Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girls on my track team,
Please stop complaining about how small your boobs are.
Dear straight men,
Just because I am gay, doesn't mean I am attracted to you. I actually think most of you are quite hideous. Hope my honesty makes you feel better...
Dear Kindle,
You know what else you can read in the sunlight without a glare?
Dear death,
Please reincarnate me as a bear. They eat for half a year, sleep for half a year, and aren't awake for child birth.
Dear people who make fun of me because I babysit for money,
I get to play dress up, use coloring books, watch Disney Movies, eat PB&J sandwiches, play on the playground, and THEN I get free access to their internet and junk food.
Dear male co-workers with whom we share a bathroom,
Please note: Seat up = OK. Toilet not flushed = Not OK. Seat up and toilet not flushed = REALLY not OK.
Dear jerks shouting obscenities from their car,
Why yes, I am a homo sapien. Thank you for your keen observation!
Dear people who write papers the day before they are due and get A's,
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!
Dear bra,
You are not an appropriate wallet.
Dear women who like "a man in uniform",
Does my black and white, striped uniform turn you on?
Dear teenage Facebook users,
Did you think that you were uploading your photos to a Playboy audition?
Dear baby fat,
Please migrate to my boobs soon.
Dear parents,
How can I "shoot for the stars" and be "down to earth" at the same time?
Dear parent telling me to go to bed early now in preparation for the school routine,
I am in the school routine.
Dear automatic toilet,
Please do not guess when I am done. You're usually wrong.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US