Dear Person who suggested soldiers wear capes,
Sincerely, Edna Mode
Dear joke I heard two years ago,
I finally got it
Sincerely, just broke out laughing in the middle of a conversation
Y do u think u r smarter than me.
Sincerely, clerly age snobery, stop it snob ladis. My esays are perfect.
Please follow through with your promise.
Sincerely, not seeing any boys in my yard.
Dear elderly people,,
You are so sweet strolling arm in arm, you have probably loved each other since you were 16, and been married for 50 years.
Sincerely, thank you for restoring my belief in true love, but I really am in a hurry... Please let me by.
Dear new 20 year olds,
Congratulations!!! You just surpassed teen pregnancy!
Sincerely, renewed hope
Please stop becoming a bottomless pit every time I want to lose weight, you're not helping.
Sincerely, Can I have 5ths?
Dear random parent,
Please ensure your child is kept on a leash, or at least make sure they don't make an attempt to drink my red bull. I will not be held responsible for a hyperactive toddler.
Sincerely, I will destroy your child if this happens again.
Please, Next time you are giving a tour of the house, I'd appreciate it if you would demonstrate how awesome your room is in a fashion that doesnt include banging on the wall and shouting how "no one can here a thing!"...
Sincerely, I wish your girlfriend wasn't staying over tonight
Please quit being such a jerk.
Sincerely, getting real tired or your sh*t, a**hole
Dear peope who let others use their laptops,
Please!!!! DELETE YOUR HISTORY...I DONT NEED TO KNOW YOU WATCH PORN
Sincerely, teenage girl who knows alot about her moms boyfriend then she should...
Being killed by a Hobbit may look bad, but at least I wasn't killed by baby.
When you don't call pluto a planet because it is to small, it is like not calling a midget a person because of the same reason.
Sincerely, I want my childhood planet back.
Dear Girl across the library,
Please If I can hear your music from several tables away, I feel sorry for your ears.
Sincerely, Maroon 5 isn't THAT good.