Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear guys checking me out,
Normally I would be annoyed, but I am in sweats and a tee-shirt, so thank you.
Dear people who say money can't buy happiness,
You can buy 100 yards of bubble wrap for $20.
Dear girls on Facebook,
Please stop, it's only cute when we do it.
Dear Waldo,
You have the sweater, glasses, and "mysterious" attitude...
Dear Spanish teacher,
You talking to us in Spanish and expecting us to know what to say is like me talking to my dog and expecting him to talk back.
Dear sister's new puppy,
How are you that adorable when sneezing?!
Dear Autumn,
Without me, you're just windy, wet and annoying.
Dear Angry Birds,
Why did you release a new level?
Dear gym teacher,
I dont actually have my period, I just hate running.
Dear innocent,
Welcome! I haven't met you yet!
Dear overweight people at the gym,
Ignore the rude people complaining about your short shorts and remember that no matter how slow you're going, you're always moving faster than the ones at home on the couch.
Dear doctors office,
Having dead plants in the waiting room probably isn't such a great idea...
Dear neat and perfectly parted hair,
Let me fix that for you.
Dear thief,
It's not because you're black, it's because you stole my bike...
Dear "diamonds are a girl's best friend",
Actually it's deodorant and really good razors...
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