I'm not drunk,
Sincerely, I'm just trying to walk like Jack Sparrow
Dear boys who ask why girls wear bras if they "have nothing to put in them",,
Please explain why you wear pants then...
Sincerely, uh, yeah I went there...
If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.
Sincerely, Why did you ask?
You give me impossible homework, I give you impossible handwriting.
Sincerely, have fun grading my paper
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Sincerely, it makes the situation 10x better, I assure you
Why aren't you a unicorn?
Sincerely, You are what you eat
Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Sincerely, put it on.
Dear History Teacher,
Kind of ironic I failed my presentation by not being loud enough.
Sincerely, it was on the Fifth Amendment, the right to remain silent
Dear history teacher who told a kid in my class to stop making fun of mormons because "You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your religion,
He is mormon.
Sincerely, totally made my day
Dear Prince Charming,
You really didn't think we'd find out? It's time to chose buddy!
Sincerely, Cinderella and Snow White
Why thank you, I am very ingenious and am going to rule the technological world because I knew how to fix your computer.
Sincerely, but seriously, I just pressed the power button...
Dear future students,
If I ever become a teacher, I will seat you based on who would be a cute couple
Sincerely, please date accordingly
If pizza is a vegetable because it has tomatoes in it, that means vodka is a vegetable too.
Sincerely, person who knows that vodka is made from potatoes.
Dear Squirrel in my yard,
Just because you froze in place, doesn`t mean you`re invisible.
Sincerely, I`m looking right at you.