Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Simba,
Don't try to forbid your daughter to see the one she loves. Been there, done that.
Dear tampon commercials,
Am I supposed to feel like dancing on a beach in white spandex while I'm on my period?
Dear sliding glass door,
You win this round.
Dear teenage boy at the pool,
Please dont flatter yourself. I dont stare because I think you're attractive. It's just that you look like you might be drowning...
Dear math teacher,
You earned my respect when you said that Batman is just a ninja who has a lot of money to buy expensive toys and play with them.
Dear best friend,
I remember when you were quiet and shy.
Dear Dora ,
My bag holds more stuff than yours does and doesn't talk back...
Dear flat chested girls,
I'd gladly give you a cup-size or two.
Dear "Which came first the chicken or the egg?",
In the summer of 2010, a group of british scientists discovered that the protein that created the eggshell, ovocledidin-17, was only found in chickens; proving that the chicken came first.
Dear guy I like,
You walked me to my locker, you walked me to my locker, you walked me to my locker!
Dear slutty girl in my class,
Please wear a skirt long enough to cover your neon green thong.
Dear older brother,
Please don't tell my hot date you have a shotgun, shovel, and 200 acres.
Dear teacher,
Please know that if we can't wear that due to dress code then you shouldn't be able to either.
Dear friends,
Yes, my boyfriend is 6 months younger than me.
Dear kid telling me to stop being such a nerd,
I saw the grade on your paper.
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