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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear air fresheners,
Have you ever actually smelled a real ocean breeze?
Dear brain,
Please keep me awake while I do my homework
Dear couple sitting next to me on the plane,
Thanks for the pamphlet on accepting Jesus. I'm Jewish.
Dear Racist parents,
I am sorry, but I really do like everyone no matter what colour they are.
Dear people who claim that being gay is wrong because the bible says its an abomination,,
It also says women wearing pants is an abomination..
Dear butterflies in my stomach,
Please find somewhere else to flutter; I need to sleep tonight.
Dear girl who asked if I was dropped as a baby,
Yes, yes I was. Into a pool of sexy!
Dear boyfriend,
I really appreciate you sincerely saying "you're pretty" to me. Especially because when you said it, it was the last hour of a 10 hour plane flight on a school trip when I was wearing sweats, no makeup, a comfy sweater and my hair looked like a rats nest.
Dear murderer behind the shower curtain,
Still winning that hide n' seek game? Me too!!!
Dear girls who say the best guys are always gay,
Why do I always go for the straight guys then.
Dear Maple Tree,
I'll tap that.
Dear food retailers,
If you want us to eat healthy, stop making junk food so cheap and healthy food so expensive.
Dear Sister,
Please, if you can't stop using drugs for your own health, could you quit to keep our family together?
Dear guy,
Please don't go through through my bag. Seriously please.... Too late
Dear friend complaining that I put you in the "friend zone",
Please don't blame me for not being attracted to you in that way.
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