Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear fellow students,
Ever notice studying is 'student' and 'dying' put together?
Dear stressed people,
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
Dear people laughing at me for my small hands,
At least I can fit them inside Pringles cans.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know I don't believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause, but that doesn't mean I don't like the candy or presents...
Dear "I never wear condoms",
I would be concerned, but your hand can't get pregnant.
Dear Dad,
Yes, I do have to step on every crunchy leaf on the driveway.
Dear 13-year-olds saying they wished they were older,
If it were the 1700's, you would be married by now.
Dear grandma in Pilates class,
How are you doing that?!
Dear sluts,
Please realize that booty shorts, suspenders and 3D glasses with the lens poked out do NOT make you a nerd.
Dear boys,
Actually, we wear sweats, eat a lot, and watch romantic comedies.
Dear blanket,
Thank you for protecting me from evil monsters when I go to bed.
Dear P.E. Teacher,
Yes it can kill me.
Dear math teacher who says "practice makes perfect",
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why bother practicing?
Dear girls,
I don't want in your pants... I have my own.
Dear people who complained about the white Coke cans looking too much like Diet Coke cans,
Please accept our sincerest apologies. Its so much more important that Coca-Cola should cater to your needs instead of donating millions of dollars to help save the polar bears. You're right.
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