Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear "Wow you're so pretty! You look just like your sister!",
Thanks, but she looks like me.
Dear TV,
I'm sorry that I threw a shoe at you.
Dear biology teacher,
Yes, your comment during class yesterday was hilarious, but really, you are WAAAAY too old to be saying stuff like that!
Dear idiot,
The correct response to "No, we're not twins" is not "Are you sure?"
Dear English Paper,
I'm not exactly for sure what the main character's fatal flaw was, but I think mine's procrastination.
Dear dreams,
Please find some way to be recorded so I can watch you again and not forget five minutes after I wake up.
Dear teacher,
If you know the whole class is going to see your computer screen, it would be smart to delete the email verifying your eHarmony account.
Dear parents,
If you buy sugar-free hot chocolate mix, please know that I will use massive amounts of marshmallows to make up for it.
Dear teacher making your highschool students sit in boy, girl formation,
It's high school, we don't think the opposite sex has cooties, we're going to talk no matter what.
Dear World,
I'm not waiting for my Prince Charming, I'm waiting for my King Arthur!
Dear girls who say all boys are the same,
You mean all boys YOU LIKE are the same.
Dear Police Officer,
Well, in dog beers, I've only had one!
Dear girlfriend I just killed the spider for,
I hope you realize now how much i love you.
Dear life,
If you give me lemons to make lemonade, I'm also gonna need sugar, ice, water, a pitcher, a table, cups, bendy straws, and those little umbrellas you put in the cup to make it look pretty.
Dear teachers,
You might want to consider checking your students homework instead of just putting checks on them...
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