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Dear [insert: current president here],
You suck! You're the worst president ever! The [insert: other party] would do such a better job! It's totally your fault that [insert: foreign power, gas prices, natural disaster, or lack of parking places] is ruining everything!
Dear Neighbor,
Please realize that if you change your wifi network name to "Hack this if you can" it'll change.
Dear guy who just called me a lesbian,
Yes I am.
Dear "popular kid",
If you're "cooler" than me, doesn't that make me "hotter" than you?
Dear high school boys,
Just because you can grow a mustache doesn't mean you should.
Dear random person who just asked if I was emo,
I wear mostly black and don't talk much...
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear urbandictionary.com,
Ohhhhhhh.
Dear multiple choice test,
...Why are the first eleven answers B?
Dear teenagers,
Don't have sex; you will get pregnant, and die.
Dear humans,
How can you sweat like us when we don't sweat?
Dear Bella Swan,
Depression hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Dear "You're killing your hair with hair dye and straighteners....",
Actually, hair is dead skin cells. Can't kill what's already dead.
Dear burglar,
Please know that that "purse" you just stole was actually a diaper bag.
Dear rock,
You go after scissors, I'll cover you.
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