Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Sincerely, supposed to be a mommy...
Please send my regards to global warming. Karma's a b****.
Please stop going in bars when you're underage... or at least, go in another bar!!! You're not supposed to see me like this!
Sincerely, a 25 year-old teacher who goes in bars and is tired of running into students!
Students give you apples for a reason.
Sincerely, Snow White
Dear people asking math teachers "when will I ever need this?!",
When you're buying 68.5 cantaloupes and your friend Joe steals 1/3 of them and you need to know how many he stole, duh.
Sincerely, now that is a life skill!
Dear boy who just said to me "are you wearing space pants because your butt is out of this world",
No, I'm wearing softball pants, because my butt is WAY out of your league.
Sincerely, look on your face was priceless.
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
When you said that I suck, did you mean it in a good way or a bad way?
Sincerely, your vacuum
Do you REALLY want us all to look like Barbie?
Sincerely, last I checked, she doesn't have a vagina...
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Sincerely, you said what all of us were thinking
Dear Prince Charming,
Five more minutes...
Sincerely, Sleeping Beauty
Dear power outage,
Thank you for ending when I said lumos
Sincerely, my friends think I'm a wizard
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Sincerely, still want that sandwich?
I will find you...
Sincerely, Hand Sanitizer
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Sincerely, your daughter with a mouth like a sailor