Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear police,
I'm not drunk,
Dear boys who ask why girls wear bras if they "have nothing to put in them",,
Please explain why you wear pants then...
Dear Dad,
If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.
Dear Teachers,
You give me impossible homework, I give you impossible handwriting.
Dear world,
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Dear Voldemort,
Why aren't you a unicorn?
Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Dear History Teacher,
Kind of ironic I failed my presentation by not being loud enough.
Dear history teacher who told a kid in my class to stop making fun of mormons because "You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your religion,
He is mormon.
Dear Prince Charming,
You really didn't think we'd find out? It's time to chose buddy!
Dear Grandma,
Why thank you, I am very ingenious and am going to rule the technological world because I knew how to fix your computer.
Dear future students,
If I ever become a teacher, I will seat you based on who would be a cute couple
Dear US,
If pizza is a vegetable because it has tomatoes in it, that means vodka is a vegetable too.
Dear Squirrel in my yard,
Just because you froze in place, doesn`t mean you`re invisible.
Dear Math,
We have a son. His name is Algebra.
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