Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Sincerely, I'll pick you up at seven.
If your pants were up, you might have gotten away.
Sincerely, over-weight cop who caught you tripping
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Sincerely, never looking out the window again
How do mermaids reproduce?
Sincerely, lets think logically about this....
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Sincerely, bad puns.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear air freshener,
"Do not spray directly onto throat "
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Sincerely, What's that? You changed your' mind??
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
Dear guy at the gym,
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Sincerely, Tired of Untangling