Your complaints about the monster under your bed offend me.
Sincerely, your twin on the bottom bunk
Dear pervy guys staring at me as I eat my Popsicle,
Sincerely, oh I even broke the Popsicle stick.
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Professor Snape
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Sincerely, Just Wondering
Dear "America runs on Dunkin",
Sincerely, you think we run
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
Dear Tiny sweet baby of mine,
You are, literally, smaller than your daddy's foot, how do you poop so much?
Sincerely, confused mommy
Dear purple grape,
Sincerely, green grape
Dear person who just rear-ended me,
Thank you for singing "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" When we got out.
Sincerely, don't worry, you're covered
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Sincerely, a perfectionist finally at ease
My aim is to keep the toilets clean, your aim helps
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Sincerely, still want that sandwich?
Dear Michael Jackson,