Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear cast of Jersey Shore,
Be there soon!
Dear jocks,
Beating us up now, means we tip you less later.
Dear Pirates of the Carribean 4,
You're ruining our reputation.
Dear cereal,
Why do you always taste more delicious just before I go to bed than at breakfast?
Dear guy I follow on Twitter,
Thanks for telling me you're in Hawaii all week.
Dear girlfriend,
Really hating that the only time I get to poke you is on Facebook...
Dear paranoid store owners,
We're coming for you.
Dear World,
Leonardo DiCaprio didn't die at the end of the Titanic; he washed up on the shore at the beginning of Inception.
Dear "smart" phone,
It's touch screen, not hammer screen.
Dear guys,
If you're not Ken, don't expect us to be Barbie.
Dear April showers,
We're all set now, thanks though.
Dear Seaworld,
Please get Narwhals.
Dear alarm clock,
NOOO!!! I'll never know if I got that unicorn blood from the singing hippo...
Dear dad,
I warned you not to rip my blankets off when you try to wake me up...
Dear guys in my programming class,
Stop looking at me like I belong in the kitchen...
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