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Dear "wearing a padded bra is false advertisement",
Contrary to popular belief, i am not actually for sale.
Dear people who jokingly say they have Tourette's when they do something random,
I may randomly punch you.
Dear world,
Please understand we don't all look like we came out of a Doritos bag.
Dear girlfriend who just freaked out at me for hanging out with another girl,
Meet my sister.
Dear P.E. Teacher,
Please bring back the giant parachute.
Dear people who complained about the white Coke cans looking too much like Diet Coke cans,
Please accept our sincerest apologies. Its so much more important that Coca-Cola should cater to your needs instead of donating millions of dollars to help save the polar bears. You're right.
Dear tooth fairy ,
I know I'm a little old, but if I pulled out my tooth and put it under my pillow, would you please come? I really need the money...
Dear girls,
I don't want in your pants... I have my own.
Dear 6'2" boyfriend,
You realize I can hear your heartbeat when we hug, right? That means I can hear how fast its beating after we kiss, too.
Dear Marching Band,
We, the percussion section, are the only section that doesn't blow...
Dear dreams,
Stop ending right when I get to the good part!
Dear cookie dough,
How come you're always better than the actual cookie?
Dear person who just tweeted "if u cud recomend a book 4 me wat wud it b?",
It would be a dictionary.
Dear pants making companies,
Please stop making fake pockets.
Dear Halloween stores,
No, not all teenage girls would like to dress as sluts this year.
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