Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
I find it quiet funny your sponsored by Nike.
Dear "I wasn't that drunk",
Dude, you were asking my cat why he killed Mufasa.
Dear world,
My step daughter talked to animals, lived with 7 old men, let strangers into the house, and married a man who went around kissing dead girls. And you wanted me to let her rule my kingdom?
Dear Mom,
Just because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years does not mean you can refer to his parents as "the in-laws"
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Dear Mary Poppins,
We have been informed that you have used magic is front of muggles. Your trail is set for next Friday at eight.
Dear whoever stole my Amazon package,
I can understand why you'd need thirty rolls of toilet paper considering you are a huge a-hole.
Dear awkward silence during test,
GUUUUUUUUUURRGLLLLLLLLLE!!!!
Dear little boy,
When your mom asked you what you wanted to drink, I was not expecting you to say "booze".
Dear dad,
When you told me that the USB port on the laptop is ''female'' because the male always goes into the female... What part of that sounded OK in your head?
Dear hipsters,
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Dear Slutty Girls at School,
Ever have one of those nightmares where you show up to school in your underwear?
Dear parents writing their will,
I promise that comment was not directed at you. There was a beetle in the carpet.
Dear Batman,
Do your tights chafe as bad as mine?
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Boo, you whore.
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