Dear shower water,
Please decide between the Artic ocean and Satan's butthole.
Sincerely, cowering in the corner, not strong enough to run back through and adjust you.
Dear Born-Again Grandmother,
Yes, I know he's a Wiccan and an Anarchist, but he's treating me better than any of my past boyfriends have. And yes, we're planning on getting married.
Sincerely, Just give him a try?
Dear People who write about Christians,
Public Service Announcement: Please realize that not all of us deny evolution, completely hate other religions, continuously hound other people to convert, and genearlly act like douchebags.
Sincerely, I've gotten a lot of laughs about what you think we believe.
Please stop coming out at strategic moments during my classmate's presentation on conspiracy theories!
Sincerely, no, I wasn't trying to mock your views!
Inside or outside. Make a choice.
Sincerely, your frustrated owner.
Dear Professor X,
Please don't try to find me. I've changed my name and moved to Middle Earth. I've got my hands full with Hobbits.
Sincerely lines are not to be used as a second body for your post.
Sincerely, Dear Black Please Blank User
The girl you called fat? She's comfortable with how she looks and weighs. The girl you tripped? Convinced all of her friends that you're a total jerk. The girl you called ugly? She doesn't care what you think. The girl you made fun of because she had a lot of scars? She made you listen for an hour about how she got all of them. The girl you made fun of because he was crying? She punched you right in the face. Me? Yeah, that was all me.
Sincerely, some one who is comfortable with themselves
Three years ago, I had surgery on both legs to attempt to correct plantar fasciitis. Yesterday, I ran a half marathon.
Sincerely, You can do anything.
Please consider dating the boy who threatened to castrate his friend unless he treats you well BEFORE you consider dating that friend!
Sincerely, Mom who loves you
Dear Valentine's Day,
Actually, violets are purple.
Sincerely, Roses are red...
Dear Romance movies,
STOP MAKING US LOOK BAD
Please know I love you and miss you, no matter how far away you are.
Sincerely, lonely but not alone
Dear Blind people,
Why do you walk your dogs soo much.