Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear scientific community,
Ms. Frizzle told me Pluto was a planet. Therefore, it will always be so.
Dear food commercials,
Nobody eats food in slow motion with their eyes closed.
Dear "did you bring enough for the class",
I mean... If i break it into really little pieces...
Dear Dad,
Yeah, there was a reason I made your favorite dinner and let you have the remote.
Dear ABC Family,
Please consider changing your name to "ABC Family Planning."
Dear dentist who says I need to brush my teeth more,
IT RUINS MY ORANGE JUICE.
Dear Taylor Swift,
His hand better not be on your "heart."
Dear Amish Person,
Busted.
Dear America,
You still have a law in Iowa that allows you to shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
Dear girlfriend,
Wanna see a magic trick?
Dear television,
Stop informing kids they can do anything if they use their imagination..
Dear married friends,
I'm single, not defective.
Dear parents,
"Kids aren't supposed to play with food." Really?
Dear people who stare at me,
Just because I'm 13 and I already have hairy legs, acne, and a deep voice doesn't mean I don't have feelings too!
Dear boys who signed my yearbook,
Please, my mom reads this.
THIS IS PAGE 3
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