Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear dark spot in the corner of the wall,
Are you a spider or just a bit of fluff? I'll blow on it and see if you move.
Dear Vice Principal with a lisp,
FYI, none of your students take you seriously.
Dear pervert,
Yeah, that's what she said. But not to you...
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for saying "Yeah, like YOU'VE never done that" to Mum while she was screaming at me!
Dear 11 year old,
Really? Your weekend plans are to get your eyebrows waxed, buy makeup and text your boyfriend?
Dear girls who dress like it's Summer in the Winter,
HA!
Dear youtube song videos with lyrics,
Instant kaoroke night!
Dear art teacher,
Yes I did draw a picture. Of what you say? Well of a cow eating grass of course. Where's the grass? Uhm duh, the cow ate it all. Where's the cow? He left to go find some more grass.
Dear little sister,
Did you really ask if I was a "cereal" killer after I stepped on a cheerio.
Dear boyfriend,
The fact that you didn't judge me when I said I wanted a dinosaur pillow pet (even though I'm 21) makes me like you even more...
Dear guests at my house,
Just because you find Bubble Wrap on the floor does NOT mean you can pop it!
Dear Parents,
If I don't answer at 4:10, I'm probably not going to answer at 4:12.
Dear Harry Potter Fans,
Did you know "muggle" used to be slang for marijuana?
Dear fuzz ball,
I do intend to repeatedly slap you, flick you away from me, and watch for signs of life until you prove to me you aren't a bug.
Dear Biology students,
I enjoy seeing the paranoia set in as you realize every answer on the test is A.
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