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Dear "wearing a padded bra is false advertisement",
Contrary to popular belief, i am not actually for sale.
Dear unsuspecting girlfriend,
I can see that you're busy and that there are a lot of people around.... but how'd you like to make a life-changing decision RIGHT NOW?!
Dear boy who's dating my sister,
If you break her heart figuratively, I'll break yours literally.
Dear 6'2" boyfriend,
You realize I can hear your heartbeat when we hug, right? That means I can hear how fast its beating after we kiss, too.
Dear middle school girls on Facebook,
Addingg moree letterss doesn'tt makee you cuterr/smarterr/funnier/moree interestingg. In fact, it really just makes me want to hitt youu.
Dear men,
Try being a lady's man, not a ladies man.
Dear girlfriend who just freaked out at me for hanging out with another girl,
Meet my sister.
Dear people who jokingly say they have Tourette's when they do something random,
I may randomly punch you.
Dear future girlfriend,
I want a date where we wear sweatpants, watch Harry Potter and eat ice cream/nutella, without makeup or any of those other lies people wear. I'll make us sammiches. I'm really good at making those.
Dear guy wearing a batman shirt carrying around his toddlers ,
Carry on with the awesomeness.
Dear pants making companies,
Please stop making fake pockets.
Dear girls who take pictures with their toilets in the backround,
Please stop, it's really not sexy.
Dear world,
Please understand we don't all look like we came out of a Doritos bag.
Dear Disney,
Why can't you be real?
Dear attractive male friend who asked if his shirt was too tight,
No. No it's not...
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