Dear unsuspecting victim,
I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
Sincerely, The Flu
This is my brother. I don't believe you've met before.
Sincerely, he smells like a warthog's butt.
Dear great value,
Please make your cooking spray and your furniture polish more distinguishable
Sincerely, I almost killed my family making pancakes
Dear girls who complain about their period on DBPB,
Two can play at this game.
Sincerely, guys who can tell you all about our awkwardly-timed boners.
What is love? Baby don't herd me.
Sincerely, don't herd me. No more.
Students give you apples for a reason
Sincerely, Snow White
Sorry you had to find me naked in the hallway conversing with our hatstand.
Dear band teacher,
Why do you look at us like we're crazy for laughing when you tell us not to be afraid of the D and just blow?
Sincerely, immature band kids
Dear Bible app,
Please tell me how you have an update!!!
Dear physics teacher,
You made my day when, upon hearing me complain that I only got 2 hours of sleep, you told me to get a different boyfriend.
Sincerely, did you just make a sex joke??
Dear Boy who held the door open for me,
I was so impressed by your chivalry, I didn't notice you were headed into the boys locker room.
Sincerely, A very red-faced girl
Dear Last Names,
If you were given to people based on what their jobs were, then where did I come from?
You make me wet
Dear middle finger,
Thank you for always sticking up for me