Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear cell phone companies,
I guess you and I have a different understanding of what "unlimited" means.
Dear opposite sex,
Y U NO LIKE ME?!
Dear Tom Marvolo Riddle,
Please tell me how long it took you to get "I Am Lord Voldemort" from your muggle name.
Dear ER doctor,
When you ask me if there is any chance that I'm pregnant, and I say no, there's no need to make me pee in a cup to make sure.
Dear little kid texting,
I used to text in class when I was in second grade too!
Dear Movie Directors,
Do you ever read the books your movie is ''based on?"
Dear 30 tabs and counting,
One of you is playing music...
Dear World,
If a bra is called an "over the shoulder boulder holder," then what is mens underwear called?
Dear Grandpa,
The correct response to "You need a hearing aid" is not "I don't have a feather in my hat."
Dear annoying girl in the locker room,
I don't care if we're all girls, I still don't enjoy seeing you whip out your double Ds for the world to see.
Dear cashier,
Yes, I'm perfectly aware that all of the self- checkout lines are open. I just came here to see your reaction.
Dear little brother,
The next time that bully asks you for you lunch money, tell him you left it on his mother's dresser.
Dear paycheck,
OM NOM NOM.
Dear girls,
If your boyfriend wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs... send him to KFC.
Dear natzi feminist teacher,
How did she get an A, and I only got a C...?
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