Dear guy that asked me if I was free tonight,
Darn right I'm free.
Sincerely, this is America!!!
Dear people who take Bible verse out of context,
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
Sincerely, Mike Wazowski
I like my men like I like my coffee...... I don't like coffee.
Sincerely, coming out
I decided to start a petition for the right to wear tanktops in schools
Sincerely, because I support my right to bare arms
Dear my un-nerdy peers,
I told a chemistry joke once.
Sincerely, there was no reaction.
Dear people who think women dress up to impress guys,,
If we dressed to impress guys we'd be naked.
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Sincerely, your daughter with a mouth like a sailor
Dear Olympian Gods,
Start using protection. I mean, really. Has it ever turned out very well for you?
Dear male nurse who handed me over to a female nurse so that it wouldn't be awkward when he put EKG sensors on my chest,
Please realize that having a female do this is even more awkward.
Dear friends bragging how far they have gone ,
I walked all the way to the super market yesterday
Sincerely, does that count?
Dear waitress judging me for ordering alcohol,
I'm not pregnant, just fat.
Sincerely, now get my drink
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
Sincerely, don't get so cocky next time.
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Professor Snape
Dear professional bakers,
If a redhead owned a bakery, would that make him a ginger bread man?
Sincerely, just wondering