Dear Meghan Trainor,
I have a list of demands too. Allow me to deliver them in song form.
Sincerely, your Future Husband
Dear Boy Across the Room in my AP US History Class,
You don't talk in class, I don't talk in class. You park next to the most annoying girl in class, I park on the other side of her. We should do thes activities in a more formal enviroment. How do you feel about the prom?
Sincerely, the Girl who has had a crush on you since December
Dear College Board,
Sincerely, Frustrated Student
Dear school staff,
MY SON IS ALLERGIC TO WHEAT! I don't care about your damn healthy eating program, if you try to feed him wheat, he could have a major reaction.
Sincerely, Try and force him again and I will see you in court.
My girlfriend and I spent the night at her house making a pillow fort, doing each other's hair and talking about Schwarzenegger's abs.
Sincerely, Even lesbian sleepovers aren't as x-rated as you imagine (sometimes anyway).
Dear slow walkers in the hall,
Natural selection, natural selection...
Sincerely, frustrated girl stuck behind you 10 minutes late to class
Dear people who assume all Americans are racist,
The fact that you generalize and stereotype us all makes you as racist as you're claiming we are.
Sincerely, an American girl who just wishes we could live and let live
Dear Girl on the bus,
Thanks for giving me the peace sign through the window and then waved by when the bus rolled away. You reminded me of a great friend from way back in the day. Made my day.
Sincerely, guy in the car at the stop sign.
Please realize raising your voice will not magically make you correct, or make us suddenly stock that set of dishes you want.
Sincerely, and no, my manager isn't going to be able to magically make it happen either
Dear child who used welfare for its correct purpose,
We are not upset about helping you. It is the druggies who will do nothing but take the free stuff because it is easier than working
Sincerely, so proud that you got out.
Please shut up , he is yours
Sincerely, paranoid girl whose afraid to lose him
WAit, wait, wait, back up. YOU are upset with ME because MY safe, where I keep all of MY personal documents and MY emergency fund, was locked and YOU couldn't get in? What POSSIBLE reason could there be for you to need to be in there, at all?!
Sincerely, Good to know you're a klepto
Please stop assuming that I had a baby to stay with you (despite of the fact that I moved away). You are doing him a disservice by holding on to that. He's a perfect little boy, whom you should be proud of. You won't be the only person who regrets that you're taking him for granted.
Sincerely, refused to get another abortion, and happy to be a mom.
Please come back. I know things were rough when I was in school, but they'll be different now. We can order pizza and hang out for hours, just after I get my work done, or when I get another job where I can bring you along.
Sincerely, apologizing neglecter