Dear little sister who rides horses,
I'm more of a "save a horse, ride a cowboy" kind of girl.
Sincerely, your male instructor is very hot!
Dear serial killer,
Sincerely, killed while I was checking behind the shower curtain.
I was just taking a power nap.
Sincerely, what did you think I was doing?
I only like you for your body.
Sincerely, English teachers.