Dear black people wearing dark clothes and jaywalking at night,
I'm not being racist but...really?!
Sincerely, I almost accidentally ran you over.
Dear girl who tortured me in high school,
You're lucky I'm not mean!
Sincerely, your new boss.
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Sincerely, that's kinda what I was hoping for when I dumped you!
Dear person I'm talking to,
Please do not ask me "North or South?" when I say I'm Korean.
Sincerely, I wouldn't be here if I were North Korean.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Sincerely, otherwise, I would have responded before my battery died.
Dear kids in class who ask the teacher "when are we ever going to need to know this",
On the test next week.
Sincerely, now shut up and pay attention.
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear awesome guy friend,
Please keep going to Zumba classes with me. It makes you that much cooler.
Sincerely, YEAH!! Shake what ya mamma gave ya!!
Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Sincerely, proud homosexual son.
Dear people complaining about there being no flying cars yet,
Please think about all the people you have to avoid colliding with because they are incapable of driving straight in their own lane.
Sincerely, you really want to add another dimension?
If you guys all put your heads together and find a cure for periods, we will all date you.
Sincerely, all girls.
Dear "Age doesn't matter",
Yes It does.
For the tenth time, yes I'm sure I'm not pregnant.
Seriously? Seventeen bucks for a box of condoms?
Sincerely, you do realize I'm buying these because I can't afford to have a kid, right?