Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear girls who constantly complain about boys who stare at their cleavage,
Just an idea, wear your boobs on the inside of your shirt.
Dear "Money can't buy you happiness",
I guess you've never bought a puppy then..
Dear mom who got a puppy so I would come home for vacations,
Best. Bribery. Ever.
Dear pillow,
Sorry for all the, drool while I sleep, tears when I'm sad, punches when I'm angry, and times I used you to hit others...
Dear guy staring at me,
Yes, I'm playing Pokemon. Yes, I'm also pretty.
Dear cute boy,
Sorry for your bloody nose. But to be fair, I DID warn you not to tickle me...
Dear little sister ,
You're going places kid...
Dear "bring a quiet reading book to class",,
Umm, aren't all books quiet?
Dear teacher who told me to use the bathroom during lunch,
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THEN!
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Dear computer,
Life is too short to safely remove USB.
Dear colorblind friend,
Thank you for posting about the awkward moment when you thought you solved your rubix cube.
Dear highschool,
It's nice that you bought every single one of the our rooms a 10,000 dollar smart board projector, but I would have much rather had air conditioning.
Dear foreign host family,
Really, I promise, the problem is not that I can't hear you, it's that I can't understand you.
Dear guy who told me to "send pics" of my slumber party,
Here's a picture of a girl with no makeup, her hair up, in sweatpants and a T-shirt. And yes, we're watching Finding Nemo.
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