Dear judges on Toddlers and Tiaras,
So...you make a living...off of judging five year olds...on how good they look in mascara and bikinis?
Sincerely, you're worse than the moms
Oxygen and Magnesium? OMg!
Sincerely, bad chemistry jokes
Thanks for proving the stereotype wrong and making ME a sandwich in front of all of your fraternity brothers. Before we were even dating!
Sincerely, I always knew you were a good one!
Dear artsy girls on Facebook ,
Yes, I always find myself in an artsy place while wearing my best clothes and looking longingly off into the distance when a photographer pops up and takes my picture, which I then use as my profile picture.
Sincerely, how does that work?
Dear people complaining about racism,
I don't care if you're black, white, Asian or a giant purple dinosaur. So long as you respect me, I'll respect you!
Sincerely, racism wouldn't exist if you didn't fixate on people's skin tones
Dear guy embarrassed that his son wanted the Disney Princess coloring book instead of the Transformers one,
Sincerely, disappointed cashier.
Dear Spanish Teacher,
Please have us do a group project that requires us to work outside of school
Sincerely, the only girl in the group with five attractive guys
Dear Taylor Swift,
If you knew he was trouble when you walked in, why even bother?
You want us to take a test? Fine. Just give us back the one we took last week.
Sincerely, tired of your slow grading
Dear four year old niece,
Please don't ever stop wanting to be the Abominable snowman from Rudolph's best friend. Yes, I agree that he isn't a bad monster and all he needs is love.
Sincerely, your very proud aunt
Of course I won't watch tv all day downstairs
Sincerely, that's why Netflix is on my computer in my room
Please stop with the stares at a bald headed woman. You don't know what she went through.
Sincerely, have you never seen a cancer patient before?
Dear best friend,
Please understand that although we don't talk as much as we once did, it doesn't mean that we're not as close. Even though I've got more responsibilities now, and I don't have as much free time as high school, you'll always be a sister to me.
Sincerely, growing up doesn't necessarily mean growing apart.
Dear person who had their cellphone go off in class to the Kim Possible theme,
Sincerely, Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me