SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people,
Please stop attacking me with your faces. It hurts.
Dear Sister,
Saying "You're the ugliest person I know." really doesn't work with you.
Dear people who tell me I'm short,
No shit.
Dear person who invented the high five,
What did the other person do when you spontaneously decided to slap hands?
Dear Peter-Freaking-Pan,
We have the same middle name. Let's be friends!
Dear white girls,
Ok, so like how much Starbucks can you can't before your Uggs literally can't even?
Dear girls,
I don't love summer because I see you in skimpy bikinis, I love summer because I never need to wear a shirt
Dear world,
I don't find Waldo. Waldo finds ME.
Dear Pandora advertisers,
Why do I keep getting ads in Spanish to vote for the govener of Illinois?
Dear neighbor,
Sorry I peed in your bushes.
Dear people who check behind their shower for murders,
Please realize that if you leave the shower curtain open, you can see the entire shower and you don't have to check.
Dear M&M's,
You might have blue, but do you have purple? Thats what we thought...
Dear Michael Jackson,
I don't think Annie's okay.
Dear person reading this,
Turn to page 394.
THIS IS PAGE 1
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