Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear world,
How bad has it gotten that I actually feel bad about being a virgin?
Dear magazines,
How about some articles with those ads?
Dear boys,
Contrary to popular belief, not all girls at the gym are there to check you out.
Dear "what's your type?",
Human.
Dear porn site,
No, I don't want to tweet this!
Dear hotel,
How long do you think my arms are?!
Dear Snow White,
You took an apple from a stranger that made you fall asleep, woke up to a man on top of you and kissing you, then proceeded to call him Prince Charming?
Dear Disney fans who praised Tiara as the first minority princess,
Please explain to us why we don't count.
Dear people who say "it's the thought that counts",
Well I "thought" about buying you a birthday present...
Dear Wal-Mart,
It doesn't matter if I have 20 items or less. My speedy check out won't be very speedy if you give me a 120 year old cashier.
Dear ex-boyfriend who dumped me for a prettier girl,
Don't think you can come crawling back to me now...
Dear alcohol,
I made them dizzy first.
Dear Pope,
No, being homosexual is not a sin. But that robe with that hat?
Dear girls who like bad boys,
I left a sexy rebel for a microbiologist.
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