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Dear World,
Three years ago, I had surgery on both legs to attempt to correct plantar fasciitis. Yesterday, I ran a half marathon.
Dear Daughter,
Please consider dating the boy who threatened to castrate his friend unless he treats you well BEFORE you consider dating that friend!
Dear Bullies,
The girl you called fat? She's comfortable with how she looks and weighs. The girl you tripped? Convinced all of her friends that you're a total jerk. The girl you called ugly? She doesn't care what you think. The girl you made fun of because she had a lot of scars? She made you listen for an hour about how she got all of them. The girl you made fun of because he was crying? She punched you right in the face. Me? Yeah, that was all me.
Dear blinker,
Please synchronize with my music...
Dear girl who says she is the most popular person in the school,
Are you sure? I didn't know who you were until yesterday.
Dear World,
What if oxygen was poisonous but it took 75-100 years to kill us?
Dear Romance movies,
STOP MAKING US LOOK BAD
Dear foreigners,
The cool kids don't ride kangaroos to school, they ride emus
Please understand,
Sincerely lines are not to be used as a second body for your post.
Dear fiance,
Please know I love you and miss you, no matter how far away you are.
Dear Valentine's Day,
Actually, violets are purple.
Dear Professor X,
Please don't try to find me. I've changed my name and moved to Middle Earth. I've got my hands full with Hobbits.
Dear cat,
Inside or outside. Make a choice.
Dear Blind people,
Why do you walk your dogs soo much.
Dear cough,
Please stop coming out at strategic moments during my classmate's presentation on conspiracy theories!
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