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Dear scientists,
You can take your discoveries and shove them up Uranus.
Dear goldfish crackers,
It's kind of awkward eating you with you smiling back at me...
Dear man on the bus with a brain tumor on the outside of his head,
Please come in public more often to inspire more people to realize that their lives could be a lot worse.
Dear Haircut Place Lady,
Do the words 'one or two inches' and 'trim' mean anything to you at all?
Dear couple in my co-ed dorm that likes to shower together,
I really don't mind. It's great that you've found someone you like enough and feel comfortable around. Just try to keep the bathroom door closed and the volume down, okay? We don't need to hear all that.
Dear girls drooling over a guy's abs,
How different is that from a boy checking out your boobs?
Dear last line of dirt on floor,
WHY WON'T YOU COOPERATE?!
Dear smoking mothers,
If smoking is considered unhealthy while you're pregnant, what makes it ok to smoke in a closed car while your newborn is in their carseat?
Dear Chemistry Teachers,
Why can't you be more like art teachers, and grade us on effort instead?
Dear friends mom,
Please stop saying that Obama is just like Hitler. I get that you are republican, but that doesn't give you the right to compare our president to a man who killed millions of innocent people.
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