Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear parents,
I'm not stomping, I'm just walking with enthusiasm.
Dear life,
What should I do with the melons?
Dear girl who posted a picture on Facebook with the caption "just woke up",
I just wake up with perfect makeup and my hair styled perfectly too!
Dear Facebook,
Please make an "in a relationship with a fictional character" option.
Dear Boyfriends,
Please realize that the only reason you'll ever get your sweatshirt back is because it has lost its scent. We will expect it back as soon as you have made it smell like you again.
Dear Google,
If I shoot myself in the armpit, will I die?
Dear customer,
When you pay with a generous amount of one dollar bills we automatically assume you're a stripper.
Dear creater of sesame street,
When the interviewer asked if Burt and Ernie were gay your reply was "They're puppets..."
Dear young male cashier at the drug store,
Thanks for not giving me any weird looks when I purchased Midol, ice cream and tampons.
Dear people walking in front of me,
If you could just... Can I get around... um, excuse... Oh what's the point?
Dear teacher who just asked why I'm bringing my bag to the bathroom,
Thanks for the embarrassment...
Dear world,
Robert Pattinson admitted that he would rather play Cedric Diggory than Edward Cullen.
Dear science teacher,
Are you trying to tell us something?
Dear people who think call of duty will make their kids murderers,
I grew up playing games where a plumber ate mushrooms that made him live longer, shoot fire, and get taller. Now I am neither a plumber or eat mushrooms.
Dear boyfriend,
Yeah, you might wear the pants in the relationship, but I control the zipper.
THIS IS PAGE 4
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US