Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear crush,
No, I'm not Facebook stalking you. I'm doing character research in case I get to make a movie of my life and you're are in it.
Dear guys at the beach,
Just because you're wearing shiny sunglasses doesn't mean I can't tell where your face is pointed.
Dear teacher,
Please understand that I don't call you "Professor" to show respect. I do it because it makes me feel like Harry Potter.
Dear McDonalds,
Are you seriously asking if I have any job experience?
Dear Powell Middle School,
So do your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Dear three impossibilities of the world,
Can't count your hair, can't wash your eyes with soap, and can't stick out your tongue and breathe out of your mouth...
Dear Mom,
"I was at work all day!" is not a valid excuse to make me do stuff for you.
Dear judgmental people,
Why yes, I did just leave the high school parking lot blaring the Pokemon theme song out of my car.
Dear homophobic boss,
If being gay is such a disease, can I call in sick for the rest of my life?
Dear little brother who opens my mail,
Jokes on you! It's tampon samples!
Dear Sorting Hat,
Is lice ever a problem?
Dear hipsters and emos,
I was a tortured poet before it was cool.
Dear Microsoft Word,
If there was only one spelling suggestion, why didn't you just change it for me?
Dear religious nut,
If you knew the baby would turn out to be gay, then would you approve abortion?
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
While I accomplished saving my entire country from one of the toughest armies in the world, you accomplished... sleeping...
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US