Please stop playing Peek-A-Boo. You're really not fooling anyo... WHAT!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!!
Sincerely, Surprised 1 year old
Dear person who asked if my stomach just growled,
No, there is a tiny lion in my stomach that got really angry all of a sudden and growled.
Sincerely, what do you think?
Please come home. We haven't seen you in weeks and you're off your medication. We never should have given you that monkey.
Sincerely, your worried parents
Dear person who came up with hugs,
Was the very first hug really creepy?
Sincerely, It must have been like "What are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me."
Dear Oxygen and Potassium,
Congrats on getting married. It may be none of my Bismuth, but your wedding wasn't great, it was OK.
Sincerely, a chemistry major.
Dear bubble wrap factory workers,
I applaud your self-control
Above all else,I hope death was the only thing you faked.
And you think your time of the month is bad.
Please stop calling me black. It's "African-American" now.
You are just my oversized Sims game
Dear twin sister,
I'll take your french final if you take my math final?
Sincerely, college here we come!
Dear guy customer who's credit card got declined while buying condoms,
You got cock-blocked by Visa.
Sincerely, amused customer behind you.
Dear makers of cherry medicine,
Have you ever tasted a damn cherry?
Sincerely, the world
Dear 90's kids,
You're starting to sound like crusty old men who want kids off their lawn.
Sincerely, "When I was you're age..."