Dear Metalhead Boyfriend,
Please know that I really do appreciate it when you get me onion rings from Sonic at 4 am. I wish I could wake you up with my voice, but I don't have one, so is extreme cuddling okay?
Sincerely, your mute and pregnant girlfriend.<3
I hate when you say that you have no money to give me, but then have a new pair of shoes the next day
Sincerely, your daughter
Dear middle school,
Please realize that a 5 minute passing period realy isn't enough time to go to the bathroom and that teachers rarely let us leave class. By taking away our bathroom privleges at lunch, you've ensured that we won't be able to go at all.
Sincerely, I really have to go pee!
I think a man wearing a helmet protecting his country should be paid more than a man wearing a helmet protecting a football.
Sincerely, one's more important than the other.
Dear Mascara and Eyeliner,
I have used at least four makeup remover pads and you are still plastered to my face. If I was crying you would have been off hours ago.
Sincerely, frustrated teenage girl
Dear kids who snitch on other kids,
Please accept my thanks. When you pass the word on a kid who's planning a massacre, you are a hero.
Sincerely, a guy whose daughter is still alive
Dear woman who fired me because I put her child in a time out,
He bit me and you had not told me any method for correcting him. What else was I suppose to do?
Sincerely, your now unemployed nanny
I have a life too, you know.
Sincerely, rape victim who won't carry a baby for nine months
Dear favorite fictional characters,
Please stop being more kind, intelligent, and interesting than the people I know in real life. I need to form real relationships, and it's hard when you're all so much better.
Sincerely, a bookworm
Dear people bashing on book-to-movie adaptations,
Please stop complaining. The movies aren't representations of the book; they're representations of the story. There have to be some cuts and changes, or it won't work as a film. You can only complain if the entire plot is changed.
When I search for definitions I did not mean give me a bunch of beyond college-level texts to work with.
Dear Those Who Think Rapping Is Just Talking Really Fast,
We prefer the term "talking with swag".
Sincerely, Rappers Everywhere
Dear complaining nursing majors in my class,
Please stop whining; I would be concerned if your courseload wasn't difficult. I don't want poorly trained nurses sticking needles in my arm.
Dear Wal-Mart protesters,
Please understand that buying all the stuff you buy there online is not any better. FedEx workers work 6 hours straight with no breaks and are constantly yelled at to work faster.
Sincerely, working at FedEx.
Dear "Tomboys aren't girls in short shorts and tank tops all the time",
I happen to be a tomboy who loves wearing short shorts and is extremely fond of her tank tops. Doesn't make me any less of one.
Sincerely, so what?