Dear glasses wearer,
Please note that if you leave your glasses lying around, I will inevitably try them on.
Sincerely, friend with 20/20 vision who wants to appear more intelligent.
Remember how you said a black guy would be president when pigs flew? You're welcome.
Sincerely, swine flu.
Dear teacher who said "no offense" when you called me a Negro,
I'm only half black.
Sincerely, only half offended.
Dear teens about to do homework,
You should go on Facebook, someone liked your status. Oh, and update your Twitter too, you haven't done that since like yesterday! Don't forget to check your email though. Oh, and your AIM. Did I mention that YouTube has a hilarious new video?
Sincerely, procrastination and the Internet have joined forces.