Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Dear Boys,
You do realize how many weapons and poisons are in the kitchen, right?
Dear world,
Remember, math puns are the first sine of madness.
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Dear Dad,
Please stop threatening to leave me at home if I'm not ready for school on time. That isn't a real punishment.
Dear cat,
Come on, you and I both know you are too fat to fit in that-.
Dear boss who said "Send some faxes...like a boss",
I never want to leave this job.
Dear Fairy Godmother,
So where were you when both my parents died, the only family I had left enslaved me, abused me and hid me away from the world for years? But hey - thanks for the pretty dress!
Dear guy who just stole my bag,
Good luck with that..
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Dear Professors I asked a recommendation from,
Telling me to write it and you'll just sign it?
Dear tall people,
Watch out. We bite ankles.
Dear mothership,
We have contacted the humans, but they think it's dubstep.
Dear English teacher,
Yes, I CAN go to the bathroom, and if you keep pestering me any longer you'll see for yourself.
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
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