Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear easy open tab,
Is that sarcasm?
Dear "bring a quiet reading book to class",,
Umm, aren't all books quiet?
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Dear Chinese women painting my nails,
Is it really that shocking that I have a wedding ring?
Dear person who sent me a package with colored bubble wrap,
I was being so productive!
Dear teacher who told me to use the bathroom during lunch,
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THEN!
Dear best friend staring at me in disbelief,
Yes, I do have a 4.0 grade point average, and yes, I am tied for first in the class rankings.
Dear "Money can't buy you happiness",
I guess you've never bought a puppy then..
Dear man in the next stall,
Coughing and farting at the same time? Really?
Dear little sister ,
You're going places kid...
Dear food falling to the floor,
Little germs: "GET IT!! King Germ: "NO! WE wait 5 seconds."
Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
Dear mom who got a puppy so I would come home for vacations,
Best. Bribery. Ever.
Dear colorblind friend,
Thank you for posting about the awkward moment when you thought you solved your rubix cube.
Dear Cupcakes,
Oh please, you just have makeup on...
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