Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear cat sleeping on my bed,
Please don't be upset with me if I keep waking you up. The cute noise you make when you wake up makes me happy.
Dear Mario,
I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend.
Dear Halls,
Don't ever stop putting motivational sayings on your wrappers.
Dear ignorant people,
No I do not speak Hindu. Do you speak Christian?
Dear Real Housewives,
Your children are taken care of by nannies, your personal assistants run your errands, your maids clean your houses, you never cook, you always eat out and everything about you is plastic or injected. What exactly makes you real?
Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
You actually showed what real teenagers do...
Dear person who said "The freaks come out at night",
Uh, have you EVER been to Walmart during the day?
Dear lady at Walmart,
Don't ask me how old my son is. This supersoaker is for me.
Dear sex education teacher,
I really didn't want to know about how your first child was conceived.
Dear Mother,
You say messy room; I say booby-trap-for-anyone-trying-to-sneek-into-my-room-whilst-I'm-sleeping. Personally, I like mine better.
Dear vegetarians,
I may be eating Bambi, but you're eating Larry the Cucumber.
Dear bank teller,
Don't judge me.
Dear "Money can't buy you happiness",
I guess you've never bought a puppy then..
Dear students,
I shouldn't have to be the one to apologize if pronounce your name wrong...
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