Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Dear illegal Mexican immigrants,
Thank you for distracting the Americans from the other border...
Dear Lady at the park,
When you asked me if the baby was my sister, and I said no the look on your face was priceless!
Dear winter,
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Dear world,
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear husband,
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
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