Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Sincerely, you strip in front of 20 guys while I'm backstage with 30 girls.
Dear "This Project Cannot Be Completed The Night Before",,
You wanna tell that to my 100 plus 5 bonus points for creativity?
Dear girl sitting next to me in class,
Believe it or not, France IS a French speaking country! Who knew?
Sincerely, you're passing how?
Dear "he doesn't even notice me",
Have you tried introducing yourself?
Sincerely, I hear that works wonders
Dear "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!",
No, but I do kiss your wife.
Sincerely, the look on your face was priceless
Dear People overusing the word "friendzoned",
you haven't been friendzoned until you actually tell them you like them.
Sincerely, you're just in the no balls zone
Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Sincerely, just kidding, but your face was priceless considering I'm 15
It's okay, I can't hug anyone either.
Dear sisters's boyfriend,,
Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.
Sincerely, her forensic scientist older brother
All our lives we are led up to believe that you are this great and cultured poet. Then we read the first scene of Romeo and Juliet and you are telling sex jokes.
Sincerely, But You Make It Sound So Serious...
Dear high school teachers,
You say you prepare us for college. College teachers say they prepare us for the "real world." Well, in the real world, we pretty much do the same things we do in pre-school. Sit down and try not to break anything.
Sincerely, just stating the facts...
Yes, this deer could be Bambi's mother, but that cucumber could be Larry.
Sincerely, I'll have venison, thank you very much
Dear freshmen boys trying to grow a moustache,
Sorry, but um... You have a little bit of dirt... Yeah right there.
Sincerely, very amused junior girl
Dear chemistry teacher,
Why is the class amused? I believe it's quite self-explanatory...
Sincerely, "Rutherford concluded that his balls could be tiny or massive."