Dear makers of cherry medicine,
Have you ever tasted a damn cherry?
Sincerely, the world
Dear boy who opened the door for me,
I'm sorry that I didn't notice you and went through the other door. Thank you for chasing me down, dragging me back into the building with you and making me go through the door while you held it.
Sincerely, You made my life...and now I have a crush on you!
I thought you were texting in class. Instead, I see you playing Pokemon on a Gameboy Advance. Carry on.
Dear 90's kids,
You're starting to sound like crusty old men who want kids off their lawn.
Sincerely, "When I was you're age..."
Dear mustached teenage boys,
Shave the ferret off your face, you look like a rapist.
Sincerely, girls everywhere.
Dear twin sister,
I'll take your french final if you take my math final?
Sincerely, college here we come!
Dear person who came up with hugs,
Was the very first hug really creepy?
Sincerely, It must have been like "What are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me."
Dear person who asked if my stomach just growled,
No, there is a tiny lion in my stomach that got really angry all of a sudden and growled.
Sincerely, what do you think?
We consider a field trip successful when no lives are lost and no lives are created.
Sincerely, the teachers that came back with a very young student
Please stop the period jokes
Sincerely, You're ovary acting
Dear iPhone auto-correction,
No, I actually spelled my friend's name correct. Do not change it!
Sincerely, "Happy birthday, vehicle!"
Dear skin doctors specializing on scars,
Please stop sending me your fliers and brochures.
Sincerely, Harry Potter
Dear "I wasnt that drunk",
You were going around the bar, dipping your fingers in wine and then rubbing people's foreheads and saying "simba!"
Sincerely, yeah you were pretty drunk
And you think your time of the month is bad.