Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Discovery Channel,
More people die a year from falling coconuts than from shark bites.
Dear people who like random facts,
Ducks can breathe out of their butts.
Dear guys in the friend, like a brother and I thought you were gay zone,
At least you're not in the "I just watched her marry someone else" zone.
Dear racists,
There are nearly 7 billion people in the world. Number-wise, 17% of the world is white, 15% of the world is black, 31% is Asian, 25% is Middle Eastern/Indian, 4% is Native American, and the remaining 8% is all the other. The world has so many different ethnicities, not to mention all the mixed-race people. So when you do stupid things like locking your car doors when an Indian man walks by, refuse to give up your seat to a frail old white lady on the train, trip up the Asian kid in your workplace, sneer at the black guy or do anything else to any other ethnicity, you're basically disregarding part of our world. Don't like Middle Eastern people? Whoops, that's a quarter of the population, gone. 25% of the world you never gave a chance, never got to know. You're missing out on more than you could possibly imagine. Why bother blocking it out?
Dear world,
What comes after 69?
Dear car in front of me,
WAIT! SLOW DOWN...
Dear the three girls I saw walking their chickens at the park,
You just made my life.
Dear college,
Thank you so much for having a two day, campus wide zombie apocalypse.
Dear teacher,
No it can't wait till next period. I'm trying to take care of the one I'm currently having!
Dear Febreze commercials,
How do you manage to blindfold random people off the streets and have them sniff a grotesque room without raising any questions?
Dear Soda Fountains,
When I was younger, I thought you were like a water fountain except soda came out.
Dear universe,
When I study really hard for a test, I get a B. When I completely forgot about my physics test until I walked into class, I got 100%.
Dear girl walking in front of me,
If I can tell that you're wearing a pad, your jeans are too tight.
Dear kid swinging a stick and having fun outside,
In my day, we - oh, wait never mind.
Dear snobby popular girl,
Actually, I was looking at the quiet, shy girl behind you. She's way more beautiful than you'll ever be.
THIS IS PAGE 4
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US