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Dear anti-gay conservatives,
Homosexuality prevents abortion.
Dear people of America,
I am a white, straight, gun-owning, conservative male.
Dear Stephanie Meyer ,
So you based Twilight off of a dream? "It does not do to dwell on dreams..."
Dear teacher who says "I don't know CAN you?" after a I ask if I can go to the bathroom,
When I was using can, I was using it's secondary modal form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought that since you were a teacher, you would know that.
Dear Michael Buble,
Please don't sing Santa Baby.
Dear movie makers,
Now that you've done sparkling vampires, time to do glow-in-the-dark zombies.
Dear Europe,
Please refrain from giving such small coutries such big names.
Dear boyfriend,
If you were a triangle you would be acute one.
Dear "money can't by you happiness",
That may be true, but I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini.
Dear guy who just robbed me and jumped in his car to get away,
Sucks for you. I got your tag number memorized.
Dear humans,
You get mad at me if I wake you, and you get mad at me if I don't!
Dear iTunes ,
Really? $1.29? What's the extra .29 for? Shipping and handling?
Dear optimists, pessimists and realists,
The glass is actually 51.1256 % filled.
Dear couple making out in front of my locker,
WHOA, THERE! Um, yeah... You need to go find somewhere else to do that...
Dear public school kids,
Please invite me to a party. A real one. With boys.
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