Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear people who say being pale is not cool,
I'd rather be pasty white than oompa loompa orange.
Dear Adele,
Thank you for proving that it's possible to be both famous and talented.
Dear 2012,
Now that vampires sparkle, I think the next logical step is glow in the dark zombies.
Dear alarm clock,
I love to turn you off on a friday night.
Dear Grandma,
No one can convince me to be a lawyer. I'm going to be a scientist.
Dear Mulan,
Thank you for teaching us that not all women have to be saved by a prince.
Dear boys who think about girl sleepovers,
Please realize that we don't have pillow fights and make out with each other.
Dear travel agency,
How much for a trip to Narnia?
Dear Kindergarten,
Do you offer roll-over minutes on naps?
Dear Pillsbury,
Just because you write "do not eat raw cookie dough" on the box doesn't mean I won't.
Dear autocorrect,
You're to blame for all my awkward texting mistakes, but I'll never turn you off.
Dear Disney,
Please keep bringing the classics back to the theaters.
Dear amazing looking boy who is single,
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
Dear 13 year old who just had a pregnancy scare,
Really?!
Dear people who laugh when I say I work in fast food,
Not all of us flip burgers
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