Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Doctor,
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Dear Headphones,
I know you love each other. Please don't try to be naughty when I am gone.
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Dear whoever made the desk/chair combo for colleges,
Please fix the center of gravity on those things.
Dear doctor looking in my ear,
I broke my ankle...
Dear dad,
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
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