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Dear thirteen year old brother,
Your Xbox is not more important than family time. Your online friends can wait 20 minutes.
Dear Parents,
Please understand that while I am on the internet much of the time... It doesn't mean I have no life and no friends. It's not my fault that the few friends I have in this town can't ever hang out. Please stop comparing me and my lack of sociality to my extremely popular brother. If he's happy hanging out with a bunch of people that don't really like him... The more power to him. But it's time you realized that I'm not that person and I'd much rather be lazy at home, talking to people I like who live thousands of miles away, than to be with the jerks who live nextdoor.
Dear Women,
Please don't worry about whether or not you're beautiful. We're only reinforcing the idea that OUR appearance matters, but mens appearances don't. Whether you're skinny, fat, tall short, etc. it's not about whether or not you're beautiful. It's about whether or not that matters.
Dear teachers,
Why do you let your bad students get away with all of the crap they do, but when your good students do the same thing you yell at them?
Dear Ex Fiance,
Please be happy, don't let anyone hurt you, find a good guy, save your money, love yourself and take care of your dad because he needs you. I love you and I think about you every day.
Dear Former Friend of my Daughter,
Please remember that when you call someone names and threaten to kill them on Facebook, your account may end up being canned by Facebook.
Dear Boyfriend,
Please exist
Dear everyone,
If someone doesn't understand what you just said, don't repeat the exact same thing at a high volume. Take the time to restate what you mean in a different way, preferably tailored for your audience.
Dear people,
Please dont talk to me while my earphones are in.
Dear Girls with big breasts that say girls with small breasts can't complain,
I am not saying that I want giant knockers bigger than my head that give me horrible back pain. I just want to wear cute shirts and dresses and have them fit. It would make me feel better about myself that I don't have to dress like a boy.
Dear People who say that "Gays are equal" and "Everyone can have their own opinions on their lives",
Why is it that I can't have my own opinion to say that I don't approve of homosexuality? Maybe I find it unnatrual that woman are with woman and men are with men. SHOW ME HOW YOU REPRODUCE?!
Dear My AP European History Teacher,
Please understand that I, and all of your students, have responsibilities besides doing 2 hours of homework every night for you.
Dear deaf people,
When people who can hear think, they think in their voices. How do you think?
Dear Giant Spiders,
Please realize that I am perfectly ok with you when you're outside. I'm even ok when you're sitting right outside my front door. But if you come into my apartment, I will squish you. So just stay outside.
Dear Microsoft,
Please stop telling me how many million people have upgraded to the latest version of Windows, and please stop confronting me with an ad for it. The Windows I have at the moment is fine and I don't need or want a new version. If you must keep upgrading things, stop trying to force the upgrades on people.