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Dear things that can't be found with Google on the first few pages,
Hello. Care to join our club?
Dear Broken Down on The Highway,
I'd stop to help you, but my car won't let me.
Dear obese man who came into my restaurant and ordered a salad,
I gave you fat-free ranch dressing instead of regular.
Dear my sister's dog,
Please stop waking me up in the morning by sitting on my face. It's so wrong.
Dear "age is just a number",
"Jail is just a room."
Dear customer service,
Repeating, "Thank you for holding" 6 different ways does not make me feel better about the fact that I'm still on hold.
Dear boys,
No, tampons do not feel like penises.
Dear childhood pop songs,
When I listen to you now, I realize how many of the lyrics I didn't understand back then.
Dear Freeloading Mother-In-Law,
Please stop everything you are doing, gather up all your crap that you've scattered all over MY house, and go live at YOUR house.
Dear 24 Hour Fitness,
Why are you closed on Sundays?
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