Dear girl at my school,
Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?
Sincerely, close your legs.
Dear fellow mourners,
What if Gandalf and Dumbledore are the same person? Dumbledore just cast a time spell as he fell, that's all!
Sincerely, still in denial
Please for just one day go out of your way to make your wife or girlfriend smile in some small way.
Sincerely, I promise, the result will be worth the effort!
Please thank you for sacrificing your life for me...I'm sorry I can't even sacrifice cookies for you.
Sincerely, I suck at lent
Dear organic cookies,
Since you're organic, that means you're good for me, right?
Sincerely, just ate the whole box.
No we do not ride camels to school, live in the desert, or wear ancient costume. We're just like you.
My cat just barked at me
Sincerely, you wish you were as cool as me
It's peace... PEACE!!!
Sincerely, "Good night, penis out."
Please just tell me what to do. I'm tired of guessing what it is I'm supposed to be doing, saying, or thinking.