Dear people who say "Life is short" ,
Life isn't short, life is the longest thing anyone does.
Dear adorable little puppy,
Please stay cute forever and continue to try and protect me from the vacuum cleaner
Sincerely, I love you too
I'm really happy that you all have dates to the dance, but can we please talk about something else for a change?
Sincerely, the only one who didn't get asked
If you're going to say that you're against organ donation, and that you think people with life-threatening illnesses should be left to "just die", you might want to check who you're talking to first.
Sincerely, a girl whose brother was saved by a liver transplant.
Please remember that no matter what you look like, there's going to be someone out there that'll find you attractive.
Sincerely, people are into some pretty weird things
Dear Med student who always belittled my English degree.,
I just completed my Ph.D.
Sincerely, yes, you have to call me doctor now.
Dear High School Teachers,
How do you expect us to study for finals if you keep piling up our workload two weeks before the exams.
Sincerely, Maybe I was just destined to work at McDonalds...
Dear guest glued to their phone,
No, I don't care who just snapchatted you.
Sincerely, I invited you, not your phone.
Dear guy friend who has shoulder-length curly orange hair,
I guarantee you that there will be a girl who go crazy for your hair.
Sincerely, no matter what you say, you will get a date...
Dear mom and dad,
Please realize we have a heater in our house.
Sincerely, your daughter who's in four layers and has six blankets
Dear aspiring actors,
On a scale of Kristin Stewart to Jim Carrey how well do you show emotion?
You are not a thong. You need to accept that fact.
Sincerely, my butt hurts.
Dear divorced parents,
Please stop putting your kids in the middle. It really hurts.
Sincerely, tired of hearing how my daddy is Satan and how my mommy is a bitch....
Y'know, I used to be okay with you. I didn't even mind when you and the alphabet started hooking up. But now a three-way triangle with Latin? Seriously?
Sincerely, no, you do not need a sine!
Dear Breast Cancer,
You clearly have a discerning eye. You always pick out the most beautiful ones to nuzzle up into. Snuggling as close as you can to the kindest of hearts. I forgive you.
Sincerely, a sad and lonely daughter.