Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear guys who wear saggy pants,
Men in prison originated that "style" to let the other inmates know when they were available for some rear entry fun.
Dear Abercrombie & Fitch,
You sell clothing... but all your models are naked?
Dear teacher that lets us use our phones as calculators during tests,
Rookie mistake.
Dear geometry teacher,
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Dear person screaming "DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?!",
No, I payed twelve dollars to come to the movies so I could stare at the ground...
Dear science teacher,
Wake me up when it's time to board the magic school bus.
Dear blankie and unicorn pillow,
Get in the suitcase.
Dear mom who is worried about me doing drugs,
I would much rather play with a yo-yo and spin around in an office chair.
Dear guy who cancelled on me,
I EVEN SHAVED MY LEGS.
Dear reader,
If you don't forward this post to 10 people, you will die.
Dear sandals,
Please try to understand. I just can't be seen with you.
Dear period,
I know you're inevitable, but could you give me a warning next time?
Dear bully at my school,
I saw you checking out another guys butt...
Dear "there's plenty of fish in the sea",
Well that's cool, but I'm a human.
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