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Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Dear alphabet,
I liked you better in my soup.
Dear NASA,
Your Mom thought I was big enough.
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Dear chemistry teacher,
Whats Ba+Na2 synthesize into?
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Dear Edward and Jacob,
I have to tell you two setting important... I recently found this out... I'm... A lesbian
Dear two-ply toilet paper,
I guess it's true. You don't really know what you have until it's gone.
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Dear I love you like Snape loves Lily,
I love you like Lily loves Snape.
Dear dog,
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Dear fellow schoolmates,
I was so proud when all four hundred of us left the gym when the DJ played a Justin Beiber song.
Dear identical twin ,
You should have seen your face...
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