Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear adorable British boyfriend,
In America we drive on the right side of the road...
Dear jock in my history class,
Thank you for saying, "but I'm on my period!" when the teacher wouldn't let you go to the restroom.
Dear world,
Step one: buy some glow sticks and bubbles. Step two: break the glow sticks in the bubble solution.
Dear Homecoming date,
You won the dance off, made friends with everyone, and shocked everyone when you weren't crowned homecoming King.
Dear person who toilet papered my neighbors house,
You just made my day.
Dear Blue from Blue's Clues,
Woah, woah, woah! So let me get this straight! You're a GIRL!? And Magenta is a BOY?!
Dear parents shopping for Christmas,
Please remember: just because your three year old grandson wants the Lion King on blue ray doesn't mean that your twenty-five year old daughter doesn't want the exact same thing.
Dear boys,
Dicks should be in your pants... Not in your personality.
Dear extremely rude lady that just came through my check-out lane,
Do you realize you just paid with a check and I now have your address?
Dear baby,
You've kicked me, cracked my ribs, made me fat, given me Flinstone feet, made me vomit on numerous occasions, given me mood swings, made me tempermental towards everyone around me, and you've been putting me through 14 hours of hard, manual labour.
Dear MATH,
You stand for Mental Abuse to Humans, right?
Dear middle schoolers,
If you can't say the word sex without laughing then you probably aren't old enough to have it
Dear 11 empty handicapped spots,
This is an indoor rock climbing gym.
Dear world,
I discovered something even better than colored bubble wrap.
Dear Flight Attendant,
Thank you for saying Wingardium Leviosa when the plane took off.
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