Dear locker room,
Oh. Hi. Well this is awkward...
Sincerely, in the closet
Dear male gynecologist,
"Please remove your bottom underwear"
Sincerely, How hard is it to say panties?
Dear British friend,
Please, continue to give me that adorably freaked-out face when you say 'I'll drive!' and end up on the passenger's side.
Sincerely, truly adorable, but this is gonna suck for your permit test...
Dear kid who came into my class late,
Wow, I love that your mom brought me a note telling me how your dog ate your homework. Actually, I was super excited and entertained by my first "dog ate my homework" note. Hilarious....but then I heard you telling your friends about how you taught your dog to eat paper....
Sincerely, your teacher who knows you are going places
Dear teacher at my school,
Next time you're at the urinal next to a student, just don't say anything.
Sincerely, "whoa, your parents gave you a gift!"
Dear drunk college guys,
I know my lilac bushes look like the perfect place to take a piss on your way home from the bar. However I've got two words for you: Electric Fence.
Sincerely, I can't wait to see this.
Dear person next to me on the bus,
Sorry, I'm not staring, I'm trying to figure out your life story.
Sincerely, watches too much Sherlock
Dear kids that say my parents must be obsessed with Twilight,
I was named Bella after the psycho killer Death Eater Bellatrix, not some muggle pretending to be a vampire.
Sincerely, wait until I tell Voldy...
Please invest in the possibility of brain bleach.
Sincerely, just walked in on my parents
Dear Aquatics Teacher at school,
Thank you for mindlessly moving on when my gay best friend said he couldn’t swim because he was on his period.
Sincerely, Is this why you teach gym?
Does this proton make my mass look big?
Dear Starbucks Barista,
I'll have a venti mocha cappuccino upside down double blended extra hot two shots of espresso three pumps of vanilla soy milk heavy cream and a tall water.
Sincerely, just kidding! But you should've seen your face
Today in class the girl next to me was trimming her split ends and the two people in front of me were having a breath holding competition.
Sincerely, I'm in med school... Meet your future doctors.
Dear girl in my civics class,
Did you seriously just ask the teacher why Alaska is so cold if it's next to Hawaii?!
Sincerely, Trying to conceal my laughter and wondering how you made it past the 2nd grade at the same time...
That girl you stared at from across the street, slapped your buddy, pointed, then proceded to whistle at. That was me. I dyed my hair. Thanks for the compliment.
Sincerely, bet you want me back now, don't you?