Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Leash Holder,
Please release the tight hold you have. My ability to sway back to you is defeating and enticing at the same time. Just because our physical connection was like no other, it doesn't mean you can linger forever. Like you said, the timing was wrong even though I wanted it to be right. This is wrong.
Dear Mom,
7 is too young for cosmetic surgery. I would never have chosen this for myself, and it still hurts.
Dear Americans thinking of moving to Europe if Trump gets elected,
Please, by all means, come join us in my country! We love newcommers and we're a loving, happy people, that would make you feel very welc... Oh wait, I'm danish. Never mind.
Dear Moderators,
The year is 1692. It's Summer and the sun is just setting. Let's see how long this takes to get through
Dear Harry Potter,
Turn to page 394.
Dear Baby Seal,
So you just walked right into a club?
Dear judgemental friends,
Please stop calling my girlfriend a whore. Just because I made out with her on our second day of dating, doesn't mean she's a whore.
Dear roommate,
Please stop this obsession with my partner, especially since you clearly don't know him very well. But it was funny to see how proud you were to 'heroically' tell him you know I hooked up with a girl, and then see it crash when he shrugged carelessly.
Dear Americans,
The dollar sign goes before the number. I.e. $50 not 50$
Dear people we meet,
Please respect the boundaries that are in place for the well-being of my child. If I told you she was diabetic, and you could offer her one cookie but not six, you wouldn't bat an eye. So when I ask you to offer a high five instead of picking her up or putting her on your lap, even if she asks, you need to do that.
Dear family,
Thanks, telling me to 'suck it up' when I had a mental breakdown and ended up in the hospital after months of verbal and physical abuse, and constant misgendering and homophobia totally made me better!
Dear fossil,
Please get used to the fact that when you continue to use the phrase "little girl" to refer to ADULT female professionals, I will continue to calmly and bluntly correct you. If this makes you mad enough to hasten out of my home mid-sentence, so be it.
Dear black customer,
Did you seriously call me a racist bitch when I asked you for proof of age when you were buying cigarettes?
Dear Men,
If you consider a woman to be less pure after you touch her, maybe you should take a look at your hands.
Dear man who catcalled me,
Please never do that again. I just had a panic attack for an hour straight thinking that you would come find me and attack me. It's not flattering to be called after.
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