Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear cute boy in my biology class,
You put the XY in sexy.
Dear girlfriend who just freaked out at me for hanging out with another girl,
Meet my sister.
Dear cookie dough,
How come you're always better than the actual cookie?
Dear America,
Seriously, spray cheese?
Dear people who complained about the white Coke cans looking too much like Diet Coke cans,
Please accept our sincerest apologies. Its so much more important that Coca-Cola should cater to your needs instead of donating millions of dollars to help save the polar bears. You're right.
Dear insecure guy on top of me,
Please stop asking if I "like that." If I didn't, I wouldn't still be under you.
Dear girls,
I don't want in your pants... I have my own.
Dear boredom,
They are using you to get to me.
Dear girls,
Actually, we put the "XY" in the people you find sexy.
Dear aliens,
I have done more probing than you can imagine...
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
While I accomplished saving my entire country from one of the toughest armies in the world, you accomplished... sleeping...
Dear P.E. Teacher,
Please bring back the giant parachute.
Dear Disney's Beauty and the Beast,
So it really doesn't matter whats on the outside?
Dear tooth fairy ,
I know I'm a little old, but if I pulled out my tooth and put it under my pillow, would you please come? I really need the money...
Dear people I know who see me at the movies and ask me what I'm doing,
Giving birth.
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