One day, I will be your Empress......KIDDING! That's way too much work and I'm lazy...Or am I just lying to give you a false sense of security? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! HAHAHAHAHA >:)
Sincerely, Empress(or not) Jaliya
Dear annoyed people,
I like my women like my coffee; fine-ground, with a little creamer, some cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom and vanilla.
Sincerely, that was supposed to be a joke, but it's actually kinda true...
I have a bladder issue where i need potties often. so you should build more. Also, I don't like medication.
Sincerely, me, your VALUED CUSTOMER WHO JUST PISSED ON THE FLOOR
I can make you a non-vegan rather quickly!
Sincerely, Poisonus Snake Bite!
Damn it! I told you we weren't going to lose to those stupid Jigglypuffs! Why would you fall off your broom!?
Dear girl at the bar,
This is the second time I've seen you out dancing and you licked my face both times. I don't know why you do this, but it is quite disturbing. I hope you had fun with that couple that propositioned me for a threesome.
Sincerely, this is why I stay home
Dear People of the World,
The joke, 'Why'd the chicken cross the road?' isn't what you think it is. 'To get to the other side' doesn't refer to the other side of the road.
Sincerely, I just ruined your childhood.
Please, do you really expect me to believe you made my ear bleed on purpose...
Sincerely, I may just be 15 but come on, I'm not THAT stupid.
Dear Any LDS moderators and anyone else who just wants to like it,
I got called to the Chile Antofagasta Mission Woohoo. I thought I would post it on here just for fun, even though it probably wont make it onto the home page
Dear person who calls me "treehugger" when I try to make the world a bit nicer,
Name-calling is for children, you're 13. Find a new insult, because I'm not offended. If that's the worst you can throw at me, you're pathetic. If you can do better, bring it on. I dare you. I'm ready.
Sincerely, 8th grader sick of that language
Although you look amazing and feel amazing sometimes, you make me feel shameful immediately. I am not alone. It is not normal to look at you. You destroy relationships and are killing my marriage. I hate that you're not illegal.
Sincerely, a sad husband and youth director
Please reconsider. Some people can make long distance work. Never know unless we try.
Sincerely, Your Waiting Princess Charming
Dear lady in the 8th row,
Please note that midnight in the movie theatre aisle is not the place to do aerobics
Sincerely, I just wanted to watch my movie
When I named you Baggins I never thought you'd actually live up to the name
Sincerely, you died after I watched the Lord of the Rings movies for the first time
Why is it that when men tell women about women's experiences, it's "mansplaining," but when women tell men about men's experiences, it's "discussing male privilege?"
Sincerely, someone who doesn't like double standards