Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Waldo,
Care to join us?
Dear pet cat,
Thank you for taking a bite out of my unwrapped McDouble and giving me a literal icanhazcheezburger moment!
Dear Catherine of Aragon,
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no heir.
Dear geometry,
Thank you for preparing me for the time when I'll have to figure out the lengths of the mid-segments of an isosceles triangle.
Dear psychiatrist,
The other day, I had this CRAZY dream...
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear people who check behind the shower curtain,
At least when I do it, I have a baseball bat in hand.
Dear freshly polished coffee table,
Spinning around on my stomach has never been so fun!
Dear sandwich,
Sorry you got put in the middle of this.
Dear girl who I saw wearing my clothes that I left on the bus,
Yeah, that's creepy.
Dear dad,
Yep...You caught me...I'm actually a Wiccan.
Dear unicorns,
There can only be one.
Dear floor,
I missed you!
Dear math,
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Dear mom,
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
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