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Dear family,
Please stop asking when I am having kids.
Dear Boyfriend,
Thank you for being amazing and taking care of me while I was drunk and not being a standard college boy and take advantage of a drunk girl
Dear Cupcake liner makers,
Can you please explain why you always put 50 cupcake liners in a package? You can make 12 cupcakes using 1 cupcake pan so after 4 pans I have 2 left over.
Dear Donald Trump,
Please stop. Just stop.
Dear John Smith,
Please explain why you're English and everyone on your ship is English but they all have English accents and you sound like you born when a Bald Eagle made a nest in the Stars and Stripes.
Dear women afraid of blood,
How is that even possible?
Dear Recruitment Agencies,
Please stop calling at 9:00am. You're dealing with the unemployed. If we don't answer the phone it's not because we didn't get to it in time, we're just enjoying what little benefits we have.
Dear Adulthood,
Please allow me to get a somewhat decent job so that the Bachelor degree that I just graduated with is not just a colossal waste of money!
Dear people who wonder why Hogwarts doesn't send rejection letters,
Because it would break the International Statute of Secrecy!
Dear Kindle haters,
Please don't tell me how much better books are than eReaders: I know. I recieved my Kindle as a gift, and it is simply cheaper and more convient to read and buy books. If I had endless amounts of money and the ability to go to the bookstore and buy books I would. It dosn't mean I am not a true literature lover or that I don't ever read "true" books, nor does it mean you are better than me because you do.
Dear Creepy man getting out of his car,
Please stop staring at me like you're going to break into my car and kidnap me.
Dear Caitlyn Jenner,
Please have an amazing, honest, and happy life
Dear Everyone,
Please stop liking things that I don't like and doing things I don't do. That'd be great 'k?
Dear airport security agent,
Did you SERIOUSLY AND FOR REAL just SWAT my six-months-pregnant belly and demand, "What is this?" I know it doesn't take a degree in rocket science to do your job, but how did you get this far in life without learning where babies come from?
Dear World,
Please stop saying it's wrong or not normal for teenagers to be having sex. According to biology, yeah, it's totally normal. In fact, we're wired to do so. Nowadays it's just impractical and unwise, but it's certainly not strange.
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