Dear Precious Puppy,
Please know I love you and will never forget you. I'm sorry I didn't find in the tick in time; your favourite toy is buried with you.
Sincerely, Your Owner who loves you
Dear "Alone with cake batter",
Can I join you?
Sincerely, Shy single gentleman
Dear Westboro Baptist,
There are homosexual Christians in the world. If God, AKA 'our controller', really had anything against what they do, he probably would have done something about it by now.
Sincerely, a heterosexual semi-Christian
Please stop locking yourselves out of your rooms. Your adults bring your key with you!
Sincerely, Your RA
There is a special place in hell for those of you who choose to drive with your high beams on during the DAY.
Dear "gay people will ruin the sanctity of marriage",
If you need to compare your marriage to those of others for it to have meaning, then you are the one with a weak marriage.
Sincerely, the sanctity of your marriage relies on you and your partner, not on other people.
Please don't ask me to tell you me course load for next year "again" when I haven't told it to you at all yet.
Sincerely, Your daughter who only *just* finished signing up for classes
Dear Car Driving up my bum,
Please I realise 40km is a slow speed but guess what? It's the current speed limit; trust me, I hate the speed as much as you do but there's nothing I can do. Oh, and this area is a known police-hangout.
Sincerely, Another Driver
Please forgive me for telling the guidance counselors on you. I was only trying to help you. I'm scared for you. It hurts me more than you can know when I see the scars from the cuts on your arms.
Sincerely, your friend who's begging you for forgiveness and only wanted you to get help.
Dear new friend request,
I have never met you before and we have no mutual friends
Sincerely, how did you find me?
Please understand that just because my boyfriend is Indian it doesn't mean he's going to try to take me away to India and make me a Hindu, he was born and raised in America. Besides, maybe I would like to go India. It is not for you to decide and I would appreciate it if you kept your racist opinions to yourself. I love him. That's all that matters.
Sincerely, your granddaughter who still loves you but doesn't care about race.
Please Don't judge Australians based on our current idiot prime minister.
Sincerely, We think he is ridiculous too..
Please stop complaining about how horrible our generation is, you raised us.
Sincerely, annoyed kid who doesn't deserve all the blame
Dear person who decided woman should shave their legs,,
Please tell me why this was necessary.
Sincerely, lazy female