Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Easter,
Who thought of this holiday and said "...you know what this needs? A bunny that hides colorful eggs."
Dear dreams,
Stop ending right when I get to the good part!
Dear cute boy in my biology class,
You put the XY in sexy.
Dear boredom,
They are using you to get to me.
Dear Starbucks customer who just ordered a tall white mocha with 12 pumps of syrup,
Let me just add a side of diabetus for you...
Dear girls,
I don't want in your pants... I have my own.
Dear tooth fairy ,
I know I'm a little old, but if I pulled out my tooth and put it under my pillow, would you please come? I really need the money...
Dear person who just tweeted "if u cud recomend a book 4 me wat wud it b?",
It would be a dictionary.
Dear Jesus,
If the Holy Spirit lives within us, does that make us your Horcuxes?
Dear World,
I told a chemistry joke once...
Dear oxygen,
Care for a game of aldehyde and seek?
Dear my new puppy,
When I named you 'Dobby' I didn't intend for you to steal all my socks...
Dear Marching Band,
We, the percussion section, are the only section that doesn't blow...
Dear cookie dough,
How come you're always better than the actual cookie?
Dear school announcements,
"Oh and one last announcement, Freshmen, you do not need to be asked to go to homecoming. It is a school wide dance. You also do not need to pay an extra 15 dollars for the tickets."
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