Dear reader (because I know you came to laugh not read about people's life problems),
If you're paddling up a waterfall in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes can fit in the doghouse?
Sincerely, Green, because ice cream doesn't wear hats!
People are like t-rex. Scary, but if you hold still, they won't see you.
Sincerely, think about it.
Dear iPhone users,
Did you know that if you type "I could be the next Obama" on iMessage, the word Obama gets censored out?
Sincerely, mindblown iPhone user
Dear People who think I can't be a lesbian because I'm a Christian,
Please It's the sex that's wrong, not the love.
Sincerely, Someone who studies the Bible and likes girls
The reason I friendzoned you in the first place is because I wanted to make us getting together more dramatic; it definitely emphasized the love we have for each other. The reason I kept my feelings from you for the 17 years I've known you since kindergarten, is because I wanted to be 100% sure that you felt the same way about me.
Sincerely, Your Future Husband
Please understand that we all know that it's NOT one time sale...
Sincerely, relaxed steam users.
If you want to stop liking somebody just imagine them pooping.
Sincerely, It works...every time.
I am sure I will find the humor in this prank after I change my pants. Thanks for scaring me to death at 2 a.m.
Sincerely, NOT BLINKING! Call the Doctor and Clara.
Dear social media,
I was raised into seeing complaining as a weakness, nudity as something natural and conversation as something you could learn from.
Sincerely, reconsidering my whole upbringing
Dear Girl who took a bunch of pictures of herself on my phone ,
I'm really not too lazy to delete them
Sincerely, I just like looking at your face every now and then
Dear Metalhead Boyfriend,
Please know that I really do appreciate it when you get me onion rings from Sonic at 4 am. I wish I could wake you up with my voice, but I don't have one, so is extreme cuddling okay?
Sincerely, your mute and pregnant girlfriend.<3
Two Days ago, we had the greatest conversation about 1984. Today when a cop pulled me over and illegally searched my car, you called him "Big Brother." Please don't ever change.
Sincerely, yes, I WILL gladly pay for that ticket!
Why are we called Hawaiians.....we are part of the United States....so we should be called Americans too!
Sincerely, Confused Hawaiians everywhere
Dear girls in my class,
Please stop commenting on my hairy legs and how I need to shave them. We are in the fourth grade
Sincerely, at least I'm warm in the winter