Dear power outage,
Thank you for ending when I said lumos
Sincerely, my friends think I'm a wizard
Please don't hide in the bathtub and jump out at me when I check for serial killers
Sincerely, just had a heart attack
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Sincerely, a perfectionist finally at ease
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear boy in my chem class,
Do you have 11 protons?
Sincerely, you are sodium fine.
No, Hooters is not an owl-themed restaurant. Yes, I'm quite positive.
Sincerely, your loving grandson
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
Alcohol and Calculus don't mix.
Sincerely, don't drink and derive.
Dear 2 year old ,
Thank you for yelling IM RAINING while you are potty training
Sincerely, amused older sister
Dear Tim Burton,
Why do you always have me killing your wife in movies?
Sincerely, Johnny Depp
Dear Nutella I just got on my elbow,
Thanks for the help. Turns out all you need is proper motivation.
Sincerely, Licked it.
Dear Tiny sweet baby of mine,
You are, literally, smaller than your daddy's foot, how do you poop so much?
Sincerely, confused mommy
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
Quit trying to look like us in photos.... it's embarrassing to our species.