Dear Jack the Ripper,
We all have the same middle name!
Sincerely, Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Winnie the Pooh.
Dear "D" in "Disney",
Wait... You're not a "G?"
Sincerely, kids confused by cursive.
Dear guy who invited me over to watch a Harry Potter movie,
Oh, you wanted to hook up the whole time?
Sincerely, you should have picked Twilight...
Dear Comfort Inn,
I got five hours of sleep on your lumpy and springy matress last night.
Sincerely, change your name!
Please stop playing tampon, Pamprin, Nuva Ring, and other vaginal related commercials while I'm watching a movie on tv with my dad, he starts getting really squirmy.
Sincerely, every teenage girl.
Dear bag of chips,
Sincerely, is that sarcasm?
Dear boy who thinks I have commitment issues,
Sincerely, I just don't like you.
Dear Mark Twain,
Thank you for being the funniest man to ever walk the planet!
Sincerely, I believe God created humans because He was dissappointed in monkeys.
If you do the robot is it still called the robot, or just dancing?
Sincerely, deep thoughts, very deep thoughts.
Dear sex scenes in movies,
Wow that spot on the floor is very interestng!
Dear sex ed teachers,
Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.
Sincerely, The Virgin Mary.
Dear TLC channel,
Thanks for airing the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant."
Sincerely, now, as long as I am over weight I will always be wondering if I am actually just pregnant...
Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Sincerely, your stylish AND smart daughter.
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Sincerely, welcome to 6th period English.