Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear great grandma,
No, I do not own any slaves...
Dear men,
Girls (Gurls) - n. A highly sensitive animal that when scared will attempt to yell and scream to defend itself. It always seems to travel in a pack, and has mood swings approximately every 17 seconds.
Dear single girls,
Please stop questioning our sexuality.
Dear college,
Thank you for expanding my taste for cheap Asian noodles.
Dear chain mail,
Apparently I can look forward to death in my sleep, being murdered, raped, poisoned, tortured, and haunted this year.
Dear Sketchers,
No matter how many attractive people you put in them, shape-ups will never be attractive.
Dear Dove chocolate wrapper,
"Someone is thinking of you right now."
Dear Girls who say "suck it",
Either you have severely misjudged your anatomy, or I have.
Dear guy in the "friend zone",
Don't balme us girls, you put yourselves there.
Dear college,
Please reconsider painting the library walls during finals week. Seriously.
Dear students,
I was going to arrange the seating chart strategically so that you could do better in class... but then I realized how cute those two would look together, and how funny it would be to put those two together, and it all fell into place.
Dear mom's best friend,
Please stop making "cute" and "funny" comments on my Facebook posts.
Dear guy with a crush on himself,
I'd be careful, the guy you're in love with is a real douche.
Dear math teacher who told me to read the note I passed out loud,
"Suicide isn't the answer. You are beautiful, creative and talented and you are going to go so far if you give life a chance."
Dear strangers at my door,
Go away! I don't want to be a Jehovah's Witness! Oh wait, are those Girl Scout cookies??
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