Dear people who say "Bae",
You do realize that Bae means poop, right?
Sincerely, fluent in Danish
Dear Who You Gonna Call?,
Please start working.
Sincerely, Need some fucking help here
Dear math teacher,
I will NEVER use proofs after high school.
Sincerely, I'm not going to be a mathematician.
Please verify that life really does get better after high school, because right now I can't take it anymore.
We know that you only brush your teeth right before you come here. It doesnt work
Sincerely, dentists and orthodontists
Dear new friend request,
I have never met you before and we have no mutual friends
Sincerely, how did you find me?
Dear George Michael,
Please understand we knew you were gay all along, love you this way, and don't want you to change. We only pretended you were het so our boring boyfriends would dance.
Sincerely, 80s Party Girls
Dear people who are panicking because they hae "flu-like symptoms",
You do not have ebola.
Sincerely, you have the flu
Dear youth pastor,
I've stopped trying to understand the crazy, random things we do at youth group. The Harlem Shake was fun, seeing you in a dress and wig was better.
Sincerely, I wouldn't leave you guys for anything.
Dear spoilt rich kids,
Please stop complaining about the laptops that are provided to you through our school. You have one. That's more than most people in the world have.
Sincerely, do you know how many people in the world don't have access to even education, let alone laptops?
Please stop saying "just roll with the punches"
Sincerely, what if I never stop being hit?
Please stop locking yourselves out of your rooms. Your adults bring your key with you!
Sincerely, Your RA
Dear People who want Cheap Accessable flying cars,
It is hard enough for you to drive on two dimensions. Imagine how how many accidents there would be in three. Plus, think of where the cars would land when they crash.
Sincerely, There will be no Auto-fitting clothes either.
Dear Westboro Baptist,
There are homosexual Christians in the world. If God, AKA 'our controller', really had anything against what they do, he probably would have done something about it by now.
Sincerely, a heterosexual semi-Christian