Dear teachers,
You do know that if you assign us less work, you'll have less to grade....
Sincerely, it's a win-win situation!
Dear Brutus,
I thought you were exagerating when you said it was going to be a killer party....
Sincerely, Caesar.
Dear computer science professor,
Please tell me you see the irony in your inability to access the school website.
Sincerely, amused but un-impressed student
Dear dog who just sniffed my crotch,
Whoa! Please don't.
Sincerely, on my period.
Dear consumers,
Please enjoy this bag of air with a dash of chips.
Sincerely, potato chip companies
Dear roommates,
You are not beautiful and unique snowflakes, you are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
Sincerely, get over yourselves.
Dear "Psychology of Sex" teacher,
Please stop using yourself as an example. You're seventy years old and I don't want to hear about your boners.
Sincerely, uncomfortable.
Dear deaf people,
When people who can hear think, they think in their voices. How do you think?
Sincerely, Genuinely Curious
Dear cat,
Please explain to me why you are so happy and purring one second and the next your claws are in my skin and your hissing uncontrollably.
Sincerely, someone has mood swings.
Dear colleges,
What happened to the scholarships for me?
Sincerely, white female without a child.
