And you think your time of the month is bad.
Prom? Wedding? Vacation? Date? Pretty much any important day in your life? I'm coming too!
Sincerely, your period
Dear guy customer who's credit card got declined while buying condoms,
You got cock-blocked by Visa.
Sincerely, amused customer behind you.
You are just my oversized Sims game
Dear bubble wrap factory workers,
I applaud your self-control
Please stop playing Peek-A-Boo. You're really not fooling anyo... WHAT!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!!
Sincerely, Surprised 1 year old
Dear Harry Potter,
I thought I was the Chosen One?!
Dear Ambercrombie and Fitch,
Why do all your stores have the same smell? Like a combination of date rape and bulimia?
Has anyone considered that Waldo is dead?
Sincerely, he's been missing for who knows how long...
Please stop calling me black. It's "African-American" now.
Dear Oxygen and Potassium,
Congrats on getting married. It may be none of my Bismuth, but your wedding wasn't great, it was OK.
Sincerely, a chemistry major.
Need an ark?
Sincerely, I Noah guy
I Get So Hard For You.
Above all else,I hope death was the only thing you faked.