Dear rude atheists,
Atheism is not a mark of higher intellect.
Dear fellow girls,
If you don't want periods to ruin your white pants, don't wear white pants around that time.
Dear owner,
When I cuddle with your foot while I'm asleep it means I'm hunting
Dear friend who is descended from african royality,
Just because you're black doesn't justify being mean to us, or telling us our problems don't exist, and we have "easy little lives." I have a severe disability (which actually does impact my job chances too), he is physically abused, and she is so poor she's about to be evicted. Intersectionality works as the cross-section between many different ways.
Dear Anonymous,
Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon. 10,000 volts went up it's arse and turned it's wool to nylon.
Dear neighbor,
Please , feel free to call the police to report me "attacking" your dog. I have a picture, on my phone, of your mutt biting my ankle and of the bite marks that got through my pants. I'd love to see that little rat get put down.
Dear amazing boyfriend,
Thank you for bringing me a chocolate frog. It means so much to me but I can't decide if I want to eat it or save it to hopefully show our kids some day
Dear roommate,
Who the hell stays up till 2 am studying math on a Friday night then wakes up at 7 am on a Saturday?
Dear "why doesn't Disney have interracial couples?" ,
Pocahontas and John Smith?
Dear popular girl,
Please accept my apology for never appreciating you before.
Dear friends,
Please stop joking about my boyfriend's and my sex life it's funny for 5 seconds but that's it.
Dear overweight woman at the gym,
I'm sorry if you noticed my incredulous glances. I'm just impressed that you can work the machine at that resistance level.
Dear Mum,
Please stop having a go about the state of my bedroom. Your office is a mess of paper. The chair in your room is covered in your clothes. If you shoved the two rooms together they'd look like mine.
Dear family,
Please stop asking me what I want to go into and give me a disgusted look when I tell you I have no idea
Dear Netflix ,
Please add more disney movies.
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