Dear dads friends,
Please realize you give me the best stories to tell my friends.
Sincerely, the 13 year old girl who just shot your AK47.
The fact that you cover your self in icing really says something about your self esteem.
Dear Teachers and Students,
Please speak louder? To me I'm yelling.
Sincerely, "Shy" Kids who have excellent hearing
Please I give up you can have peach it's been 30 years I'm tired
No. For the last time, I'm not irish. I know I have red hair and green eyes, and yes I'm sure I'm not irish.
Sincerely, 75% German and 25% dutch.
Why do you automatically assume I am sick when I sit on the floor in the middle of class?
Sincerely, it's comfortable
Please understand, I'm not taking days off sick even thought that's what I tell you. I'm taking days off to go for job interviews so I can get the hell out of your terribly run, horrendously understaffed and all round shitty company.
Sincerely, I resign.
Please come back. I know things were rough when I was in school, but they'll be different now. We can order pizza and hang out for hours, just after I get my work done, or when I get another job where I can bring you along.
Sincerely, apologizing neglecter
You have 7 or 8 teachers. I have minimum 20 students in your class alone, and you aren't the only class I teach.
Dear College Board,
Sincerely, Frustrated Student
Please beam me up, I'm ready to leave this mad mess behind.
Sincerely, little or preferably NO probing, please.
Dear university science departments,
Why do you schedule all the midterms/finals in the same week?!
Sincerely, stressed out college student
If it's not an online course, please do not put 100% of the material online.
Sincerely, student who signed up solely because it was not an online or hybrid course.
You being a vegan is admirable. You snidely berating our customers for eating meat is not. You are the idiot who chose to get a job at Burger King.
Sincerely, no wonder you aren't being promoted.
Dear bank employee,
Wait, what? My ID expired yesterday, so you can't cash this check? What, did I suddenly not become me when the ID expired? It is still very obviously my picture, and the only reason you need to see it is to confirm that I am who I say I am.
Sincerely, hope your policies can be expanded to include logic