Dear God of Death,
The friendzone goes both ways. We want out too!
Dear J.K. Rowling,
I am attempting to potty train my child, but she thinks Moaning Myrtle will get her.
Sincerely, a parent who is stuck changing diapers.
Dear fellow teachers,
Try tying the shoelaces together of your students that fall asleep on you.
Sincerely, you'll finally get to teach them a lesson...
Dear high school,
Why am I the outcast in school for wanting to learn and study instead of snogging in the hallway.
Sincerely, a focused teen
You better cry over spilled milk!
Sincerely, milk cows with sore udders
Dear George R. R. Martin,
You're killing me!
Sincerely, and everyone in your books, of course...
Dear "God hates gays",
It clearly states in the bible that God hates nobody. He hates homosexuality as a concept, but not the person who is homosexual.
Sincerely, Please do your research
Dear popular high school classmates,
I look forward to hiring you in the future!
Sincerely, the nerds you picked on...
Maybe the NFL should deflate your ego and your air-heads!
Sincerely, Free Belichick and Brady!
Great job making your first game about Princess Peach not sexist. She just used the power of uncontrollable emotions to float (happy), burn (angry), cry (sad), and heal (calm) her way to the vibe sceptor.
Dear college roommate,
Please remember that when life gives you lemons I'll bring the salt and tequila!
Sincerely, Partying will always help you forget your woes!
Dear Red Riding Hood,
Thank you for believing in me. I do pride myself on being a convincing cross-dresser.
Sincerely, The Big Bad Wolf