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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Stores,
Christmas in September? Damn, we're ahead of schedule!
Dear Sink Fairy,
Please be real. Wave your magic wand over those who put the dishes in the sink in the first place. Then you wouldn't have to visit so often.
Dear people who call me a hipster,
Please stop calling me one, I wear beanies because I am a little bitch when it comes to the cold.
Dear Mario Bros.,
I'm back from my 20 year vacation and feel really bad about the whole peach thing. Please accept my dearest ....... WHO THE HELL IS BOWSER, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CASTLE?
Dear human's,
One day you will sit, stay and beg.
Dear homework,,
I always win
Dear Customer,
I understand that the bags are weak, but you don't have to act as if they're made of tissue paper! I mean, triple bagging? That wasn't even heavy enough to justify double bagging!
Dear Mother,
Next time, please actually point or give directions when you say the item we are searching for is 'over there' .
Dear conscience,
Please kick in BEFORE I make stupid decisions, not after.
Dear Fiction,
Please stop being so fantastic and unrealistic. People keep leaving me for you.
Dear Santa,
I thought we agreed on December
Dear boyfriend,
Thank you so much for making ME a sandwich and you didnt even ask me to make you one after.
Dear Parents,
Something's gone wrong if you're more addicted to Facebook then I am.
Dear Obama haters who think he's both a Marxist and a Muslim,
Marxism teaches that religion is the opiate of the people. Islam is a religion. Marxism and Islam conflict.
Dear Noisy Tampon Wrapers,
Could you try and be a little louder?
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