Dear air fresheners,
Have you ever actually smelled a real ocean breeze?
Sincerely, still gagging and choking
Please keep me awake while I do my homework
Sincerely, an overworked student
Dear couple sitting next to me on the plane,
Thanks for the pamphlet on accepting Jesus. I'm Jewish.
Sincerely, well this is awkward...
Dear Racist parents,
I am sorry, but I really do like everyone no matter what colour they are.
Sincerely, Girl who can only date white guys.
Dear people who claim that being gay is wrong because the bible says its an abomination,,
It also says women wearing pants is an abomination..
Sincerely, read more carefully next time
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please find somewhere else to flutter; I need to sleep tonight.
Sincerely, Soon to Defend her Thesis
Dear girl who asked if I was dropped as a baby,
Yes, yes I was. Into a pool of sexy!
Sincerely, ...and out of a shopping cart
I really appreciate you sincerely saying "you're pretty" to me. Especially because when you said it, it was the last hour of a 10 hour plane flight on a school trip when I was wearing sweats, no makeup, a comfy sweater and my hair looked like a rats nest.
Sincerely, how did I get so lucky to get you?
Dear murderer behind the shower curtain,
Still winning that hide n' seek game? Me too!!!
Sincerely, monster under the bed.
Dear girls who say the best guys are always gay,
Why do I always go for the straight guys then.
Sincerely, one of the gays.
Dear Maple Tree,
I'll tap that.
Dear food retailers,
If you want us to eat healthy, stop making junk food so cheap and healthy food so expensive.
Sincerely, that fat guy who wants to lose weight on a budget
Please, if you can't stop using drugs for your own health, could you quit to keep our family together?
Sincerely, Disowned for loving you enough to want you to be healthy.
Please don't go through through my bag. Seriously please.... Too late
Sincerely, yes those are my pads and thanks for sharing them with the world