Please stop assuming that just because we're two guys, we're automatically gay. What happened to just being friends?
Sincerely, Timone and Pumba, Mike and Sully...
Dear patronising friend,
Please stop saying you 'don't want to spoil my innocence' every time I don't get a sexual reference.
Sincerely, I'm a virgin, not a 5 year old.
I hate to break this to you, but talking to your kid with a British accent will not give them one too. As a child develops their linguistic abilities, they will first learn from the parents but will eventually have an accent matching their peers (who will be presumably American). Therefore, you'll need to move to Great Britain.
Dear guest glued to their phone,
No, I don't care who just snapchatted you.
Sincerely, I invited you, not your phone.
Dear Guy trying to date my daughter,
I don't hate you because of your tatoos (I have my own) Its not because you were a high school drop out (I was to) and its not because your parents abuse drugs (I did at one point too)
Sincerely, its because you put her down all the time and act like a little prick, she deserves better than that
Dear girl wearing a hot pink sports bra under a white shirt in my Chemistry class,
You can wear whatever you want but please don't be surprised when someone comments on the color of your bra. If you didn't want people to notice your bra then don't be so obvious
Sincerely, think about it
Dear pharmacy that won't refill my medication,
I don't care that it hasn't been 30 days yet! I lost my antidepressants in a car accident and I NEED a refill NOW.
Sincerely, Depressed girl heavily reliant on her Lexapro.
You said you weren't homophobic because you like gay guys, but then you said that lesbians freak you out. *How* is that not homophobic?
Sincerely, your friend who apparentally would "freak you out"
Dear adorable little puppy,
Please stay cute forever and continue to try and protect me from the vacuum cleaner
Sincerely, I love you too
Dear social media,
I was raised into seeing complaining as a weakness, nudity as something natural and conversation as something you could learn from.
Sincerely, reconsidering my whole upbringing
You gave us the option to write a research paper abour anything.
Sincerely, Don't be surprised.
The next one of you to be rude to me is getting vomited on.
Sincerely, your cashier who is forced to come in, even though she is sick
Dear Spanish teacher,
I don't care how many years of spanish you took in high school and college. That doesn't mean how your pronouncing the word any more correct.
Sincerely, I'm Mexican and grew up there.
Dear Every Fish in the Sea,
Keep calm and... Nope, lost it.