Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear weight loss commercials,
Lets face it, "That pesky stomach fat" isn't the first to go... we are.
Dear boyfriend,
I'm not really scared of spiders, I just feel loved knowing you'd protect me from even the smallest villain.
Dear Hollywood,
There are tons of books I hate. Make movies about them?
Dear person who overheard my conversation,
I am not racist. I was talking about jelly beans.
Dear high school girls,
When I see lingerie at Victoria's Secret that looks exactly like your homecoming dress, there's a problem.
Dear headache,
I know what your trying to tell me...
Dear nosy girl asking me when I was born,
On my birthday.
Dear cellphones,
Thanks for ruining the fun of pushing people into pools.
Dear nose,
Please tell me the point in you even having hair.
Dear overly large cricket that caused me to run out of my dorm room screaming,
Thank you!
Dear Hollywood,
So you're re-releasing Star Wars, The Titanic, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Monsters inc., AND Finding Nemo?
Dear weight loss ad,
Wow! Not only does your diet plan make people look thinner, but it changes their race and age too!
Dear friend,
During our sleepovers, can you please let me know when you're going to sleep?
Dear people who tease me for reading for fun,
I was able to slack off and not read the story when it was given to us as assignment yesterday because I read two years ago for fun.
Dear bed,
I really can't stay.
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