Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Glee,
How old are you now? Because i'm pretty sure that there are no 30 year old students at MY high school.
Dear best man,
Please forgive me for that embarrassing speech. It was all my fault.
Dear world,
You take so many unecessary showers.
Dear Crayola,
Please stop making all your crayons look so tasty.
Dear body,
I think you arranged yourself upside down.
Dear parents,
Wait, so you named me after bread? Seriously?
Dear bra,
You are not an appropriate wallet.
Dear mom,
Buying low-fat vanilla ice cream will not keep me from eating it.
Dear poets,
Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.
Dear whoever just called,
Thanks for not telling me who you are or your number.
Dear math teacher,
Why can't I add apples to oranges?
Dear Britney Spears,
Dear Britney Spears.
Dear people who use HW in place of homework,
Those are my initials. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that you're "doing HW tonight."
Dear mom,
No, the song lyrics are not "now I'm feelin' so so like a cheese stick."
Dear boy on the beach,
Please put your eyes back in your head where they belong
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