Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
You still have a law in Iowa that allows you to shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
I owe you $20 in quarters.
Sincerely, poor college student.
Dear son in your bedroom with your first girlfriend,
We can hear you over the TV.
Sincerely, a proud father.
Sincerely, the world.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Dear thunder thighs,
What a coincidence, I have a lightning penis.
Sincerely, wait what?
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Of course we ride Osama Bin Laden to school.
Sincerely, Saudi Arabia
Dear people mad at Arizona,
Please explain what all the fuss is about...
Sincerely, a pretty white girl.
Dear hot girls,
Please become sex offenders and move to my neighborhood.
Sincerely, a boy.
Dear children of mine,
My name is not, "gosh dangit!"
Sincerely, guess who! ♥
Sincerely, jock strap.
Dear drunk driver,
You thought it was funny when you hit my mom... I didn't.
Sincerely, unborn child.