Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear music teacher,
You say flute, I say snarfblad.
Dear homework,
You are the only thing I don't want to do.
Dear old women shopping at Forever 21,
Forever 41 is next door...
Dear person who just said that "we make a cute couple",
He's my brother.
Dear beer belly ,
Bet you wish you had a six pack, huh?
Dear Charlie Brown,
Wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wua wuwaaaaaaaaaaaa, wuwuwu wua wuwua.
Dear Disney,
Why are all the princesses only 16 in the movies and marry after only a few days of knowing the prince?
Dear China,
What do you call your nice dinner plates?
Dear lime,
I want you inside of me, so we can shake it all up.
Dear minivan with the TV in the back,
Please stop switching lanes. I was watching that.
Dear radio alarm clock,
Thanks for waking me up with Eminem. I needed it.
Dear girl who tortured me in high school,
You're lucky I'm not mean!
Dear music Industry ,
I can sing love songs, dress myself in meat, and use autotune to make myself sound better.
Dear. people. who. type. like. this. ,
It. doesn't. make. your. point. any. stronger.
Dear nerds,
If you guys all put your heads together and find a cure for periods, we will all date you.
THIS IS PAGE 6
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