I do not like this Sam I Am. I do not like this Facebook scam. I do not like the new news feed. I do not like it, no indeed. I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's weird, so let me make myself quite clear. I do not like this new page attack. So Facebook admin CHANGE IT BACK!!!
Sincerely, Everyone that likes something called PRIVACY on Facbook
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Sincerely, What's that? You changed your' mind??
Dear creator of the English language,
So hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words, aibohphobia is the fear of words spelt the same forwards as backwards, lisp has an "s" in it, portmanteau is a french portmanteau and oxymoron is an oxymoron
Sincerely, you really had too much time on your hands
Dear Freshman Physical Science Teacher,
Thank you for telling us to "not go home and tell your parents that you spent the whole period watching The Daily Show, or prank calling other science classrooms" then yelling "Dinosaurs are SEXY!" to get our attention.
Sincerely, I SO hope I have you again for Chemistry.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Please let me marry a guy named Jesse so I can be Jesse's girl. Have a dughter named Stacey so I can be, Stacey's mom. And have a son named Luke so I can say "Luke I am your mother!".
Sincerely, That would be amazing
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear jerks who say they don't date fat girls,
I may be fat but you're ugly
Sincerely, I can lose weight...you're stuck with that face forever
Dear Kate and Willam,
If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal then will that make your son be the half blood prince?
Dear Nerdy Husband,
You're lucky I love you...
Sincerely, Now the proud owner of a Princess Leia slave costume...
It's been shown that when most women kill, they do it with poison.
Sincerely, you still want that sandwich?
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Sincerely, multiple choice tests
Why was it necessary to go to such lengths to make Harry compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There much have been easier ways to get him to touch a portkey.
Sincerely, "Hey Harry, will you hold this for me?"