Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear boy making fun of my Dora bandaid,
I just insulted you in five languages.
Dear kids in elementary school,
Please go outside and actually DO something! You will have enough time to be addicted to electronics when you are older. Use your imagination or play hide and seek.
Dear softball,
You're really not all that soft, are you?
Dear Chinese guy in the seat next to me,
I like your tattoo.
Dear math geeks,
Making math jokes is the first sine of your geekiness
Dear Taylor Swift and Bruno Mars,
Please get together then break up.
Dear iTunes users,
I have read the terms and conditions...there is nothing funny hidden in them.
Dear World,
I would just like to inform you that, the first book Dr. Seuss ever illustrated was named Boners. Its sequel? More Boners. And yes these are childrens books.
Dear girl in my class,
"What's an IQ?"
Dear "two wrongs don't make a right",
Two negatives equal a positive...
Dear Millionares,
If you haven't got trampolines as floors and a giant slide from your bed to your swimming pool, then give me your money because you are doing it wrong.
Dear teen drivers,
Remember, kids in the back seat cause accidents...
Dear people complaining about the new facebook layout,
Mark Zuckerburg screwed over his classmates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on his new layout?
Dear most teenage guys,
Flies spread disease.
Dear boyfriends everywhere,
Don't even dare think about breaking eye contact when the blonde waitress comes to take our order...
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