Please tell me why you always complain your exhausted and then waste energy on stupid things we don't need?
Sincerely, Like growing weird little nipple hairs I pluck off anyway
Dear girl I like,
My finger slipped. I didn't mean to say "I think you're adora8ht895flhjdig759th02"
Sincerely, sneezed so hard, my head hit the keyboard
Please realize that when you say "due Friday", we hear "do Friday."
I thought you could fly.
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Sincerely, A "heterophobic" gay
Dear Self Defence Instructor,
No matter how much peril I am in, I am not going to "grab and rip" someone's groin.
Sincerely, no. Just no.
Roses are cool, violets are sub par, I know you don't love me......
Sincerely, so I'll stalk you from afar...
I just realised 'mother of pearl' is called that because it comes from oyster shells. Literally the mother's of pearls.
Sincerely, Did everyone else already know?
Dear person talking shit in Swedish,
What makes you think you're the only Scandinave in America?
Sincerely, amused Norwegian
Dear People who say Storm Troopers can't hit anything,
Apparently you haven't seen Revenge of the Sith. Or your mom lately.
Sincerely, Storm Troopers everywhere
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sad.
Sincerely, saying 'It's my version of a cappuccino' just makes it worse
Dear Gun Toting Americans,
Please realise that everyone else is sick of you acting shocked every time there's a mass shooting.
Sincerely, countries who don't think citizens need assault rifles
I've had so many of these published I'm starting to think they're all written either me or like one guy I hate.
Sincerely, Not the meta ones though
Dear Harry Potter,
I am the real saviour.
Sincerely, Hermoine Granger