Why WOULDN'T I touch the butt? Butts are great!
Dear guy who sold me his old car,
Please let me know if you want your blood soaked rag back
Sincerely, should I be concerned?
Dear daywalkers and the rest of the human race,
Please note that I have recently acquired a soul. If you find that yours is missing, do not panic. I have done you a favor as you will now survive the impending zombie apocalypse unlike the mortals. You're very welcome.
Sincerely, a ginger.
Dear obese people,
The concepts of "thin privilege" and "fatphobia" are ridiculous. Discrimination based on weight is different from discrimination based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, etc. Weight is something you can actually control, it's not an inherent part of you. And it's perfectly reasonable to judge people based on their lifestyle choices.
Sincerely, an overweight person who isn't a victim
I am so looking forward to the excuse to wear tiny shorts and cute tank tops with micro mini bikinis
Sincerely, I love my body. Is there a problem?
Dear lazy public schooled friends,
Just because I can never hang out, doesn't mean I "have no life." I can't hang out because I spend 7 hours a day doing school work, volunteer multiple times a week, go to the gym every other day, and am on a national volleyball team that has a lot of practices and travels a lot.
Sincerely, a hard working home-schooler who understands there's more to life than partying.
Dear elevator in my apartment building,
Please stop doing that thing where you pause between floors (and maybe start to go back down a little if you were ascending before you paused) as if you're deciding whether or not to fall and kill me
Sincerely, terrified resident
Unhand my mother, you bitch.
Sincerely, not about to lose her yet.
Dear fashion designers,
Please make colored jeans that aren't skinny jeans.
Sincerely, size 14 with a sense of style.
Dear writer's block,
I know you have helped me with my school work, but I need my space.
Sincerely, it's not you, it's me.
Please realize that Chinese isn't the only Asian nationality out there....
Sincerely, Korean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese, Filipino, Vietnamese, Malaysian......
Dear Male roommate who spends an hour in the shower,
Please remember there are three of us that need to get ready as well.
Sincerely, you spend longer on your hair than I spend showering.
Not all Christians hate you and think you work with the devil. My husband is atheist.
Sincerely, tired of seeing "Dear Christians,"
Dear males in my life,
Please chill out with the homophobia. You believe in the stereotypical homosexual as being the only type of homosexual. What I'm saying to you is that there isn't a specific mold of a gay man; they can be masculine and feminine, bearded or shaven, skinny or burly. So while you were busy staying away from the flamboyant gays and anything homosexual in general, you seemed to have missed a spot
Sincerely, your son, brother, or best friend- I'm gay.