Dear automatic toilet,
You scared the crap out of me!
Sincerely, good thing I was already on the toilet...
That awkward moment when even Hufflepuff rejects you.
Dear alarm clocks,
We are far more effective than you at getting people out of bed.
Sincerely, full bladders.
Please wait until I leave the house to do your business. The 'going into your room and turning up the TV' trick is getting old.
Sincerely, your not-so-ignorant child.