Dear best friend,
Thank you for being as weird as me
Sincerely, your best friend
I don't know what your issue is, or what mental handicap you have, but you need to get a grip. You don't get a free pass to attack someone just because she walked by you on the "wrong side".
Sincerely, if that sort of thing sets you off, you probably should just stay home
Just because I freak out when you walk in my room doesn't mean I'm hiding something.
Sincerely, Your 16-year-old daughter that isn't doing drugs, but rather just wants some privacy
Dear Passerbys giving me dirty looks,
Yes, I am holding a baby that looks like me. Yes, I am with my boyfriend. No, she is not ours...
Sincerely, babysitting my adorable niece
Why is it okay for Caitlyn Jenner to identify as a woman, but not for Rachel Dolezal to identify as black?
Dear boyfriend ,
Thanks for persuading everybody at the costume part that mine was the best because I was obviously Waldo and couldn't be found
Sincerely, miserably sick at home
Dear Hawaiians riding dolphins to school and Austrailians with pet kangaroos,
We also know how you feel.
Sincerely, Alaskan who lives in an igloo with my pet polar bear.
My condolences on the fact that you have terminal cancer (and may I say you look, and sound, very healthy for being in Stage Four). However, the fact that you "don't have long" to enjoy these video games doesn't qualify you to pay even less for them than you already are. You don't have long to enjoy your money, either, so you might as well hand the requiste amount over to us to pay for those games you so dearly want.
Sincerely, You already got a 20% discount, so I don't know what more you want
Dear Jobs I applied for,
Please think about getting back to me sooner. I found a better job while waiting, and 3 months is a dang long time to wait to hear that I wasn't accepted.
Sincerely, I hope you go out of business
Please stop exacting revenge because I didn't give you a baby
Sincerely, girl in som serious pain
Dear People who are mean to fat people.,
Please dont tell fat people that they jiggle when they run. They know that, thats why they're running!
Sincerely, BFF to the jiggly people
Screw you. I've got chocolate.
Sincerely, single people everywhere.
Please stop reducing our favorite video gamer characters to sex objects.
Please stop accusing me of not being a virgin. I am dating a great guy who loves me and respects my wishes.
Sincerely, honesty and truly waiting for marriage.