Dear Teenage boys,
I see you when you are sleeping, and those are very naughty dreams...
Sincerely, Santa Claus
Please send some clothes to the poor ladies on my dad's computer.
Sincerely, 6-year-old daughter.
Dear purple crayon,
Why must you look EXACTLY like the blue crayon?
Sincerely, my ocean is now purple.
Why aren't you a unicorn?
Sincerely, You are what you eat
Oh, wait... hmm, awkward....
Dear girls of Jersey,
I put the STD in STUD all I need is U!
Sincerely, Mike, the Situation
Dear girl in the stall next to me,
It was very considerate of you to temporarily stop peeing as the announcements came on!
Sincerely, but seriously, how did you do that?
Dear people against abortion,
You realize birth is the leading cause of death...
Sincerely, think about it
Oh my god you're late! What if I'm pregnant? What will my parents say? I'll have to drop out of college! I'll have to tell my boyfriend!! Oh wait....
Please understand that when I ask if there is any leftover cake in the fridge from lunch, I am not telling you to lose weight. I just want to know if I can have some cake.
Sincerely, please let me inside the house, its really cold and my car keys are in there.
I know you've been looking for X for years, in fact X is equal to 10.
Sincerely, the Greeks.
Dear surprised bystander,
Yes. Applesauce fell out of the sky.
Sincerely, physics teacher with a handful of apples and a potato gun
You do realize how many weapons and poisons are in the kitchen, right?
Dear teacher telling me not to look at my phone in class,
I'm looking at my pocket watch.
Sincerely, didn't see that coming did you?
Dear high school teachers,
You say you prepare us for college. College teachers say they prepare us for the "real world." Well, in the real world, we pretty much do the same things we do in pre-school. Sit down and try not to break anything.
Sincerely, just stating the facts...