Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Sincerely, the police department
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Sincerely, Careful... She bites
I liked you better in my soup.
Sincerely, confused algebra student
Your Mom thought I was big enough.
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Sincerely, And while you're at it, make a face wash called eyes, ears, mouth and nose
Dear chemistry teacher,
Whats Ba+Na2 synthesize into?
Sincerely, BANANA. Now thats an equation.
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Sincerely, the male members of the cast
Dear Edward and Jacob,
I have to tell you two setting important... I recently found this out... I'm... A lesbian
Dear two-ply toilet paper,
I guess it's true. You don't really know what you have until it's gone.
Sincerely, college kid with a chaffed butt.
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Sincerely, I wrote it during lunch.
Dear I love you like Snape loves Lily,
I love you like Lily loves Snape.
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Sincerely, your owner who nearly had a heart attack.
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Sincerely, reaching for it with my tongue like a retarded chicken
Dear fellow schoolmates,
I was so proud when all four hundred of us left the gym when the DJ played a Justin Beiber song.
Sincerely, Never been prouder