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Dear guy sitting next to me,
I can see you cheating off my answers on the test
Dear people that check behind the shower curtain for murderers,
what are you going to do when you find one?
Dear Parents,
Please rethink what you you just said.
Dear graham crackers,
Let's have a hot, sticky threesome with marshmallows.
Dear Luna...,
We have your socks and shoes.
Dear textbook word problems,
Please stop trying to make everything sound all diverse and all-inclusive. It's not working.
Dear parents,
Please stop asking me when I'm going t get a boyfriend.
Dear people staring at me,
Please stop. I have to wear this "school girl" outfit. I didn't choose to wear a plaid skirt and Oxford shirt. I go to a Christian Academy
Dear Boobs,
Don't worry babe, I still support you.
Dear Americans still waiting for their Hogwarts acceptance letters,
Please note that to get from Hogwarts to America, the owls have to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Clearly, they all get lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Dear Cat,
I'm sorry I shocked you on the nose! I was only trying to boop you!
Dear Tampon thats just fell out of my bag,
So I couldn't find you earlier when I needed you. But you decide to make an appearance now?!? WHY?!
Dear idiot that jumped my back fence to take my new puppy,
I bet you didn't realize that I had a protection trained Rottweiler in my yard too.
Dear world,
This is an experiment to test the efficiency of the moderator system. Vote yes on this and we'll see how long it takes to get to the main page.
Dear person trying to sleep,
You know what we haven't thought about in a while? Monsters
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