Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear older brother,
Please don't tell my hot date you have a shotgun, shovel, and 200 acres.
Dear "Which came first the chicken or the egg?",
In the summer of 2010, a group of british scientists discovered that the protein that created the eggshell, ovocledidin-17, was only found in chickens; proving that the chicken came first.
Dear people who cannot spell,
Please note that there is a big difference between "sweet pea" and "sweat pee."
Dear college,
I know you really want all the loans paid off... do you mind if I pay you in gum?
Dear best friend,
I remember when you were quiet and shy.
Dear teenage boy at the pool,
Please dont flatter yourself. I dont stare because I think you're attractive. It's just that you look like you might be drowning...
Dear college student,
I saw everything.
Dear sliding glass door,
You win this round.
Dear bullies,
And I suppose I have six eyes if I wear my science glasses over my prescriptions?
Dear kid telling me to stop being such a nerd,
I saw the grade on your paper.
Dear Simba,
Don't try to forbid your daughter to see the one she loves. Been there, done that.
Dear 6 year old baby girl,
Thank You for pointing your marker at me screaming "AVADA KEDAVRA" when you got mad at me.
Dear people who think the Harry Potter books go against the Christian belief,
Harry escaped death when he was a baby. When he was a young boy, he realized he was destined to destroy evil. When he grew older, he realized he needed to die. When he did die, he came back to life and conquered evil.
Dear Political Science teacher,
Thank you for allowing laptops in class.
Dear slutty girl in my class,
Please wear a skirt long enough to cover your neon green thong.
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