Dear elderly couple in the car,
You didn't have to panic and quickly drive off when I knocked on your window. Your tire was flat.
Sincerely, black guy who would have helped you fix it.
Dear Dove Chocolate,
Your inspirational messages do not help me get over my self loathing after eating a whole bag of chocolates. Nice try though.
Sincerely, on to bag number two
Dear Gaddafi,
Don't press the "Get Current Location" on your iPhone. Been there, done that.
Sincerely, Osama Bin Laden.
Dear 21 year old sister,
Isn't it convenient how you always have a headache, stomach cramps, sore knees, bad vision, or have to watch the laundry dry when there's work to be done?
Sincerely, grow up...
Dear pop singers,
I can now spell banana, glamorous, ugly, unity, and love.
Sincerely, you have taught me so much...
Dear boyfriend,
Here, I can tell you're cold too.
Sincerely, we can share the jacket.
Dear MTV,
No, I am not pregnant; but I graduated from college, have a full time job and am living on my own...
Sincerely, 22 year old who could use a show.
Dear sister,
Your complaints about the monster under your bed offend me.
Sincerely, your twin on the bottom bunk
Dear teacher,
Yes I WOULD like to go up there and teach the subject.
Sincerely, now they actually get it...
Dear new pet fish,
Thanks for having 60 babies four hours after I bought you.
Sincerely, 61 fish for $2.50.
