Dear people in their cars that honk.0034 seconds after the light turns green,
I swear to God, if you do it again, I will turn off my car, sit on the hood, and feed birds for an hour.
Sincerely, pissed off driver
Dear fellow schoolmates,
I was so proud when all four hundred of us left the gym when the DJ played a Justin Beiber song.
Sincerely, Never been prouder
Dear roommate who left for a week to Iowa,
Thank you for leaving me completely unsupervised and in ownership of a big screen TV, surround sound speakers, and all eight Harry Potter movies.
Sincerely, DOBBY NEVER MEANT TO KILL! DOBBY ONLY MEANT TO MAIM, OR SERIOUSLY INJURE!
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Sincerely, And while you're at it, make a face wash called eyes, ears, mouth and nose
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Sincerely, I wrote it during lunch.
Dear chemistry teacher,
Whats Ba+Na2 synthesize into?
Sincerely, BANANA. Now thats an equation.
I liked you better in my soup.
Sincerely, confused algebra student
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Sincerely, Careful... She bites
I'm not mad that you didn't get me a present; I'm just kinda disappointed that you forgot about my birthday...
Sincerely, your twin.
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Sincerely, have her home by midnight
Please refrain from using the phrase 'booyah'. There is only one person that can pull that off.
Sincerely, Ron Stoppable
Dear I love you like Snape loves Lily,
I love you like Lily loves Snape.
Dear thirsty person trying to get the last bit of water at the bottom of the cup,,
Hold brothers. Hold. Charge!!
Sincerely, ice currently attacking your face.
Dear "soap-free" soap,
Sincerely, that doesn't even make sense.