Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear "One Size Fits All",
Hahahaha, right...
Dear bully from high school,
Thanks for pushing us into the same locker.
Dear couple sucking face in public,
Actually, my boyfriend and I do know what it is like to be that much in love.
Dear Taylor Swift,
How is it that you have only been alive for 3 years more than me, but you've had about 30 times more boyfriends?!
Dear prejudiced and judgmental Americans,
The Muslim families at the community center in my neighborhood were just as terrified as the rest of us on 9/11.
Dear teachers,
Sitting boy-girl-boy-girl isn't punishment anymore.
Dear woman who just asked me how far along I am,
I'm not pregnant.
Dear kids who star in rated R movies,
Are you allowed to watch them after?
Dear those in need of a new drinking game,
Get your hands on a copy of Twilight, then take a shot every time Bella uses the word 'perfect' to describe Edward's face, body, voice etc.
Dear English Teachers,
Books are for reading, not over-analyzing.
Dear "all white people are racist",
You do realize the irony of the statement, right?
Dear movie theater,
You see that big purse my sister is carrying? Yeah. We stopped at the Dollar Store on our way here to get candy.
Dear aunties,
Please stop poking me at weddings saying, "You're next" or I'll start doing it to you at funerals.
Dear guy who I just rear-ended,
You just happened to be shirtless and incredibly good looking?!
Dear Algebra teacher,
I have a better idea! How about we watch Inception instead?
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