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ALL TIME
Dear Donald Trump,
Next time you go for a spray tan, take off the goggles
Dear ISIS,
Please stop being such LOSERS
Dear random boners,
Stop. Just stop.
Dear classmate,
I undertand we are identical twins, and it's alright if you get us messed up. I understand, it's hard. But for the love of God please do not ask either of us how we tell ourselves apart.
Dear humans,
Why do we walk on two legs? We're wasting our arm muscles.
Dear Neighbor Mom,
Please bring your screaming child out into the shared hallway of our apartments so it can shout it's feelings to the whole living earth. It's shouts sound like a million shrieking cats.
Dear young teens,
Please stop talking and acting like you're grown. wait till you're 18 AND THEN mess up your life.
Dear Parents,
Please stop putting so much pressure on me and comparing me to everyone else. You make me hate this home and this family. Every time I come home there is more and more yelling. The one time I tell you both that I am feeling like shit and am honest to God trying as hard as I possibly can... telling me that "you're just not doing it right" is not going to make me feel any better. I have cut myself and at this point will not hesitate jumping in front of a car when I see it coming. I contemplate whether or not this makes me mentally insane or simply tired of your bullshit. I know it sounds harsh, but I can't pretend like I love you if the only thing I hear all the time is, "why can't you be better?"
Dear Everyone thinking this Election is between Two Evils - Hilary or Trump,
Please It's NOT!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember that Bernie's still in this and Write ins are a thing. You don't have to choose 'the lesser of two evils'...
Dear boy who picked on me in middle school,
Why didn't you tell me how you felt when we were 13?
Dear Kids I babysit,
Please don't bug me to play the second I get there at 7 am
Dear mom who says I do nothing,
Please realize that I am doing something: Trying to fight off the wish to die. And you're not helping.
Dear past self,
Don't listen to what Dad says. Gay is ok.
Dear ex best friend,
Please understand that I am not trying to ignore you , but you abandoning me after I was raped really hurt and caused a lot of problems for me. I'm just trying to do what's best for me. I'm sorry.
Dear classmate,
So according to you I'm racist because I don't like Indian food? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, I don't like curry or anything spicy?
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