Please realize that just because I am an attractive girl in a skirt at a club with friends does not mean I want to sleep with you.
Sincerely, I could totally do better you douche
Please remember going to a gay bar is fine, but slapping and swearing at gay guys who don't want to sleep with you makes you an arse
Sincerely, Just don't
Dear annoying boy,
Please stop telling me to get a boob job, put on makeup and straighten my hair everyday, and wear tight, revealing clothes. Contrary to what you may believe, I'm perfectly happy the way I am and am starting to really resent you.
Sincerely, an average, plain girl
Dear embarrassed customer,
You're 19, I'm not judging you for buying candles, flowers, and condoms. I am, however, judging the 18 year old mother who is 8 months pregnant with a 2 year old in the cart buying a 6 pack of beers, 2 vodka bottles, 2 cigarettes packs, and some condoms.
Sincerely, I hate to judge customers but sometimes I have too.
I'm a 17 year old girl who drinks, smokes, goes to parties, and has lost her virginity. Oh, and I'm a straight A student who got all 5s (highest score) on her Advanced Placement tests, a 2280 on her SAT, and is loyal to her family above all.
Sincerely, drugs and sex aren't going to ruin my future anymore than your judgment would
I just found out that a groundhog is the same animal as a woodchuck.
Sincerely, this almost feels important.
Dear people saying skinny is ugly,
Please remember, weight issues go both ways.
Sincerely, couldn't gain weight if I tried.
I think you'll be great
Sincerely, a Whovian
Dear brother's girlfriend,
You've been together for four years, starting in sophomore year of high school, and you've been to hell and back together. Seeing you two hang out just makes everyone else grin like idiots because you're so obliviously happy. I may not know you too well, and we might not spend as much time together as I would like, but I have a solution.
Sincerely, marry him soon?
Please create Google Global: an app that pairs two users across the world and allows each to chat in their respective tongue. Each time a user opens the application, there will be a new user from another country on the other end.
Sincerely, The World
Dear overzealous political correctness pushers,
There is honestly nothing I can say that won’t offend you, so I'm done trying. It's your choice to be offended and the world doesn't exist to cater to your needs. By claiming we shouldn't talk about anything deemed "offensive," you're censoring some really important conversations that need to be had.
Please know that if you ask a girl if she 'wants the D' you can be assured that she doesn't.
Sincerely, Friendly PSA
Please stop making us do group work. It only shows me that everyone is stupid and/or lazy, if I want an A I will have to do it myself, and I cannot work with people (especially people who are bossy and annoying.
Please stop thinking that every Christian is a Jesus freak who hates all other religions.
Sincerely, reasonable person who learned acceptance from church.