Dear people who complain that no one will let them over,
Maybe they would let you over if you had your blinker on...
Sincerely, they're not mind readers, people.
Thank you for always being there for me, even when I said I hated you.
Sincerely, We are all lucky to have you
Dear Gun Toting Americans,
Please realise that everyone else is sick of you acting shocked every time there's a mass shooting.
Sincerely, countries who don't think citizens need assault rifles
Dear People who say 'High School isn't that bad',
I don't know what planet you guys live on, but it's pretty shit down here. I'm happy that you guys survived but a little support for those who aren't as lucky would be great.
Sincerely, Depressed Student
What in hell made you start this, and what the hell possessed you to continue?
Sincerely, someone who just took their first draft
Dear everyone arguing about bikinis,
To each their own. Some girls might feel comfortable in bikinis, and some might not. There's no point arguing about it here.
Dear people who take the elevator,
Please take the stairs if you are going up/down one floor, and are physically able.
Sincerely, don't be lazy
I'm not even really offended. I just think it is terribly sad that your experiences have led to your first response to getting a big tip is to tell the customer that you are not a whore.
Sincerely, saddened customer
Please contact me with your test results. Mine were negative, but I'd love to know what you exposed me to. Oh, and thanks for accusing me of giving you an STD and then dumping me. You're right, "that shit doesn't just happen", but you didn't get it from me!
Sincerely, your STD free "slut"/ex-girlfriend
Dear no thirteenth floor,
Please explain why you skip straight from twelve to fourteen. What makes you so sure that whatever makes thirteen unlucky can read numbers but can't count?
Please stop saying it's wrong or not normal for teenagers to be having sex. According to biology, yeah, it's totally normal. In fact, we're wired to do so. Nowadays it's just impractical and unwise, but it's certainly not strange.
Dear parents at the pool,
Please f*cking pay attention to your little kids...
Sincerely, lifeguards who are sick and tired of pulling out the same kid repeatedly
Dear little boy, ,
Please continue naming fruits I smell like
Sincerely, it makes my day every time
Dear customers at work,
Please stop calling me a good girl for doing my job
Sincerely, the throughly creeped out ADULT