If god isn't real then how did zip zop zoopity bop razzle dazzle jello pudding?
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
Dear Gay Rights Activists,
Please don't get pissed and lecture people who say "faggot" and then turn around and call black people "niggers."
Sincerely, a concerned individual
Dear "Bad Test Takers",
Please stop saying you're bad test takers. You're just stupid. You struggle with that part where we find out what you know?
Sincerely, Daniel Tosh
Dear Objectified Women,
Objectify means to "to present as an object." An object is defined as "a thing, person, or matter to which thought or action is directed." You might want to use a different word.
Sincerely, The Dictionary
Dear teens that sleep in past noon on the weekend,
Please don't complain when you have to get up at 9am. I have to get up at 5am on the weekend.
Sincerely, a swimmer that races every weekend during the summer
Dear one curious kid since five years old,
The "E" in "Chuck. E. Cheese" stands for Entertainment ^-^
Sincerely, teen girl who works there
Dear Michael Jackson,
I don't think Annie's okay.
Sincerely, a smooth criminal
Dear Rude Customer who yelled at me for there not being enough cashiers at the front of the store,
Please realize that as a stocker I have no control over what happens outside of stocking merchandise
Sincerely, Patience-tested Employee
Please don't barge into my room unannounced when I am finally figuring out how pleasant "alone" time can be
Sincerely, Newly Frustrated
Saying "You're the ugliest person I know." really doesn't work with you.
Sincerely, your identical twin sister
Dear Person driving their car really fast next to the curb in a torrential downpour,
Sincerely, Soaked pedestrian
Dear LGBT Community,
We fully support your pursuit of equal rights, however, please stop claiming that sexuality is something you are born with while your gender is a choice. It makes absolutely no sense.
Dear random guy at school,
Thanks for telling me I looked pretty today....
Sincerely, my ex-boyfriend never said that
Dear Guy at My Lunch Table,
I have my own opinions, too. Did you really have to mention I should kill myself?
Sincerely, I Went Home and Cried