Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear whores in my school,
Does your dad see you before you go off to school in the morning?
Dear brother,
Please learn to aim for the toilet or else I will start leaving my tampon wrappers on the sink.
Dear Shake Weight,
This feels oddly familiar...
Dear people who don't know difference between knowledge and wisdom,
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Dear loving boyfriend,
Thank you for understanding that if you want me, you have to put up with my childish antics too.
Dear upstairs neighbors,
Do you wear 500 lb weights on your feet when you walk around?
Dear teachers,
Sometimes I swear you conspire against me.
Dear cat that just ran in front of my car,
You're lucky I too have cat like reflexes.
Dear period,
GO AWAAAAAAAYYYY!
Dear teacher who just gave me a 98 on that essay,
I wrote it this morning.
Dear Juice Box Companies,
Please make teenager sized juice boxes.
Dear Housing Department,
Look, I just moved in and absolutely love my house, but I keep getting all of these random letters and unexpected visitors looking for some fish. Any way I could get an address change?
Dear Teachers,
Could you tune it down a bit?
Dear cute boy who kissed his mom on the cheek,
Just know that every girl in the store wants you now.
Dear little brother,
Please stop telling me "we're in America" every time I practice my Spanish out loud. I've seen your Language Arts grades; you hardly understand English.
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