Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear jerk ex-boyfriend,
Please continue to tell me repeatedly that I'm never going to find anyone else like you.
Dear person I'm talking to,
Please do not ask me "North or South?" when I say I'm Korean.
Dear <,
Just think, ten years ago, we didn't even know each other. Bless this generation for bringing us together!
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Dear floor,
I missed you!
Dear skinny guy riding a motorcycle who nodded at me,
Just because you are riding a motorcycle does not automatically make you cool or attractive.
Dear paycheck,
OM NOM NOM.
Dear Mr. President,
Roses are red, violets are blue, Osama is dead, can I now bring my shampoo?
Dear women,
It's not men's fault they look at your boobs. More massive objects bend more light.
Dear boyfriend,
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Dear people of the world,
I will always be ahead of you, and in the future.
Dear Apple,
"If you don't have an iphone, you don't have an iphone".
Dear girl who I saw wearing my clothes that I left on the bus,
Yeah, that's creepy.
Dear Taylor Swift,
Is "back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine" code for "I really liked him, but then I became too famous for him?
Dear mom,
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
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