Dear random boners,
Stop. Just stop.
Sincerely, Guys Everywhere
We agreed before we started dating that we wouldn't have sex and wouldn't have an open relationship. And now I find that you've been sleeping with my sister and at least one other girl since less than a week after we started dating? And you think I should be okay with this?
Sincerely, your asexual ex-girlfriend
Yes you do have free speech. But that only means you cannot be punished or censored for your opinion. It does not mean you can say whatever, wherever, whenever. So when the police ask you to move off the road to stop blocking traffic, listen to them or you will be arrested. But not for your speech
Sincerely, you're being arrested for blocking traffic and resisting police
So according to you I'm racist because I don't like Indian food? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, I don't like curry or anything spicy?
Sincerely, how can anyone be as stupid as you?
Please stop being such LOSERS
Sincerely, Donald J. Trump
Why do we walk on two legs? We're wasting our arm muscles.
Sincerely, fellow human with dreams of a four-legged world
Dear mom who says I do nothing,
Please realize that I am doing something: Trying to fight off the wish to die. And you're not helping.
Sincerely, if you want me dead so badly, why don't you just do it yourself?
Please stop putting so much pressure on me and comparing me to everyone else. You make me hate this home and this family. Every time I come home there is more and more yelling. The one time I tell you both that I am feeling like shit and am honest to God trying as hard as I possibly can... telling me that "you're just not doing it right" is not going to make me feel any better. I have cut myself and at this point will not hesitate jumping in front of a car when I see it coming. I contemplate whether or not this makes me mentally insane or simply tired of your bullshit. I know it sounds harsh, but I can't pretend like I love you if the only thing I hear all the time is, "why can't you be better?"
Sincerely, your daughter who just doesn't know what to do anymore
Dear Donald Trump,
Next time you go for a spray tan, take off the goggles
Sincerely, Just saying
Dear Kids I babysit,
Please don't bug me to play the second I get there at 7 am
Sincerely, Your babysitter
You asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I said "just come spend time with me." Why am I not surprised that you texted asking to reschedule because of another of your friend's random parties?
Sincerely, I just wanted to spend time with you
Dear young teens,
Please stop talking and acting like you're grown. wait till you're 18 AND THEN mess up your life.
Sincerely, your annoyed classmate
Dear ex best friend,
Please understand that I am not trying to ignore you , but you abandoning me after I was raped really hurt and caused a lot of problems for me. I'm just trying to do what's best for me. I'm sorry.
Sincerely, your ex best friend who hopes you don't hate her
Dear ignorant neighbor,
Please stop taking your dog inside every time I let mine out. Yes, he's big. Yes, he's got a block head. Yes, his ears are cropped. And yes, he is a full blood pit bull. BUT he is no more dangerous than any other dog! Quit listening to biased media!!!!
Sincerely, tired owner of a snuggly, lick you to death pit