Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
You still have a law in Iowa that allows you to shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
I owe you $20 in quarters.
Sincerely, poor college student.
Dear son in your bedroom with your first girlfriend,
We can hear you over the TV.
Sincerely, a proud father.
Sincerely, the world.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Dear thunder thighs,
What a coincidence, I have a lightning penis.
Sincerely, wait what?
Of course we ride Osama Bin Laden to school.
Sincerely, Saudi Arabia
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Dear people mad at Arizona,
Please explain what all the fuss is about...
Sincerely, a pretty white girl.
Dear hot girls,
Please become sex offenders and move to my neighborhood.
Sincerely, a boy.
Dear children of mine,
My name is not, "gosh dangit!"
Sincerely, guess who! ♥
Sincerely, jock strap.
Dear drunk driver,
You thought it was funny when you hit my mom... I didn't.
Sincerely, unborn child.