Dear Fellow Classmates,
Please realize that I'm not gay because I'm in marching band, I'm gay because I prefer men over women.
Sincerely, I still have more sex than you.
Please understand that I just got out of a relationship with sleep. I need some time before I'm ready for this.
Sincerely, too damn early
Please don't wake me up early from my dreams...
Sincerely, I was a merman in an underwater amusement park
Your hypothesis about the cat in the box being both alive and dead, until you check on it, makes about as much sense as this DBPB being in Spanish whenever you're not looking.
Sincerely, can't make any sense out of higher physics.
Please, do you really expect me to believe you made my ear bleed on purpose...
Sincerely, I may just be 15 but come on, I'm not THAT stupid.
Yay it's snowing in Queensland!
Sincerely, just kidding its only sea foam from the incredibly high tides
Dear Comrade Obama,
This is a capitalist society, not a communist dictatorship.
Sincerely, The Ghost of Reagan
When I named you Baggins I never thought you'd actually live up to the name
Sincerely, you died after I watched the Lord of the Rings movies for the first time
Dear Dolores Umbridge,
Congrats. You live up to your name
Sincerely, I just learnt what "umbrage" means
Please shutup when someone says something extremely stupid in class and you want to hurl verbal insults at them from across the room.
Sincerely, college student who is seriously concerned about what the future holds for these idiots
When I ask "How are you?" or "How've you been?" and you respond with good, then ask the same of me, don't be shocked when I say evil.
Sincerely, It's I've been well.
I feel as though we haven't bonded lately. Are you scared of me?
Dear pessimist, optimist, realist,
While you were busy arguing over the glass, I drank it.
Dear Villains in almost every show ever,
Why do you only attack where the area the heroes are in?
Sincerely, There are plenty other places!