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Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Dear Long-Distance Boyfriend,
I love you a bunch and I miss you, but I can't help thinking there might be a couple of benefits to the whole "long-distance" thing...
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear men,
It's been shown that when most women kill, they do it with poison.
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear toilet,
Please flush! Please flush! PLEASE FLUSH!!!!
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear guy I asked to get a pencil out of my backpack,
I love how you made sure exactly which pocket it was before unzipping anything.
Dear Cat,
Please stop rolling around in my laundry
Dear Mulan,
Thanks for being a girl. I thought I was gay for a while there...
Dear Harry,
Of course you can have my blessing for marrying Ginny, on one condition. First, you MUST tell me what the function of a rubber duck is. I've been dying to find out.
Dear "YOLO",
Well... This is awkward.
Dear Guys,
Apparently size does matter.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Dear people at NASA,
Do you ever say "It's not rocket science!" to your coworkers?
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