Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear mom,
Please know when you gave me "the talk" and offered me $5 for every year i'm a virgin you could've atlease offered 10.
Dear sneeze,
You are an orgasm of the nose.
Dear sticky white stuff on the floor,
Please be glue, please be glue, please be glue!
Dear everyone ,
I'm naked under my clothes!
Dear girls,
I have trekked mile after mile over many moons, crossing mountains and deserts, rafting across two oceans, surviving only on food I could kill with my bare hands and water that I drank as it fell from the sky. Well, actually, I didn't, but it would have been easier than getting out of the friend zone.
Dear police officers,
Your badge is very shiny.
Dear teacher,
I'm 15, female and hormones are raging through my body. You're 26, male and very very very good looking. So please don't come so close to me while trying to explain something. I won't understand a single word. However, I will drool.
Dear Katy Perry,
My daugter is eight, she is not "ready for abduction."
Dear guy who uses the phrase "I have something to tell you" before kissing a girl,
2 seconds of bliss followed by awkward silence.
Dear Apple,
When is the iTampon coming out?
Dear slut,
Santa saw your picture.
Dear world,
I'm in love with someone who isn't human, shines in sunlight, and has glowing, gold eyes.
Dear person,
Let's flip a coin. Heads I win, tails you lose.
Dear oxygen,
Wanna have a threesome?
Dear sister,
I apologize for missing the toilet seat so much. I'm a shotgun, not a sniper.
THIS IS PAGE 1
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © DEARBLANKPLEASEBLANK.COM - CONTACT US - TERMS AND PRIVACY - ABOUT US