Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear girl who keeps taking mirror pics,
It loses its effect when your Super Jumbo Tampons box is in clear view.
Dear guys,
Yeah, I get it. You don't want the cake makeuped, half plastic, plucked, waxed, tanned and dyed chicks that are faking themselves up for attention. You want some chick that naturally looks like that.
Dear english teacher who just told me that Harry Potter isn't "written well",
How about YOU write a book "well" and we'll see how popular it is.
Dear schools,
Why is it that the classrooms are so cold? My iPod can't register the nonexistent heat of my fingers... Oh wait...
Dear parents,
So Santa has the same wrapping paper as us, the same handwriting as you, and an elf named China that makes most of the toys?
Dear girls,
Please stop mistaking our flirting for kindness.
Dear Phineas and Ferb,
Don't worry, when we make fun of Disney Channel, that obviously doesn't include you.
Dear Dora,
How do you get that T-shirt to fit over your head?
Dear guys in the friend zone and like a brother zone,
You think YOU have it bad?!
Dear 7-year-old cousin,
Yes I'm serious, they don't have recess in college.
Dear girl in my biology class,
Yes, I'm pale. Yes, I have above average grades. Yes, I occasionally miss school. Yes, I rarely speak. No, I am not a damn vampire!
Dear kids who make fun of me because I am adopted,,
My parents got to choose me. Your parents got stuck with you...
Dear squidward,
I don't get it, you get out of the shower and have a towel around your lower half. But when you get dressed you only have a shirt on.
Dear people telling me to listen to my heart,
I tried that. Turns out my heart is a mass of muscle and cannot speak.
Dear math,
I used to like you; then you hooked up with the alphabet.
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