Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear parents,
When I said I was going to write a novel, I wasn't joking...
Dear "Money can't buy happiness",
Money can buy bubble wrap, Disney films and Harry Potter merchandise.
Dear college,
I really am giving up my first born child to attend you.
Dear guy on the bus watching my favorite movie ,
Thanks for noticing I was watching two seats away and for deciding to sit with me
Dear Lady Gaga,
My dresses are still way cooler than yours.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Dear boy who asked me why I wear a bra because I have nothing to put in it,
Well, you wear pants don't you?
Dear dad that started cooking bacon while I'm still in bed at 10:00 on Saturday morning,
Well played...
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Dear girlfriend,
Please be home next time I show up outside your window with a boombox and 80's music.
Dear mother starting to date again,
When did the parenting roles get reversed?
Dear couple across from me at my table in the student center,
I know you have chemistry, but I really need to study mine.
Dear 5 year old self,
Let's switch. You can be the high schooler you always dreamed of being. You can be big and wear make up and drive a car. And I get my naptime and coloring books!
Dear curious people,
Yeah, I do shampoo it... condition too.
Dear Dad,
Does this mean I can start going out with men four times my age?
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