Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Mom,
No, I'm not mad. Yes, I am okay. Yeah, my day was fine. No, Mom, you didn't do anything wrong.
Dear male population,
Do not dismiss romantic comedies.
Dear long distance boyfriend,
The only plus about this relationship is the fact I dont have to shave my legs that often...
Dear people who sing rock-a-bye-baby,
And you wonder why we don't sleep at night?
Dear Walmart,
I quit. Please return my soul.
Dear boys,
I see you have socks stuffed in your pants...
Dear science class,
I don't need to be taught what an ocean floor dropoff looks like. Nemo already taught me that.
Dear little girl on my street,
Thank you for making my boyfriend smile on a day he had to wear his eye patch.
Dear English teacher,
It's so cool that you dissected my poem and found a zillion different, highly intellectual meanings.
Dear students,
I was going to arrange the seating chart strategically so that you could do better in class... but then I realized how cute those two would look together, and how funny it would be to put those two together, and it all fell into place.
Dear guy in the "friend zone",
Don't balme us girls, you put yourselves there.
Dear children,
When you look under your bed, what exactly are you going to do when you find me?
Dear hotels,
I have always wanted to see what I look like when I pee. Thanks.
Dear people with long thick hair,
Have fun spending the next 20 minutes getting the shampoo out of your hair.
Dear Professor,
Please don't accuse me of plagarizing our textbook. I didn't even read the textbook...
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