Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Sincerely, you forgot to flush.
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Sincerely, Tired of Untangling
Dear Boyfriend and Girlfriend,
I don't swim in your bed, so please don't have sex in my pool.
Sincerely, Lifeguards Everywhere
Dear High School Bully,
You were right. You're STILL taking my lunch money.
Sincerely, I thought I asked for no mayo
That girl you stared at from across the street, slapped your buddy, pointed, then proceded to whistle at. That was me. I dyed my hair. Thanks for the compliment.
Sincerely, bet you want me back now, don't you?
Youtube is red, Facbook is blue, I'm wasting time on the internet...
Sincerely, so are you.
Dear 90's kids,
You're starting to sound like crusty old men who want kids off their lawn.
Sincerely, "When I was you're age..."
Dear Bio-Chemistry major roommate,
When you start asking me about the differences between Miosis and Mitosis, I mostly just nod and agree to get through the conversation...
Sincerely, I'm a music major...
Don't worry about me. I've changed my name to Gandalf and moved to Middle Earth. Don't try to find me, I've got my hands full with Frodo.
Dear people who believe in reincarnation,
Do you put BRB on your headstones instead of RIP?
Sincerely, this is a valid question
Dear mustached teenage boys,
Shave the ferret off your face, you look like a rapist.
Sincerely, girls everywhere.
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
ahdjifnakjdkj MACARENA, khdfkhhadk MACARENA, kdjfsksanksnvk MACARENA, AAAYYY MACARENA!!!
Sincerely, I bet you sing it like that too