Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear teachers,
Please don't put "all of the above," under "none of the above," on a multiple choice test.
Dear girls picking on the muslim wearing a hijab,
I can't even see her hair, legs or arms and she's prettier than all of you.
Dear contacts,
Y U NO GO IN!
Dear grocery store designers,
Why is the chocolate syrup right next to the milk.... Oh.
Dear ignorant main landers,
Yes, here in Hawai'i we live in grass shacks on the beach and hula dance the day away. If you ever visit, you should meet my pet dolphin that I ride to school each morning. His name's Aa-looowww-haaa-kia-mo-mo-tit. You'd like him.
Dear uncooperative hair,
Why do you always look PERFECT right before I'm going to take a shower?
Dear hipsters,
Feathers in your hair? Moccasins on your feet! Really?
Dear world,
Please stop pretending we're the only ones who are fat.
Dear 6'2" and with a bottom locker,
I feel your pain.
Dear parents,
...I'm solar powered.
Dear people at my school who think I don't talk,
Just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I don't talk. Trust me you wouldn't like what I would say to you...
Dear Facebook,
Please make a "partner in crime" relationship option.
Dear scary movie I'm watching at my boyfriends house,
You don't scare me as much as eight missed calls from mom.
Dear gym manager,
Please choose a channel other than the food network to play in front of the treadmills.
Dear Snooki,
According to safety guidelines, you should still be in a car seat.
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