Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear "guns kill people",
Yeh... Spoons make people fat, and pens misspell words.
Dear Dad,
Thank you for sacrificing your manhood.
Dear car-pooler who is five minutes early,
Sorry! You caught me before I got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth and did my hair.
Dear first grade boy,
The assignment was to draw an animal and write the sound it makes. When you drew a shark and I asked you what sound it made, you started singing the Jaws theme.
Dear person who said "nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels",
You have obviously never had a Girl Scout cookie before.
Dear Westboro Baptist Church,
So you love Jesus, but hate Jews?
Dear Christians,
Please act like Christ, we're tired of correcting you.
Dear friend who accidentally said Azkaban instead of Alcatraz in school today,
You're a bit of a space case, but it's moments like those that make me remember why I hang out with you.
Dear super attractive and popular guy,
It made my day when I heard you mumbled, "It's like the White Tree of Gondor" when you saw that tree covered in snow. I thought it too. I also saw you blush when I fist bumped you for it.
Dear Teacher who says "Anything that fits on one sheet of paper" for our psychology exam,
My friend (the 4th year Psych major) will be standing on a sheet of paper next to me.
Dear first grade teacher,
I still say Wed-nez-day whenever I write Wednesday. Thank You.
Dear creater of sesame street,
When the interviewer asked if Burt and Ernie were gay your reply was "They're puppets..."
Dear Boyfriends,
Please realize that the only reason you'll ever get your sweatshirt back is because it has lost its scent. We will expect it back as soon as you have made it smell like you again.
Dear "You're too young to be married",
Not really your problem, is it?
Dear guy staring at me,
Yes, I'm playing Pokemon. Yes, I'm also pretty.
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