Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear students,
Please stop whining to us about "we don't need this, so why do you teach it?" We don't get to pick the curriculum. Trust me, my idea of a class is much more interesting.
Dear crosswalk button,
Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push. Push.
Dear parents,
Maybe if you stop yelling at your daughter to be so perfect and looked at the cuts on her wrist, she'll actually think you love her.
Dear people behind me,
I promise the line hasn't moved. Stop getting closer.
Dear neighbours who have a pool they never use,
I can't count how many times I've loudly said "I LOVE TO SWIM" in my back yard when I know you are on your deck...
Dear 100 calorie snack packs,
That's great and all, but I'm still hungry.
Dear Mary Poppins,
We all know thats not "sugar." I mean they jumped into a freaking painting and rode carousel horses.
Dear Dad,
When I asked if "The Exorcism" was scary, I meant in the mindset of your easily scared, paranoid daughter with an anxiety disorder...
Dear boy who just got to second base,
Surprise!
Dear teens,
It's "before," not "b4."
Dear Microwave,
Please heat up my food, not the bowl that holds the food.
Dear puberty,
Better late than never.
Dear clothing store,
Do you have a "not-a-prostitute" section in your store?
Dear perverts,
I don't suck on popsicles, I viciously bite them.
Dear haters,
Please don't walk over what I wrote in the sand to my girlfriend.
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