SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Human,
You made a mistake in buying me. I will now take control of your life until the day I die. For if you do anything out of line of what I want from you, I can sink my ever-so-sharp teeth into your neck at full force in the dead of night when you're dreaming about how you wish you could have had a dog instead.
Dear World,
Please remember that life sucks, get over it!!
Dear pneumonia,
Please remember that I am 25. You are about 50 years early.
Dear People reading this,
I'm avoiding three study guides, a packet about verbs, nouns, parts of speech, exedra, and a paper on Roman History.
Dear Future College Students,
Never take two different lab classes at once (Anatomy and Microbiology for example). You will never know sleep again....
Dear Swimsuit Season,
It's hard to accomplish anything when staying awake is a feat.
Dear people of dearblankpleaseblank,
I agree that being a virgin doesn't make someone better than everyone else, but you make it sound it's okay for teenagers to have sex.
Dear popular girl who bullied me in high school,
Thank you for liking my post on Facebook about me being down a dress size even though I'm still overweight. It meant more to me than you'll ever know.
Dear Nail Polish Companies,
Please consider making shorter, wider bottles of nail polish.
Dear roomate,
So, your girlfriend hasn't left OUR house in 2 months, she eats/sleeps/showers and does her laundry here and now also receives her mail here; yet you insist you haven't moved her in?
Dear older brother,
Please stop treating my bipolar friend like trash. I'm sorry you don't get along, but that's because you called her a cunt for standing up for me when you were threatening me.
Dear maybe we need a refresher on the word "equality",
Maybe we need a refresher on how hard it was for white males to gain their rights and power.
Dear "gamer gurrrlz",
Please realize it's called a "FACE cam" and adjust it accordingly
Dear social media socialites,
Do you really need to update us on every living moment of your life? Yes, we know you go to the bathroom. Yes, we know you eat. Yes, we know you bathe and take showers (I hope). Yes, we know you have sex. Yes, we know you have to raise your kids.
Dear Religions of the World,
We may have our differences, but I think we can agree on one thing: Scientology is a brainwashing, money-schaming, phony cult
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