Dear Mother Nature,
I think you are going through menopause.
Sincerely, snowing in October
Dear popular girls,
I would say some day you'll be working for me, but I'm not planning on buying Hooters...
Sincerely, nerdy girls
Dear people who say "there is nothing that tastes better than skinny feels",
I can think of a lot. Pizza, bacon, chocolate...
Sincerely, Jennifer Lawrence
I hate you.
Sincerely, students everywhere
Dear Girl Scouts,
Stop trying to sucker me into buying your over-priced, mediocre cookies!
Sincerely, you make me feel so guilty for saying "no"
Dear men who don't understand lesbian sex,
If you don't understand what we do intimately, I feel bad for your girlfriends...
Sincerely, lesbians - girls who know what girls want
You are sodium funny!
Please don't stop the sleigh so fast...
Sincerely, Randolph, the brown-nosed reindeer
Dear boy I like,
You must be made of copper & tellurium because you're CuTe.
Sincerely, a geeky girl
My life. My body. My decision.
Sincerely, someone who wants their rights
I love you.
Sincerely, Marshawn Lynch
Dear hungry humans,
I give you aspara-piss!
Dear porn site,
No, I will not "like" you on Facebook!
Sincerely, someone with common sense
Romeo and Juliet had sex, and then they DIED.
Sincerely, Coach Carr.