Dear Millionares,
If you haven't got trampolines as floors and a giant slide from your bed to your swimming pool, then give me your money because you are doing it wrong.
Sincerely, I know how to have a good time.
Dear Real Housewives,
Your children are taken care of by nannies, your personal assistants run your errands, your maids clean your houses, you never cook, you always eat out and everything about you is plastic or injected. What exactly makes you real?
Sincerely, housewife with real boobs.
Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
Sincerely, they can't stare if there's nothing to stare at.
Dear "Money can't buy you happiness",
I guess you've never bought a puppy then..
Sincerely, puppies = instant happy.
Dear kids in elementary school,
Please go outside and actually DO something! You will have enough time to be addicted to electronics when you are older. Use your imagination or play hide and seek.
Sincerely, why is a 5 year old better at Angry Birds than me?
Dear softball,
You're really not all that soft, are you?
Sincerely, black eye.
Dear mom who got a puppy so I would come home for vacations,
Best. Bribery. Ever.
Sincerely, happy college student.
Dear motivation,
Long time no see!
Sincerely, exams tomorrow and books untouched.
Dear kids who sneak candy past me into movie theaters,
You think we actually care?
Sincerely, it's a part time job.
Dear little sister ,
You're going places kid...
Sincerely, watching you play with your dinosaur nuggets.
Dear teacher who told me to use the bathroom during lunch,
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THEN!
Sincerely, why don't you ever understand that?
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Sincerely, you're not fooling anyone...
Dear people complaining about the new facebook layout,
Mark Zuckerburg screwed over his classmates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on his new layout?
Sincerely, yea, I don't either.
Dear colorblind friend,
Thank you for posting about the awkward moment when you thought you solved your rubix cube.
Sincerely, "You and 39 other people like this."
Dear "two wrongs don't make a right",
Two negatives equal a positive...
Sincerely, just saying.
THIS IS PAGE 1
