Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Mary Poppins,
We have been informed that you have used magic is front of muggles. Your trail is set for next Friday at eight.
Dear U by Kotex,
You're right. Now that all my pads and tampons come in highlighter colors I'm so excited to get my period!!!!
Dear offended friend,
Please know I am giving my boyfriend a VERY long talk later.
Ark Diary Day 67,
Griffins are freaking delicious
Dear Fred and George,
You had the Mauders Map, and yet you never said anything about Ron sleeping with Peter.
Dear Will.I.Am,
Please name your son Sam.
Dear Hunger Games,
Wait, wait, wait. If they're on camera all the time, when do they pee?
Dear Disney Princesses,
How do you all speak English??
Dear world,
My step daughter talked to animals, lived with 7 old men, let strangers into the house, and married a man who went around kissing dead girls. And you wanted me to let her rule my kingdom?
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear guys everywhere,
No, sir, your balls are not bigger then mine. Mine were so big that they had to be put on my chest to avoid chaffing.
Dear people who like nerdy jokes,
The past, present, and future walk into a bar...
Dear Ginny Weasley,
It's a journal, not a diary.
Dear world,
No no no, guys...I said I hate FIGS!
Dear World,
You shouldn't make jokes about tampons, period.
THIS IS PAGE 4
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