Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Irony.
Dear Razor,
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Dear science teacher,
Having an anonymous question box during the sex unit is just an invitation for us to compete to see who can make the classroom atmosphere the most uncomfortable.
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear world,
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Dear children of the next generation,
Please accept this early apology for all of your names
Dear Girls,
We like you for your brains. Not your bodies.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Dear Harry,
Of course you can have my blessing for marrying Ginny, on one condition. First, you MUST tell me what the function of a rubber duck is. I've been dying to find out.
Dear men,
It's been shown that when most women kill, they do it with poison.
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