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Dear family,
Please don't make fun of me because I have a hard time calling people on the phone, ordering at a resteraunt, or even ringing the doorbell at people's homes.
Dear Tail Gater,
The closer you get behind me the slower I will go. The car in front of me is doing the speed limit and I don't want to crash into them if they slam on the brakes.
Dear only 90's kids can own the original Disney shows or movies,
Shouldn't you be glad that they're actually watching original Disney? Shouldn't you be happy that they're not watching Jersey Shore, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, or some crap like that? The movies were made for everybody, not just 90's kids. Let them enjoy it. Not just one generation owns the good Disney.
Dear angry "attractive" girl,
Please understand that we go to a small school, and there are right around half as many boys as there are girls. My girlfriend may not be as physically pretty as you, but she is much more attractive as a person. I'd rather dance with her at prom.
Dear heterosexuals,
Relax, the gays don't want to marry you.
Dear users of this fine website,
Please understand that, as a moderator, I allow certain posts through that are incredibly stupid or nonsensical at times. Why? Because I can't wait to see what the comments section for those posts will look like.
Dear "you're culturally appropriative",
Yes, 50% of my diet is Chinese food, and I picked up certain Cantonese phrases (mainly swear words) that I use on a daily basis. I work in a Chinese restaurant, you twat, what did you expect?
Dear Dad,
Please stop eating so much. You're overweight already, and it kills me to see you putting too much unhealthy food into your body. Our family does not have a genetic history of longevity and I really want you to be healthy enough to meet your grand kids.
Dear friends telling me I look great and don't need to diet to be beautiful.,
Please stop. I know I look good, but my looks don't have a whole lot to do with why I decided to lose weight.
Dear Cousins,
I didn't come out of the closet for years because of how often you all use the words "faggot," "dyke," and "gay."
Dear Whovians,
Every time I read your fandom name I always think that you're obsessed with Dr. Seuss and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Dear Mischa,
Please continue to humble me with your intelligence and kindness. An even greater privilege than watching you grow and learn is getting to grow and learn with you.
Dear teenage mother,
You're trying on pink and zebra striped hooker heels while ignoring your baby is in his stroller crying for his mommy... You should be worried about him, not how sexy your shoes look.
Dear everyone I went to primary school with,
You were all right. Me and my boy best friend didn't stay 'just friends'. We live together now
Dear mom,
Please stop comparing me to others.
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