Dear GAP clothing,
Do you really think someone is going to buy a shirt that says "69" all over it?
Sincerely, observant customer.
I think you killed the wrong Black.
Sincerely, it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!
Yes, of course I'm pregnant. What did you expect?
Sincerely, you were at the wedding...
Dear Jane Doe,
Did you marry John Doe, or are you his sister?
When you say "Write in complete sentences", the majority of the class assumes you are saying "write incomplete sentences".
Sincerely, minor formalities.
Ruining good songs was OUR idea!
Sincerely, Kidz Bop.
Please return my invisibility cloak. This prank on the muggles has gone on long enough.
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Sincerely, your butt crack is showing.
Dear optimists and pessimists,
Clearly, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Dear Coors Light,
If the main attraction to your beer is "it's cold", you are not doing so well.
Sincerely, water is also cold.
Dear boy who just asked me to sit on his lap,
Boy you ain't no Santa Claus, I don't wanna be yo ho ho ho!
Sincerely, that might have been the cleverest thing I've ever though of on the spot!
Want to hear a chemistry joke?
Sincerely, never mind, all the good ones Argon.
Just because I work here and I am a girl does not mean you can tell me to "make you a sandwich!"
Sincerely, subway employee.
You send out more mixed signals than Helen Keller directing traffic.
Sincerely, confused girls.