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Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Dear boyfriend asking me to prove my love,
I shave my legs in the winter for you.
Dear People overusing the word "friendzoned",
you haven't been friendzoned until you actually tell them you like them.
Dear Neville Longbottom,
After how crappy your life has been, I figured it was time someone was nice to you.
Dear girls ,
Please stop giving us "hints" if you like us, just tell us please. We're stupid
Dear "This Project Cannot Be Completed The Night Before",,
You wanna tell that to my 100 plus 5 bonus points for creativity?
Dear world,
Did you know that the creators of Finding Nemo came up with the name "P. Sherman" because they were in the Philippines and they happened to hear that that's how Filipinos say "fishermen" with their accent?
Dear high school teachers,
You say you prepare us for college. College teachers say they prepare us for the "real world." Well, in the real world, we pretty much do the same things we do in pre-school. Sit down and try not to break anything.
Dear artless coxcomb who said Shakespeare had no swag,
Shakespeare practically invented swag, the word comes from swagger, and Shakespeare used it in his 1596 play; a Midsummer Night's Dream. "What hempen homespuns have we swaggering here?" So yes, Shakespeare did in fact have swag and he's had swag since the 1500's.
Dear sisters's boyfriend,,
Please keep in mind before you cheat on her, that I am one of the only people in the world who could kill you and get away with it.
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Americans,
Wait, so I become 50 times more attractive just because I'm from England and have an accent?
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear gym teacher,
That tattoo you asked me about on my ankle? Yeah, that was a princess band-aid, but nice try.
Dear Foreign Language Teacher,
The hardest part about the test isn't knowing the vocab, it's figuring out what each picture is
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