Dear parents,
When I said I was going to write a novel, I wasn't joking...
Sincerely, just got published.
Dear "Money can't buy happiness",
Money can buy bubble wrap, Disney films and Harry Potter merchandise.
Sincerely, you're wrong.
Dear college,
I really am giving up my first born child to attend you.
Sincerely, just donated an egg.
Dear guy on the bus watching my favorite movie ,
Thanks for noticing I was watching two seats away and for deciding to sit with me
Sincerely, you get cuter by the second.
Dear Lady Gaga,
My dresses are still way cooler than yours.
Sincerely, Mrs. Frizzle.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles,
Do your job!
Sincerely, teen girls everywhere.
Dear boy who asked me why I wear a bra because I have nothing to put in it,
Well, you wear pants don't you?
Sincerely, now what?
Dear dad that started cooking bacon while I'm still in bed at 10:00 on Saturday morning,
Well played...
Sincerely, your daughter who is now getting out of bed.
Dear underage girls taking pictures with beer cans,
Surprise!
Sincerely, college rejection letter.
Dear girlfriend,
Please be home next time I show up outside your window with a boombox and 80's music.
Sincerely, your cheesy, romantic boyfriend.
Dear mother starting to date again,
When did the parenting roles get reversed?
Sincerely, it's 11, you were suppose to be back by 10. Who is this guy anyway?
Dear couple across from me at my table in the student center,
I know you have chemistry, but I really need to study mine.
Sincerely, get a room.
Dear 5 year old self,
Let's switch. You can be the high schooler you always dreamed of being. You can be big and wear make up and drive a car. And I get my naptime and coloring books!
Sincerely, seems like a fair trade to me.
Dear curious people,
Yeah, I do shampoo it... condition too.
Sincerely, guy with a long beard.
Dear Dad,
Does this mean I can start going out with men four times my age?
Sincerely, the teenage daughter who'd prefer to be younger than your new girlfriend.
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