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Dear future wife,
Please know that when I get depressed I clean. So if you come home to a spotless house then I need a hug, now.
Dear High Maintenance Girlfriends,
Stop expecting your boyfriend to treat you like a queen if you're not going to treat him well in return. Relationships are two-way streets.
Dear reverse-racism,
Why do we even need the word "reverse" in there
Dear Feminists,
If you physically hit a man or any human being, expect to get hit back.
Dear 'i want a love like romeo and juliet',
Screw that. I want a love like Gomez and Morticia!
Dear religious people,
We each have our beliefs. I can't prove that God doesn't exist; you can't prove that He does. All that matters is that our beliefs make us happy. So can we please stop the fighting?
Dear "All men may be rapists",
I do not live in fear of men. I live in fear of criminals. No matter what sex or gender they may be.
Dear Hollywood,
If you had done the movies right, Percy Jackson could have been almost if not just as successful as the Harry Potter movies.
Dear Misguided Americans,
Please stop being negative towards your soldiers, I know you may think the war is wrong, but those men are still fighting for you, me, and everyone else in this country. Quit putting them down and start putting down the people who made them go there.
Dear judgemental people,
They aren't my children, they are my little brother and sister and even if they were my kids, who are you to judge me? Obviously they are clothed and fed and loved.
Dear thin girls,
Please refrain from talking about how fat you are in front of obviously uncomfortable plus size girls. We recognize that you have insecurities too, and we do understand that you do not love your body. However, it feels so shitty to be told, by proxy, that you're a whale.
Dear supporters of racial equality,
Please remember that equality will mean ZERO discrimination. That means, eventually, you need to learn to stop being "proud" of being black or native or otherwise. The point of equality is transcending ethnicity and being proud of being "human", in having choices.
Dear women,
I get it. If there was blood coming out of my penis every month, I'd be pretty pissed, too.
Dear world,
My friend and I weigh the same (115 pounds). She's 5'3" and I'm 5'2". She's slender, and is a size three. I'm curvy, and I'm a size seven. Weight=/=size.
Dear wannabe gangsters,
Real gangsters wore nice suits and carried violin cases
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