Dear people at the table next to mine,
Please only talk about interesting topics.
Sincerely, bored eavesdropper.
Isn't it amazing what we can do when the PlayStation network is down?
Sincerely, acuctally did my homework for once!
Dear Steve Jobs,
You are the apple of our 'i'.
Sincerely, the rest of the World.
"Please" and "thank you" are not the magic words.
Sincerely, Harry Potter.
You complain that you can't take your shirt off on a hot day like boys can. But please know that you are more than welcome to.
Congratulations on becoming a verb!
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Sincerely, the United States of America.
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Sincerely, wearing a strapless dress.
Please respond when I answer the phone and say "Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?"
I didn't slap you. I gave you a flatbread knuckle sandwich.
Sincerely, shut up.
Dear Julius Caesar,
What did you think Brutus meant when he said, "I got your back"?
Sincerely, some things should be taken literally.
I'm not sure we can fix it...
Sincerely, Bob the Builder.
Try your best and make it through these four years.
Sincerely, a college student.
Dear marshmallow and graham crackers,