You think your friend zone is bad?
Sincerely, lesbian madly in love with her straight best friend.
Dear bragging parents,
I was high when I came home last night from a place I was not supposed to be.
Sincerely, your perfect daughter.
Please come back.
Dear Facebook friends,
I. DON'T. GIVE. A. TOSS.
Sincerely, Society for the legalisation of stamping out mind-numbing status updates
There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents.
Dear people of the world,
Please stop complaining about ads before YouTube videos.
Sincerely, I'd rather watch an ad for 15 seconds than pay a monthly fee.
Maybe next time you'll bring a coat.
Thank you for putting up with all of my crap.
My dad's the mayor.
Sincerely, Chris Farley