Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear person I've been talking to for weeks,
Is it too late to ask what your name is?
Dear boy who just told me that if I was in a detective movie that I would be killed first because "they always kill the pretty girls",
I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.
Dear mom who just screwed up my medical form,
So I have asthma bronchitis cancer and I'm pregnant?
Dear ex boyfriend who gave my number out to people for "free sex",
That's alright, I have your iTunes password ;)
Dear Will.i.am,
When you die will you tomb stone say Will.i.was?
Dear guy I like,
I swear, I speak English! You just make me nervous.
Dear English guys,
Girls may love your accent, but when I say "Potato", every uterus within a 50 mile radius explodes.
Dear young girls walking in a row at the mall looking down at their phones,
Heads up.
Dear cat,
Please tell me how when we were both locked out you were still able to get back in the house.
Dear Couples who are 'trying',
Does anyone else realize that is just a polite way of saying you have sex a lot?
Dear everyone that says "SAT Test",
What on Earth do you think the 'T' stands for?!
Dear Everyone,
Come to the geek side. We have pi.
Dear Harry Potter fans,
Harry was a descendant of the 3rd brother from the group who made the Deathly Hallows. Voldemort was a descendant of the 2nd brother. This means that Harry and Voldemort were distant cousins.
Dear guys who post pictures of themselves posing in the bathrooms with their abs,
If you're gonna do that, you might want to get rid of the power rangers towel behind you.
Dear world,
If I can light a campfire underwater, I'm sure Adele can set fire to rain.
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