Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
Dear world,
If Pluto isn't a planet because it's a dwarf planet, are dwarves real humans?
Dear male teacher who gives detention for spending more than three minutes in the bathroom,
Have you ever timed yourself putting in a tampon and changing a pad?
Dear mommy,
Thank you for not being mad at me when I woke you up at 4am.
Dear neighbor,
You have curtains, use them.
Dear mom who just asked me if I know what 69 is,
Nope, no idea.
Dear illegal downloading site,
Why is sharing this on twitter or Facebook an option?
Dear puddle on the bathroom floor,
I really hope you're water...
Dear Victoria,
The secret is that there's nothing underneath the bra.
Dear friend with the last name Holmes,
If you don't name your kid Sherlock I'm naming it for you.
Dear Google,
Have you ever thought about making a list of all the crazy things people search?
Dear Tiana the first "minority" Disney Princess,
So, we don't count as minorities anymore?
Dear men with beards,
Do you shampoo your face?
Dear teacher,
Please realize that when you tell us to put our heads down, it is not a punishment.
Dear cute guy on facebook,
If you could see who watched your profile and how often, you'd probably request protective custody...
Dear little kid drawing mustaches on Justin Bieber pictures,
I'd give you props, but mustaches come with puberty...
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