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Dear teachers,
You do know that if you assign us less work, you'll have less to grade....
Dear Brutus,
I thought you were exagerating when you said it was going to be a killer party....
Dear computer science professor,
Please tell me you see the irony in your inability to access the school website.
Dear dog who just sniffed my crotch,
Whoa! Please don't.
Dear consumers,
Please enjoy this bag of air with a dash of chips.
Dear roommates,
You are not beautiful and unique snowflakes, you are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
Dear "Psychology of Sex" teacher,
Please stop using yourself as an example. You're seventy years old and I don't want to hear about your boners.
Dear deaf people,
When people who can hear think, they think in their voices. How do you think?
Dear cat,
Please explain to me why you are so happy and purring one second and the next your claws are in my skin and your hissing uncontrollably.
Dear colleges,
What happened to the scholarships for me?
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