Dear ugly people attempting to get laid,
Dear mom who is worried about me doing drugs,
I would much rather play with a yo-yo and spin around in an office chair.
Sincerely, your easily amused teen.
You will read this a second time just to hear it in my voice.
Sincerely, Morgan Freeman.
Please. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever wear a lacy hot pink thong and a pair of white shorts on field day.
Sincerely, The innocent water balloon thrower that you just gave scars for life
Dear Random Strangers,
Yes I am very aware that I have scars, but I haven't done that in years. I'm a stronger person now, and I don't feel the need to cover them just to make you feel less uncomfortable. Don't ask me how I got them unless you want the truth, or better yet just let me be.
Sincerely, Followed By My Past
Dear girl who posted a bikini picture saying, "gettingg ma tann onnn inn earllyyy marchhh!!!!",
That's not a tan, that's spray-on Cheetos mix.
Sincerely, you live in Chicago, not the Bahamas.
They have two eyes, a brain, and a beating heart, are they any less human than you are?
Sincerely, They are human and that's all that matters.
Please leave me immediately. You will not win this war.
Sincerely, Good Cells
Dear hypocrite who said "do as I say not as I do",
Have you ever heard of the phrase "lead by example"?
Sincerely, there's a saying for everything
Dear companies searching for entry-level employees,
"Entry-level" should mean no experience needed. How am I expected to ever find a job when the entry-level positions require 2 years or more of experience!
Sincerely, a college graduate who cannot find a job.