SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Butchers,
Please don't back up into your meat grinders.
Dear Dad,
Please Stop singing "Everyday I'm suffering."
Dear Diary,
I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
Dear Internet,
Please realize stereotypes are there for a reason
Dear Star Wars fans,
What if the Indiana Jones stories are really Han Solo's dreams when he is frozen in Carbonite?
Dear boyfriend ,
Thanks for persuading everybody at the costume part that mine was the best because I was obviously Waldo and couldn't be found
Dear Republican Party,
You've got plenty of candidates that can beat Hillary. Jeb Bush is not one of them. Please, nominate somebody who can actually win.
Dear Uterus,
Please stop exacting revenge because I didn't give you a baby
Dear ball organizers,
Please do not serve food that stains, gets stuck in teeth and whips around your mouth when you try to eat it when everybody wears fancy gowns and rented tuxedos. Spaghetti in tomato sauce, green salad with orange dressing and bbq ribs, seriously?
Dear visiting in-laws,
Please remember that there are latches on our toilet lids for three reasons: your very active, inquisitive grandchildren. When you leave the lids up, those latches are rendered completely ineffective.
Dear Jobs I applied for,
Please think about getting back to me sooner. I found a better job while waiting, and 3 months is a dang long time to wait to hear that I wasn't accepted.
Dear dad,
Please know that I will never forgive you for making my childhood/teenage years a living hell. I was the best child I could be, but you still put me down.
Dear certain Americans,
Please can we have a civil conversation about gun laws and statistics without you using "Second Amendment" as your only argument? This is a really important topic, please don't shrug it off because of how it might affect you.
Dear boys,
We like sandwiches too!
Dear men who use public restrooms,
Please learn to freakin aim
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