Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear really big guy at the tattoo parlor with so many tattoos and piercings,
Thank you for asking my friend if her purse was a Vera Bradley and perfectly naming the style
Dear teens who don't wait until they're married,
Even Sims wait until they're partners.
Dear people I just met on vacation,
I don't know your Aunt Sue; just because we both live in Maine.
Dear "gangsters",
Please pull your pants up. You are not in prison and therefore can wear a belt.
Dear Band-Aids,
Hmm, Spongebob or Toy Stor- OH MY GOSH, CHARLIE BROWN!
Dear college scholarships,
Gingers are minorities.
Dear JK Rowling,
My kids will one day blame you for their strange names.
Dear chocolate,
OM NOM NOM NOM...
Dear apple,
Didn't get far did you?
Dear classmate,
Next time, ask before you use my pencil or I will RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!
Dear football-loving dad,
Please stop screaming at the TV. The athletes can't hear you.
Dear homophobic dad,
You hate gays? Phew, thank goodness, I thought I was in trouble.
Dear World,
They say good men are hard to find.
Dear people who call me a Grammar Nazi,
I prefer "Grammar Gestapo" because of the alliteration.
Dear peoplewhotalklikethisallthetime,
Can you not find the spacebar?
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