Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear totally perfect guy I only met once,
I have spent hours on facebook typing in every possible spelling of your first, last, and even middle name, found your school on google maps, traced bus routes to that school, and still, nothing. Congratulations, you are totally unstalkable.
Dear Great-Grandma,
Yes he's black. No he's not my slave...
Dear creators of the tampon,
Did you try to make it look like sperm on purpose?
Dear Girls,
Please dont assume that I'm undressing you with my eyes.
Dear world,
BAZINGA!!!
Dear people who stereotype kidnappers always having a white van ,
Sometimes we have black vans....
Mom mom mom mom mama mama mama mama Lois Lois Lois Lois,
Hi
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Dear Science Major Roomate,
No, the Nucleus dissolves into Chromosomes during Prophase. I sometimes read your textbook when I get bored.
Dear Pocket,
You've managed to unlock my iPhone and beat my high score on temple run.
Dear man trying to sell my mom something,
My brothers are screaming and throwing things at each other. My sister is singing Disney songs as pound and off key as possible. My dad is in boxers and I'm running around screaming Harry Potter spells.
Dear Mystery Seeker,
"Go to Wal-Mart, buy one banana, two jars of chocolate sauce, and one roll of duct tape. Be sure to look suspicious."
Dear Wall at Platform 9 in the train station,
3, 2, 1..CHARGE!!
Dear teacher,
Thank you ever so much for having all 28 of us use sharpies to make a chart that lasted the whole class period.
Dear Edward and Jacob,
I have to tell you two setting important... I recently found this out... I'm... A lesbian
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