Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear relatives,
Please stop telling me, "you're next" at weddings.
Dear short people,
No, I don't play basketball. Do you play miniature golf?
Dear guy who "slowed down" at the stop sign,
If I beat you with a stick, would you want me to stop or just "slow down"?
Dear World,
They say good men are hard to find.
Dear ABC,
Please make me the next Bachelor! I want to date a bunch of drunk, tan, dolled-up girls while still being considered a gentleman.
Dear innocence,
Sorry I have to leave you behind now.
Dear girl wearing a white dress to prom,
I am taking you to prom and not to the alter, right?
Dear planking fanatics,
I plank in bed every night...
Dear neighbor,
I'm not getting laid right now! You have such a dirty mind...
Dear Harry,
It's a good thing we're not related, because your name would be Harry Longbottom.
Dear Snooki,
Get back to work!
Dear peoplewhotalklikethisallthetime,
Can you not find the spacebar?
Dear kid tripping over his pants,
Did a famous rapper die and you have to wear your pants at half-mast?
Dear world,
Wearing tight, white shorts is every girl's way of telling you that she is not on her period.
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