Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people who are on no carb diets,
I hope you realize that fruits, veggies, and dairy are all carbohydrates.
Dear Jersey Shore,
Please give me my little sister back.
Dear biology class,
Yes, I just made a Wookie sound when our biology teacher mentioned science fiction. What're you going to do about it?
Dear smokers,
No one wants to stand downwind of me, either.
Dear Harry Potter,
Your mom died trying to protect you, too? We should be friends!
Dear nice romantic boys,
I'm too old for hide-and-go-seek now.
Dear early bird,
Go ahead and have your worm. By the time I wake up, the bacon should be ready.
Dear man wearing a fanny pack over his man parts,
Please never dig around in there while in public again.
Dear guy with a mullet,
At what point did you look in the mirror and decide that looked good?
Dear undergrad who wrote on my teaching review "Strengths: Good Mustache.",
Thank you for making it all worthwhile.
Dear little kid at the park,
Please keep thinking I have "metal arms." It's adorable.
Dear college,
I am a left handed ginger.
Dear wife,
Please stop using PMS as an excuse. You get your period once a month, not once a week.
Dear tampon,
For such a small thing, you come with some big warnings....
Dear America ,
Please, rethink your eating habits.
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