How much can't could a white girl can if a white girl couldn't can't even?
Dear hot swimmer at friend's pool party,
Sincerely, happy you're also smart and sweet LOL
Thank you for thinking about me. I'm alive and doing fine.
I'm sorry I squished you for so long, and it took me so long to get a fitting.
Sincerely, wore bras 6 sizes to small for 3 years.
Dear Analog Clock,
Y U SO HARD TO READ?!
Sincerely, Please get me a digital clock mom...
Why does everyone bully me but leave comma, semi-colon, question mark, and exclamation point alone?
Please "If you don't have an iPhone, well, you don't have an iPhone."
Sincerely, Tautology Much?
Dear stores like Victoria's Secret (and even Walmart),
Please sell lingerie for men. Some girls like tight boxers or tight muscle shirts and some guys want to turn on their ladies.
Sincerely, girls can't always be the sexy ones
Dear 40 year old lady on the bus,
Please Sit straight like a normal person and not with your feet crossed while playing candy crush on your ipad
Sincerely, guy next too you with cramp on his left leg because of you
Dear "biggest ego" section of the year book,
Am I allowed to vote for the entire hockey team?
Sincerely, not a puck-bunny
Please stop reducing our favorite video gamer characters to sex objects.
You know carrots giving you night vision is a lie made by Americans in the Second World War so the Germans didn't know they had radars, right?
Dear mean person,
There's a law in Germany regarding beef. It's called: Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
Sincerely, good luck pronouncing that!