Dear people who lecture about fairness and unfairness,
Is it fair for someone to walk out their front door in the morning and not know if she'll make it back alive at the end of the day? Is it fair for her to have to attend the funerals of a dozen people her own age before she's ten? Is it fair for the police to not protect her and her neighbors because they're either paid off by or afraid of the gangs? Is it fair that she gets spit on, ridiculed, and physically assaulted every day because she's the only white person in her neighborhood and one of the only white people in her school? I know what unfairness is, probably better than most, so take your lecture and shove it.
Dear 5 year old sister,
Thanks for listening to my problems even though you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Dear guys,
You do know that woman are mammals, right? Were supposed to grow hair down there.
Dear everyone,
Please stop hating on religion, period.
Dear women,
Please realize that sometimes guys won't ask you out because they're nervous too.
Dear NHS,
Please forgive me. I promised I'd never be one of those drunks who clogged up the system. I don't know what happened, what went wrong. I tried to drown a terrible month, nothing new there, and then suddenly I'm missing five hours of my life, suffering from hypothermia so badly it would have been cause for medical care on it's own, and with a tube in my arm. I never meant for this to happen. You were nothing but professional, which was far more than I deserved. I hope my future regular donations of blood go some way to lessening the debt I owe you.
Dear assuming girl,
Please accept that there very well may be a million reasons that boy doesn't ask you out. Top of the list would be he's not attracted to you. Close second is you're arrogant enough to assume that you "know" that boy wants to ask you out. Why don't you give it a shot?
Dear Boy I went to Homecoming with,
That night was almost perfect and I still think about it vary often
Dear Mom,
How am I going to pick a college major, if every time I decide on one, you tell me how horrible that job is going to be?
Dear Period,
Please keep coming and reminding me I'm a healthy woman, I'm sorry everyone else seems to hate you
Dear sex ed teachers,
Yeah... As it turns out, abstinence is only 99.98% effective.
Dear male friend,
Thanks for being totally chill about lying on my stomach while we watched TV together. I would do it with any of my female friends, and it's nice to know that just because you're a different gender, you aren't automatically involved with my romantic/sex life.
Dear new person at church,
If you want to hold my son, you will approach where he can see you and hold your hands out and let him CHOOSE whether he wants to go to you. You will not come up behind him and snatch him from my arms without him even knowing you're there. I know you think he is cute (and I agree!) but to him you are a stranger, and I myself have only met you a few times. Back off.
Dear world,
Can't touch this.
Dear Mrs. Weasley,
Please explain to me how and why you adopted Harry Potter while I was at work... And how Dombledor approved of it.