Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear wife,
When I told you I knew you were cheating, I meant on your diet...
Dear high school "Dance Team",
No, seriously, we appreciate you. Our country needs future strippers, too!
Dear most people I meet,
Yeth, I have a lithp. No, I'm not gay.
Dear Dad,
Thank you for sacrificing your manhood.
Dear guys In my gym class,
It's gym, not the Olympics. Was it necessary to throw that dodgeball at 60 mph.
Dear Ken,
Barbie can't bend her legs, have fun with that.
Dear 50 people who have posted on my Facebook wall for my birthday,
I wonder how many of you actually KNEW my birthday?
Dear mommy,
Marco?
Dear Lucky Charms makers,
You're sitting on a gold mine. Why have you not made an "Oops! All Charms!" cereal yet? Even if it's limited edition.
Dear cleaning lady,
Please start putting our sheets on the right beds.
Dear boyfriend,
Yeah, you might wear the pants in the relationship, but I control the zipper.
Dear boys who let their girlfriends pay for dinner,
Yes, we are judging you.
Dear nice funny sweet cute and single guy I just talked to,
Please don't be gay. Please don't be gay. Please don't be gay.
Dear girls on my bus,
Yes, the Titanic was a real boat and really sank...
Dear teenagers,
If you can't bend over in it, then it's not a dress.
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