Dear people who observe Ash Wednesday,
I respect your religion and all but it's SO hard not to stare at the cross on your head.
Sincerely, Easily Distracted
Dear self thats staring back at me in the mirror,
You aren't the same girl you used to be.. You're too large to be her.. Lets go get healthy again.
Sincerely, an unhealthy girl with body image issues
Dear girl with the highest grades in my class,
Please, like, explain to me , like, how, like, you can, like, get in to, like, the best private school, like, while, like, always talking like this
Sincerely, you make my head hurt with both your smartness and how ditzy you sound by unnecessary over using the
Dear German Guy,
Please keep in touch with me.
Sincerely, American girl that is crushing on you, Hard.
Dear frat house across from the practice field,
Please do not blast a metronome with a different tempo from what we're playing to screw us up. It was funny the first 5 minutes, not the whole hour and a half long rehearsal.
Sincerely, 380 band kids that now hate you
Please stop these shenanigans. Just come inside already.
Sincerely, Knock Knock
Behave, or you will be put up for wig adoption.
Sincerely, be good.
Dear people who make instructions,
Please make your instructions more clear. Setting up a printer shouldn't be this hard.
Sincerely, is that an ink cartridge or an octopus?
Dear Prince Charming,
I changed my mind, I'm going back to sleep.
Sincerely, sleeping beauty
I told you to not creep up on me while I'm cutting bread. Sorry not sorry about almost stabbing you.
Sincerely, paranoid woman with fast reflexes
Do our accents sound like the movie ones?
Sincerely, a genuinely curious Australian.
Dear girl that makes fun of my friend,
He has feelings too. You barely know him and he's actually really cool, but you'll never know that because you're too busy judging him and making fun of him. He's even contemplated suicide because of people like you.
Sincerely, you make me sick
Please stop letting your friends park their cars on our front lawn. I get that our doors are right next to each other but the street is literally five feet from my door. Walking the extra five feet won't hurt. My yard already looks like crap without your friends' tire tracks all over it.
Sincerely, annoyed neighbor
Dear Mormon boyfriend,
I really hope two years and 4,712 miles doesn't do any damage on us.
Sincerely, your Catholic girlfriend