Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Edward and Jacob,
I have to tell you two setting important... I recently found this out... I'm... A lesbian
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Dear runner,
Yes, I see you checking yourself out in the shop windows.
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Dear two-ply toilet paper,
I guess it's true. You don't really know what you have until it's gone.
Dear writers of The Lion King,
About that "Cats always land on their feet" thing...
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Dear chemistry teacher,
Whats Ba+Na2 synthesize into?
Dear super hot male teacher trying to teach about reproduction,
Is this as awkward for you as it is for us?
Dear Kim Kardashian,
Please realize that my career on Dancing With the Stars lasted longer then your marriage.
Dear dog,
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Dear Carrie Underwood,
We give you props, but next time maybe you shouldn't carve your name in the seats. It's a dead giveaway.
Dear "soap-free" soap,
Huh?
Dear world,
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
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