Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear fellow gays,
Is it weird that I think homophobes are sexy?
Dear paranoid lady down the street,
No, my freckles are not there to keep track of all my visits with Satan.
Dear republicans at my school,
You say that if the president were meant to be black, it would've been called the Black Shack, not the White House. Well did you know Romney is Mexican?
Dear Diary,
Today I
Dear readers,
How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Dear male part in Baby It's Cold Outside,
THE LADY SAID NO!
Dear toilet ,
I'm sorry...
Dear dentist,
When you say "come on you're a teenage girl you can open your mouth wider than that" my jaw automatically dropped
Dear friends,
Please stop texting my girlfriend from my phone...
Dear Nursery Rhymes,
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son
Dear God,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH US?!
Dear nursery rhymer,
Jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, jack fell down and broke his crown....
Dear offended friend,
Please know I am giving my boyfriend a VERY long talk later.
Dear God,
Please look in the mirror.
Dear football players,
You play football? That's cute. We throw 100 pound girls. You throw 2 pound footballs. Oh, and we actually catch ours.
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