Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear neighbors blasting rap,
This means war.
Dear Jersey Shore Cameramen,
Do you ever want to stop filming and just punch them in the face?
Dear Mom,
How come you can't hear me yell a question but the moment I murmer a cuss word you can hear it from two rooms away?
Dear all the girls at Hogwarts,
Don't mind me, I'm just gonna go grow up to be super hot and a bad-a. But that's cool, you can make fun of me.
Dear Trig Class,
Thanks for being right next to the music appreciation class.
Dear Monsters Inc.,
....well this is awkward.
Dear Love,
People say they can't live without you. I personally think I'm more important
Dear person who said "can the sarcasm",,
Please. I use fresh sarcasm. Never canned.
Dear "teams",
There is no team Edward, no team Jacob, no team Potter, no team Gale or Peeta. There isn't even a team guy who almost hit Bella with a car.
Dear Other Majors,
We're not analyzing you . . . ok, maybe a little.
Dear movie theater usher,
What's in my bag you ask? Oh just my convenient Pocket Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment IV, which happens to state that I have the right not to be searched without a warrant. Hm. Convenient.
Dear dad,
Did you really just ask me if I wanted to go spin donuts in the local grocery store parking lot at 9 at night?
Dear guy asking me if I'm listening to music,
No, I'm rocking out to an audiobook on the mating habits of the Canadian goose.
Dear omg Wut r u Gona get me 4 Xmas?,
A fricken dictionary.
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