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Dear "big boobs don't count if you're fat",
Big dicks don't count if you are one.
Dear optimist pessimist and realist,
While you guys were arguing about the piece of cake, I ate it.
Dear friends new boyfriend,
Please be respectful to her. I know how you can be with people, and I swear to God, if you hurt her, I will never forgive you.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Please shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Dear okay-looking guy in my college class,
Please stop answering biology questions so confidently in a room filled with mostly idiots.
Dear Cat,
Please never learn to talk.
Dear Harper Lee,
Oh, you wrote TWO books now? Call me when you've written over 50.
Dear Mom,
You don't need to open the bathroom door to talk to me.
Dear professors telling me to always speak up to my superiors because "the squeaky wheel gets the oil",
Or it gets thrown out and replaced by a non-squeaky wheel.
Dear westerners who cannot bear the seemingly prolonged winter,
Want to exchange?
Dear people who take the elevator,
Please take the stairs if you are going up/down one floor, and are physically able.
Dear Mom,
Just that you don't see me studying does not mean that I'm not studying at all
Dear Women,
You know why there are no more "nice guys"? Because when we were nice to you, you treated us like shit and went after the asshole. So guess what, we became assholes so that you would pay attention to us.
Dear fellow atheists,,
Please stop being assholes. Seriously. You bitch and moan about being "oppressed" if religious people make even slight references to their faith, yet you think it's okay for you to blatantly disrespect and insult others' beliefs?
Dear Everyone in High School,
The "popular" girls aren't always the mean ones.
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