Dear extremely passive English teacher,
Please slap some sense into these hooligans in my class or else I will.
Sincerely, Sick of listening to these imbeciles.
Dear girls in my art class,
When you ask each other how many boys you've slept with and you say "seven" there should not be an "only" in front of it.
Sincerely, ONLY seven, really?!
Dear Mr. Pibb,
What, couldn't handle med school?
Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
Just one question. How do you get that t-shirt over your head?
Sincerely, that's not possible.
Please, instead of creating new stuff like the Wii U, could you improve what you have? Specifically, the sensor bar.
Sincerely, I can't get any closer and the remote is still not registering
Dear awkwardly named nail polishes,
My history says I looked at a page named "dirty slut"
In order to make your essays longer without alerting the teacher, put two spaces at the beginning of each sentence and enlarge the periods and commas to font 14.
Sincerely, You're Welcome
Dear fellow girls,
Please stop assuming I'm a lesbian just because my life is not centered around finding a boyfriend.
Sincerely, maybe I'm happy being single.
Please clean your pubes off my bar of soap after you use it.
Sincerely, at the very least...
Dear girls with naturally big boobs who complain about back pain and not having cute bras,
I'm not asking to have big boobs. Just larger than my original size.
Sincerely, 19 year-old girl with 34A size boobs
Dear "those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it",
This saying just got a whole new meaning...
Sincerely, failing History class.
Dear people with anxiety disorders,
Please remember that even if you don't overcome your difficulties completely, sometimes success is just going to the store to buy milk without panicking. You might get out of it or you might not, but either way remember to celebrate little successes along the way.
Dear people looking for work,
Please consider us.
Sincerely, the military
You can try to act cool, until they bring out the bubble wrap!
Sincerely, the child inside of you