Dear Victoria's Secret models,
Don't you just hate it when you're wandering the woods in your bra and panties and someone takes a picture?!
Sincerely, you must have the worst luck
Dear air freshener,
"Do not spray directly onto throat "
I like how I can do anything in them and no one will ever know.
Sincerely, I just made out with a chair and robbed a pet store.
Dear jerks who say they don't date fat girls,
I may be fat but you're ugly
Sincerely, I can lose weight...you're stuck with that face forever