Dear Fourth Grade Bully,
Karma's a bitch huh?
Sincerely, I may be a nerd but you're Pregnant at 17.
Dear boys who complain about girls friend-zoning you or cheating on you,
Look in YOUR friendzone, please
Sincerely, tired of being just a female friend
Dear best friend,
Thank you for finally breaking up with him. You deserve so much better!
Sincerely, he was horrible to you.
Dear School Bully,
Did I tell you that I started taking Karate?
Sincerely, the girl who's foot just connected with your balls
Dear girl next to me in class,
Please stop saying that everyone is equal in America and that minorities need to just "get over it."
Sincerely, the gay guy sitting next to you.
If you dare call my friend fat again I will castrate you with a machete.
Sincerely, you better sleep with one eye open
Please stop taking clothes off the rack and leaving them in random places all over the store. Thanks.
Sincerely, retail clothing clerks.
Dear people who complain about being in the friendzone,
Please understand that she may not be the girl for you. I acted on my affections for a girl and all it got me was a "friend" who abused me because she knew I was so deeply in love with her that I wouldn't care.
Sincerely, they may not be worth your time
You can't just "stop it with the depression thing."
Sincerely, I just want your help, not your criticism.
Dear Short Boy,
Please don't be weirded out that I like you... you're nice, smart, and cute! Take a chance on me?
Sincerely, Tall Girl
*sniff* I am loving that you finally made an appearance. *cough* The beautiful weather. *sneeze* The gorgeous blossoms everywhere. *hack* And the tidal wave of pollen that has washed over the area. *wheeze* You are beautiful. *choke*
Sincerely, "Is it summer yet?"
Dear girls laughing at me in gymnastics today,
Please realize that even though I can't do a front handspring, that's no reason to laugh at my attempts. Did my friends and I laugh when you were scared of water in the swimming unit?
Sincerely, I don't think so
Dear people who say "You're the same people, you're twins,
Please realize that we are two individuals with different interests, likes, and personalities
Sincerely, I just want to be my own person
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please find somewhere else to flutter; I need to sleep tonight.
Sincerely, Soon to Defend her Thesis