Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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ALL TIME
Dear Students,
Please stop going in bars when you're underage... or at least, go in another bar!!! You're not supposed to see me like this!
Dear Iceburg,
Please send my regards to global warming. Karma's a b****.
Dear Channing Tatum,
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!
Dear Curiosity,
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
Dear Men,
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Dear Owner,
When you said that I suck, did you mean it in a good way or a bad way?
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear Febreze,
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Dear people who say "It's what's on the inside that counts.",
Yes, yes it is.
Dear dad,
Please stop telling me to bang 'em hard when I go to drumline rehearsal. It's.... awkward.
Dear teachers,
Students give you apples for a reason.
Dear people asking math teachers "when will I ever need this?!",
When you're buying 68.5 cantaloupes and your friend Joe steals 1/3 of them and you need to know how many he stole, duh.
Dear Drunk people,
Just because you CAN'T dance, doesn't mean you SHOULDN'T dance.
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