Dear Next Girl,
Please I just want a girl who's honest enough to leave her phone face up while we hang out.
Sincerely, the Ex-Boyfriend
Dear girl in my english discussion group,
Please let me do my job that I was assigned. I appreciate you trying to help me make connections between the book we are reading and other things, but I only need a few connections, not a hundred connections on the SAME subject. You chose to have your job just like I chose mine, its not my fault your job is just to draw stinken pictures while the rest of us actually have to write things down.
Sincerely, your highly annoyed group connector
Yeah, I own a European car. In fact, I own two.
Sincerely, But I live in Europe.
Dear sweet guy friend,
You've been there when my heart was broken and I've been there when yours was. Now I build up your self esteem when you don't think you're attractive even though all girls fawn over you and you're extremely successful. Please be nice enough to send me more than a drunk text every mow and again.
Sincerely, I miss my friend who used to lift my spirits too.
Dear fashion industry,
Please tell me this: how is it fashion if it's hideous?
Sincerely, let's be real here, nobody sane is gonna wear that...
Please make your bottles childproof, not adultproof too!
Sincerely, I seriously can't open the bottle
Dear man on the bus,
Please don't snap at us if we ask if you're alright. You're coughing and weezing, and it sounds like you're having a heart attack.
Sincerely, a concerned bus rider
You're awesome and beautiful.
Sincerely, Just thought I'd put that out there.
Please let me know what i am suppose to be doing with you
Sincerely, confused college kid who needs some help
On April Fools you should give out salads no matter what the person orders,
Sincerely, It would be so funny to watch how people react!
Please stop interrupting me when I'm doing my homework
Sincerely, this is due tomorrow
Please explain how the gourmet yogurt flown in from Maine and packed in plastic is more environmentally friendly and ethical than the chickens I raised, killed, and cleaned up after myself.
Sincerely, Tired of your Pomposity
Dear Slow Drivers on the Highway During Rush Hour,
I have a special place reserved for you.
Dear "no excuse for pregnancy",
WHY ARENT YOU TELLING THIS TO THE BOYS TOO HUH? DID YOU EVER TAKE SEX ED? It takes mommy AND daddy parts to impregnate someone, and not all forms of birth control work all the time, even when used correctly. So go eff yourself
Sincerely, infuriated member of society