I appreciate your enthusiasm, but no one needs to watch movies that loudly at three thirty in the morning.
Sincerely, Now that I'm awake, can I come watch Hitch with you?
Dear "Long distance relationships don't work",
Please don't say that in front of military girlfriends/boyfriends, fiances, and spouses.
Sincerely, They deserve support not ridicule.
Dear man on the street,
Please reconsider the claim that you're "making my day" by spewing sexist slurs as I pass. I am worth so much more than my body. I am beauty, I am ancestry, I am faults and flaws and hunger. I am both woman and person, and I am not here for your pleasure.
Dear Fellow Classmates,
Please realize that I'm not gay because I'm in marching band, I'm gay because I prefer men over women.
Sincerely, I still have more sex than you.
Dear, Waiter @ Apple Bee's,
Thank you for singing material girl when it came on the radio you officially made my night
Sincerely, amused costumer
Dear Folks who wear make-up,
All in favor of changing the name from make-up to war-paint, say aye.
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Sincerely, a gal from the Middle Ages.
Unless your S/O has cheated on you, or you have definite reason to suspect he or she is, you NEVER have any right to check their phone, email, or social media.
Sincerely, that's how breakups happen
Dear "woman against feminism",
Please don't call yourselves anti-feminist if you vote, drive or have received an education.
Sincerely, the African girl who cannot attend school because education is only for the males of my community.
Dear girls who "just love this new perfume!",
We should be able to smell it... Not taste it
Sincerely, everyone else
Dear Mozzy the Cat,
Please feel free to sit on my face as a sign that it's time for your breakfast, I don't need to breathe anyway.
Sincerely, nothing like the smell of your arse first thing in the morning.
Dear face wash ads,
Please know that people don't actually splash their face like that!
Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet!
Dear people who put unnecessary commas in the middle of their sentences,,
Please realise that is not, where they go.
Sincerely, 3rd grade grammar.
Please, do you really expect me to believe you made my ear bleed on purpose...
Sincerely, I may just be 15 but come on, I'm not THAT stupid.