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Dear rude woman,
I get that I have a pretty harsh accent, but you cussing me out in public for "faking a Nazi accent" doesn't really motivate me to improve it... It's my first day, you idiot!
Dear people who say girls shouldn't wear make-up,
I have the face of a ten-year-old and the chest capacity of a 21-year-old. I'm 16.
Dear girl at the bar,
Please understand just because I was in the marines does not mean I support war, guns and killing people.
Dear women who say men shouldn't be grossed out by periods,
It is pretty gross.
Dear only 90's kids can own the original Disney shows or movies,
Shouldn't you be glad that they're actually watching original Disney? Shouldn't you be happy that they're not watching Jersey Shore, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, or some crap like that? The movies were made for everybody, not just 90's kids. Let them enjoy it. Not just one generation owns the good Disney.
Dear people at school,
Please stop asking Spanish kids if we hopped the border.
Dear camper,
Please realize that I am responsible for your health and happiness IN THAT ORDER! So stop complaining when I make you do things like use the bagel cutter instead of a giant knife.
Dear guy in the library,
Please stay the same. Thanks for screaming "Oh no! Dobby's closed the platform! However will we get back to Hogwarts?" when i accidentally ran head first into a wall
Dear guy I slept with last night,
Thank you for being the nicest most polite guy I have ever met. You even made me breakfast
Dear everyone I went to primary school with,
You were all right. Me and my boy best friend didn't stay 'just friends'. We live together now
Dear depression,
Please stop making me ruin my own life. I'm tired.
Dear Girl I am in love with.,
I have raging diarrhea right now.
Dear mean girls,
I lost my sister because of your countless teasing sessions. I watched her arms go from smooth, to being cut. I found bruises when she was asleep. I know pain. Forgive me if I think I'm better than you.
Dear guy trying to talk to me,
I'm not trying to be rude, I am sure you are really nice, but I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work.
Dear Honors English Teacher,
Please continue giving your classes munchknins the day before finals.