Dear boyfriend,
Don't get me wrong, I love it when you send me sweet texts... its jst less rmntic wen u spl lik this.
Sincerely, your girlfriend.
Dear elbow,
Well, I just dislocated my shoulder... but I finally licked you!
Sincerely, just won the game.
Dear Asians,
Please don't get offended when we can't tell whether you're Chinese or Japanese.
Sincerely, you can't tell whether we're Canadian or American.
Dear pizza chef,
Thanks for singing ''I throw my pizza in the air sometimes, sayin AAAYOO, it's not DiGiorno!'' while making my pizza.
Sincerely, you just made my day.
Dear girl looking at her reflection in the passing windows,
You look beautiful.
Sincerely, the cute guy you just missed.
Dear Phone Companies,
First one with a water proof phone wins!
Sincerely, just fell in the pool...
Dear 8-year-olds sitting on the bench playing video games,
Seriously? You are at the park.
Sincerely, 16-year-old on the swing enjoying reality.
Dear girls everywhere,
Marilyn Monroe was not size zero.
Sincerely, Confidence.
Dear people who say they're screwed because of their drunk facebook pictures,
You know you can take those off, right?
Sincerely, common sense.
Dear Playtex Sport tampons,
Yeah... just because I put in a "sport" tampon doesn't mean I'll have a burst of confidence through my uterus that makes me want to want do yoga and go surfing.
Sincerely, you're way off.
Dear negative pregnancy test,
You are the best thing I have ever peed on!
Sincerely, THANK YOU!
Dear school,
Thanks for having free wifi.
Sincerely, math class just became bearable.
Dear person at my door,
Usually if I don't answer after 15 minutes, I most likely won't answer after 30 minutes.
Sincerely, calling the police.
Dear phone,
I thought when I put you on "silent" mode, it meant that you would be silent.
Sincerely, "PLEASE SAY A COMMAND!"
Dear people who have never been kissed,
Don't be sad you've never been kissed. Be glad you didn't waste it on the wrong person.
Sincerely, patience.
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