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Dear feminists,
I want to be one of you but there is no way in hell I'm burning my bra. My boobs are just too big...
Dear sleeping dog,
RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF!!!!!
Dear people having a bad day,
If Britney Spears could make it through 2007, you can make it through today.
Dear people who pray before meals,
Please stop praying to God to make your double-decker cheeseburger, large coke, and fries nourish your body. That's not how it works...
Dear boyfriend,
Please know that I push you to take a shower after sex so I can finish what you didn't...
Dear Procrastination,
Thank you for making me possible.
Dear love train,
I believe you forgot to pick me up.
Dear girls,
Please stop complaining about your periods. Would you rather be pregnant?
Dear Winter,
We have enough snow now!
Dear cheerleaders,
Jumping around half-naked with pom poms is not a sport!
Dear those who are grossed out by incest,
If you love someone, you should be with them. I don't see what is wrong with that.
Dear KFC commercial executives,
Please stop featuring only African American people in your commercials. We do eat other things besides fried chicken...
Dear Tom Hiddleston,
Please continue being a heart throb for girls and a great role model for boys.
Dear fellow teens,
Know that in twenty years from now it won't matter what clothes you wore, what sports you played or how many people had a crush on you. What matters will be your kindness, intelligence and hard-work.
Dear companies searching for entry-level employees,
"Entry-level" should mean no experience needed. How am I expected to ever find a job when the entry-level positions require 2 years or more of experience!
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