Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear teacher who wants me to go to the bathroom during the previous period,
I would've, but the other teacher told me the same thing.
Dear sex ed teacher,
We weren't laughing cause we were uncomfortable...
Dear boys,
Remember, cleavage is like the sun. It's okay to take a quick look, but staring can be very dangerous.
Dear diary,
Today is day #1247 of my captivity here. I managed to temporarily stun one of my captors by weaving between its legs. Tomorrow I will try this at the top of the stairs, and then make my escape.
Dear x-ray technician,
I know I'm a female college student who was brought into the clinic by my boyfriend, but I promise you, I'm absolutely positive I'm not pregnant. There's no need to ask me four times.
Dear girls of the world,
Cinderella didn't need to take off her dress to get her Prince Charming, and neither do you.
Dear lady sitting away from everyone else with a cigarette in your hand,
You're at a 5k walk/run event to raise money for the awareness of lung cancer.
Dear relatives,
Just because I'm a little hard of hearing, doesn't mean I'm an idiot.
Dear kittens and puppies,
When you sneeze, it's adorable. When I sneeze, it looks like I'm having a seizure.
Dear confusing movie plots,
I'll take it from here.
Dear girl who sits next to me in biology,
Please ignore that un-masculine giggle I just let out.
Dear little kid crying because he dropped his iPad,
If you drop a basketball, soccer ball, baseball, or any other ball, it won't crack open.
Dear "Username or Password is incorrect",
TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A...
Dear LMFAO,
My 3 year old daughter is running around naked in the kitchen singing I'm sexy and I know it.
Dear girls "whispering" during lecture,
We can still hear you. Even the professor knows just how drunk Jessie got.
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