Please explain why you have Charlie's old wand.
Sincerely, Why the hell did Charlie need a new wand when his old one still worked?
Dear Facebook friends,
Please stop sending me candy crush and farmville invites. NOBODY PLAYS THEM ANYMORE
Sincerely, All of Facebook
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Sincerely, A "heterophobic" gay
I just realised 'mother of pearl' is called that because it comes from oyster shells. Literally the mother's of pearls.
Sincerely, Did everyone else already know?
Please tell me why you always complain your exhausted and then waste energy on stupid things we don't need?
Sincerely, Like growing weird little nipple hairs I pluck off anyway
Dear so called 'sluts',
Congratulations on your self belief. Don't let anyone degrade you.
Sincerely, decent people everywhere
Dear Gun Toting Americans,
Please realise that everyone else is sick of you acting shocked every time there's a mass shooting.
Sincerely, countries who don't think citizens need assault rifles
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sad.
Sincerely, saying 'It's my version of a cappuccino' just makes it worse
Dear girl/boy who said they were embarrassed about not having a boyfriend at 15,
Please, don't even sweat it babe. I'm 17 and haven't had my first kiss yet.
Sincerely, you think you've been waiting alone?!
Dear Self Defence Instructor,
No matter how much peril I am in, I am not going to "grab and rip" someone's groin.
Sincerely, no. Just no.
Dear "Virgins are like unicorns!!!!",
Sincerely, are you sure about that one?
Your Grandmother is a blast-ended skank.
Sincerely, I mean every word I ever say because I'm Harry Potter
I filled out a job application for you and suddenly my inbox is being spammed like crazy. Seriously, how classless of you using job applications to get peoples' e-mails to sell to scam websites.
Sincerely, never going to Macy's again
Dear Angry People,
Please note that you cannot 'steal' someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. Not unless you think people are property.
Sincerely, save most of your anger for the cheaters.
Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Sincerely, Yeah guns being used to commit genocide is great