Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear celebrities,
I know how you feel. Everyone is searching for me too.
Dear Waldo,
Please return my invisibility cloak. This prank on the muggles has gone on long enough.
Dear doctor,
For the tenth time, yes I'm sure I'm not pregnant.
Dear toilet seat in the woman's bathroom,
Why is your lid up?
Dear boys,
You send out more mixed signals than Helen Keller directing traffic.
Dear Glee,
Ruining good songs was OUR idea!
Dear Bellatrix,
I think you killed the wrong Black.
Dear seedy looking moustache on my upper lip,
Please grow to a respectable size.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Dear music teacher,
You say flute, I say snarfblad.
Dear homework,
You are the only thing I don't want to do.
Dear old women shopping at Forever 21,
Forever 41 is next door...
Dear person who just said that "we make a cute couple",
He's my brother.
Dear beer belly ,
Bet you wish you had a six pack, huh?
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