Also By UsSpokesSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much Money
Dear Pokemon Go Creators,
Thanks for creating a game that brought my child hood back to life.
Dear Delivery Team,
Please do remember to put the item you're supposed to deliver in the delivery truck next time. At the very least, call the person you're supposed to deliver that item to during the delivery window you provided and tell them you won't make it. Making a customer sit around for 3 hours past that window just to be told that the item won't arrive today is very unprofessional.
Dear One Size Fits All,
You definitely don't fit me.
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
Please look at me. Your dating one of my best friends and I am okay with that. We are bound to meet in social gatherings, so please help me fix this weird gap. Because I don't want his awkwardness to hurt your current relationship that would simply hurt me even more.
Dear Father,
Please stop saying "Your generation does not [___]." Yes, my generation does. Just because I, as an individual, do not partake in whatever it is, that does not mean it's rare or taboo. You are making assumptions about a large group based on your outdated childhood and my non-representative actions. Your bias is so blatant yet you're so blind.
Dear intern,
so, this is your first year working part-time at my job, you don't do very well and your school wants to kick you out because you can't meet their expectations. Yet you expect me to follow your rules. The ones we clearly disagree on and are in no way logical. You can't even say "please" and "thank you" in a job where you're supposed to educate children, just because you don't like me and my opinions.
Dear college which I attend at great financial cost,
if you require a course to graduate, either also require the prerequisite courses upfront so I know I need to take them or don't require prerecs.
Dear those who are heartbroken,
Please know you can survive it! It may take a long time. You may feel weak, fragile and shattered. Time does heal, the pain will ease even if doesn't seem like it at the moment. You might not be the same, that is okay. Focus on the new you and what you really want, despite how hard that may be. Losing love can hurt physically and emotionally. Remember to forgive yourself. Always forgive yourself!
Dear fate,
Since my two of my closest friends are dating now, can you get all the other couples I'm sure will get together at some point, you know, get together sooner? I'd like to place some bets.
Dear People of the USA,
Please You've got to know that the electoral college is actually on it's way out... Like... one state has already changed the way voting goes so that the actual people's vote is what gets represented ( not this whole, oh so and so won our state by like 2% so every vote goes for so and so). Seriously, vote for who you want, not what everyone else is saying the only viable option is. "Only one of the two will win" is only a thing because everyone believes it's a thing.
Dear love of my life,
Please continue to be amazing. You're the best part of everyday. Thank you for putting up with all my moods, being there for me when I fall and always believing in me. I can't wait to spend forever with you. I love you now and for always.
Dear next tattoo,
Please stop being so difficult to acquire. You've been planned for months, but every time I'm free and financially stable, something gets in the way.
Dear older cousin,
I know most of our family won't understand your quarter life crisis, but I fully support your decisions. You've been on the straight and narrow for 25 years, time to spread your wings and see where you can fly to.
Dear Mom,
Please try being in my corner for once rather than just assuming that judgemental assholes who don't even know me are right and I'm a bad person.
Dear clerk,
No, we don't have thirteen months in Brazil. I just wrote the date they way we do.