Deer spell check,
Eye don't trust ewe!
Sincerely, college stew dent.
Dear "Do you have a hall pass?",
I'm 24. Do I really look young enough to be in middle school?
Sincerely, just dropping off my cousin's homework.
Dear Little Mermaid,
I think you being my favorite childhood movie is why the thought of eating fish disgusts me.
Sincerely, oh my gosh Mom, you just ate FLOUNDER!!!!
Please stop walking into me.
Dear person reading this,
Sincerely, you didn't see the 'banana' did you? ;)
Dear girls who use the period excuse every gym class,
I think you need to see a doctor if you have your period this much.
Sincerely, even as a male gym teacher, I had to take a few classes about the body.
When is the iTampon coming out?
Dear couple in line at Walmart,
Don't you think you should of bought the condoms first?
Sincerely, laughing at the pregnancy test hiding under the box of condoms.
Dear "money can't by you happiness",
That may be true, but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini.
WTF does not mean "way too funny".
Sincerely, just died of laughter.
Dear football players,
You may make the cheerleaders show up but we decide when they dance.
Dear Stephanie Meyer ,
So you based Twilight off of a dream? "It does not do to dwell on dreams..."
Sincerely, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Dear Psychology class,
Thanks for the tips.
Sincerely, using operant conditioning on my roommates.
If I watch you backwards, you're a movie about a magical ship that brings a thousand people back to life and they all have a great party and go to England. THE END!!!