Dear ignorant person that told me that clarinets are gay,
Elton John is gay, a clarinet is a clarinet.
Sincerely, I'm a band student, and you're an idiot.
I eat the cows which produce the methane gas that effect global warming. You guys eat the plants that could fix global warming. So who is REALLY killing the planet?
Sincerely, meat lovers.
For the love of all that's holy - stop putting sirens in your music!
Sincerely, just slammed on my brakes looking for the cop.
Dear U.S. government,
My teacher taught me that "pro" and "con" are opposites. So wouldn't the opposite of progress be...?
Sincerely, is that why nothing is getting done?
Dear girls that are afraid of blood,
What do you do during your period?
Dear "popular kid",
If you're "cooler" than me, doesn't that make me "hotter" than you?
Sincerely, just saying.
Sincerely, sheltered private schooled kid.
I really liked that sweatshirt, but oh, you can just have it. It's not like I spent a lot of money on it or anything. You go on ahead.
Dear [insert: current president here],
You suck! You're the worst president ever! The [insert: other party] would do such a better job! It's totally your fault that [insert: foreign power, gas prices, natural disaster, or lack of parking places] is ruining everything!
Dear guy who just called me a lesbian,
Yes I am.
Sincerely, your mom would know...
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Sincerely, could she choose neither?
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, just had a heart attack.
How can you sweat like us when we don't sweat?
Dear Bella Swan,
Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Sincerely, you should be medicated.