Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear person who stole our trashcan,
Well you know how the saying goes, "one man's trash is another man's treasure..."
Dear person who can't stop sneezing,
BLESS YOU ALREADY!
Dear Santa,
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Dear sister who just turned 13,
Welcome to the dark side. We've been expecting you.
Dear sleeping girlfriend,
I was in the middle of breaking up with you when you dozed off.
Dear boys,
You give out more mixed signals than Helen Keller directing traffic!
Dear world,
Did you know that if you're about to sneeze and say raspberry, it stops you?
Dear pyros of the world,
Ignite!
Dear Halloween,
Oh, the whore-or!
Dear NASA,
Looking for intelligent life?
Dear people who complain about their classmates,
Today my friend asked our high school class: What does Plankton sing in response to Spongebob's F.U.N. song? Every single person- girl and guy- broke out into song. We sang the whole thing (Spongebob's and Plankton's parts) and our teacher just sat there and smiled.
Dear inventor of tampons ,
Please tell me you're not a guy.
Dear butt,
Don't you have a life?
Dear "popular kid",
If you're "cooler" than me, doesn't that make me "hotter" than you?
Dear Facebook attention suckers,
Please stop making statuses about how ugly you are so other people will try and prove you wrong.
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