Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Sincerely, You should have seen your face
Please stop trying to convince me to go against what my mother taught me.
Sincerely, Not supposed to put small things in my mouth
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Sincerely, a drag queen
Dear people of the internet,
Did you know a whale's fart bubble is large enough to enclose a horse?
Sincerely, I thought you might want to know
Dear Students using Wikipedia,
I hope you know that I got on and changed the page about Hilter. It was however amusing that half of you wrote that Hilter was in a secret relationship with one of his Nazi commanders.
Sincerely, your teacher
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear The World,
Please answer an important question. Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Sincerely, I don't mind running a 5K but my running group wants to run a marathon. I don't think I'm ready.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Baby don't herd me. Don't herd me. No more.
Don't be racist. Hate everyone.
Sincerely, Grumpy cat
So all I have to do is lie?
Dear "Wanna come bungy jumping?",
Dude, I came into this world because of broken rubber I'm not going out that way too.
Remember that night in Vegas 9 months ago? You have a son. His name is square. He has your angles.