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Dear fellow gays,
Is it weird that I think homophobes are sexy?
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Dear Diary,
Today I
Dear toilet ,
I'm sorry...
Dear dentist,
When you say "come on you're a teenage girl you can open your mouth wider than that" my jaw automatically dropped
Dear air freshener,
"Do not spray directly onto throat "
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son
Dear God,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH US?!
Dear God,
Please look in the mirror.
Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Dear dreams,
I like how I can do anything in them and no one will ever know.
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
Dear dad,
When you told me that the USB port on the laptop is ''female'' because the male always goes into the female... What part of that sounded OK in your head?
Dear Will.I.Am,
Please name your son Sam.
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