SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear food that's bad for you,
Please stop tasting so good
Dear "the early bird gets the worm",
Well the worm got up and died.
Dear people who complain about being in the friendzone,
Please understand that she may not be the girl for you. I acted on my affections for a girl and all it got me was a "friend" who abused me because she knew I was so deeply in love with her that I wouldn't care.
Dear Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
Your commercials make me want to buy your cereal less.
Dear girl who is now glaring at me.,
I just pointed out that you needed to fix your skirt because it was tucked into your leggings. I didn't say it loudly, and nobody else was around. I seriously don't get why you're mad.
Dear brain,
Please keep me awake while I do my homework
Dear air fresheners,
Have you ever actually smelled a real ocean breeze?
Dear couple sitting next to me on the plane,
Thanks for the pamphlet on accepting Jesus. I'm Jewish.
Dear Racist parents,
I am sorry, but I really do like everyone no matter what colour they are.
Dear girl who asked if I was dropped as a baby,
Yes, yes I was. Into a pool of sexy!
Dear murderer behind the shower curtain,
Still winning that hide n' seek game? Me too!!!
Dear tv remote,
Can we please play a new game, hide and seek is getting old
Dear Maple Tree,
I'll tap that.
Dear girls who say the best guys are always gay,
Why do I always go for the straight guys then.
Dear ex,
Please know lying about having cancer is not healthy behavior.
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