Dear America,
Please tip your delivery drivers and food service staff that are working late shifts tonight while you're out or at home celebrating.
Sincerely, a fast food drive-thru is no place to ring in the new year.
Dear second period teacher,
"You should have gone during first"... yeah, my first period teacher told me to go during second.
Sincerely, I just need to pee...
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Sincerely, a drag queen
Dear Dad,
When I asked if "The Exorcism" was scary, I meant in the mindset of your easily scared, paranoid daughter with an anxiety disorder...
Sincerely, sleeping with the lights on and a bible tonight.
Dear naptime,
I know we had some problems when I was younger, but I want you back.
Sincerely, high schooler.
Dear french teacher,
I can't even write a decent essay in English.
Sincerely, how am I supposed to write one in French?!
Dear boy who looks awkward checking out,
Please realize that it is the cutest thing to see you buying tampons
Sincerely, I wish I had a boyfriend like you
Dear David Blaine,
You don't make large oil spills disappear perchance?
Sincerely, BP
Dear misguided social justice warrior,
So how exactly does me having a blog with pictures of places I want to visit count as cultural appropriation?
Sincerely, a wannabe traveler
Dear hot guy at the gym,
When I dropped that 45 lb weight on my foot and pretended it didn't hurt, I lied. It hurt really bad.
Sincerely, my big toe is turning purple.
