Dear teacher who said "no offense" when you called me a Negro,
I'm only half black.
Sincerely, only half offended.
Please make that squeaking sound again.
Sincerely, I don't want people to think I farted.
Dear person who thought it was a high five,
That's just how I wave.
Sincerely, things just got awkward...
Dear glasses wearer,
Please note that if you leave your glasses lying around, I will inevitably try them on.
Sincerely, friend with 20/20 vision who wants to appear more intelligent.