You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Sincerely, you're the one who suggested I stop climbing on the counters
Dear Christian school,
You're saying tank tops aren't allowed because they're a distraction to boys?
Sincerely, are my shoulders that sexy?
Please don't cover my eyes when watching a scene in a movie where there are girls dancing in bras and underwear.
Sincerely, I'm a girl; I see that in the mirror every morning.
Dear 'customer' who stole my phone while I was working to help you,
Please know that I had to run your credit, and know your name, address, and I also have you on camera stealing it.
Sincerely, knock, knock... it's the police.
Dear "child proof" packaging,
I hate you.
All our lives we are led up to believe that you are this great and cultured poet. Then we read the first scene of Romeo and Juliet and you are telling sex jokes.
Sincerely, But You Make It Sound So Serious...
Dear moms in Todlers in Tiaras,
I think your on the wrong show...
Sincerely, biggest loser.
Dear "this assignment can't be done the night before",
You're right. It can be done at lunch the day it's due.
Sincerely, a true procrastinator
Dear history teacher who told a kid in my class to stop making fun of mormons because "You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your religion,
He is mormon.
Sincerely, totally made my day
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
Dear Lady Gaga,
I figured it out. You're a witch, and you dress so crazily because you don't know how to blend in with the Muggles.
Sincerely, I'm on to you.
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Sincerely, I LOOK LIKE A DRAGON!
Dear 7 year old brother,
Please continue to hop away like a bunny when I told you to 'hop off' because I was in a bad mood. You made my day.
Sincerely, Amused older sister.
Dear Crowded Staircase,
Thank you for shoving me up against the super hot Male Swim Captain. I really enjoyed the way his biceps flexed when he caught me. Same time tomorrow.
Sincerely, He was rocking those skinny jeans too!