Please keep singing in the shower, you're a hit on Youtube
You're adorable, but please stop stepping on me while I'm lying down.
Sincerely, Ow! Not the boob!
Dear guy cussing his friend out,
Let's return to the ways of Shakespeare, shall we?
Sincerely, thou art a gleeking, flap-mouthed cankerblossom!
Dear Ron Weasly,
No, there is not a potion that can cure ginger.
Dear overweight boyfriend,
You have boobs too...
Sincerely, play with your own.
Dear Weight Watchers,
You do realize your building is between a McDonald's and a donut place, right?
Sincerely, I'm not getting any skinnier
Please don't get mad at me, your the one that told me to get a job.
Sincerely, I'm on 16 and Pregnant
Need an ark?
Sincerely, I Noah guy
I'm am not calling you a slut, but there are a lot of new people all over your equipment lately.
Sincerely, tired of sweaty seconds.
Please stop playing Peek-A-Boo. You're really not fooling anyo... WHAT!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!!
Sincerely, Surprised 1 year old
Dear person who asked if my stomach just growled,
No, there is a tiny lion in my stomach that got really angry all of a sudden and growled.
Sincerely, what do you think?
Please come home. We haven't seen you in weeks and you're off your medication. We never should have given you that monkey.
Sincerely, your worried parents
Dear person who came up with hugs,
Was the very first hug really creepy?
Sincerely, It must have been like "What are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me."
Dear Oxygen and Potassium,
Congrats on getting married. It may be none of my Bismuth, but your wedding wasn't great, it was OK.
Sincerely, a chemistry major.