Dear school,
Please don't make me wake up early.
Dear Mother,
I told you that I was scared to be in my own home because of your fiance and all you do is yell at me.
Dear friends who took care of me while I was drunk and weepy,
Thank you so much for that...and for still being my friends afterwards.
Dear Dad,
I wasn't about to cry because you were scolding me about how awful my English grade is. I was about to cry because, for the first time every, you told me I have a gift for language.
Dear people complaining about the new Cartoon Network shows,
You do know that they have at least half of the old shows on Netflix...
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a daughter.
Dear Republicans and Democrats,
Do you believe gay people have the right to bare arms?
Dear Hershey's,
"Easy-to-open package" my tushie!
Dear annoyed Europeans,
We aren't all overweight.
Dear guy who smirked at me when I said I mostly listen to Disney,
You wish you were as awsome as me.
Dear guy who discovered milk,
What were you doing to that cow, and why?!
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
Vampires. Don't. Sparkle.
Dear sister's mother-in-law,
Please stop telling her how to raise her kids. You walked out on yours when they were young because you couldn't stay faithful to their father.
Dear creep staring at my butt in the gym,
You're in for a shock when I turn around.
THIS IS PAGE 4
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