Dear bitter women,
Please understand that all men aren't the same. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I offered him a 3sum (two girls) for his 28th birthday and he declined saying he only had eyes for me.
Sincerely, happily engaged.
Dear self thats staring back at me in the mirror,
You aren't the same girl you used to be.. You're too large to be her.. Lets go get healthy again.
Sincerely, an unhealthy girl with body image issues
Dear men obsessed with blowjobs,
What's so intriguing about putting a very sensitive part of your anatomy into a cavity with teeth?
Sincerely, curious woman
I always think it's funny when you say to never text your ex no matter how long it's been
Sincerely, my ex is my best friend and I text him all the time
Dear boy who called me a coward for not catching a ball coming right at me,
Can you not see the splint on my right hand index finger?
Sincerely, a right handed girl who doesn't want to hurt her finger again, in the same way
Dear math teacher who's asking what f(x) is,
A tv channel!
Sincerely, didn't see that one coming
Dear angry neighbor,
If your dog runs out of your driveway and in front of my bike with no warning, you do not get to yell at me because I almost ran over it. Your negligence is not my problem; feel lucky that I managed to brake before it was too late.
Sincerely, your irritated neighbor
Dear Prince Charming,
I changed my mind, I'm going back to sleep.
Sincerely, sleeping beauty
Dear frat house across from the practice field,
Please do not blast a metronome with a different tempo from what we're playing to screw us up. It was funny the first 5 minutes, not the whole hour and a half long rehearsal.
Sincerely, 380 band kids that now hate you
Dear "did your Russian grandparents see the meteor?",
Can your American aunt see the Statue of Liberty from her Sacramento apartment?
Sincerely, they live on the Baltic!
Please stop assuming just because I stay at my boyfriends I'm going to get pregnant
Sincerely, last night we fell asleep playing Zelda
Please love me
Sincerely, I'm sorry if I have been a burden
Dear German Guy,
Please keep in touch with me.
Sincerely, American girl that is crushing on you, Hard.
Please stop calling me stupid, I am trying. I really want to be smart too.
Sincerely, That kid with the learning disability who studies for hours and hours a night just to be normal.