You can take your discoveries and shove them up Uranus.
Dear goldfish crackers,
It's kind of awkward eating you with you smiling back at me...
Sincerely, do you mind?
Dear man on the bus with a brain tumor on the outside of his head,
Please come in public more often to inspire more people to realize that their lives could be a lot worse.
Sincerely, girl who was amazed by your bravery and courage.
Dear Haircut Place Lady,
Do the words 'one or two inches' and 'trim' mean anything to you at all?
Sincerely, Teenage girl who is now into hats
Dear couple in my co-ed dorm that likes to shower together,
I really don't mind. It's great that you've found someone you like enough and feel comfortable around. Just try to keep the bathroom door closed and the volume down, okay? We don't need to hear all that.
Sincerely, the girl in the room across from the bathroom
Dear girls drooling over a guy's abs,
How different is that from a boy checking out your boobs?
Sincerely, disgusted guy.
Dear last line of dirt on floor,
WHY WON'T YOU COOPERATE?!
Sincerely, dust pan.
Dear smoking mothers,
If smoking is considered unhealthy while you're pregnant, what makes it ok to smoke in a closed car while your newborn is in their carseat?
Sincerely, lacking in basic parenting skills?
Dear Chemistry Teachers,
Why can't you be more like art teachers, and grade us on effort instead?
Sincerely, I'm Going to Fail This Test
Dear friends mom,
Please stop saying that Obama is just like Hitler. I get that you are republican, but that doesn't give you the right to compare our president to a man who killed millions of innocent people.
Sincerely, he isn't out to destroy our nation, either.