Dear rude woman,
I get that I have a pretty harsh accent, but you cussing me out in public for "faking a Nazi accent" doesn't really motivate me to improve it... It's my first day, you idiot!
Sincerely, Norwegian exchange student
Dear people who say girls shouldn't wear make-up,
I have the face of a ten-year-old and the chest capacity of a 21-year-old. I'm 16.
Sincerely, what's wrong with using a little eye-liner to make myself look like my actual age?
Dear girl at the bar,
Please understand just because I was in the marines does not mean I support war, guns and killing people.
Sincerely, I had a 4 year contract and I was enough of a man to see it through
Dear women who say men shouldn't be grossed out by periods,
It is pretty gross.
Sincerely, and I've had to deal with them for the last 15 years of my life!
Dear only 90's kids can own the original Disney shows or movies,
Shouldn't you be glad that they're actually watching original Disney? Shouldn't you be happy that they're not watching Jersey Shore, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, or some crap like that? The movies were made for everybody, not just 90's kids. Let them enjoy it. Not just one generation owns the good Disney.
Sincerely, a fellow 90's kid.
Dear people at school,
Please stop asking Spanish kids if we hopped the border.
Sincerely, most of us aren't even Mexican.
Please realize that I am responsible for your health and happiness IN THAT ORDER! So stop complaining when I make you do things like use the bagel cutter instead of a giant knife.
Sincerely, your frustrated counselor
Dear guy in the library,
Please stay the same. Thanks for screaming "Oh no! Dobby's closed the platform! However will we get back to Hogwarts?" when i accidentally ran head first into a wall
Sincerely, you just made my day.
Dear guy I slept with last night,
Thank you for being the nicest most polite guy I have ever met. You even made me breakfast
Sincerely, I wish I would have given you my number now
Dear everyone I went to primary school with,
You were all right. Me and my boy best friend didn't stay 'just friends'. We live together now
Sincerely, we became super best friends
Please stop making me ruin my own life. I'm tired.
Sincerely, she who antagonizes.
Dear Girl I am in love with.,
I have raging diarrhea right now.
Sincerely, trying to be more open and honest with you.
Dear mean girls,
I lost my sister because of your countless teasing sessions. I watched her arms go from smooth, to being cut. I found bruises when she was asleep. I know pain. Forgive me if I think I'm better than you.
Sincerely, A heart-broken brother
Dear guy trying to talk to me,
I'm not trying to be rude, I am sure you are really nice, but I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work.
Sincerely, I don't want to talk to you right now.