Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear dictionaries,
Please stop putting such big words in your definitions.
Dear Facebook ,
Please add ridin' solo as a relationship status.
Dear irritating teenage boys,
Our department didn't stretch to buying you calculators just so that you could write "boobs." Grow up.
Dear homework,
I'm saving myself for marriage...
Dear legs,
Did we just accidentally participate in no shave November?
Dear pessimists and optimists,
Look at the glass... Now it's wine!
Dear Candace,
Why dont you just take a picture of Phineas and Ferb?
Dear guy I have a crush on,
You're the reason I get up in the morning <3.
Dear guy who just asked how I like my eggs in the morning,
Unfertilized.
Dear cat,
Please, I'm sorry I raise you in the air everytime I hear "The Circle of Life."
Dear iPad,
The guys might not get it, but when you first were created we all laughed.
Dear friend,
No, the fact that your vacuum is broken doesn't suck, it blows.
Dear kitchen table,
Look, I know that I spilled nail polish on you, but you didn't have to attack my hip.
Dear Lucky Charms,
Why is the milk in my bowl grey by the time I finish eating you?
Dear Miley Cyrus,
Well this is awkward you actually weren't invited to the party...
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