Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear movie directors,
Is it awkward when you're conducting auditions for the 'ugly' character?
Dear Sister,
I get that I've never had a boyfriend. But PLEASE stop trying to make it seem like every single one of my friends are my girlfriends.
Dear mom,
"I'm bored," does not mean, "I want to do chores."
Dear World,
No, that little girl with me is not my sister. Yes, I am only seventeen. And yes, I am a good mother. I graduated early, am in college, and am financially stable and living on my own. I made a mistake, but I'm doing my best and am making a good life for us.
Dear guys in my class,
Please realise that just because I haven't had a boyfriend yet doesn't mean that I'm a lesbian.
Dear chubby girls,
HA! No, no, no... Skinny jeans do not make you appear skinny... Nice try though... 'A' for effort.
Dear far away boyfriend,
You should really clean up before we video chat...
Dear Victoria,
With commercials like that, I'm pretty sure all your secrets have been exposed.
Dear TSA,
Yes, I did fall down the stairs and break my ankle just to hide a bomb in my cast.
Dear Hipster Douchebag,
Please take off that stupid hat, shave off that idiotic goatee, take a shower, listen to some happy pop music, put away that toy laptop, get a real haircut and, most importantly, GET OUTTA MY COFFEE SHOP!
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