Dear Crayola,
Please stop making all your crayons look so tasty.
Sincerely, toddlers everywhere.
Dear driver who won't let the ambulance pass,
You're a douche. What if that was your dying mother in the back?
Sincerely, watch out for karma...
Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Sincerely, a drag queen
Dear Backpacks,
Please join weight-watchers. We all think it's for the best.
Sincerely, your Humans
Dear World,
I was pushed.
Sincerely, Humpty Dumpty
Dear dog owner who just let your dog crap on my lawn,
Please clean up your dog's "present." It's not my job to deal with that shit...literally.
Sincerely, annoyed home owner
Dear guys in health class,
How do you know more about a vagina than we do?!
Sincerely, the concerned girls in your class.
Dear MTV,
I thought the M stood for music, not maternity...
Sincerely, you had me fooled
Dear everyone over the age of 17,
Please stop dating middle schoolers. If her age is on the clock, she is too young for you!
Sincerely, its called statutory rape.
Dear cellphones,
Why aren't you water-resistant yet?! It's 2011!
Sincerely, freaking toilets...
