Dear friend,
Your cookies are gluten free, dairy free, and delicious free.
Sincerely, not eating this...
Dear roommate,
Let me help you with that electricity bill you keep complaining about, you turn the lights OFF the same way you turn them on, just in the opposite direction.
Sincerely, the secret fairy turning them off in the middle of the night.
Dear Dog,
Please learn to use the grass on the side of the road
Sincerely, sorry cars behind me going to work, he'll be done a sec, I swear.
Dear world,
Voldemort in French: vol = escape/flight, de = of/from, mort = death. Escape from death.
Sincerely, MIND FREAKING BLOWN.
Dear people complaining about Algebra,
Wait until you get to Pre Calculus
Sincerely, a failing precal student
Dear dad,
Please stop. I do not need to hear "the talk."
Sincerely, I'm only getting on birth control for my cramps.
Dear People who say the music teens listen to nowadays is crap,
1/3 of my ipod is filled with The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Herman's Hermits, Michael Jackson, Queen, Smash Mouth and M. C. Hammer
Sincerely, I don't like it that much either
Dear TI-84 calculator,
Please don't have a secret history of all of the absurd calculations I've typed.
Sincerely, I typed in 14+6 the other day.
Dear Grey's Anatomy,
Whenever someone says, "Do you know where so and so is?", so and so is always either dead or having sex.
Sincerely, I've figured you out.
Dear girl that tries to hold hands with my boyfriend,
You have your boyfriend and I have mine.
Sincerely, Stick with yours, and we'll both be fine!
Dear fellow Americans,
At an airport, a man had to strip down to his boxers- to reveal the fourth amendment written on his chest. (The right of the people to be secure against unreasonable searches and seizures shall note be violated)...... The TSA arrested him for "disorderly conduct".
Sincerely, Concerned.
Dear Doctor,
Let's make a deal, you stop telling me to "drop a bit of weight" and I'll not mention that you've had 5 different receptionists in the last two years because you keep hitting on them.
Sincerely, We both need to change our lifestyles.
Dear everyone,
I'm mute. Not deaf.
Sincerely, there is no need to shout
Dear friends,
I will give you $200 when I'm dead to change my Facebook status to "Chillin' with Jesus!"
Sincerely, I beg you!
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high
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