Dear "God created Adam and eve, not Adam and Steve",
God created you too Steve. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Dear people who say that Mean Girls is the most quotable movie ever,
You obviously have never seen The Princess Bride.
Sincerely, Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
You wish you could be as cool as me.
Sincerely, Hakuna Matata
Dear football teams,
Thank you for being our opening and closing acts.
Sincerely, marching bands everywhere
Dear driver with a "Love Animals Don't Eat Them" bumper sticker,
I do love animals. Especially pigs.
Sincerely, bacon is a gift from heaven.
Please note that the door you just kicked in was locked for your protection, not mine.
Sincerely, the guy calling an ambulance and the police for you
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Dear friend who just called Disney lame,
DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW.
Sincerely, Disney fanatic
I have milkshakes!
Sincerely, Why is my yard still empty?
Dear world ,
Please be aware, that, if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, you won't get approximately 9 3/4 of the jokes we make.
Sincerely, See what I did there? Nope? Read Harry Potter.
Dear peanut butter and jelly:,
I only use you together, and your jars are the same size. Why don't you run out at the same time?
Sincerely, have you been talking to the shampoo and conditioner?
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
Freshmen are friends, not food.
Sincerely, you were a freshie once too
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Sincerely, Think about that one!