Dear girl who just called me fat,
Please get your eyes checked. I'm quite noticeably underweight. 20 pounds underweight, actually.
Sincerely, the insecure teenage girl somewhere between amused and severely offended
Will you marry me? I bought you a piece of bread.
Sincerely, Peanut Butter
Dear Star Wars fans,
A suggestion: Next time you got to an airport, cover your luggage so that it shows a picture of R2-D2 and C-3PO. Then when TSA asks to take your luggage, you know what to say.
Sincerely, "These are not the droids you're looking for"
Dear guy in my college class who's glaring at me,
I know my wrapper for my granola bar is loud, I feel bad, really I do
Sincerely, but its 7 am I haven't eaten, deal with it!
If you don't know why I should care about something, why should I care about said something?
While I appreciate the fact that you helped revise my essay, I can't read your handwriting.
Sincerely, A student
Dear biased professors,
So, you only allowed one of my submitted works into the showcase, while everyone else got 5? Guess your plan backfired.
Sincerely, the only student who actually sold work
Thank you for looking absolutely perfect this morning!
Sincerely, Didn't hear the alarm clock
Dear girl with the crop top and jeans with multiple holes,
I'm sorry that my first thought was trashy. You could be one of the nicest people around. But I'm not sorry for thinking your clothes were inappropriate when we have wind chills of -15 degrees Fahrenheit.
Sincerely, someone who tried and failed not to be a judgmental prick.
Dear school dress codes,
Whether girls show their shoulders or not makes no difference to us.
Dear chemistry teacher,
If the dress code says we have to keep our boobs covered, you should have to, also.
Sincerely, modest student who is tired of seeing your boobs.
Have I mentioned how little I care?
Sincerely, a student.
How did I manage to get tendinitis in my hip by walking across my college campus at age 21?
Sincerely, aren't I a little young for this?
Dear popular girls,
At least my boyfriend isn't a douche.
Sincerely, that nerd at the other side of the lunchroom
Dear "socially awkward" girls in my class,
You are NOT socially awkward. You each have 20 friends plus, people follow you during lunch so they can talk with you, and you always have at least 5 people to pick from when the teacher tells us to pick partners. Stop saying you're antisocial or awkward or a forever alone. It's quite offensive.
Sincerely, a genuine forever alone that always ends up working alone in class and sitting alone at lunch