Dear pervy guys staring at me as I eat my Popsicle,
Sincerely, oh I even broke the Popsicle stick.
Dear "roses are red, violets are blue",
False. Violets are violet by nature, and roses, depending on their genotype, can be a variety of colors.
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
Please stop calling yourself a werewolf. You're an animagus. Now, please turn to page 394.
Sincerely, Professor Snape
My aim is to keep the toilets clean, your aim helps
Sincerely, Ryan Gosling's parents
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
Thank you for teaching me that if you don't finish something, it really isn't the end of the world
Sincerely, a perfectionist finally at ease
Sincerely, you should be studying right now
Just one question. How do you get that t-shirt over your head?
Sincerely, that's not possible.
Dear Tiny sweet baby of mine,
You are, literally, smaller than your daddy's foot, how do you poop so much?
Sincerely, confused mommy
Dear people who ask me how I get good grades,
My blood type is A positive...
Sincerely, ...so you could say A's run through my veins.
Dear cute girl,
On a scale of one to America, how free are you?
Sincerely, want to hang out?
Your complaints about the monster under your bed offend me.
Sincerely, your twin on the bottom bunk
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Sincerely, man wearing his wife's yoga pants at the grocery store