Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear tree,
I'd tap that
Dear Society,
I'm not single.
Dear church,
My new robe is supposed to be holy, not holey.
Dear everyone that says "SAT Test",
What on Earth do you think the 'T' stands for?!
Dear teacher,
Thank you ever so much for having all 28 of us use sharpies to make a chart that lasted the whole class period.
Dear 'I wasn't that drunk!',
Dude, when the intercom came on in the supermarket you fell on your knees yelling, 'God has spoken.'
Dear world,
BAZINGA!!!
Dear crush/best guy friend,,
When The teacher yelled at me for putting on makeup in class, thanks for grabbing my compact and eyeliner and whining "But I only have one eye done!!!"
Dear roomie,
When I told you that I'm a deep sleeper, I meant it as an explanation for sometimes not hearing my alarm clock right away. I did not mean it as permission for you to have sex with your boyfriend three feet away from me during finals week.
Dear health teacher,
You paired the only two people up in the class who have never dated anyone, and told them to talk about past relationships?
Dear people looking at me weird,
What? you haven't seen a 14 year old girl with a cape and a viking helmet ride freely on a trike before?
Dear Girls,
Please dont assume that I'm undressing you with my eyes.
Dear monsters inc.,
mike and sully live together, adopted a human, and came out of the closet
Dear male hikers,
While you are still arguing over who gets to put their tent the flat spot, the only girl in the group has set up her tent, cooked her dinner, and is eating it by the fire she built.
Dear mosquito,
How did you manage to lift up my boob, and bite me?
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