Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
I'm sorry.
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Dear Dad,
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Dear Philosophy Professor,
Thank you for making me laugh during my midterm exam.
Dear toilet at friends house,
Please flush! Please flush!
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Dear dad,
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Dear Razor,
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Dear Sea World,
What would you do if I showed up carrying a fishing pole?
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Irony.
Dear Boys trying to talk to each other,,
Girls are better than you think at reading lips.
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Dear world,
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...
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