Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear best friend,
I remember when you were quiet and shy.
Dear Dora ,
My bag holds more stuff than yours does and doesn't talk back...
Dear flat chested girls,
I'd gladly give you a cup-size or two.
Dear "Which came first the chicken or the egg?",
In the summer of 2010, a group of british scientists discovered that the protein that created the eggshell, ovocledidin-17, was only found in chickens; proving that the chicken came first.
Dear guy I like,
You walked me to my locker, you walked me to my locker, you walked me to my locker!
Dear slutty girl in my class,
Please wear a skirt long enough to cover your neon green thong.
Dear older brother,
Please don't tell my hot date you have a shotgun, shovel, and 200 acres.
Dear teacher,
Please know that if we can't wear that due to dress code then you shouldn't be able to either.
Dear friends,
Yes, my boyfriend is 6 months younger than me.
Dear kid telling me to stop being such a nerd,
I saw the grade on your paper.
Dear people of the modern world,
Please forgive us for not finishing our calander. We were kind of distracted by the Europeans killing us.
Dear college,
I know you really want all the loans paid off... do you mind if I pay you in gum?
Dear Political Science teacher,
Thank you for allowing laptops in class.
Dear people who cannot spell,
Please note that there is a big difference between "sweet pea" and "sweat pee."
Dear girls,
When we can see your pockets coming out of the bottom of your shorts... that's when you should realize you're not actually wearing shorts.
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