Dear knight in shining armor,
No thanks, I'll go with the guy in combat boots with dog tags.
Sincerely, my Marine is my hero.
Dear boy dancing with me,
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you grab my butt, I'll punch you.
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear Bruno Mars,
How can you throw your hand in your pants, chill in your snuggie, and strut in your birthday suit all at the same time?
Sincerely, does not compute.
Dear Kermit,
You're right, it isn't easy being green.
Sincerely, Elphaba.
Dear unborn child,
I can promise you that no matter how hard you kick, you're not getting out for a while.
Sincerely, Oh, that's what getting kicked in the cervix feels like...
Dear sluts who post pictures that say "no make up!",
Please, who do you think you're fooling?
Sincerely, you're wearing more make up than clothes.
Dear Facebook,
Please never, NEVER, create a way for users to see who visits their profiles....or how many times.
Sincerely, not a stalker, just curious about my crush.
Dear Gym members,
Oh yeah, I go to the gym. I run there, and I run back.
Sincerely, I'm not paying for something I can do for free.
Dear college I want to go to,
You better have a Quidditch team.
Sincerely, deciding factor.
Dear girl I barely know who said I was pretty the other day,
Thanks. You saved my life.
Sincerely, my dad had just told me that I didn't deserve to live.
Dear boy,
Ok then, before we do this, can you buy me maternity pants and help me decide the baby's name?
Sincerely, wear the condom, stupid.
Dear vegetarians,
Please stop wearing uggs. The whole point of being vegetarian is to save the lives of animals
Sincerely, I doubt they enjoy being made into boots any more than they enjoy being eaten.
Dear Brain,
No matter how many times you can tell me it's his loss... Deep down, I know it's my loss too.
Sincerely, Heart.
Dear attractive men running,
Please keep your shirts on...
Sincerely, almost crashed... again.
Dear college students,
If you didn't spend money on liquor, you'd have it for food, books and proper hygiene.
Sincerely, be money wise!
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