Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear U.S. Government,
You should change your emblem from an eagle to a condom, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives everyone a sense of security while you're being screwed.
Dear Japanese exchange student,
I wasn't trying to offend you by speaking slowly and using simple words. I'm sorry. I'm sure your English is great, but mine isn't yet.
Dear world,
Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is found in only one.
Dear school uniform,
You may suck, but you save me an hour in the morning looking for an outfit.
Dear brother,
Thank you for sacrificing your chocolate on the altar of PMS.
Dear racists,
Did you know there is only one race?
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I saved myself, my boyfriend, and the whole entire country. You slept.
Dear parents,
Please stop acting like school is so easy and work is so hard.
Dear boys,
Please repeat after me, "Girls are friends, not food."
Dear clothing manufactures,
Please agree on your sizing.
Dear movie,
Don't try to change me!
Dear teacher,
The reason I was late to class today was because yesterday you said that I should use the restroom in-between classes.
Dear math teacher who told me to read the note I passed out loud,
"Suicide isn't the answer. You are beautiful, creative and talented and you are going to go so far if you give life a chance."
Dear 83 year old widowed grandfather,
Please keep dressing up on Halloween, doing silly things with your twin brother, and sleeping until noon on Sundays.
Dear cute guy behind counter,
Thanks for not skipping a beat or acting awkward while scanning my items.
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