Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear "Virgin Diaries" on TLC,
Yes, I realize you've never kissed before, but you looked like two fish sucking each others faces.
Dear parents everywhere,
You'd better tell your kids about puberty and sex before I explain it to them in HD.
Dear Charlie Brown,
You realize that Lucy keeps pulling the football away because she likes you, right?
Dear older brother,
Please stop making me do all your chores.
Dear Harry Potter World in Orlando,
I bet Harry Potter didn't have to pay $10.50 for butterbeer.
Dear America's Got Talent,
Two British judges and a Canadian judge?
Dear guy who flipped me off on the freeway,
Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's not scary coming from the driver of a Bug...
Dear horrified sister,
Why are you looking at my browser history?
Dear cat,
Just because you bathe in the middle of the kitchen for all to see does not give you a front row seat to me getting in the shower.
Dear dog,
Keep that tongue away from my face.
Dear extra cling Saran Wrap,
I was about to stick you to something...have patience.
Dear teacher,
"Hooking up" does not mean "getting together" anymore...
Dear Chinese,
Does the Chinese Cookie Monster eat fortune cookies and then say wise things?
Dear dude who said "it's raining like hell out there",
Rain in hell? Do go on...
Dear school earthquake drill,
Please do not ask me to get under the desk.
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