Dear Americans,
We totally agree with you about illegal immigration. Please allow us to show you to the nearest airport.
Dear bicyclists,
"Share the road" goes both ways.
Dear eighth grader posting constantly that she is a pothead,
I hope you realize employers look at Facebook.
Dear Bella,
I've been a 17 year old teenage boy for over a hundred years and you actually believed me when I told you I was a virgin?!
Dear Rebecca and Jacob,
You are a disgrace to the name.
Dear date,
When you asked me out for a fancy dinner and I awkwardly told you I don't really like restaurants and asked if we could watch a movie at your place or something instead, you replied: "THANK GOD!" and we ended up watching horror movies and having pillow fights all night long.
Dear cop behind me,
Please turn, please turn, please turn!!!
Dear neighbors,
Please stop letting your friends park their cars on our front lawn. I get that our doors are right next to each other but the street is literally five feet from my door. Walking the extra five feet won't hurt. My yard already looks like crap without your friends' tire tracks all over it.
Dear lady who just hit me,
Please shut up! I don't care about your stupid car, I almost died!
Dear Potential Employers,
Having gauges, piercings, tattoos, or body mods does not make me a slacker, criminal, or a bad person. I'm just expressing myself.
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