Please don't ever make me fall in love with a guy then realize he's my cousin, again.
WHY. Do you torture me by making me fall for a guy who might be my 1/2 brother? This is really bothering me.
Sincerely, You're a bit**
Please remember that just because I had a kid at 18 doesn't mean she was an accident
Sincerely, married to an older man who wanted a kid
How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Sincerely, and ask him what period it's from...
I only have those condoms because the packaging was cute and they were free.
Sincerely, Your Still Virgin Daugher
Something is seriously wrong when I feel more comfortable naked than in a bikini
Sincerely, A girl who's grown up with naturism (nudity)
Dear Edward Cullen ,
Please understand I am Peter-Freaking-Pan and no matter what I win....
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Sincerely, man wearing his wife's yoga pants at the grocery store
Dear Sheldon Cooper,
What is the difference between the different fields of Physics? Wait, that was bad idea
Sincerely, here comes the lecture I will never understand
Dear girl on that herbl essences commercial,
How are you having an orgasm while washing your hair with no one else present?
Sincerely, is that even possible?
Dear sunlight ,
I'm so sorry but I've been cheating on you with lamp. Please forgive me!
Sincerely, 3 am
You came in wearing a Chip n' Dale hoodie (albeit the fluffy Disney chipmunks), and paid for your ice cream in all ones.
Sincerely, I'm dying on the inside!
I know you generally have the right of way, but when my light is green and I'm in the middle of the intersection going 35 mph, I can't stop on a dime when you run out in front of me.
Sincerely, Do you HAVE a death wish?
Dear people who ask "How could you be a vegetarian when meat is so good?",
Taco Bell gave me a chicken quesadilla instead of a cheese quesadilla. I figured, "I'll eat it anyway." Turns out, I don't like the taste of chicken.
Sincerely, Potatoes have protein, too