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Dear jerks shouting obscenities from their car,
Why yes, I am a homo sapien. Thank you for your keen observation!
Dear straight men,
Just because I am gay, doesn't mean I am attracted to you. I actually think most of you are quite hideous. Hope my honesty makes you feel better...
Dear girls,
Just helping you reel in a vampire boyfriend.
Dear reader,
I know you went from reading calmly to SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD!
Dear people who say "nothing is impossible",
Have you ever tried slamming a revolving door?
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