Dear Senior Boys,
Please stop talking to all of us freshman. We do not want to have sex with you.
Sincerely, Freshman who lost her virginity to a senior
Please STOP F*&^%$ UP MY LIFE. IVE SPENT ALL MY TIME ON HERE AND IVE LOST MY JOB AT BUILD A BEAR AND NOW I CAN'T PAY MY RENT.
Sincerely, almost homeless because of you.
how do i overcome porn addiction
Sincerely, ive failed im broken im sick im sorry for my evil choices
Dear Lady in the First Stall,
Please leave and try again later. I know you have to poop, but so do I. No amount of sniffling and shuffling is going to change the fact that I was here first. And I can wait.
Sincerely, Lady in the Last Stall
If you are out there, I was interested. I didint know you even saw me like that. But if I could get a second chance, I promise that I will make it worth your while for all my days I walk upon this earth; in this lifetime and the next. I love you, wherever you are...
Dear Best Guy Friend/Crush,
Please understand that when you have me straddle you in a hot tub in my bikini, I am going to assume you're interested.
Sincerely, maybe you shouldn't be so misleading next time.
Dear Mouthy American doing a year abroad,
Please realise there is a massive difference between an American university and a British one. Yes, the boundary for a first is 70 here. That doesn't mean we have it easier; if you get an 85 chances are you'll get published in a journal. I can't wait for your first piece of work to get marked.
Sincerely, your fed-up classmate
Dear financial advisor,
Please be advised that in the next six months I will have three more children and one less job. Let's talk about life change events!
Sincerely, Betcha didn't see that one coming!
I know you don't care about your hygene, but for the love of god stop with the "why do you need a shower" lecture everytime I go to take a shower.
Sincerely, really grossed out
Please understand I think religion is stupid and a waste of time. But I love you and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you NEVER find out. Even if I have to get baptized and become"born-again".
Sincerely, A Dedicated Atheist
Dear suspicious character down our cul-de-sac,
Bullshit you are using "unsecured Wi-Fi". There is none down our street, and you will get garbage reception anyway. Besides, even if you could, how did you find it? Do you just drive around quiet streets, pulling over and taking a look? You could go to McDonalds or something or use theirs, or stop being a cheapskate and buy your own.
Sincerely, calling the police
Please understand that belief does not necessarily require evidence. In fact it's the other way around.
Dear Boy who walked in to the girls bathroom,
Please give yourself a round of applause for accusing me of slapping you and getting me suspended for 5 days.
Sincerely, The senior girl with a flawless academic record whose reputation you just destroyed.
Please stop commenting on my 'small mouth' and how that might be inconvenient for me later on. Especially when you then feel the need to talk me through gagging around the trays.
Sincerely, I don't need you smiling down at me...