So all I have to do is lie?
Dear "Wanna come bungy jumping?",
Dude, I came into this world because of broken rubber I'm not going out that way too.
Remember that night in Vegas 9 months ago? You have a son. His name is square. He has your angles.
Dear Airport Security,
How is this gonna work??
Sincerely, abs of steel
Dear apologetic people,
Usually "my bad" and "I'm sorry" mean the same thing... Except at funerals.
Sincerely, choose wisely.
Don't be racist. Hate everyone.
Sincerely, Grumpy cat
Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to go down on you. And you're gonna love it. But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it, then I'm going to come back up and screw you, big time.
Sincerely, Fuel Prices
I Binged your girlfriend.
Sincerely, and she said "Yahoo!"
Please stop finding me! It's called witness protection and I'm SICK of moving!
Oh, it's my sister's birthday today? I had no idea!
Sincerely, a twin
Dear Last Names,
If you were given to people based on what their jobs were, then where did I come from?
Dear pinkie toe,
I am going to bang you so hard tonight.
Sincerely, the coffee table
Romeo and Juliet had sex, and then they DIED.
Sincerely, Coach Carr.
Dear teacher buying condoms,
Well this is awkward...
Sincerely, your cashier and student
I see how you work now. With images impossible for humans to read, there is no way a robot would be able to read it either. But I want to use this webpage!
Sincerely, you're damn right I entered the verification code wrong first time!