Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear black people wearing dark clothes and jaywalking at night,
I'm not being racist but...really?!
Dear girl who tortured me in high school,
You're lucky I'm not mean!
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Dear person I'm talking to,
Please do not ask me "North or South?" when I say I'm Korean.
Dear guy who likes me,
Please know that the only reason I didn't reply to you asking me out was because I was too busy jumping around my room yelling, "Yesssss!!!"
Dear kids in class who ask the teacher "when are we ever going to need to know this",
On the test next week.
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear awesome guy friend,
Please keep going to Zumba classes with me. It makes you that much cooler.
Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Dear people complaining about there being no flying cars yet,
Please think about all the people you have to avoid colliding with because they are incapable of driving straight in their own lane.
Dear nerds,
If you guys all put your heads together and find a cure for periods, we will all date you.
Dear "Age doesn't matter",
Yes It does.
Dear doctor,
For the tenth time, yes I'm sure I'm not pregnant.
Dear pharmacy,
Seriously? Seventeen bucks for a box of condoms?
Dear music teacher,
You say flute, I say snarfblad.
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