Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Sincerely, wait, what?
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Sincerely, Tired of Untangling
Dear officer who asked me "How high are you?",
Your saying it wrong.
Sincerely, "Hi how are you"
Dear guy at the gym,
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.