Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Trix Rabbit,
We can team up and destroy those nosy kids once and for all. And then we'll have our cereal all to ourselves.
Dear God,
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Dear creative writing class,
I'm glad you found all that symbolism in my poem. I was pretty sure I was just writing about a mountain lake.
Dear Optimist Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Dear Actors,
I'm sorry I always pause the movie when you're making the worst face possible...
Dear Mom,
How come you can't hear me yell a question but the moment I murmer a cuss word you can hear it from two rooms away?
Dear High school boys,
Just because you CAN grow facial hair doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Dear Jersey Shore Cameramen,
Do you ever want to stop filming and just punch them in the face?
Dear Google Search,
I typed in, "Why can't I..." and you filled in, "...own a Canadian.".
Dear Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this!
Dear guy asking me if I'm listening to music,
No, I'm rocking out to an audiobook on the mating habits of the Canadian goose.
Dear neighbors blasting rap,
This means war.
Dear boyfriend,
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
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