Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear guy who told me to "send pics" of my slumber party,
Here's a picture of a girl with no makeup, her hair up, in sweatpants and a T-shirt. And yes, we're watching Finding Nemo.
Dear crush,
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?
Dear wife,
When I told you I knew you were cheating, I meant on your diet...
Dear over-protective parents,
You really should have thought it through when you said "No boys in the room!"
Dear person who took the hall pass,
Do you have ANY idea how bad I have to pee?!
Dear Noah,
Never mind. We caught the Hogwarts Express instead.
Dear guy staring at me,
Yes, I'm playing Pokemon. Yes, I'm also pretty.
Dear sneezes,
Why do you happen at the worst times?
Dear pillow,
Sorry for all the, drool while I sleep, tears when I'm sad, punches when I'm angry, and times I used you to hit others...
Dear highschool,
It's nice that you bought every single one of the our rooms a 10,000 dollar smart board projector, but I would have much rather had air conditioning.
Dear gay guys,
We straight guys are sometimes mean to you, but it is only because you can drink those fruity beverages at a bar without judgment.
Dear cute boy,
Sorry for your bloody nose. But to be fair, I DID warn you not to tickle me...
Dear foreign host family,
Really, I promise, the problem is not that I can't hear you, it's that I can't understand you.
Dear computer,
Life is too short to safely remove USB.
Dear easy open tab,
Is that sarcasm?
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