Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Kristen Stewart,
I can't read your poker face.
Dear cute guy i stalked on Facebook,
Oops, forgot I wasn't supposed to know that...
Dear lesbian couple in my class,
So how does this work... you both make sandwiches for each other?
Dear middle schools that start with "P",
So your schools initials are PMS? And your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Dear 2nd place,
Congratulations!
Dear iPod,
I named you, Titanic.
Dear Virgin Islands,
Yeah, that was your name before I got there. Now you're called The Islands.
Dear waitress,
Why did you bring me a BILL?
Dear gansta,
Why you trippin'?
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
Aren't violets more of a violet?
Dear U.S. government,
My teacher taught me that "pro" and "con" are opposites. So wouldn't the opposite of progress be...?
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear Bella Swan,
Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Dear Twilight fans,
The closest thing we have to vampires here are mosquitoes.
Dear children of today,
You can be anything you want to be!
THIS IS PAGE 4
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