Dear judgmental virgin girls in my school ,
Please, we've been together for years, talk regularly about marriage and kids, and I wear the promise ring he gave me
Sincerely, that's not the definition of a slut
Dear really quiet guy I like,,
Thank you for complementing me.
Sincerely, I could see how much courage that took. I hope I replied well.
Tweeting where you're hiding from the cops...genius
Sincerely, the seniors laughing at your arrest
If you dont' want tomatoes on your burger, just ask us not to put them on. If you tell us you are allergic to tomatoes, then yes, we are going to remove both the tomatoes and the ketchup, because, guess what, ketchup is made from tomatoes.
Sincerely, the "moronic deaf" cashier
Please stop trying to prevent guns in schools with gun laws
Sincerely, since when do criminals follow laws anyways?
Dear people who think all kids born '98+ are lost causes,
Actually, some of us don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, babysat for our phones, read and write every day, and know how to spell and use the parts of speech correctly. I know being bit in 1999 doesn't make me a 90s kid, but I still function properly.
Sincerely, thirteen-year-old girl who loves Harry Potter just as much as you.
Dear stupid tailgater ,
Please get off my ass or I will go 10 under the speed limit.
Sincerely, just trying to teach you manners and patience
The document written by my professor and downloaded from Blackboard does not contain a virus. Please stop trying to tell me that it's unsafe.
Sincerely, annoyed student
Please stop calling me a loser for deciding to save myself until marriage.
Sincerely, I just want someone to support me in my decisions. Please.
Dear people who think you know me,
Sincerely, that's okay, I don't either
Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Sincerely, Julius Caesar
Next time, please actually point or give directions when you say the item we are searching for is 'over there' .
Sincerely, your very confused children
Dear AP World teacher,
Please stop complimenting me on my study schedule, and how you wish more students were as "diligent" as me. When you asked how my grades had gotten so high so quickly after them being so low, and I told you how I had started scheduling time for panic attacks while studying. You should not take this as a good thing
Sincerely, a all AP student
Dear people who call me a hipster,
Please stop calling me one, I wear beanies because I am a little bitch when it comes to the cold.
Sincerely, I can't afford hipster clothes.