Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
I find it quiet funny your sponsored by Nike.
Sincerely, "Just do it"
Dear "I wasn't that drunk",
Dude, you were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa.
Sincerely, yes, yes you were
My step daughter talked to animals, lived with 7 old men, let strangers into the house, and married a man who went around kissing dead girls. And you wanted me to let her rule my kingdom?
Sincerely, the not-so-evil queen
Just because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years does not mean you can refer to his parents as "the in-laws"
Sincerely, you almost gave dad a heart attack...
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Sincerely, Belle is French, Pocahontas is Native American, and Ariel lives under freaking water.
Dear Mary Poppins,
We have been informed that you have used magic is front of muggles. Your trail is set for next Friday at eight.
Sincerely, the Ministry of Magic
Dear whoever stole my Amazon package,
I can understand why you'd need thirty rolls of toilet paper considering you are a huge a-hole.
Sincerely, your friendly neighbor.
Dear awkward silence during test,
Sincerely, stomach of the kid who is now being stared at.
Dear little boy,
When your mom asked you what you wanted to drink, I was not expecting you to say "booze".
Sincerely, amused waitress
When you told me that the USB port on the laptop is ''female'' because the male always goes into the female... What part of that sounded OK in your head?
Sincerely, choking on my apple juice.
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Sincerely, but everything else was made in china
Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Sincerely, Oh Wait!
Dear parents writing their will,
I promise that comment was not directed at you. There was a beetle in the carpet.
Sincerely, DIE FOUL CREATURE!!!!!!
Do your tights chafe as bad as mine?