Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Dad,
When I was sad because no boy asked me to homecoming, you took me to the mall, let me get whatever dress I wanted, accompanied me to 5 different shoe stores just so I could find the perfect pair, and then bought me ice cream.
Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable ,
So is child birth...
Dear world,
Yes, I dance around in my kitchen while baking... I can't be the only one.
Dear middle aged man in dress clothes,
Eating your lunch out of a SuperMan lunch box where I could see it?
Dear girls,
Just because I have one, doesn't mean I am one.
Dear smokers,
Yes, I did rip the loudest fart next to you. If I have to smell your crap, you have to smell mine.
Dear family who wonders why I take such long showers,
It's a place for me to cry with out being heard. It's a place to daydream without being disturbed. It's a place where I'm not judged. It's a place where I can sing as loud as I want with out being told to be quiet. It's where I contemplate my life. It's where I think about my future. It's where I think about the guy I like... AND THEN I shampoo, condition, wash and shave.
Dear college roommate,
I am seriously happy that our room smells like coffee all the time instead of weed and alcohol like the rest of the rooms in our hall.
Dear Men,
Please wear suits more often. They make you look so handsome.
Dear guy living a 15 minute walk from my dorm,
You got points for walking me back in the rain today.
Dear dreams,
Please stop being so much better...
Dear brain,
Although I appreciate your ability to think, I'd really like to get sleep once in a while.
Dear senior who just said I was hot,
I'm the girl who you called an elephant in 6th grade.
Dear yoga pants,
You're comfortable AND you make my butt look great?
Dear adorable kitten that has been sleeping on my belly for the past hour,
I. NEED. TO. PEE.
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