Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear anti-gun people,
It's my rights, and a guy in china killed twenty people with a knife... are you gonna want to take those away too.
Dear big sister,
Please stop being so perfect. It's getting hard to compete.
Dear 6 on a hotness scale,
You're British, nice, like Harry potter... AND you don't smoke?!
Dear guy best friend,
So you're wondering why I never seem to have a boyfriend, I'm always rude to your girlfriends, invite you everywhere I go, and never object when you suddenly decide to carry me from place to place.
Dear Gym Teacher,
Remember when you told me last week that running wouldn't hurt me? My doctor says the stress fracture on the bottom of my heel would prove otherwise.
Dear girl who sarcastically said "I bet he plays xbox all day when he's not in school and doesn't have any friends" to me,
Even though you were being sarcastic, that comment ruined my entire day because of how accurate it was. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna home and play xbox and drown in my own tears.
Dear teacher that lets us use our phones as calculators during tests,
Rookie mistake.
Dear homophobes,
Jesus loved "sinners" and ate with them even if they weren't following the Bible.
Dear guy in the muscle car revving his engine at the stop light,
We get it, you have a small penis.
Dear boys across the lunch table,
Please stop looking at me like Im nuts. Yes, I ate 3 cheeseburgers and yes I weigh 108 lbs. so suck it.
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