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Dear people who get offended at everything,
Will you stop it already? Just laugh about it and get over it!
Dear Girlfriend,
I've decided to marry you. I decided this summer but I'm going to wait to ask until we're both near the end of college before I ask.
Dear Parents,
Please understand that while I am on the internet much of the time... It doesn't mean I have no life and no friends. It's not my fault that the few friends I have in this town can't ever hang out. Please stop comparing me and my lack of sociality to my extremely popular brother. If he's happy hanging out with a bunch of people that don't really like him... The more power to him. But it's time you realized that I'm not that person and I'd much rather be lazy at home, talking to people I like who live thousands of miles away, than to be with the jerks who live nextdoor.
Dear Husband,
If you want me to learn to do something that you like doing, you should have to learn to do something that I like doing that requires a similar skill level.
Dear Dad,
You decided to not be involved in my life for twenty years, but now want to be apart of it once you realized my major can lead to a prestigious and well-paying career?
Dear World,
Teachers are human too.
Dear room mates,
Please make sure I can't hear you before you talk shit about me.
Dear women's bathing suit makers,
Please make bathing suits that stop my boobs from drooping to the floor.
Dear classmate who loves Shakespeare,
Please stop insulting anyone who doesn't like Shakespeare. Yes, most of us can understand it and no, we still don't like it. You being a fan is okay. You saying we are idiots and don't understand enough to like it is not on. Even if someone didn't understand, calling them an idiot is definitely not the way to get them to appreciate Shakespeare. In fact, it could do the exact opposite. Oh, someone in today's age struggles with the language Shakespeare used? Big fucking whoop. Of course someone might struggle (and that's not even thinking about people with learning disabilities, asshole) in understanding a language from a DIFFERENT TIME PERIOD! Shut up about how you are a special snowflake because only you understand Shakespeare (you are not) and shoving the belief that everyone must absolutely love reading Shakespeare. The girl you just got up for helping 'Shakespeare haters'? Maybe you should follow her lead. She loves Shakespeare just as much as you do. She's just not an ass about it.
Dear Ex Fiance,
Please be happy, don't let anyone hurt you, find a good guy, save your money, love yourself and take care of your dad because he needs you. I love you and I think about you every day.
Dear Navy,
Please keep the love of my life safe on his first deployment.
Dear Taylor Swift,
"I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue Than spend one more minute with you." THAT'S how you write a break-up song
Dear Apple,
Please explain to me why we are turning mobile phones into tablets and tablets into laptops
Dear thirteen year old brother,
Your Xbox is not more important than family time. Your online friends can wait 20 minutes.
Dear teachers,
Why do you let your bad students get away with all of the crap they do, but when your good students do the same thing you yell at them?