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Dear professors telling me to always speak up to my superiors because "the squeaky wheel gets the oil",
Or it gets thrown out and replaced by a non-squeaky wheel.
Dear "Mother",
Please stop acting like your better than me and that you "know what I'm going through". Last time I checked, you didn't have depression, insomnia, or ADHD. Side note- Maybe I wouldn't hate you so much if you used my pronouns and my goddamn name.
Dear math geeks,
9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)
Dear friends new boyfriend,
Please be respectful to her. I know how you can be with people, and I swear to God, if you hurt her, I will never forgive you.
Dear God,
Please give us back Tupac and we'll give you Justin Bieber
Dear "Best friend",
I told you about my depression, but you constntly talk about how people like Robin Williams had "nothing to be sad about." So I never brought it up again. Yet any time we talk about what we're having for lunch you never fail to remind me you are gluten-free and expect me to feel sorry for you and APOLOGIZE for the fact I can eat an oreo cookie. I don't want sympathy, I want you to stop trying to make me feel like your problem is worse than mine even though the two can't be compared.
Dear paper,
Please stop bullying me.
Dear optimist pessimist and realist,
While you guys were arguing about the piece of cake, I ate it.
Dear Person Who Stole the Contents of My Wallet,
You took everything except my Starbucks card. I can't identify myself anywhere, buy groceries, get myself home, or use any of the gift cards given to me for my birthday, but I can buy a 4 dollar latte. Thanks a lot bitch.
Dear Justin Bieber,
Please shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Dear husband,
Please understand the difference between an item that is dishwasher-safe and an item that will actually come CLEAN in the dishwasher. I spend wayyy too much time scrubbing at baked-on crud that has been further cemented by the hot dry cycle. I know you think you're helping, but just let me wash it properly the first time please.
Dear Victoria's Secret,
"Canadian residents must correctly answer a mathematical skill-testing question to redeem prize," is a part of your contest rules.
Dear Alveda King,
Your uncle must be rolling in his grave. Your position directly contradicts the principles of equality he stood for.
Dear Father,
Please stop trying to make me become a plumber.
Dear Harper Lee,
Oh, you wrote TWO books now? Call me when you've written over 50.
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