Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Prince Eric,
Who had to explain the "Human" ways of love-making to Ariel?
Dear my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard,
And I'm like...
Dear Will.I.Am,
Please name your son Sam.
Dear Ceiling Fan,
Was it really necessary to decapitate the Angel?
Dear guy I asked to get a pencil out of my backpack,
I love how you made sure exactly which pocket it was before unzipping anything.
Dear "monster under the bed",
If you can actually fit under my bed you deserve to eat me.
Dear Pinky Toe,
BAM!!!!!!
Dear girl who says she has double D's,
You must be talking about your grades, right?
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Poole,
Thanks for naming your daughter Jean.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Dear person not paying attention,
I know you don't see me, but you will feel me in 3...2...SLAM!!
Dear World,
You shouldn't make jokes about tampons, period.
Dear Guys,
Apparently size does matter.
Dear fellow gays,
Is it weird that I think homophobes are sexy?
Dear YOLO,
You wish you could be as cool as me.
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