Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear ugly people attempting to get laid,
You're welcome.
Dear mom who is worried about me doing drugs,
I would much rather play with a yo-yo and spin around in an office chair.
Dear readers,
You will read this a second time just to hear it in my voice.
Dear Teachers,
Please. Never. Ever. Ever. Ever wear a lacy hot pink thong and a pair of white shorts on field day.
Dear Random Strangers,
Yes I am very aware that I have scars, but I haven't done that in years. I'm a stronger person now, and I don't feel the need to cover them just to make you feel less uncomfortable. Don't ask me how I got them unless you want the truth, or better yet just let me be.
Dear girl who posted a bikini picture saying, "gettingg ma tann onnn inn earllyyy marchhh!!!!",
That's not a tan, that's spray-on Cheetos mix.
Dear Racists,
They have two eyes, a brain, and a beating heart, are they any less human than you are?
Dear Cancer,
Please leave me immediately. You will not win this war.
Dear hypocrite who said "do as I say not as I do",
Have you ever heard of the phrase "lead by example"?
Dear companies searching for entry-level employees,
"Entry-level" should mean no experience needed. How am I expected to ever find a job when the entry-level positions require 2 years or more of experience!
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