Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Trix Rabbit,
We can team up and destroy those nosy kids once and for all. And then we'll have our cereal all to ourselves.
Dear band teachers,
Please don't look at us weird when we laugh after you say, "Use more tongue and blow harder".
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear Lady at the park,
When you asked me if the baby was my sister, and I said no the look on your face was priceless!
Dear Spongebob creators,
A squirrel in a space suit, a snail that meows, and a crab with a whale as a daughter
Dear illegal Mexican immigrants,
Thank you for distracting the Americans from the other border...
Dear husband,
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Dear Teenage boys,
I see you when you are sleeping, and those are very naughty dreams...
Dear world,
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Dear online website that asked if I was human,
What do you think I am?
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear girls of Jersey,
I put the STD in STUD all I need is U!
Dear drunk people next to us,
Hope you enjoy your photos tomorrow.
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