Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear attractive boy wearing socks and sandals,
WHY?!
Dear boyfriend,
Now that you work at Subway, you can make ME a sammich.
Dear OCD,
I'd like you a lot more if you were CDO...
Dear guy I have had a crush on since 6th grade,
No, you cannot suddenly like me now. It does not work that way.
Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable ,
So is child birth...
Dear yoga pants,
You're comfortable AND you make my butt look great?
Dear wind,
Thank you making me feel like Marilyn Monroe.
Dear world,
Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope. What are you going to do when I die?!
Dear animal crackers,
I still bite your heads off first...
Dear teachers,
So the bell determines whether we are on time or tardy, but we can't be dismissed by the bell?
Dear alarm clock,
It might be you they hit on, but it's me they're sleeping with.
Dear "are you guys twins?",
No, she was adopted.
Dear Prince Charming,
I'm sending you a map to my house. I assume you got lost?
Dear policeman who pulled me over,
Not every teenager drinks. Some of us still enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
Dear guys walking behind me,
Yes, I have headphones on but I'm not deaf.
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