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Dear Guy complementing me,
Oh, my chest looks nice in this shirt? Well, your dick looks look nice in those jeans.
Dear boyfriend,
Please stop trying to convince me to go against what my mother taught me.
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Dear people of the internet,
Did you know a whale's fart bubble is large enough to enclose a horse?
Dear Students using Wikipedia,
I hope you know that I got on and changed the page about Hilter. It was however amusing that half of you wrote that Hilter was in a secret relationship with one of his Nazi commanders.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear The World,
Please answer an important question. Is it wrong to hate a certain race?
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Dear Farmer,
Baby don't herd me. Don't herd me. No more.
Dear racists,
Don't be racist. Hate everyone.
Dear Pinocchio,
So all I have to do is lie?
Dear "Wanna come bungy jumping?",
Dude, I came into this world because of broken rubber I'm not going out that way too.
Dear rectangle,
Remember that night in Vegas 9 months ago? You have a son. His name is square. He has your angles.
Dear apologetic people,
Usually "my bad" and "I'm sorry" mean the same thing... Except at funerals.
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