Please stop with the self harm jokes. You never know what people around you could be struggling with.
Sincerely, your friend in the long sleeves
Please understand that while I am on the internet much of the time... It doesn't mean I have no life and no friends. It's not my fault that the few friends I have in this town can't ever hang out. Please stop comparing me and my lack of sociality to my extremely popular brother. If he's happy hanging out with a bunch of people that don't really like him... The more power to him. But it's time you realized that I'm not that person and I'd much rather be lazy at home, talking to people I like who live thousands of miles away, than to be with the jerks who live nextdoor.
Sincerely, Happy Online
Dear people who get offended at everything,
Will you stop it already? Just laugh about it and get over it!
Sincerely, whatever happened to being a good sport?
Dear music store customers,
If you want to try out a guitar, feel free to ask and our staff will be happy to help you out. But please, no Stairway to Heaven, Nothing Else Matters, Smoke on the Water, Iron Man, Sweet Child O Mine, Crazy Train, Back in Black or any other ridiculously overplayed riffs and licks.
Sincerely, the owner who has come to hate these riffs now
Dear ex-boyfriend in Afghanistan,
We may not be together anymore, but I still miss you.
Sincerely, your ex-girlfriend who hopes you'll come home soon
Dear Donald Trump,
Please note that putting a wall on the US's southern border would be expensive (Mexico ain't stupid enough to pay for that), and accomplish nothing.
Sincerely, The Wall of China- which the Mongols went AROUND
Dear Dogs in those ASPCA commercials,
I wish I could hug each and everyone of you.
Sincerely, Animal lover
Dear Jack the Ripper,
We have the same middle name!
Sincerely, Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Winnie the Pooh.
Dear retail stores,
It's Thanksgiving, not Black Friday Eve. Let us spend time with our families.
Sincerely, retail workers
Dear Algedra students complaining about mixing numbers and letters.,
Just wait until they throw in Greek letters too!
Sincerely, a Pre-Calculus student
I love you and appreciate everything you've done for me. But please, you need to let me grow up. I'm getting older and soon you won't be there to always tell me what the "right" choice is.
Sincerely, your growing daughter
Please know that all skaters are not bad people. We do not all do drugs.
Sincerely, a skater
Dear people who say "All Muslims are not ISIS",
Please remember that, while it is true that all Muslims are not evil or part of ISIS, their religion is completely evil and teaches them that all non-Muslims should be killed
Sincerely, the Muslim religion is corrupt
Dear Girls with big breasts that say girls with small breasts can't complain,
I am not saying that I want giant knockers bigger than my head that give me horrible back pain. I just want to wear cute shirts and dresses and have them fit. It would make me feel better about myself that I don't have to dress like a boy.
Sincerely, 29 year old who can't wear an A cup bra because it's too big, and depressed about it.