Dear mom,
So you can run away for five days and you expect us not to bug you but I try to spend one hour with my boyfriend and you send me 20 texts?
Dear Life,
Please stop trying to stamp on the only bit of self worth i have left because im tired of having to fight through each day.
Dear God,
She's 18 and about to graduate and go to college. I'm 16 and homeschooled and not really getting anywhere in life. Why did you have to go and make me fall for her?
Dear grown man wearing a Caesar costume and dancing to the backstreet boys,
Best. Latin teacher. EVER.
Dear best friend,
I overheard you getting advice from your dad about how you should ask me to be your boyfriend. I'll say yes no matter what you do but please don't sing me a song in public. You're so hot but musical talent isn't something you possess. Leave that to me.
Dear friend who incessantly reposts pictures on Facebook all day,
Congratulations, you've just won a one-way ticket off my news feed.
Dear world,
Please understand that not everybody in America is full of themselves. Some of us love our country but also realize that there is a lot wrong it.
Dear world,
Please know that it is not only singles who hate valentine's day.
Dear girls who caption their selfies with "I'm ugly",
It's a lot less desperate to just go up to a random person and say "tell me I'm pretty." If you actually thought you were ugly you wouldn't have posted that photo.
Dear overly controling boyfriend,
Please stop telling me I treak you like a toy when you do the same to me.
Dear mom and dad,
Those plane tickets you bought for me to go to homecoming where we just moved from is the only gift you need to give me this year.
Dear Nice Genuine Girls,
Either you are very good at hiding, or I am very bad at looking.
Dear best friend going through a potential breakup,
Do you want me to counsel you through this, or just buy the comfort chocolate? Because I'm 100% fine with either
Dear soon to be ex-roommate,
Please, before you call another girl a "spoiled little princess", kindly take a look at your $250 Ugg boots and the dishes that we continually have to wash for you.
Dear wisdom teeth,
I don't feel any less wise without you
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