Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear movie theater janitors sword fighting in the hall with your brooms,
You made my day.
Dear Boys,
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Dear Boys who wish they could understand girls,
So do we.
Dear Vegetarians,
Yes, this deer could be Bambi's mother, but that cucumber could be Larry.
Dear boys who ask why girls wear bras if they "have nothing to put in them",,
Please explain why you wear pants then...
Dear Period,
Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Dear nice old lady trying to set me up with her grand daughter,
Yes, she is pretty. Yes, we are close in age. No, I don't have a girl friend. No, thank you, I am not interested in taking her out tonight.
Dear "he doesn't even notice me",
Have you tried introducing yourself?
Dear US,
If pizza is a vegetable because it has tomatoes in it, that means vodka is a vegetable too.
Dear Male Married Teacher,
When I say that I need to go to the bathroom, that it's an emergency, and I have my pencil-case in my hand, do not tell me to wait 20 minutes until the end of class?
Dear Prince Charming,
Why did you kiss Snow White if you thought she was dead?
Dear Jocks,
Being a single guy who likes musical theater doesn't make me gay.
Dear world,
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Dear Students,
You ask how algebra will help you later on in life?
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