Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Millionares,
If you haven't got trampolines as floors and a giant slide from your bed to your swimming pool, then give me your money because you are doing it wrong.
Dear Real Housewives,
Your children are taken care of by nannies, your personal assistants run your errands, your maids clean your houses, you never cook, you always eat out and everything about you is plastic or injected. What exactly makes you real?
Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
Dear "Money can't buy you happiness",
I guess you've never bought a puppy then..
Dear kids in elementary school,
Please go outside and actually DO something! You will have enough time to be addicted to electronics when you are older. Use your imagination or play hide and seek.
Dear softball,
You're really not all that soft, are you?
Dear mom who got a puppy so I would come home for vacations,
Best. Bribery. Ever.
Dear motivation,
Long time no see!
Dear kids who sneak candy past me into movie theaters,
You think we actually care?
Dear little sister ,
You're going places kid...
Dear teacher who told me to use the bathroom during lunch,
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THEN!
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Dear people complaining about the new facebook layout,
Mark Zuckerburg screwed over his classmates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on his new layout?
Dear colorblind friend,
Thank you for posting about the awkward moment when you thought you solved your rubix cube.
Dear "two wrongs don't make a right",
Two negatives equal a positive...
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