Dear Bruno Mars,
Wouldn't YOUR eyes have to be open to know that hers were?
No matter what you hear, we had nothing to do with your mother getting pregnant.
Sincerely, the birds and the bees.
Whine and scream all I want...?
Sincerely, challenge accepted.
Dear little kids,
Please stop looking for Nemo... He's gone.
Sincerely, British Petrolium.
WHY YOU NO SPLASH ON MY FACE LIKE IN THE COMMERCIALS?
Sincerely, water all over the floor!
Can I get a KitKat for every lie you tell me?
Sincerely, give me a break.
Dear companies that thought fancy packaging would make more people buy the product,
Sincerely, OOOH PRETTY COLORS!
Dear Charles Dickens,
It was the best of moods. It was the worst of moods.
Curiosity never killed me. Let me show you how it's done...
Stop asking us for advice. We really can't tell you if he loves you or not.
Sincerely, flowers reproduce asexually.
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Don't you have a life?
Dear person in movie who is being chased by a rolling boulder.,
Don't run in front of it! Just run to the side! It won't kill you if you're not in from of it!
Sincerely, oh look, you're dead. Should've taken my advice.
Dear " spiders are scared of you",
If they ARE scared of me, then why did the GIANT one near the garage door sit and stare into my soul?!
Sincerely, I think they'll take over the world.