Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear ROTFL,
Laughing So Hard I Fell Off My Dinosaur Just Kidding I Don't Have A Dinosaur But If I Did I Would Name It Frank!
Dear telemarketer,
Sorry for answering the phone with "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?".
Dear people who think friend-zoned is bad,
Try cousin-zoned.
Dear really big guy at the tattoo parlor with so many tattoos and piercings,
Thank you for asking my friend if her purse was a Vera Bradley and perfectly naming the style
Dear little brother,
You made my day when you saw the model on the underwear package and said, "Well HE must be embarrassed."
Dear skirt,
Did you really have to tuck yourself into my underwear? It was a first date!
Dear waitress,
DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK!
Dear French teacher,
If you can mispronounce everything in English, I can mispronounce one word in French.
Dear Facebook,
Why on earth would I ever want a status update to be visible only to myself?
Dear "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands",
Screw you.
Dear middle schoolers,
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Dear shampoo and conditioner,
Victory! I finished you both at the same time!
Dear math students,
You only have 4 problems of homework tonight! 1.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 2.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 3.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 4.a.b.c.d.e.f.g.
Dear computer,
Why does it take less than a second for Facebook to load but twenty minutes for my homework assignment to download?
Dear Band-Aids,
Hmm, Spongebob or Toy Stor- OH MY GOSH, CHARLIE BROWN!
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