Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
Dear America,
Please vote for me. I AM the lesser evil this time!
Dear world,
What's the difference between transsexual and transgender? One of my friends says there is no difference, but another says there is...
Dear Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump,
Please realize that very close to NONE of the votes you will get in the upcoming election will be cast because the voter wants you to win. They will be cast for you because the voters feel they cannot allow the other one of you to win. Your candidacies are not mandates by the People, they are merely the sad result of decades of partisanship and bad policies.
Dear little brother,
Next time you lose a bet and have to do the laundry, please PLEASE ask Mum how to work the machine first! I still don't know why you thought putting reds in with whites was a good idea.
Dear academically challenged friend,
Please stop aiming your anger at me. Sure, I'll let you complain about our teachers and how you don't understand anything in our classes, but please, for the sake of my sanity, don't dismiss the solutions I am presenting to you. I am voluntarily offering you my time and energy to help you understand more, and hopefully do better. It's the least you could do to return the favor.
Dear interviewers,
Thank you for giving me feedback on my unsuccessful application. But for fuck sake, stop saying "other candidates were more experienced". IN WHAT WAY?! Its no help to me as I'm trying to get the experience but nobody is letting me because I'm not experienced enough and every single time, other candidates are more experienced.
Dear lunatics,
Please stop killing people in the name of my religion. It's stupid and explicitly contradicted by the Qur'an
Dear America,
Please realize that I, a gay Muslim, exist. Stop pretending like those are mutually exclusive identities, and allow us to grieve in peace.
Dear foodcourt customers,
If you haven't finished your food, then have somebody at your table to "guard" your food. If that is not possible, take the food with you, or at the very least, tell the foodcourt attendants that you haven't finished. Otherwise, we will assume you have finished and left. Don't say "but I hadn't finished" because you'd be surprised how many meals are only half eaten then thrown out.
Dear "friend" who assaulted me on my birthday last year,
You've turned what should be a wonderful day for me into something I've been dreading all year. Instead of waking up happy, I woke terrifed after a nightmare replaying the attack over and over again.
Dear high school health teacher,
Please consider taking one day out of the "horrors of gonorrhea" unit to explain the words transgendered, transexual, the difference between them, and how it's not that weird a thing anymore, so the other students stop asking me personal details about my brother's life. I'm seventeen and sick of doing your job.
Dear woman parked next to me in the supermarket car park,
You stopped me as I was getting into my car and said that I was destroying the environment because I had five children. Number one, I have only two children; the other three are my sister's children. Number two, it's none of your business how many children I have or don't have. Number three, you accuse me of destroying the environment, but don't think I didn't notice the plastic bags you were holding as you got into your jeep.
Dear doctor,
I'm anemic. I'm fairly clumsy. I have a high pain tolerance and a physically active job. So, no, I do not think it's strange that I cannot explain where every single bruise came from. If you really want to help me, quit belaboring the "are you SUUUURE you feel safe at home?" question and work to fix the anemia.
Dear parents,
Please realize that I don't tell you what is going on in my life because you always freak out and make me feel ashamed. I feel like a daughter should be able to confide in her parents no matter the situation, I wish I had that.
Dear America,
The real problem with this election is that one of them is going to win.