Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear world,
You can't say bubbles angrily no matter how hard you try.
Dear people who say you don't learn anything from tv,
3 words... Big Bang Theory
Dear 9 year old male cousin,
Tampons aren't really bottle rockets, I lied to you when you asked.
Dear Great-Grandma,
Yes he's black. No he's not my slave...
Dear 5 year old brother,
Yes, the sun is made up of lots of gasses. ...No, it's not a gigantic fart.
Dear WebMD,
Thanks for narrowing it down
Dear Katy Perry,
Glitter all over the room? I think I know who that stranger in your bed is....
Dear Girls who want chivalry,
You should consider an engineering college. Guys will fight over opening doors for you.
Dear girl coughing obnoxiously in class,
Please note that we all helped to sneak the cough drop across the room so that you could shove it in your mouth.
Dear everyone in the world,
When you fall, I will always be there for you
Dear people who stereotype kidnappers always having a white van ,
Sometimes we have black vans....
Dear young girls walking in a row at the mall looking down at their phones,
Heads up.
Dear tv commercials,
I find it highly entertaining when you show a condom commercial then right after you show a diaper commercial.
Dear World,
Actually, the cool kids ride Emus.
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Chocolate lovers month? I see what you did there.
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