Dear girl in the cubicle next to me in the library,
Last time I checked, you're not a cow. There's no need to chew your gum like one.
Dear TV show "What Not to Wear",
Please start doing makeovers for men.
Dear Boyfriend,
Please know that when I say I want you to pay at least a little bit of attention to me, the correct answer is NOT to say "But I have better things to do."
Dear Shakespeare,
While your writing is excellent and certainly unparalleled, your use of persons with disabilities and illegitimate children as a trophe to represent evil characters disgusts me. I don't take it personally, but like other people I am a human not a defect.
Dear 8 year old,
It made my day when you started humming a Jim Morrison song.
Dear guy who sounds exactly like the Old Spice guy,
You just made class much more entertaining.
Dear organism and orgasm,
Why must you sound so similar?
Dear short girls,
At least you don't have to worry about short guys.
Dear College Student,
What the cuss were you thinking last night?!
Dear America,
There is a time and place for being different. This is not one of them.
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