Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Sincerely, put it on.
Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Sincerely, Just saying
Dear blondes that get mad at dumb blonde jokes,
People joke that Latinos steal cars, Australians ride kangaroos, Indians work at 7-11, Muslims are terrorists, Chinese people can't drive, Black people are gangsters, and White guys can't dance. Get over it.
Sincerely, Ginger with no soul
Dear boys who ask why girls wear bras if they "have nothing to put in them",,
Please explain why you wear pants then...
Sincerely, uh, yeah I went there...
Don't you ever feel like yelling "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS" when something goes wrong?
Sincerely, it makes the situation 10x better, I assure you
You're tall. I'm short. I will periodically ask you to grab something from the top shelf.
Sincerely, you're the one who suggested I stop climbing on the counters
Dear Mr. Weasely,
The exact function of a rubber duck is a bath time companion or toy.
If I answer the home phone it's a pretty clear indication that I am, in fact, at home.
Sincerely, Why did you ask?
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Sincerely, I LOOK LIKE A DRAGON!
Dear Football team,
Yes, yes I am blaring the Tangled soudtrack from my car right next to where your practice is taking place. No I will not stop.
Sincerely, if it's so stupid, then why is numer 29 singing along?
Dear people who say "hate is a strong word",,
So would you prefer "I dislike you with the passion of a thousand burning suns"?
Sincerely, yeah, I didn't think so.
Why aren't you a unicorn?
Sincerely, You are what you eat
Dear past self,
Please remember to put toilet paper in the bathroom after you use the last of it.
Sincerely, it's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now...
Dear people who live on the second floor,
I know I'm easy, but that doesn't mean you have to constantly use me.