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Dear lunatics,
Please stop killing people in the name of my religion. It's stupid and explicitly contradicted by the Qur'an
Dear America,
Please realize that I, a gay Muslim, exist. Stop pretending like those are mutually exclusive identities, and allow us to grieve in peace.
Dear Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump,
Please realize that very close to NONE of the votes you will get in the upcoming election will be cast because the voter wants you to win. They will be cast for you because the voters feel they cannot allow the other one of you to win. Your candidacies are not mandates by the People, they are merely the sad result of decades of partisanship and bad policies.
Dear "Getting kicked in the nads= 9000 dels of pain",
Please know that the del is not an actual unit of measurement? There is no standardized way to measure pain on a scientific basis. Why? Because pain is subjective to the on experiencing it. During labor, a woman's hips shift. Her vagina is stretched to maximum capacity. Sometimes, she tears from vagina to anus. Sometimes doctors snap her pubic bone or cut her vagina (episiotomy) to allow for baby to pass through. Being kicked in the nads hurts really bad, but one person's painful experience should never invalidate another's.
Dear Donald Trump,
Just don't
Dear Brock Turner's Dad,
Please understand that twenty minutes of action is a lot. In twenty minutes, you can murder people, bomb a city, or do other such horrible things.
Dear America,
The real problem with this election is that one of them is going to win.
Dear "the customer is always right",
No. The customer is very often an arrogant, impatient, self-entitled douchebag who expects special treatment from workers who they treat like slaves.
Dear Vegan,
Please stop feeding your cat vegan cat food. It's a carnivore, and you're slowly killing it.
Dear vegans,
Please realise that I can support animal rights issues and oppose animal abuse without being vegan. Eating meat and supporting animal rights are not mutually exclusive. We differ on what we choose to eat, not on our thoughts on animal suffering.
Dear Well-meaning Americans,
Please cut it out with the "white people can't experience racism" stuff. You think an Irish traveler can't experience racism? Or a Polish person? Similarly racism is not only something white people do; do you think there's no racism at all between, for example, Asian people and black people? You want to redefine racism so that institutional racism is the only kind that matters, as if a racially aggravated assault hurts less or is less awful depending on the colour of the fist throwing the punches, and that's ridiculous. The American experience of racism is not the only one.
Dear pro-lifer,
Please consider the life the child will be born into as well. Or are you just "pro-birth"?
Dear people who don't like feminism,
Like it or not, finding out I'm a feminist is not an opportunity for you to call me a "feminazi". My great grandparents were murdered during the Holocaust after their home was burned down. I am a proud, 3rd generation Jewish American feminist and comparing me to the group that murdered my family and millions of others is completely unacceptable. You say feminists are crazy and turn around and compare us to fucking Nazis... check yourself
Dear Dr. Considerate,
Please accept my sincere thanks for coming to my house to put my precious cat Dory down after her accident. It would have tortured her even more if I'd needed to bring her to your office. You made her final moments easy and she knew that she was loved.
Dear gay classmates,
Yes, I'm to~otally asking you to stop making out because I'm an 'evil' Christian who hates all gays, and it is not at all because you've been making out directly in front of my locker every day for the last week, preventing me from getting my books for class and staring at me tauntingly when I try to get passed you.