Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear tiny little cut from shaving my legs,
If you are so small that i can't see you, you aren't allowed to bleed like that.
Dear tough guy that isn't afraid of anything,
Boo!!
Dear Ariel,
You could have just written down what you wanted to say...
Dear brother,
Listening to rap music does not make you "gangsta."
Dear schools trying to save money by using single ply toilet paper,
I'm just going to keep unraveling until I get my desired thickness.
Dear Universities ,
He got in with all a 2.0 because he's black. She got in with a 2.8 because she's native American. Yet I have. 3.9 and I got the letter that started with "we are sorry to inform you..."
Dear ABC,
My "secret life" consists of dancing around my living room singing Hakuna Matata at the top of my lungs.
Dear world,
Grammar is the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse.
Dear creepers on Omegle,
Really? I'm horny too! Here's my picture...
Dear hormones,
You have given me acne, cramps, bloating, crazy cravings, bipolar hair and exhaustion for years, but somehow I'm still flat as a door. Did you just use all your powers on my misery?
Dear homophobes,
Two men kissing means two women available.
Dear muscle man at the gym ,
Please stop groaning like you're giving birth while you exercise...
Dear sex education teacher,
I really didn't want to know about how your first child was conceived.
Dear "are you pregnant?",
Err... Yeah... Let's go with that...
Dear fellow students,
If a teacher catches you asleep, slowly raise your head to the sky and say,"Amen."
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