Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear girl at school in PJ pants,
So you didn't have time to slip on decent pants but somehow managed to straighten your hair and put on makeup?
Dear parents,
I have taught your children more than you can imagine...
Dear Disney movies,
Ohhh, I get it now!
Dear Kindergarteners,
If you don't want your nap time, feel free to share the love.
Dear four boys who asked me for my number,
Thanks for waiting until I was right infront of my ex-boyfriend!
Dear kids who go to school,
Sex-ed must be awkward for you, but it's hell for me.
Dear family,
Stop leaving empty cereal boxes in the pantry
Dear Jerry,
I know you're with Ben now, but I really miss you. Please come back. We had such fun together!
Dear extra fat in my body,
You'll be given 2 options. Make your way to my boobs or gtfo.
Dear people who want a device to see through walls,
It has already been invented. It's called a window.
Dear people who think Romeo and Juliet is a romance,
I think of it as more of a one night stand.
Dear legs,
See you again in the spring.
Dear guys in uniform,
Please, carry on.
Dear Webster,
When are you going to add "Muggle" to the dictionary?
Dear dad,
Nobody calls car transmissions "trannies" anymore. Please stop saying "...I blew a tranny the other day."
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