Did you ever hear the Churchill ordered a plstypus in the middle of WWII to raise moral?
Sincerely, This is why wevwon the war.
Please know that if you bring your cappuccino back for being 'too foamy' you will get, and deserve, a death stare.
Sincerely, Order a damn latte
Dear parents at the pool,
Please f*cking pay attention to your little kids...
Sincerely, lifeguards who are sick and tired of pulling out the same kid repeatedly
Please get over hating Obama. You should hope he proves you wrong and does something good for our country instead of hating him.
Sincerely, I'm not a democrat, but I'm smart enough to know I want the best for my country.
Please note that when there is a fire in the mall and everybody needs to evacuate, it means not only you, but the staff working in the shops too. The staff will not be there to process your returns and refunds, nor will they be there to run the cinema, no matter what your movie ticket says. This is for your safety, so get out and come back later.
Sincerely, the mall management staff who was nearly run over multiple times by shoppers who do not understand t
Dear "God has a plan for you",
Does his plan involve me being broke and homeless? Because that's where this is going without divine intervention.
Sincerely, a desperate, jobless student wanting words of COMFORT
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Sincerely, It's like you wanted Quirrell to get the stone.
Dear research paper,
let's get this over with
Dear boy who wondered why I never had a boyfriend,
Please understand that I read books, and I read about all these wonderful fairytales. All I wish is to have one happen to me.
Sincerely, I'll wait for my fairytale.
Please stop freaking out over every little thing.
Sincerely, there are worse problems than someone eating some of your soup.
Thank you for helping me raise money to move to Tennessee even though you still claim I am three. I know you don't want me to go, but I am ready for this.
Sincerely, I love you so much.
Dear Americans who constantly trash the United States and say they hate the country,
Please either work towards making the country a better place for everyone or get out.
Sincerely, a fellow American
Please stop asking when I am having kids.
Thank you for being amazing and taking care of me while I was drunk and not being a standard college boy and take advantage of a drunk girl
Sincerely, Your Loving Girlfriend
Dear Cupcake liner makers,
Can you please explain why you always put 50 cupcake liners in a package? You can make 12 cupcakes using 1 cupcake pan so after 4 pans I have 2 left over.
Sincerely, Now I need to by another package.