Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear crazy lady,
I'm not sure how to respond to that...
Dear people who make fun of me for being pale,
Please realize that 200 years ago of being pale was a sign of wealth and was considered beautiful.
Dear Vice Principal ,
Thank you for visiting us in the middle of my algebra class and saying "do you know when you will actually use this stuff? NEVER!"
Dear guy in my Social Studies class,
Please think before asking what Obama's last name is...
Dear planet Earth,
Sorry about global warming. I've started menopause and I've been having hot flashes.
Dear parents who say looks don't matter,
If looks don't matter, then why do you get upset when I go out to dinner in sweats?
Dear "In the event of a fire what steps should you take",
Freakn' large ones.
Dear parents who tell me not to talk to strangers,
So now you want me to sit on this random old man's lap, and tell him what I want.
Dear "don't hate me cause I'm beautiful",
Don't worry we don't.
Dear Americans awaiting their Hogwarts letters,
Please note that since you live in America, it is much more likely that you would be attending the Salem Witches Institute.
Dear boys who say I throw like a girl,
I am a girl, what's your excuse?
Dear Victoria,
Everyone knows I'm your secret!
Dear cute football player who likes me,
I was doing really good at not falling for you, until you admitted your deep love for Harry Potter.
Dear people who tell me not to talk with food in my mouth,
Please don't talk to me while I'm chewing.
Dear people in books,
Why are your lives so much more interesting than mine?
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