Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Sincerely, Think about that one!
Dear Long-Distance Boyfriend,
I love you a bunch and I miss you, but I can't help thinking there might be a couple of benefits to the whole "long-distance" thing...
Sincerely, No-Shave-November Participant
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
It's been shown that when most women kill, they do it with poison.
Sincerely, you still want that sandwich?
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Please flush! Please flush! PLEASE FLUSH!!!!
Sincerely, at a sleepover.
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear guy I asked to get a pencil out of my backpack,
I love how you made sure exactly which pocket it was before unzipping anything.
Sincerely, it's obvious you've unzipped wrong zippers on a girl's backpack before
Please stop rolling around in my laundry
Sincerely, There is cat hair in my underwear
Thanks for being a girl. I thought I was gay for a while there...
Of course you can have my blessing for marrying Ginny, on one condition. First, you MUST tell me what the function of a rubber duck is. I've been dying to find out.
Well... This is awkward.
Apparently size does matter.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Sincerely, how does Casa Blanca sound?