Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Math,
We have a son. His name is Algebra.
Dear "this assignment can't be done the night before",
You're right. It can be done at lunch the day it's due.
Dear moms in Todlers in Tiaras,
I think your on the wrong show...
Dear Mum and Dad,
You are both white, I am at least part Asian. Please understand, I have known for a while. It's not that shocking.
Dear Patients,
We only ask you questions because we think it's funny to watch you try to talk with stuff in your mouth.
Dear movie theater janitors sword fighting in the hall with your brooms,
You made my day.
Dear Jocks,
Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Dear "This Project Cannot Be Completed The Night Before",,
You wanna tell that to my 100 plus 5 bonus points for creativity?
Dear girl sitting next to me in class,
Believe it or not, France IS a French speaking country! Who knew?
Dear "he doesn't even notice me",
Have you tried introducing yourself?
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Dear People overusing the word "friendzoned",
you haven't been friendzoned until you actually tell them you like them.
Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Dear T-rex,
It's okay, I can't hug anyone either.
Dear sisters's boyfriend,,
Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.
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