Dear Juice Box Companies,
Please make teenager sized juice boxes.
Sincerely, just drank three...
Dear friends picking on the new lesbian girl,
Well this is going to be an awkward "out-of-the-closet" speech.
Sincerely, meet my new girlfriend...
Dear Maybelline,
Please use a different catchphrase.
Sincerely, try "Maybe It's Photoshop!"
Dear ugly people attempting to get laid,
You're welcome.
Sincerely, alcohol
Dear Husband,
Please Help with your 25 pound 6 month old
Sincerely, You're not getting laid
Dear hipsters,
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Sincerely, but everything else was made in china
Dear genetics,
I have Red hair and I have one blue eye and one eye that is half blue and half green. Plus I'm left handed.
Sincerely, it's like you meant to screw me up
Dear annoying black kid in my class,
No, it's not because you're black.
Sincerely, a non-racist white girl who actually just hates YOU, not your skin color.
Dear deodorant commericals,
No, can't say I do dance around my room sniffing my arm pits.
Sincerely, creeped out.
Dear dishwasher,
Please empty yourself for once.
Sincerely, anonymous.
