Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear Virgin Islands,
Yeah, that was your name before I got there. Now you're called The Islands.
Dear waitress,
Why did you bring me a BILL?
Dear gansta,
Why you trippin'?
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
Aren't violets more of a violet?
Dear U.S. government,
My teacher taught me that "pro" and "con" are opposites. So wouldn't the opposite of progress be...?
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear Bella Swan,
Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Dear Twilight fans,
The closest thing we have to vampires here are mosquitoes.
Dear children of today,
You can be anything you want to be!
Dear cold,
You've made me cough so hard my abs are starting to hurt.
Dear world,
Please leave me alone today. I have PMS and GPS....
Dear gummy worms,
If I cut you in half, will you grow a new body?
Dear Selena Gomez,
Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend.
Dear MC Hammer,
I can touch that...
Dear mom,
Whine and scream all I want...?
THIS IS PAGE 6
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