Dear Professors,
Please be generous.
Dear Algebra,
Function you. I want you X'd out of my life 4 good. Y? Because you have foiled my overall GPA. I want you factored out of my classes and distributed into a science class. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat some pi.
Dear America,
Seriously, what is Ramen?
Dear English teachers,
Today I graded papers for my own teacher as I already read the book. The test they had was open book and about 5 out of 7 failed.
Dear world,
Bacon isn't actually as good as you make it out to be.
Dear Ariel,
Why didn't you just write out a message to Eric?
Dear slow walkers in the hall,
Natural selection, natural selection...
Dear World,
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.
Dear coworker,
You know what the best way to pass a drug test is? Don't do drugs.
Dear Fellow Females,
How the heck do I go about learning how to dress properly? I go into a store and get overwhelmed by too many choices.Why don't women have an easy standard for nice clothes like men do?
Dear boys,
Never ask a girl if she is PMSing
Dear guy who stands up for me when other guys call me 'fag',
Please don't turn around and start labeling everything you see 'gay'
Dear world,
Please try not to be offended when I giggle about the name..
Dear customer,
You're right, your needs are much more important than my own. But, the great thing is that all of the other customer's collective needs are far, far more important than yours could ever be. So, it doesn't matter how much of a tantrum you throw, I'm still kicking you out for disturbing the other patrons.
Dear boyfriend,
Please understand how much I appreciate our "workout" competition.
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