Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear prejudiced and judgmental Americans,
The Muslim families at the community center in my neighborhood were just as terrified as the rest of us on 9/11.
Dear "all white people are racist",
You do realize the irony of the statement, right?
Dear kid bullying the only openly gay boy in class,
I dare you to lay a finger on him.
Dear English Teachers,
Books are for reading, not over-analyzing.
Dear movie theater,
You see that big purse my sister is carrying? Yeah. We stopped at the Dollar Store on our way here to get candy.
Dear boy with a black eye,
When I say that I'm not ticklish it means DON'T TOUCH ME.
Dear those in need of a new drinking game,
Get your hands on a copy of Twilight, then take a shot every time Bella uses the word 'perfect' to describe Edward's face, body, voice etc.
Dear friends,
I give you permission to change my Facebook and Twitter status to "Chilling with Jesus" when I die.
Dear dream,
Please cut to the chase, my alarm clock goes off in 2 minutes, and I don't like cliff hangers.
Dear aunties,
Please stop poking me at weddings saying, "You're next" or I'll start doing it to you at funerals.
Dear woman who just asked me how far along I am,
I'm not pregnant.
Dear couple sucking face in public,
Actually, my boyfriend and I do know what it is like to be that much in love.
Dear bully from high school,
Thanks for pushing us into the same locker.
Dear Sodium,
We have a son, his name is Salt.
Dear public schools,
America's struggling with obesity and you're telling me I have to pay $130 to participate in school sports?
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