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Dear boyfriend 2 years older than me.,
When I turned 18, your didn't ask to have sex with me. When I turned 19, you didn't ask me to run away with you because I was finished highschool. When I turned 21, you didn't ask me to go out drinking and clubbing with you. And when I turned 26 and asked you why you never asked these things, you simply knelt down, pulled out a velvet box and smiled, saying, "There are more important questions to ask you at the moment..."
Dear stereotypes,
Today on the subway in NYC a man wearing big hats and big shoes, rap music blasting from his ipod offered an elderly lady his seat. He bumped into a little boy who was standing there when the train jerked and apologized by calling him "sir."
Dear judgmental people,
Teenage girls who are pregnant didn't get that way all by themselves.
Dear American public,
Please remember that the "American dream" means that it is POSSIBLE for ANYONE to succeed, not that it is GUARANTEED that EVERYONE will succeed.
Dear world,
Why do you only blame girls?
Dear doctors and x-ray technicians,
When I said I'm a virgin that usually means that there is not a chance I'm pregnant.
Dear current parental generation,
Cookie monster is not at fault if your kids don't like vegetables. It's not Spongebob's fault your kids are stupid enough to look for him in the ocean. Television violence is not to blame if your kids hit each other. Bert and Ernie sharing a room will not turn your kids gay.
Dear girlfriend,
When I came home to find you sleeping with your blanket, pooh stuffed animal, and your arms around a unicorn pillow pet I knew you were the one.
Dear mechanic who fixed a minor air leak in my engine today and didn't even charge me,
You just gained a customer for life.
Dear boys,
Dicks should be in your pants... Not in your personality.
Dear people who call me too quiet,
No, I just don't like you.
Dear Lady who told me that me making my boyfriend a sandwich just sent the feminist movement back to the 50's,
In return he opens my doors, pulls out my chairs, pays for my food, movie tickets AND gas, surrenders his coat when I'm cold, cuddles, buys me presents, and acts as a personal body guard whenever we're together.
Dear phone companies,
Please make all phones have the same phone charger.
Dear middle schoolers,
If you can't say the word sex without laughing then you probably aren't old enough to have it
Dear parents shopping for Christmas,
Please remember: just because your three year old grandson wants the Lion King on blue ray doesn't mean that your twenty-five year old daughter doesn't want the exact same thing.
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