We have a son. His name is Algebra.
Dear "this assignment can't be done the night before",
You're right. It can be done at lunch the day it's due.
Sincerely, a true procrastinator
Dear moms in Todlers in Tiaras,
I think your on the wrong show...
Sincerely, biggest loser.
Dear Mum and Dad,
You are both white, I am at least part Asian. Please understand, I have known for a while. It's not that shocking.
Sincerely, just told I was adopted
We only ask you questions because we think it's funny to watch you try to talk with stuff in your mouth.
Dear movie theater janitors sword fighting in the hall with your brooms,
You made my day.
Sincerely, happy customer.
Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Sincerely, you strip in front of 20 guys while I'm backstage with 30 girls.
Dear "This Project Cannot Be Completed The Night Before",,
You wanna tell that to my 100 plus 5 bonus points for creativity?
Dear girl sitting next to me in class,
Believe it or not, France IS a French speaking country! Who knew?
Sincerely, you're passing how?
Dear "he doesn't even notice me",
Have you tried introducing yourself?
Sincerely, I hear that works wonders
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Sincerely, the look on your face was priceless
Dear People overusing the word "friendzoned",
you haven't been friendzoned until you actually tell them you like them.
Sincerely, you're just in the no balls zone
Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Sincerely, just kidding, but your face was priceless considering I'm 15
It's okay, I can't hug anyone either.