SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Chicken and the Egg,
Does it really matter who came first? Because I win anyway.
Dear Fox News,
What does the Fox Say?
Dear Voldemort,
You should have put one of your Horcruxes into my ex-boyfriend's ego.
Dear Animal Planet,
Please stop recording us having sex on camera. We don't want to become famous like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. We value our privacy!
Dear other melon,
I'm sorry I just can't run away with you and get married.
Dear human,
I will not apologize for being an asshole to you.
Dear spanish teacher,
I THROW MY SPANISH IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYIN' AYYYY OOOO NO COMPRENDO!
Dear plumbers,
Never be hot.
Dear science nerds,
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. What does the bartender say?
Dear Republicans,
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Dear toilet paper,
Please stop complaining that you have the worst job. I don't want to argue with you about this anymore.
Dear North Korea,
I meant put the take-out in the microwave when i said to nuke the Chinese.
Dear toys,
Was it awkward when Andy was getting dressed?
Dear clumsy person,
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time...
Dear those who believe you only live once,
Oh really? Well then we'll see about that...
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