Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Chocolate lovers month? I see what you did there.
Dear Everyone,
Come to the geek side. We have pi.
Dear English guys,
Girls may love your accent, but when I say "Potato", every uterus within a 50 mile radius explodes.
Dear cookie-scented hand sanitizer,
Please stop smelling so amazing. I don't think I can spare any more brain cells.
Dear friend asking me if im racist,
Nope! I hate all people equally.
Dear mom who just screwed up my medical form,
So I have asthma bronchitis cancer and I'm pregnant?
Dear man trying to sell my mom something,
My brothers are screaming and throwing things at each other. My sister is singing Disney songs as pound and off key as possible. My dad is in boxers and I'm running around screaming Harry Potter spells.
Dear Dumbledore,
You should really think about doing background checks on new teachers
Dear Target,
Nice going, putting the "Junior Clothing", "Intimate Apparel" and the "Baby Essentials" sections all in a row....
Dear tree,
I'd tap that
Dear Society,
I'm not single.
Dear church,
My new robe is supposed to be holy, not holey.
Dear everyone that says "SAT Test",
What on Earth do you think the 'T' stands for?!
Dear teacher,
Thank you ever so much for having all 28 of us use sharpies to make a chart that lasted the whole class period.
Dear 'I wasn't that drunk!',
Dude, when the intercom came on in the supermarket you fell on your knees yelling, 'God has spoken.'
THIS IS PAGE 5
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