Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Sincerely, your stylish AND smart daughter.
Thank you for preparing me for the time when I'll have to figure out the lengths of the mid-segments of an isosceles triangle.
Sincerely, oh wait...
Dear cute lifeguards,
I hope you can't tell that I just farted.
Sincerely, making bubbles.
I wish you had to pass a sobriety test to login.
Sincerely, I would save a lot of time not having delete things the morning after...
There can only be one.
Dear freshly polished coffee table,
Spinning around on my stomach has never been so fun!
The other day, I had this CRAZY dream...
Dear midwife who just fainted during my first child's birth,
Where did you go to school!?!?
Sincerely, WAKE UP WAKE UP!!
I missed you!
Sincerely, girl who doesn't clean that often.
Do you need some help?
Dear pet cat,
Thank you for taking a bite out of my unwrapped McDouble and giving me a literal icanhazcheezburger moment!
Sincerely, maybe your cute kitteh face will finally make it to the main page!
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Care to join us?
Dear Charmin Brand toilet paper,
Aren't your commercials technically bear porn?
Sincerely, tee-hee... naked bears!