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Dear World,
We need some good news! I just got engaged!
Dear world,
Bacon isn't actually as good as you make it out to be.
Dear people who use the "free speech" defence,
Free speech allows you to escape punishment for criticising the government. It does not give you free reign to say whatever you like. While you can say whatever you like, you will receive consequences. Try telling your boss to "go fuck himself" and watch as you get fired. Go threaten to kill a police officer and watch as you get arrested. Go spread bigotry and watch as everybody mocks you.
Dear boys,
Never ask a girl if she is PMSing
Dear Anatasia Steele from Fifty Shades of Grey,
It is not BDSM. It is abuse. Run.
Dear Fellow Females,
How the heck do I go about learning how to dress properly? I go into a store and get overwhelmed by too many choices.Why don't women have an easy standard for nice clothes like men do?
Dear coworker,
You know what the best way to pass a drug test is? Don't do drugs.
Dear People who only preach about "equality" for a certain group,
If the LGBT community can have Gay,Lesbian,Bi, or Trans parades, then I want to be able to have a Straight parade or no sexual orientation gets to have one. If the Black community gets a whole month dedicated to their history then there should also be a White, Hispanic, and also Asian History Months or no race gets one. If women want to be treated as equals to men then they also need to take on the responsibilities and consequences it comes with and not get favored in places like courts.
Dear customer,
You're right, your needs are much more important than my own. But, the great thing is that all of the other customer's collective needs are far, far more important than yours could ever be. So, it doesn't matter how much of a tantrum you throw, I'm still kicking you out for disturbing the other patrons.
Dear Ariel,
Why didn't you just write out a message to Eric?
Dear parents against vaccines,
Homeschool your kids if you don't want them catching a cold from us. I also don't want the flu from them since they didn't get a vaccine.
Dear slow walkers in the hall,
Natural selection, natural selection...
Dear guys on tinder,
Pics of you with your arm around a girl does not exactly help your chances.
Dear guy who stands up for me when other guys call me 'fag',
Please don't turn around and start labeling everything you see 'gay'
Dear Professors,
Please be generous.
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