Dear guy friend,
Thank you for telling me that there's nothing wrong with being a strong woman, and not to let anyone tell me differently.
Sincerely, feeling more comfortable in my own skin
Please stop complaining about grading all our work.
Sincerely, you assigned it.
Please stop exacting revenge because I didn't give you a baby
Sincerely, girl in som serious pain
Please bring back the lime skittles. We were all very upset when you discontinued them.
Sincerely, lemon lime lovers everywhere
Dear Republican Party,
You've got plenty of candidates that can beat Hillary. Jeb Bush is not one of them. Please, nominate somebody who can actually win.
Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen
Dear woman at my gym,
There was no real need to bitch at me the way you did. I didn't realize that looking at you was deemed offensive.
Sincerely, I just thought you were pretty...
Dear Jobs I applied for,
Please think about getting back to me sooner. I found a better job while waiting, and 3 months is a dang long time to wait to hear that I wasn't accepted.
Sincerely, I hope you go out of business
Calling black Republicans "Uncle Toms" is racist. Your political affiliation does not give you license to be hateful to the people who disagree with you.
Sincerely, Sensible Americans
Dear men who use public restrooms,
Please learn to freakin aim
Sincerely, a part time employee sick of cleaning your pee off the floor
Dear Star Wars fans,
What if the Indiana Jones stories are really Han Solo's dreams when he is frozen in Carbonite?
Please leash your dogs on walks. Your dog is small but wants to kill my large, leashed dog. If it gets here and bites her, it won't survive.
Sincerely, just because it's small doesn't make it safe
We like sandwiches too!
Dear certain Americans,
Please can we have a civil conversation about gun laws and statistics without you using "Second Amendment" as your only argument? This is a really important topic, please don't shrug it off because of how it might affect you.
Sincerely, we aren't trying to remove firearms, only make ownership safer.
Dear visiting in-laws,
Please remember that there are latches on our toilet lids for three reasons: your very active, inquisitive grandchildren. When you leave the lids up, those latches are rendered completely ineffective.