Please leash your dogs on walks. Your dog is small but wants to kill my large, leashed dog. If it gets here and bites her, it won't survive.
Sincerely, just because it's small doesn't make it safe
Dear men who use public restrooms,
Please learn to freakin aim
Sincerely, a part time employee sick of cleaning your pee off the floor
Calling black Republicans "Uncle Toms" is racist. Your political affiliation does not give you license to be hateful to the people who disagree with you.
Sincerely, Sensible Americans
Dear woman at my gym,
There was no real need to bitch at me the way you did. I didn't realize that looking at you was deemed offensive.
Sincerely, I just thought you were pretty...
Dear friend who keeps telling me to donate to her causes,
According to you, I'm in the top 15% of richest people globally. However, that does not mean I can afford to go giving it away. Different countries have different currencies, different economies and different prices. What I get may make me wealthy by comparison to the average farmer in Ghana, but here I'm barely above the poverty line. Perhaps you should turn your attention to your own back yard before you go saving the world.
Sincerely, having trouble feeding myself, let alone anyone else.