Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
Dear government providing benefits,
I am thankful for the unemployment benefit, and I guarantee you I'm not intending to scam you or just live on the benefit forever. I do want to be employed and independent. But I spent 5 years doing shitty (literally, even cleaning public toilets) jobs while studying, giving me the motivation to never do these jobs again. And when I cannot find a job in my field, I want to work jobs that can give me experience or promotions. I WILL NOT take a cleaning job, just because its the first job on offer. In fact, that will be my last resort.
Dear mother,
Please understand that I am struggling to become the adult society wants me to be, and not the child you want me to stay...
Dear black customer,
You dropped and cracked a jar of jam at the counter and wanted to put it back. I politely told you that you had to buy it because you damaged it. You called me racist and said I was trying to force sub-par goods on black people. Don't you know that if *any* customer damages something, they have to buy it? You're one of the rudest, most stupid customers I've ever met.
Dear pants,
Your timing is impeccable. Did you really have to split down the back RIGHT before my in-laws walked in? I don't think they wanted to see that.
Dear ex best friend,
Please stop saying you did nothing wrong and sending your friends to attack me. You told my stalker ex everything and made out with him.
Dear former friend,
Please don't invent rumors about me just because one of your other friends got in trouble for sending me to the hospital.
Dear best friend's parents,
Please don't call me asking for our boss's number and tell me it's because she's really sick and in the hospital then NOT TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE OR ANSWER ANY OF MY TEXTS OR CALLS! What hospital? What happened?
Dear lady at my graduation,
The hijab fit quite well under the cap. And I'm not much of a fashion maven, but I think it went well with the master's degree hood.
Dear voting Americans,
Please realize that a write-in for Bernie is essentially a vote for Trump
Dear Local Psychologists,
Remember, someone had to take you on as a training student so you could get your degree and license. Start repaying the favor.
Dear university,
I get that you want to charge us for printing. I get that its a prepay system. But please be more lenient. Giving a low balance warning at $5 is quite high, and nothing after means we may forget that we fell below $5. And then when we get below $0, you don't let us print, but with no message as to why. Always when we really need to print something right now. Surely you can implement a billing system or even an IOU option for when we're desperate?
Dear Primary voters,
Please don't vote at my high school, then go outside and hold up a Ted Cruz sign, stopping anyone thats coming to pick up their children from afterschool activities. There are 2 girls from Palestine in front of you. Go back to your "doomsday bunker" down by the river.
Dear people who think that all Catholic priests are evil.,
Please stop. There are TONS of amazing, inspiring, and very religious priests out there. Stop judging and get over it.
Dear Self-concious awkward Teenager,
Please understand that you are wonderful. Acne will go away, fake-friends will be found (and gotten rid of) and that person you like isn't an untouchable god. Love yourself, and love others more. Compliment people and help them, even the Aholes- sometimes they need it most. Someone loves you, open your eyes and believe them. Just 20 seconds of insane courage.
Dear everyone (but particularly boys with girlfriends),
If your significant other sends you nudes, DONT EVER SHOW ANYONE ELSE. If someone is comfortable sending you pictures, you should not disrespect that trust and violate their privacy by showing anyone else. And if you post them on the Internet without their consent, then you are absolute scum and they deserve so much better than you.