If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Sincerely, yeah, I'm dating my lab partner, that's what we want to hear.
Dear guy in the car next to me,
Thanks for blowing me a kiss even though it was a little creepy.
Sincerely, made my day anyway.
I know you want me. You want to suck me, and blow me, and feel my delicious liquid go into your mouth. I'm ready.
Sincerely, a straw.
Dear little sister who rides horses,
I'm more of a "save a horse, ride a cowboy" kind of girl.
Sincerely, your male instructor is very hot!
We wore our pants like that first!
Sincerely, a very angry plumber.
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Sincerely, doesn't do "forgiveness" well.
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
Please respond when I answer the phone and say "Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?"
Dear Washington D.C.,
Calm down, it was just an earthquake. These things happen.
Sincerely, Los Angeles.
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Sincerely, wearing a strapless dress.
If I watch the movie backwards, it tells the story of a decorated war hero who goes back home to get a sex change.
Sincerely, next I'm trying trying Lion King!
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Sincerely, confused and slightly concerned.
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, just had a heart attack.
It's 'cuz I'm black, isn't it?
Sincerely, a neglected blackboard.