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Dear pimples,
If you absolutely must form on my face, please keep away from my facial hair.
Dear Teen girls who are obsessed with having a thigh gap,
I win.
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
Please stop calling your brother fat. You give each other a lot of crap, but it's clear he loves you, can't you love him too?
Dear ex-girlfriend,
Please stop talking badly about me to our friends for not inviting you to parties because I'm not over you. Last time you came, you vomited because I "make you feel sick".
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
Please look at me. Your dating one of my best friends and I am okay with that. We are bound to meet in social gatherings, so please help me fix this weird gap. Because I don't want his awkwardness to hurt your current relationship that would simply hurt me even more.
Girl I Complemented on the Subway,
Please understand that when a guy compliments you, he's not trying to get laid. I just thought you deserved a compliment.
Dear girlfriend,
Please understand that I really am trying to get better and that I know you're here for me. I'm sorry I'm such a drag all the time and I'm also sorry that I'm so jealous. I really do love you more than anything and I know I'm a lot to put up with.
Dear Delivery Team,
Please do remember to put the item you're supposed to deliver in the delivery truck next time. At the very least, call the person you're supposed to deliver that item to during the delivery window you provided and tell them you won't make it. Making a customer sit around for 3 hours past that window just to be told that the item won't arrive today is very unprofessional.
Dear People of the USA,
Please You've got to know that the electoral college is actually on it's way out... Like... one state has already changed the way voting goes so that the actual people's vote is what gets represented ( not this whole, oh so and so won our state by like 2% so every vote goes for so and so). Seriously, vote for who you want, not what everyone else is saying the only viable option is. "Only one of the two will win" is only a thing because everyone believes it's a thing.
Dear mother,
Please stop stalking me. I truly hope you know Find My iPhone doesn't always work in rural locations.
Dear those who are heartbroken,
Please know you can survive it! It may take a long time. You may feel weak, fragile and shattered. Time does heal, the pain will ease even if doesn't seem like it at the moment. You might not be the same, that is okay. Focus on the new you and what you really want, despite how hard that may be. Losing love can hurt physically and emotionally. Remember to forgive yourself. Always forgive yourself!
Dear Fireworks,
Okay, have your fun, feel free to explode and create all the noise on the night of the 4th. Just don't keep me up every night for an entire month like you do EVERY FREAKING YEAR.
Dear NRA and other gun supporters,
Please stop using Venezuela as an example of what happens when you regulate firearms. The country has corrupt police run by corrupt politicians, crippling poverty from a broken economy with massive inflation, and is a haven for criminal organisations like drug cartels. It is in no way comparable to the US. Regulation also does not mean an outright ban.
Dear people around me,
Are you staring at me or is it just my imagination?
Dear boyfriend,
I told you before we started dating that I wouldn't have sex with you before we were married. You agreed. But for the last month you've done nothing but try to convince me to have sex with you, but say you don't want to get married yet. When I remind you of our agreement, you ignore me.