Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear dad,
Please never refer to my flip flops as "thongs" again.
Dear hot italian guys sitting behind me on the bus,
I am almost fluent in Italian and i have no problem eavesdropping.
Dear world,
Firefighters and soilders aren't the only ones who risk their lives to save yours. Police officers are heroes, too.
Dear World,
Do you think we could all just be a little kinder, please?
Dear overprotective chaperone,
Please stop your witch hunt. Now the guy I like won't even talk to me.
Dear iTunes,
I remember when the $15 cards would get you 15 songs.
Dear guy friend that sarcastically asked if I was PMSing,
I swear to God if you ever ask me that again, I will tell you stories that will make you never want to even think about vaginas ever again.
Dear patient drivers who sit behind me and don't overtake me because I'm going too slow,
Thank you. You make me so much more confident.
Dear Internet,
Together we can achieve great things.
Dear girls who tell guys to get their minds out of the gutter,
We will, as soon as you stop buying your clothes there.
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