Dear girlfriend,
When I decided to get in shape, you did crunches with me. When I felt swamped by my major, you studied with me. When I had to get my dog put down, you stood with me. Now, will you walk down the aisle with me?
Dear dog,
Please continue to curl up around my feet.
Dear group of huge boys standing in front of my locker,
Um . . . excuse . . . I . . . I really need . . . I have to . . . um, I guess I don't really think I need that book anyway.
Dear roomie,
When I told you that I'm a deep sleeper, I meant it as an explanation for sometimes not hearing my alarm clock right away. I did not mean it as permission for you to have sex with your boyfriend three feet away from me during finals week.
Dear USA,
Please learn.
Dear AP Government Teacher,
Really? Long homework on the weekend before the AP test and its due the day after?
Dear "best guy friend",
I sit at your soccer games in the pouring rain without an umbrella, go to the sketchy comic book store with you, and am willing the be the BatGirl to your BatMan so I can pass out candy with you on Halloween.
Dear Victoria,
We know your secret.
Dear school photographers ,
Making us say "grandma's undies" doesn't make us smile anymore; in fact it's kind of creepy...
Dear People Who Capitalize Every Word Of A Sentence,
Please Set Your Keyboard On Fire And Eat It.
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