Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear kid tripping over his pants,
Did a famous rapper die and you have to wear your pants at half-mast?
Dear girl wearing a white dress to prom,
I am taking you to prom and not to the alter, right?
Dear Harry,
It's a good thing we're not related, because your name would be Harry Longbottom.
Dear French teacher,
No, conjugating that feminine verb in a masculine form is not incorrect.
Dear college scholarships,
Gingers are minorities.
Dear World,
They say good men are hard to find.
Dear boyfriend,
Please realize that you may wear the pants in the relationship, but i control the zipper.
Dear bra,
You give me all the support I will ever need.
Dear neighbor,
I'm not getting laid right now! You have such a dirty mind...
Dear America,
We used to be unicorns before we started eating fast food. Consider yourself warned...
Dear peoplewhotalklikethisallthetime,
Can you not find the spacebar?
Dear Snooki,
Get back to work!
Dear girls on my track team,
Please stop complaining about how small your boobs are.
Dear relatives,
Please stop telling me, "you're next" at weddings.
Dear world,
If at first you do not succeed, then you are not me.
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