Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear world,
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing zone in a swimming pool.
Dear Sophomores,
It's the first day of school, and you're trashing the freshmen.
Dear little brother,
If the teachers ask if you're my brother, say no.
Dear girl who plays Lady Gaga on her flute,
I play Ke$ha on my oboe.
Dear Princess,
Sorry it took soooooo long to find you. Everywhere we looked there were pipes and mushrooms. I'm pretty sure we were stoned the whole time!
Dear creators of the Glee Project,
So to audition I must be older than 18? That means I have to be out of high school to play a convincing high school student.
Dear cell phone companies,
I guess you and I have a different understanding of what "unlimited" means.
Dear opposite sex,
Y U NO LIKE ME?!
Dear Tom Marvolo Riddle,
Please tell me how long it took you to get "I Am Lord Voldemort" from your muggle name.
Dear ER doctor,
When you ask me if there is any chance that I'm pregnant, and I say no, there's no need to make me pee in a cup to make sure.
Dear little kid texting,
I used to text in class when I was in second grade too!
Dear Movie Directors,
Do you ever read the books your movie is ''based on?"
Dear 30 tabs and counting,
One of you is playing music...
Dear World,
If a bra is called an "over the shoulder boulder holder," then what is mens underwear called?
Dear Grandpa,
The correct response to "You need a hearing aid" is not "I don't have a feather in my hat."
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