Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear world,
You don't have to worry about the world ending in 2012. Phil of the Future came back from 2121.
Dear Romeo,
I was just taking a power nap.
Dear serial killer,
Well played...
Dear Bruno Mars,
Wouldn't YOUR eyes have to be open to know that hers were?
Dear musicians,
For the love of all that's holy - stop putting sirens in your music!
Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Dear girls,
The silent treatment isn't really a punishment.
Dear jerk,
I didn't slap you. I gave you a flatbread knuckle sandwich.
Dear teacher who says "don't get arrested" every Friday when the bell rings,
Oops...
Dear Canada,
How come you're always on top?
Dear women,
Don't worry about magazines telling you you're fat; porn sites tell us we need penis enlargements all the time.
Dear world,
Want to hear a joke about a vegetable?
Dear person in movie who is being chased by a rolling boulder.,
Don't run in front of it! Just run to the side! It won't kill you if you're not in from of it!
Dear students,
If it wasn't already obvious, we seat you next to the person you'd look best with.
Dear guy in the car next to me,
Thanks for blowing me a kiss even though it was a little creepy.
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