Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people who want flying cars,
That'd be cool, but you could probably only fly them in special areas, and you'd probably need special training, and specific fuel, and they'd probably be super expensive . . .
Dear girls playing never have I ever,
WHAT HAVEN'T YOU DONE?!
Dear French teacher,
"It's a video of France in the modern world, France today." Yeah right.
Dear student who gets my Chemistry text book next year,
You're welcome.
Dear Stephen King,
You're a jerk.
Dear everyone,
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!
Dear boyfriend,
What?
Dear neighbor looking out the window at the wrong moment,
Well. This just got awkward.
Dear Bra,
Thanks for being there for me when Pocket wasn't.
Dear person trying to push a pull door,
AHAHAHAHAHA........oops.
Dear movie theater usher,
What do you mean my bag smells like fast food?
Dear board games,
Sorry, I can't.
Dear MTV,
If you won't cancel Jersey Shore, then I will.
Dear smart water,
Please is there a minimum intelligence level required to drink this?
Dear self-conscious teen,
Whenever you're feeling down, just remember: YOU were the fastest sperm.
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