Please keep singing in the shower, you're a hit on Youtube
Dear Weight Watchers,
You do realize your building is between a McDonald's and a donut place, right?
Sincerely, I'm not getting any skinnier
You're adorable, but please stop stepping on me while I'm lying down.
Sincerely, Ow! Not the boob!
What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Dear person who wrote "I love you Linda" in the boys bathroom,
Linda would be in the girls bathroom.
Sincerely, just saying
Dear person who came up with hugs,
Was the very first hug really creepy?
Sincerely, It must have been like "What are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me."
Dear Feminine Product Sizing,
Does anyone actually measure their flow in ml?
Sincerely, girls everywhere
You brought mosquitos and you didn't bring us?!
Dear people who want pigs to fly one day,
Please be careful what you wish for.
Sincerely, look how bad it is when we get pooped on by birds
And you think your time of the month is bad.
I want you inside of me.
Please don't get mad at me, your the one that told me to get a job.
Sincerely, I'm on 16 and Pregnant
Dear popular people,
If you're cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you?
Sincerely, common sense
Please stop calling me black. It's "African-American" now.