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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear teenage mother,
You're trying on pink and zebra striped hooker heels while ignoring your baby is in his stroller crying for his mommy... You should be worried about him, not how sexy your shoes look.
Dear mom,
Please stop comparing me to others.
Dear Mischa,
Please continue to humble me with your intelligence and kindness. An even greater privilege than watching you grow and learn is getting to grow and learn with you.
Dear everyone judging me for attempting to loose weight,
Please realize that I'm loosing weight for myself in order to live a healthier life. I'm not trying to become "hotter" for guys.
Dear guy in my project group,
Please continue to smile like I made your day just by walking into the room. When your face lights up like that, I can't help but smile too. You might just be the perfect person to help me heal.
Dear CPS,
He tripped. Toddlers do that sometimes.
Dear guy in the library,
Please stay the same. Thanks for screaming "Oh no! Dobby's closed the platform! However will we get back to Hogwarts?" when i accidentally ran head first into a wall
Dear universe,
Please give my best friend a break. No teenager deserves cancer, especially when his mom died from it 3 years ago.
Dear girlfriend,
Please never stop trying to make me smile, you always succeed, and your perseverance has kept me alive for two years
Dear Mom,
Please stop crying. I promise I love you. I just really don't like physical contact, hugs included.
Dear School Board,
So let me get this straight. You have enough money to re-fit the football players with new equipment every, but it's not in the budget to get some new robes for the choir?
Dear Guys That Want to take a Girl on a Date but Don't Have the Cash for it.,
Please consider what my boyfriend did for our first date: He made lunch and we went to a cheap/free nature park for a picnic and to walk around. Best, and most cheap, first date I ever had
Dear friends and family,
No, I don't wish I had a sister, I'm quite content with only having brothers. In fact, I've always been thankful I don't have sisters.
Dear table of loudly bragging frat boys,
Oh please, give it a rest. Do you see the 40-something gentleman with the gray beard, sitting quietly at the table in the corner? I promise, he got more action this weekend than all of you.
Dear homophobic mother,
Let me get this straight...I am not allowed to see my girlfriend period, let alone bring her to the house, but your other daughter can bring a new guy every week to her room where both you and I have found condom wrappers and alcohol?
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