Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear American People,
Thanks for blaming the President instead of us.
Dear neighbor with a black eye,
You called my autistic little brother a retard?
Dear microwave manufacturers,
Please add a "Stealth Mode."
Dear College,
Thank you for letting me write a research paper on Greek Mythology and its influence on Harry Potter. This is going to be epic.
Dear boyfriend who pauses Call of Duty to text me back,
Please continue making my friends jealous.
Dear Bed,
Why are you so uncomfortable when I go to sleep, and yet so comfy when I wake up?
Dear Poptart company,
Please consider making the frosting go all the way to the edges of the Poptart.
Dear burglar,
Next time, don't try to steal from the girl who just walked out of karate class.
Dear Verizon commercial,
If I had the choice between a new smart phone and R2-D2, I wouldn't pick the phone.
Dear amazing boyfriend,
Please tell me that when I jokingly said "you'd have to marry me" and you said "challenge accepted", you were being serious.
Dear Americans,
"Gay" means happy or jolly, "queer" means odd or strange, "retarded" means slowed or hindered, "dumb" means unable to speak, and "lame" means incapable of walking.
Dear parents,
You want me to pay for my own things... but won't let me get a job?
Dear Pandora,
Thank you for playing "Eye of the Tiger" as I submitted my 27-page term paper online.
Dear best guy friend,
We made a bet in highschool that we wouldn't last dating. I said two weeks. You said two months.
Dear teachers,
Please tell me how the heck I got that wrong?! It was an OPINION question!
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