Don't have sex. You will get chlamydia and die.
Sincerely, Coach Carr
Please see a doctor. If your heart grew three sizes in one day, you may have Aortic Stinosis.
Dear 2 year old ,
Thank you for yelling IM RAINING while you are potty training
Sincerely, amused older sister
Dear public school kids,
...and you think your sex ed is awkward
Sincerely, homeschooled with a pregnant mother
No, I do not need you to give me "the talk".
Sincerely, 35 and married.
Please stop using the saying "Till the cows come home"
Sincerely, We live on a farm... They are home.
Your mom thought I was big enough.
Dear male nurse who handed me over to a female nurse so that it wouldn't be awkward when he put EKG sensors on my chest,
Please realize that having a female do this is even more awkward.
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Sincerely, you made my day
Dear "I wasn't that drunk!",
Please dude, you walked up to a semi-truck and whispered "I know your secret, Optimus Prime."
Sincerely, yes you were
My Pap test was awkward enough without you telling me what a nice job I did shaving..
Dear cute girl in my biology class,
I wish I was DNA Helicase, because then I could unzip your genes.
Sincerely, your nerdy lab partner
Dear girl trying to grind with me,
... I'm gay
Sincerely, why did you think I dance so well?
Dear women and werewolves,
Please stop fighting over who has the worse 'time of the month'. I think we win.
Sincerely, female werewolves.