Dear synchronized swimmers,
Do you all have to drown if one of you does?
Dear parents,
Please do not pull the covers off in an attempt to wake me up.
Dear elbow,
I didn't want to touch you anyway...
Dear Jersey Shore cast,
You're getting rich from doing what? Getting drunk and having random sex?
Dear Peach,
It is called the witness protection program.
Dear parents,
Contrary to popular belief, I am not a certified babysitter.
Dear slutty freshmen girls,
This might come as a surprise to you but, your boobs go inside your shirt...
Dear mom,
Please stop asking about characters and plot points two minutes into the movie.
Dear confused teenage girls,
If your boyfriend is sparkly and he doesn't want to have sex with you, he's not a vampire, he's just gay.
Dear geeks,
At least we have a candy named after us...
Dear Apple Jacks,
Why don't you taste like apples?! WHY?!
Dear Taco Bell,
You really don't need to defend the fact that the taco meat is 35% beef, we really don't care.
Dear guy on the treadmill next to mine,
Cologne is not a substitute for deodorant.
Dear boy,
Thanks for drawing a heart on my graphing calculator.
Dear sports,
I just realized that you can buy trophies.
THIS IS PAGE 2
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