Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Sincerely, people of the Muggle world
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Sincerely, there's a pregnant woman in your ad...
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Sincerely, Question #4: The Los Angeles Lakers make me want to vomit. a. True b. True
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Sincerely, your immature students.
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
Dear children of the next generation,
Please accept this early apology for all of your names
Sincerely, yes I'm talking to you, Albus, Severus, Prim, Katniss, Cato, Rue, Sherlock, Rory, Merlin, Morgana, C
We like you for your brains. Not your bodies.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Sincerely, not cleaning that up
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Sincerely, this is the last time I am giving the toilet funeral ceremony.
Of course you can have my blessing for marrying Ginny, on one condition. First, you MUST tell me what the function of a rubber duck is. I've been dying to find out.