Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Pythagorean Theorem,
Because I can't wait for that moment in time when I will have a ruler to measure two sides of a triangle but not the third.
Dear Friends,
Please Don't call me a dick friend for going out with my girlfriend and not you. I have other people in my life
Dear empty milk carton,
Wow, you've got to be kidding me.
Dear 'Guns kill people',
Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
Dear stranger,
Thanks to you I wasn't stranded in the middle of nowhere for forgetting to turn off my headlights. You were seriously god sent.
Dear Sidewalks Everywhere,
Please be wider.
Dear love of my life,
Please remember me in heaven as I wear your dog tags proudly.
Dear teenage girl who lives next door,
If the robbers didn't know you were home alone before, they do now.
Dear new boyfriend,
It was really sweet to bring me on a sailing trip for our first date, but there's something you should know...
Dear Disney,
Goofy can walk, but Pluto's on all fours?
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