Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear boyfriend,
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Dear 7 year old brother,
Please continue to hop away like a bunny when I told you to 'hop off' because I was in a bad mood. You made my day.
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
Dear 'customer' who stole my phone while I was working to help you,
Please know that I had to run your credit, and know your name, address, and I also have you on camera stealing it.
Dear Actors,
I'm sorry I always pause the movie when you're making the worst face possible...
Dear Sex Ed Teacher,
You just made Sex Ed my favorite course.
Dear winter,
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Dear Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this!
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear creative writing class,
I'm glad you found all that symbolism in my poem. I was pretty sure I was just writing about a mountain lake.
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