Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Jack the Ripper,
We all have the same middle name!
Dear "D" in "Disney",
Wait... You're not a "G?"
Dear guy who invited me over to watch a Harry Potter movie,
Oh, you wanted to hook up the whole time?
Dear Comfort Inn,
I got five hours of sleep on your lumpy and springy matress last night.
Dear TV,
Please stop playing tampon, Pamprin, Nuva Ring, and other vaginal related commercials while I'm watching a movie on tv with my dad, he starts getting really squirmy.
Dear bag of chips,
"Open Here."
Dear boy who thinks I have commitment issues,
I don't.
Dear Mark Twain,
Thank you for being the funniest man to ever walk the planet!
Dear robot,
If you do the robot is it still called the robot, or just dancing?
Dear sex scenes in movies,
Wow that spot on the floor is very interestng!
Dear sex ed teachers,
Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.
Dear TLC channel,
Thanks for airing the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant."
Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Dear Facebook,
I wish you had to pass a sobriety test to login.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US