Dear People who fake needing 'medical marijuana' just so you can get high,
I do hope that you never, ever, ever know the agony of intractable, uncontrollable, chronic pain ~ for which certain forms of cannabis can be of great help as a last resort
Sincerely, sick of being mistaken for a pot head
Dear frustrating heart/brain combo,
WHY do I feel like I have been in love with a boy I barely know for FOUR YEARS now?!?!
Sincerely, please just stop now?
Dear buffering circle,
Oh my gosh you are just the greatest thing ever! I get so happy and excited when you show up on my screen! I love you so please appear more often! <3
Sincerely, no one ever
Dear guy with tattoos,
no I don't want to see your "sick" ink "brah",
Sincerely, the other guy with tattoos who wants to drink his coffee
I fell in love with you. You showed no interest. Now you say you're interested in me. I've pretty much moved on.
Sincerely, Get your shit together
Dear geeky guy who texts me,
Please don't stop texting me, it makes me smile 20x more plus you're cute
Sincerely, the hopeless romantic
Please stop telling me that one box of your Mac and cheese has three servings in it.
Sincerely, I seriously eat one box by myself. . .
Stay. Don't freaking leave me, I'm not ready for school.
Sincerely, Every Student
Dear Mother in FredMeyer,
When your toddler ran off in excitement and you ran after him, I was sincerely worried you'd spank him once you caught up with him. You didn't, you simply took his hand and walked back to your cart with him. You restored my faith in today's parents.
Sincerely, The girl who believes strongly in peaceful parenting
While I still love hanging out with you guys in public, please use quiter voices when arguing whether it's the 20th century or the 21st
Sincerely, Slightly Embarrassed
Dear makers of "Quest for Camelot",
How does the stone heal King Arthur's arm and separate conjoined dragons, but fail to restore Garrett's sight?
Sincerely, I'm all for handicapped heroes, but that's a gaping plothole
For once, can you please not put me in such a bad mood when I think about how lonely I am when I'm alone? Because it's starting to really get to me.
Sincerely, the thoughts in my head that are trying to be happy.
Dear People of the Earth,
Please give me your energy!
Dear News Stations,
Please don't simply say "Breaking News from the Airport" and leave it at that.
Sincerely, Concerned daughter who's still waiting for her dad to let her know he's landed
Dear College Board,
Are you lowering your standards? How did I pass the AP Environmental Science exam when I wrote a joke instead of one of the essays? How did I pass the English Composition one when I didn't even understand the second prompt?
Sincerely, confused (but happy) student.