Dear Facebook users,
Please remember that hash tags are for TWITTER.
Sincerely, #really #freaking #annoyed
Dear Step Brother,
Please stop masturbating in the middle of the night
Sincerely, these walls aren't sound proof.
Please don't bang on the door to be let in at midnight when I'm all alone in the house
Sincerely, over-reactive imagination
Dear tall people,
Yes, I know I'm short, yes, I know you find it funny, but STOP USING MY HEAD AS AN ARMREST!
Sincerely, short person
Dear dog owner who just let your dog crap on my lawn,
Please clean up your dog's "present." It's not my job to deal with that shit...literally.
Sincerely, annoyed home owner
Dear Lesbians at the Hotel Pool,
As much as I agree with gay rights, do you really thinks it is appropriate to basically dry hump each other when my two year old and 7 year old are watching?
Sincerely, Mommy! I want to play with them.
Not sure if it's hunger pains or just cramps...
Sincerely, but I'll eat anyway.
Dear Jade (my cat),
Thank you for coming over and licking my face to make sure I was okay when I fell down the stairs.
Sincerely, My parents just laughed at me.
Please move the : and the ; buttons farther apart.
Sincerely, I just made that text VERY awkward.
Dear ignorant classmate,
So... Remind me again why it's a problem that I like both men and women.
Sincerely, you're angry and I get the best of both worlds. Have fun with that.
Thanks, but I REALLY didn't need to see that.
Sincerely, so it really is true that there's a fetish for everything...
Dear rest of the world,
Just to tell you no one in Australia says "put a shrimp on the barbie" For one we call them prawns!
Sincerely, ALL Australians
I can make you a non-vegan rather quickly!
Sincerely, Poisonus Snake Bite!
Please aim at the toilet... Not the wall.
Sincerely, girl who hates the unisex bathroom at her work.