Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boys,
If you insist on taking off your shirt while sweating, you need to have a six pack.
Dear Bill Nye The Science Guy,
You are the most effective way to silence a room full of high school seniors.
Dear boss that just fired me,
It wasn't my fault! The customer said the food sucked! I just agreed.
Dear college student,
I saw everything.
Dear parents who think their child is an artistic genius,
I colored all of the Finding Nemo coloring books when you kid went to bed.
Dear people with lip rings,
When you drink a beverage and you're not wearing your ring, can you squirt it out the hole?
Dear teacher who asked the class whore to stop wearing her work clothes to school,
Thanks.
Dear Spanish speaking customers,
You're right, my butt DOES look good in these pants. I'm also pretty impressed with you almost guessing my correct bra size.
Dear four-year-old twins I babysit,
I'm never going to call it an injury ever again!
Dear sliding glass door,
You win this round.
Dear "Tear-Free" shampoo,
LIES!
Dear high school students,
Yes, I know exactly when you're texting in class. How? I used the same "tricks" to get away with it when I was in college.
Dear College Professor,
You seriously just assigned a ten page essay on the importance of sleep!?
Dear puberty,
Please hold up your end of the bargain.
Dear everyone,
What is so great about sliced bread?
THIS IS PAGE 2
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