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Dear Unicorns,
I thought you could fly.
Dear person talking shit in Swedish,
What makes you think you're the only Scandinave in America?
Dear Teacher who threaten female student of becoming housewives,
I find it hilarious.
Dear crush,
Roses are cool, violets are sub par, I know you don't love me......
Dear Dumbledore,
Why don't your students learn Latin?
Dear underwire bra,
Please don't snap under pressure.
Dear my job isn't as important as nurses or doctors,
I'm a hospital administrator, I run the hospital....
Dear Harry Potter,
I am the real saviour.
Dear 'Respect my opinions',
Your opinions degrade, humiliate and kill.
Dear straight guys everywhere,
Please don't think that I'm into threesomes (with you or anyone else) just because I'm bisexual!
Dear girl I like,
My finger slipped. I didn't mean to say "I think you're adora8ht895flhjdig759th02"
Dear Ron,
Please explain why you have Charlie's old wand.
Dear Facebook friends,
Please stop sending me candy crush and farmville invites. NOBODY PLAYS THEM ANYMORE
Dear Heterosexuals,
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Dear Reader,
I just realised 'mother of pearl' is called that because it comes from oyster shells. Literally the mother's of pearls.
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