Dear Prince Eric,
Who had to explain the "Human" ways of love-making to Ariel?
Sincerely, thingamabob has a whole new meaning.
Dear my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard,
And I'm like...
Sincerely, this is private property
Please name your son Sam.
Dear Ceiling Fan,
Was it really necessary to decapitate the Angel?
Sincerely, Our Christmas tree looks like a crime scene
Dear guy I asked to get a pencil out of my backpack,
I love how you made sure exactly which pocket it was before unzipping anything.
Sincerely, it's obvious you've unzipped wrong zippers on a girl's backpack before
Dear "monster under the bed",
If you can actually fit under my bed you deserve to eat me.
Sincerely, I've tried
Dear Pinky Toe,
Sincerely, Coffee Table
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Sincerely, the smart girl who knows you stuff your bra
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Poole,
Thanks for naming your daughter Jean.
Sincerely, easily amused.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Sincerely, how does Casa Blanca sound?
Dear person not paying attention,
I know you don't see me, but you will feel me in 3...2...SLAM!!
Sincerely, the glass door you just walked into
You shouldn't make jokes about tampons, period.
Apparently size does matter.
Dear fellow gays,
Is it weird that I think homophobes are sexy?
Sincerely, They're kinda cute when they're telling me that I'm going to hell