Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Sincerely, think about it
You do realize how many weapons and poisons are in the kitchen, right?
Remember, math puns are the first sine of madness.
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Sincerely, yeah, I didn't think so.
Please stop threatening to leave me at home if I'm not ready for school on time. That isn't a real punishment.
Come on, you and I both know you are too fat to fit in that-.
Sincerely, wait, how'd you get in that box?!
Dear boss who said "Send some faxes...like a boss",
I never want to leave this job.
Sincerely, you just got so much cooler
Dear Fairy Godmother,
So where were you when both my parents died, the only family I had left enslaved me, abused me and hid me away from the world for years? But hey - thanks for the pretty dress!
Dear guy who just stole my bag,
Good luck with that..
Sincerely, a cross country runner
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Sincerely, if it's so stupid, then why is numer 29 singing along?
Dear Professors I asked a recommendation from,
Telling me to write it and you'll just sign it?
Sincerely, Going to make myself sound like the greatest student you have ever had.
Dear tall people,
Watch out. We bite ankles.
Sincerely, short people
We have contacted the humans, but they think it's dubstep.
Dear English teacher,
Yes, I CAN go to the bathroom, and if you keep pestering me any longer you'll see for yourself.