Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Golfers,
A baseball player can hit a 90 mph ball in a screaming stadium, but you can't hit a ball that isn't even moving unless it's totally quiet?
Dear owner's new queen-sized bed,
You are mine now.
Dear high school "Dance Team",
No, seriously, we appreciate you. Our country needs future strippers, too!
Dear Kid who just got called to the principal's office,
Ooooooooooooooooooohhhh.
Dear toy that makes noise,
WHERE IS YOUR OFF BUTTON?
Dear dad,
Please continue to blast Adele in the car with all the windows down when I'm having boy problems.
Dear little sister ,
You're going places kid...
Dear teacher who told me to use the bathroom during lunch,
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THEN!
Dear girls on my bus,
Yes, the Titanic was a real boat and really sank...
Dear parrot who whistled at me when I woke up this morning,
I looked horrible, but thanks for the ego boost!
Dear cricket outside my window,
It's 3 in the morning. If you haven't gotten any cricket bootie by now, it's probably not going to happen.
Dear deaf people,
Do you ever think that people are screaming when they are actually yawning?
Dear Google,
If it's not on the first page, then my search is over.
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Dear computer,
Life is too short to safely remove USB.
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