Please move Minecraft's engine from the resource sucking Java to the much better DirectX. And while you're at it, could you please optimize the game for multi core CPUs? There is no excuse for the game to use only four cores on a six core CPU and then shove 80% of the load onto only one of those four, while the remaining three get the rest.
Sincerely, longtime Minecraft player
Dear "consider us",
Please understand the military is overfull and cutting back because so many people already did and they are kicking people out but the buttload because of it
Sincerely, someone who did and paid for it
Dear "how did cave women deal with your periods",
Please same way you do
Sincerely, tampons and pads aren't rocket science
Dear mother who just took my phone away,
Oh god no. Please don't read my messages between me and this random cute guy I met in New Zealand.
Sincerely, I need a password...
You'd best be ready for the mother of all prankings when you get here, O brother of mine. You will not believe who I've been chatting with...
Dear Lil' Sebastian,
We miss you in the saddest fashion
Sincerely, You're 5,000 candles in the wind
Please stop it. I am terrified.
Sincerely, Frightened Teen
Dear Star Trek nerds,
If you get married dressed as Klingons, do you have to dress as Klingons again to file for divorce?
Sincerely, or maybe you have to dress as Romulans instead...
Dear fifteen-year-old Australian girl who has been in private schools since prep,
No, Captain Cook was not a monkey. Evolution of humans from apes was a bit earlier than the late 1700s.
Sincerely, the kid who had to sit next to you in humanities class all of last year
Dear George Michael,
Please understand we knew you were gay all along, love you this way, and don't want you to change. We only pretended you were het so our boring boyfriends would dance.
Sincerely, 80s Party Girls
Dear mom shamers,
Didn't your parents ever teach about maturity and if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all? Because I think not and that seems embarrassing.
Sincerely, I am not even a mom and I'm more mature than that
I am not your enemy.
Sincerely, your inner Demon
So my brother isn't hungry for dinner and you yell at me, saying it's my fault. I haven't even seen him all day!
Sincerely, I just can't win
Please don't ask me to tell you me course load for next year "again" when I haven't told it to you at all yet.
Sincerely, Your daughter who only *just* finished signing up for classes