Dear friend who keeps telling me to donate to her causes,
According to you, I'm in the top 15% of richest people globally. However, that does not mean I can afford to go giving it away. Different countries have different currencies, different economies and different prices. What I get may make me wealthy by comparison to the average farmer in Ghana, but here I'm barely above the poverty line. Perhaps you should turn your attention to your own back yard before you go saving the world.
Sincerely, having trouble feeding myself, let alone anyone else.
Please Stop singing "Everyday I'm suffering."
Sincerely, It's "Everyday I'm shuffling!"
Dear Supreme Court,
Sincerely, non-heterosexual couples
I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
I'm the reason anybody actually likes you.
Dear visting USS George Washington Sailor,
Please don't leave, you just got here.
Sincerely, the Australian girl you met in a Brisbane bar.
At least We Have Doodles
Why does everyone bully me but leave comma, semi-colon, question mark, and exclamation point alone?
Dear ex boyfriend ,
Acne cleared up, lost 25 lbs, and learning how to box.
Sincerely, your "fat and ugly" ex girlfriend you just whistled at
Please leave the diamonds to me
Sincerely, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Thank you for thinking about me. I'm alive and doing fine.
Dear person saying "I can't even do that sober" to a cop,
You just admitted you weren't sober...
Sincerely, see what the state did there?
Dear verbal communication skills,
Why don't you ever work properly when I need you to?!
Sincerely, frustrated shut-in
Please stop destroying my mother. She's beautiful, but doesn't believe it. A ugly sickness like you isn't helping.
Sincerely, frustrated daughter