Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear world,
No, I am not going to shove my religion down your throat. I'm not going to ask for your money. I support your gay marriage and I love my muslim neighbours. I would like the same judge free accpetance, please.
Dear little boy who picked me a flower today,
Don't ever change.
Dear blind uncle who colored with my four-year-old brother to appease him,
You just made my day.
Dear best friend,
Please start eating again.
Dear society,
Why is it that high school mothers and illegal aliens can go to college for free but the rest of us have to be in debt for years?
Dear little brother,
Please always be as sweet as you are right now.
Dear caps lock,
Thank you for allowing me to yell at my friends from a distance.
Dear girl complaining on my facebook about how hard it is being a teen mom,
Solution: Don't get pregnant.
Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
I'm pretty sure the Bible actually teaches love, tolerance, forgiveness, and doing unto others as you would want others to do unto you. What book are you getting all your stuff from?
Dear truck driver who wouldn't let me merge when my lane closed,
Clearly, you forgot about that "how's my driving?" sticker on the back of your trailer.
Dear father who told me crying doesn't help anything,
I just found out crying helps with the flow of serotonin in your brain to boost energy levels and cheer you up.
Dear Kindle,
You know what else you can read in the sun without a glare?
Dear movie producers,
When they say to read the book first, that includes you.
Dear girls wearing designer brands,
Anyone can look good in $300 jeans, but it takes skills to look good in $10 Walmart clothes.
Dear perfectly styled hair,
Why do you only look this good when I'm staying in for the night or when I'm about to shower?
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