Dear anti-gay conservatives,
Homosexuality prevents abortion.
Sincerely, how do you like us now?
Dear people of America,
I am a white, straight, gun-owning, conservative male.
Sincerely, how else can I piss you off today?
Dear Stephanie Meyer ,
So you based Twilight off of a dream? "It does not do to dwell on dreams..."
Sincerely, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Dear teacher who says "I don't know CAN you?" after a I ask if I can go to the bathroom,
When I was using can, I was using it's secondary modal form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought that since you were a teacher, you would know that.
Dear Michael Buble,
Please don't sing Santa Baby.
Sincerely, it was not made for a male to sing.
Dear movie makers,
Now that you've done sparkling vampires, time to do glow-in-the-dark zombies.
Sincerely, it only makes sense...
Please refrain from giving such small coutries such big names.
Sincerely, angry 6th grade student with a map quiz on Eastern Europe.
If you were a triangle you would be acute one.
Sincerely, your girlfriend.
Dear "money can't by you happiness",
That may be true, but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini.
Dear guy who just robbed me and jumped in his car to get away,
Sucks for you. I got your tag number memorized.
Sincerely, photographic memory.
You get mad at me if I wake you, and you get mad at me if I don't!
Sincerely, confused alarm clock.
Dear iTunes ,
Really? $1.29? What's the extra .29 for? Shipping and handling?
Sincerely, a questioning customer.
Dear optimists, pessimists and realists,
The glass is actually 51.1256 % filled.
Dear couple making out in front of my locker,
WHOA, THERE! Um, yeah... You need to go find somewhere else to do that...
Sincerely, freshman who needs to bleach her eyes now.