Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
Dear boy in my class,
My sister was raped less than a week ago. She's been in hospital since then, she's terrified of any strange man, and she has nightmares every night. And you dared to come up to me and say it was her fault she was raped because she wore a short skirt?!
Dear everyone,
Please discuss: If you had the power of telekinesis, how would you use it first? Most frequently? What funny mishaps would you encounter/avoid?
Dear police,
I caught my neighbour's sons in the act of spray-painting "WHORE" onto my car, and instead of investigating them for vandalism you warned me for racism (because they're Pakistani) and Islamophobia (because they're Muslim)?
Dear fly,
How many times must I swat at you before you learn that I don't appreciate you flying around in aimless circles in front of my eyes?
Dear Steve Jobs,
Please come down from heaven and smite the idiots who are trying to make phablets a thing. Phablets should have been a trend which died long ago, because why the heck are we reverting back to brick phones?!
Dear couple at the store,
Please don't judge me for running into things while on my phone. My best friend is in Germany and the time zones only let us talk now.
Dear people who think everyone will learn to be tolerant,
They won't. People will always shun or distrust people who are different. It's instinct.
Dear America,
Please vote for me. I AM the lesser evil this time!
Dear world,
What's the difference between transsexual and transgender? One of my friends says there is no difference, but another says there is...
Dear Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump,
Please realize that very close to NONE of the votes you will get in the upcoming election will be cast because the voter wants you to win. They will be cast for you because the voters feel they cannot allow the other one of you to win. Your candidacies are not mandates by the People, they are merely the sad result of decades of partisanship and bad policies.
Dear little brother,
Next time you lose a bet and have to do the laundry, please PLEASE ask Mum how to work the machine first! I still don't know why you thought putting reds in with whites was a good idea.
Dear academically challenged friend,
Please stop aiming your anger at me. Sure, I'll let you complain about our teachers and how you don't understand anything in our classes, but please, for the sake of my sanity, don't dismiss the solutions I am presenting to you. I am voluntarily offering you my time and energy to help you understand more, and hopefully do better. It's the least you could do to return the favor.
Dear interviewers,
Thank you for giving me feedback on my unsuccessful application. But for fuck sake, stop saying "other candidates were more experienced". IN WHAT WAY?! Its no help to me as I'm trying to get the experience but nobody is letting me because I'm not experienced enough and every single time, other candidates are more experienced.
Dear lunatics,
Please stop killing people in the name of my religion. It's stupid and explicitly contradicted by the Qur'an