Dear guy at the gym,
Sincerely, my smile LITERALLY tripped you up.
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
Sincerely, the source of the 110-decibal scream you heard today.
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Sincerely, bad puns.
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Sincerely, Question #4: The Los Angeles Lakers make me want to vomit. a. True b. True
Dear toilet at friends house,
Please flush! Please flush!
Sincerely, I do not wanna ask my friend for the plunger...
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Sincerely, but that was AWESOME.
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Sincerely, this is the last time I am giving the toilet funeral ceremony.
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Sincerely, there's a pregnant woman in your ad...
Dear Boys trying to talk to each other,,
Girls are better than you think at reading lips.
Sincerely, I think my butt looks good today, too.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Sincerely, not cleaning that up
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
Sincerely, It's Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday...