Please come to my yard even though I can not make milk shakes
Sincerely, lactose intolerant. . .
Dear guys who tell me they "like less makeup",
Please wear less makeup then.
Sincerely, Why are you telling me this anyway?
That wasn't very knife
Dear person who first ate an egg,
Who eats something that comes out of a chickens ass
Sincerely, confused and disturbed person
Getting lost on the day that I have a speech to present and am performing with my choir was not very considerate!
Sincerely, I sounded like Donald Duck singing the Hallelujah Chorus
So you called in, over the phone, because you want to disuss issues with your account, but you don't want to talk about your account over the phone because it might not be secure?
Sincerely, not sure where to go from here
Dear Meghan Trainor,
I have a list of demands too. Allow me to deliver them in song form.
Sincerely, your Future Husband
Dear donut holes,
Please stop tricking me into thinking you're healthier than a whole donut because you are smaller... It doesn't count when I eat fifteen of you.
Sincerely, donut shop worker who gets free donuts
Dear popular girl,
Please accept my apology for never appreciating you before.
Sincerely, when our teacher asked where the worst of the worst prisoners go, you replied askaban.
Dear people asking about my track event,
"Oh, so you jump over hurdles?"
Sincerely, no... we hurdle over hurdles
Dear girls everywhere,
I've scheduled the times I will visit. Most of these times are dates, dances, vacations, presentations, and, most importantly, those days when you decide to wear white pants.
Sincerely, your period.
Dear children's book illustrators,
Where does it say I'm an egg?
Sincerely, Humpty Dumpty
Please stop bullying people so that Disney and Nickelodeon can stop all those annoying commercials
Sincerely, Annoyed person who just wants to watch TV
Dear Mom and Dad,
Even Dora's parents let her explore the world with talking animals and a singing backpack, and I can't hang out with my friends after 12?
Sincerely, Your grounded 23-year-old son