Dear popular guy at my school dating the quiet bookworm.,
Please never break up.
Sincerely, you're setting a wonderful example.
Dear kids making fun of my old cell phone,
Why don't we drop my phone and your iPhone from 4 inches off the ground and see whose phone is better then?
Sincerely, it calls and it texts, that's all I need.
Dear 13 year old cousin,
When I was your age I was blowing bubbles, not boys...
Sincerely, what happened to standards?
Dear "you look so much like your sister",
That's funny....
Sincerely, adopted.
Dear Sesame Street,
Please stop being homopobic and let Bert and Ernie back on the show. They are obviously just room-mates.
Sincerely, kids everywhere.
Dear Child complaining about long road trips,
Shut up! You have a DVD player and a portable game systems to keep you entertained!
Sincerely, when I was a kid I took a nap and when I woke up I still wasn't there.
Dear little girl that I babysit,
I was born on my birthday too, that's so weird!
Sincerely, little kids are too cute...
Dear parents,
If my water bottle is colder in the morning then it was when I got it from the faucet the night before, I think it's time to turn the heat on in the house.
Sincerely, your frozen daughter.
Dear gay community,
Please warn us that you are gay BEFORE we fall in love with you. Being smart, funny, nice, attractive, and a Thespian means that we are bound to love you.
Sincerely, very disappointed girl.
Dear Mum,
You know all those times I wanted to go over to my boyfriend's house? It really was just to play with his puppy and COD.
Sincerely, a daughter with self respect and a patient boyfriend.
Dear New Browser Tab,
I swear I had a reason for opening you...
Sincerely, just let me think a minute...
Dear ladies who blame their insecurities on Disney,
Vogue? Fine. Cosmo? Fine. Hollywood? Fine. Cartoon animation of fairytales? Not sure I follow your logic...
Sincerely, defending my childhood.
Dear cell phone inventors,
Please add a sarcastic button.
Sincerely, trying to explain my previous text to a friend.
Dear guy staring at me as I am taking a tampon out of my purse,
Oh do you need one?
Sincerely, Yeah, I didn't think so.
Dear family photos,
Why must you be preserved forever?
Sincerely, thanks for displaying my most awkward moments.
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