Dear old ladies,
Please stop driving and go back to playing bingo.
Sincerely, scared driver.
Dear pageant moms,
Yes, we totally believe you when you insist that your two-year-old actually likes sitting down for three hours to get her fake hair put on, make up done and eyebrows waxed. I'm sure she was just crying of happiness.
Sincerely, you disgust me.
Dear mom,
Thanks for naming me Bob.
Sincerely, your dyslexic son.
Dear Wal-Mart,
It doesn't matter if I have 20 items or less. My speedy check out won't be very speedy if you give me a 120 year old cashier.
Sincerely, let's reevaluate this.
Dear short people,
At least you don't have to worry about ceiling fans.
Sincerely, nearly beheaded.
Dear reader,
Some people get confused when a sentence does not end as they potato.
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear diet,
Haha, you and what army?
Sincerely, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
Dear men with beards,
Do you shampoo your face?
Sincerely, always wondered.
Dear T-rex,
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.
Sincerely, Oh...sorry...
Dear delicious food,
Why did you have to fall on the floor in front of everyone?
Sincerely, I would have eaten you if no one had been watching.
Dear Trader Joe's,
Please keep that tasty food coming at such affordable prices. You make it easier to want to watch what I eat.
Sincerely, Hungry
Dear cat,
Can we just chalk that one up to curiosity?
Sincerely, car.
Dear Ditzy girls,
Be thankful your breasts aren't the size of your brains, or you'd get no where in life.
Sincerely, Sierra
Dear children,
Please feel free to eat as much candy as you'd like.
Sincerely, one out of five dentists
Dear Lightning,
I feel like we keep missing each other by like THAT much!
Sincerely, Thunder
