Dear Call of Duty,
Thank you for ensuring our daughter's virginity.
Sincerely, Over-Protective Parents
Dear Tom Hanks,
Sure, just leave me in the ocean. Not like I helped you through some hard times or anything. Jerk.
Sincerely, Wilson
Dear Microwave,
Please heat up my food, not the bowl that holds the food.
Sincerely, 2nd degree burn victim.
Dear Mom,
I know I should have graduated a while ago... but the weed, alcohol, and sex are way better than a job. Thanks for supporting me.
Sincerely, 6th year senior
Dear Prince Charming,
We don't tell your story because you're the creep that kisses the dead girl.
Sincerely, Disney.
Dear people who think I'm not cool because I don't want tattoos,
You don't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari...
Sincerely, ZING!
Dear mom and dad,
I love that awkward face you make the moment you realize that in the middle of an arguement, you're wrong.
Sincerely, amused child.
Dear Wall,
Meet me in the corner.
Sincerely, Ceiling
Dear people of New York City,
Please don't look at me like I spoke a foreign language when I politely said "excuse me."
Sincerely, is it really that hard to move out of the way?
Dear audible internet ads,
You ruined the song I was listening to.
Sincerely, annoyed.
Dear King Arthur,
It's just a flesh wound.
Sincerely, The Black Knight
Dear girl who "overslept",
So you had enough time to coat your face with an inch of makeup but you didn't have enough time to put on actual clothes?
Sincerely, you're not fooling anyone...
Dear Dorothy,
Oz sucks. Took the shoes. Find your own way home.
Sincerely, Toto
Dear world,
Please stop pretending we're the only ones who are fat.
Sincerely, Americans.
Dear little boy who picked me a flower today,
Don't ever change.
Sincerely, you made my day.
