Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear smart water,
Please is there a minimum intelligence level required to drink this?
Dear health class,
Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.
Dear everyone,
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!
Dear Ariel,
Sebastian didn't want you to become human because you're a ginger and would easily get burnt by the sun.
Dear person who thought it was a high five,
That's just how I wave.
Dear Hollister,
It's so dark in here, I can't even read the price tag!
Dear sun,
My whole world revolves around you.
Dear person who checks behind the shower curtain,
It's funny because I'm actually in your bedroom closet.
Dear parents who told me "college is the fountain of knowledge",
Yeah, well, students go there to drink.
Dear MTV,
If you won't cancel Jersey Shore, then I will.
Dear older sister,
As you leave for college I have something important to say: Finders Keepers!
Dear sister,
I apologize for missing the toilet seat so much. I'm a shotgun, not a sniper.
Dear fat tourist,
Please continue buying my "Famous Bermuda Sand" 200 feet away from a beach.
Dear people who think snuggies are stupid,
I was a disbeliever too...
Dear witchy popular girl,
I would say, "I may be a nerd, but watch out, I'll be your boss someday," but I don't think that's gonna happen.
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