Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear dentist,
Please don't say uh-oh while working on my mouth...
Dear British boys in the row in front of me,
WHY ARE YOU NOT MORE TALKATIVE!?
Dear people who make fun of me for being single,
I'm not single. I'm simply in a long distant relationship with my boyfriend who is in the future.
Dear amazing boyfriend,
Please tell me that when I jokingly said "you'd have to marry me" and you said "challenge accepted", you were being serious.
Dear curious patient,
I think it was at the beginning of my teen years.
Dear McDonalds,
Buying a salad from you is like asking a whore for a hug.
Dear vegetarians,
Ever thought of calling yourselves herbivores? Sounds a bit cooler...
Dear Math teacher who insists we wait for the bell,
31 > 1.
Dear person who just asked me if I cut my hair,
No, I died the ends invisible.
Dear girl scouts,
$4.25 per box?!
Dear girl who asked my overweight friend when she was due,
I loved the look on your face when she replied, "I don't know, ask your boyfriend."
Dear Pandora,
Thank you for playing "Eye of the Tiger" as I submitted my 27-page term paper online.
Dear little sister,
Working as a glassblower does not mean I "...do blowjobs" all day...
Dear Americans,
"Gay" means happy or jolly, "queer" means odd or strange, "retarded" means slowed or hindered, "dumb" means unable to speak, and "lame" means incapable of walking.
Dear English teacher,
Thank you for using analogies from The Lion King to explain Hamlet.
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