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Dear fellow leaf crunchers ,
Don't go for the frozen ones...
Dear crazy health teacher who says using condoms will give our babies cancer,
The point of birth control is that there will not BE a baby.
Dear world,
When you lick someones elbow without them seeing you, they don't feel it.
Dear gay guys,
We straight guys are sometimes mean to you, but it is only because you can drink those fruity beverages at a bar without judgment.
Dear "popular" people,
You buy contacts, and then buy fake glasses. Then you wear the fake glasses without lenses while wearing your contacts.
Dear Google,
If I shoot myself in the armpit, will I die?
Dear girl who posted a picture on Facebook with the caption "just woke up",
I just wake up with perfect makeup and my hair styled perfectly too!
Dear science teacher,
Are you trying to tell us something?
Dear "my lips are frozen",
You just gave me an excuse to kiss you
Dear over-protective parents,
You really should have thought it through when you said "No boys in the room!"
Dear parents,
Thanks for going out tonight.
Dear smart student in my class,
I'm sorry I keep putting below average students next to you so they can cheat off your paper.
Dear person who took the hall pass,
Do you have ANY idea how bad I have to pee?!
Dear wife,
When I told you I knew you were cheating, I meant on your diet...
Dear high school "Dance Team",
No, seriously, we appreciate you. Our country needs future strippers, too!
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