Dear people who glorify being in college and spending weekends with their significant others building pillow forts and watching Disney movies,
While this is indeed fun, perhaps consider that instead of using these activities as an alternative to sex, you could have sex in said pillow fort.
Sincerely, it's not ruining childhood, it's embellishing it. (Also, there's already cushioning on the floors)
Dear depressed best friend,
Can you tell me exactly the number of hugs that it will take to make you feel better so I can give you double?
Sincerely, your concerned best friend
Keep your baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion
Sincerely, I'll stand by you no matter what
Dear Parents of college-attending son/daughtr,
Please stop expecting the staff at the career services office to "make" your child pick a major from which s/he will "get" a "good job." College isn't about making money. It is about helping your child find authentic interests, explore life-sustaining passions, learning how to problem-solve, embrace the unfamiliar, honor the expanse of human experience, negotiate conflict and disappointment, build resiliency, advocate for self. Relax Mom and Dad: s/he'll find a job..and it may not be what you dreamed for them, but their college is not for you. It is not something you can architect. It is uniquely theirs to use to launch a life THEY will live.
Sincerely, The Career Counselor (not the 'placement person')
Dear clothing companies,
Please make your dresses and skirts a little longer in the back than the front. My knee length dress shouldn't be halfway up my thighs in the back
Sincerely, girls who have a bit of junk in the trunk
Please become free. That would be great
Sincerely, broke kid who works all the time.
Dear period cramps,
I hate you. Go die.
Sincerely, Every girl ever
Dear guy who just attempted to rape me ,
Just because I'm a 5 foot nothing, teenage girl doesn't mean I can't take care of myself .
Sincerely, 15 year old gymnast who just beat you up
Dear black people in my history class,
Please don't look at me during the civil rights unit like I'd never understand what it's like to have my people be oppressed. I may be white, but you're forgetting about the unit we just had on the holocaust.
Sincerely, The Jewish Girl who's a relative of a survivor
Dear "Are you on your Period?,
I Started my day waking up in a pool of blood, is that how you would like me to end yours?
Dear self-righteous prudes,
Please realize that the oft-quoted phrase "don't judge a book by its cover" applies to you as well. I don't call you demeaning and sexist names when you come to school with a ponytail and no makeup; why do you bully me for wearing leather and dark makeup? I am my own person and I have worth. My potential for success is not and never will be indicated by my choices of clothing.
Sincerely, a goth kid who wants equal opportunities and an end to appearance-based discrimination.
Dear Boy Scouts,,
Please stop teaching boys that gay people are aliens.
Sincerely, just let them in
Dear anti-gun extremists,
So you don't want any more innocent children killed, but you think the NRA members' children should be shot so they'll know how the school shooting victims' families felt. Not only are you hypocritical, you’re despicable.
Dear Best guy friend that I have a crush on,
When I said that I had to go ask my Dad if he woul fix me ice cream, you asked why. When I told it was because of my meal plan, you asked why you couldn't for me. Then you were surprised that none of my other friends had ever offered to do that for me. You have no idea how touching that was.
Sincerely, you're recovering anorexic best friend who loves you even more now.