You're adorable, but please stop stepping on me while I'm lying down.
Sincerely, Ow! Not the boob!
Please stop folding up around my crotch.
Sincerely, a girl who looks like she has a penis.
Dear doctor looking in my ear,
I broke my ankle...
Sincerely, confused patient
Dear mustached teenage boys,
Shave the ferret off your face, you look like a rapist.
Sincerely, girls everywhere.
Dear 90's kids,
You're starting to sound like crusty old men who want kids off their lawn.
Sincerely, "When I was you're age..."
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Sincerely, I'll pick you up at seven.
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Sincerely, boom roasted!
Please stop naming your children ridiculous things, they'll just resent you later.
Sincerely, Wisha Ponastar
Today, I successfully said "Pika" before sneezing.
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Sincerely, bad puns.
Dear Guy at my recital taking flash photography,
You know I have to be able to read my music right?
Sincerely, DEAR LORD I'M BLIND
Dear little girl who asked if I comb my hair with a fork,
Yes. Yes, I do.
Sincerely, amused redhead
Dear kids that say my parents must be obsessed with Twilight,
I was named Bella after the psycho killer Death Eater Bellatrix, not some muggle pretending to be a vampire.
Sincerely, wait until I tell Voldy...
Dear whoever made the desk/chair combo for colleges,
Please fix the center of gravity on those things.
Sincerely, just tipped over in a class of 70 while taking a test.