Dear girl that calls me every night,
Please realize I don't care how far apart we are I still want to be with only you.
Sincerely, we will make it work
Nous Sommes Unis.
Sincerely, the rest of the world
You decided to not be involved in my life for twenty years, but now want to be apart of it once you realized my major can lead to a prestigious and well-paying career?
Sincerely, Yeah, I Don't Think So
Dear People who say that "Gays are equal" and "Everyone can have their own opinions on their lives",
Why is it that I can't have my own opinion to say that I don't approve of homosexuality? Maybe I find it unnatrual that woman are with woman and men are with men. SHOW ME HOW YOU REPRODUCE?!
Sincerely, A very annoyed Christain who is tired of being called a hater.
Dear Cheating Ex-Wife,
Please stop trying so hard. Really, it's pathetic you think you still have a chance. It's been 4 years since your divorce, and you aren't even half the woman I am. So please stop embarrassing yourself, he's only tolerating you because he loves his daughter.
Sincerely, I'm not going anywhere
Dear sanctimonious people who pride themselves on not using E-Books,
Please realize that while I do love physical books, E-books are cheaper and more portable. Plus if I were to buy each book on my E-reader in it's physical form, I'd have to make my house of bookshelves to git them all.
Sincerely, a person who just love reading in general and doesn't like hearing snide comments all the time
Dear middle schoolers,
How on EARTH are some of you pregnant?
Sincerely, sixteen and never even held hands
Dear Taylor Swift,
"I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue Than spend one more minute with you." THAT'S how you write a break-up song
Sincerely, Weird Al
I'm not modest, I just wasn't expecting you to suddenly open the front of my hospital gown without any warning.
Sincerely, are EKGs supposed to be this ackward?
Dear certain Christians,
I think there are better things to get upset about than Starbucks' holiday coffee cups.
Sincerely, a Christian
Please tell me you found that ressurection stone. I just want to say goodbye one last time
Please stop commenting on my 'small mouth' and how that might be inconvenient for me later on. Especially when you then feel the need to talk me through gagging around the trays.
Sincerely, I don't need you smiling down at me...
Thanks for getting me into reading.
Dear Friends and Family,
Please understand that how much I spend on your gifts is in no way a reflection on how much I love you.
Sincerely, Super Couponers.
Dear people who lump me with Snow White and Sleeping Beauty,
Please realise I did not go to the Ball to find love, it just so happened that I found my love there. I just really really wanted to go to that ball and have a fun night away from the house.