Dear democratic societies,
Does it not bother you that individuality, which encourages us to pursue our interests above society's, impedes democracy by causing us to inevitably neglect our political awareness?
Sincerely, my hope for humanity
Dear people who support gay marriage,
What are your thoughts on polygamy?
Sincerely, an honestly curious gay-marriage supporter who thinks it wouldn't be so bad
How do you spell candy with only two letters?
Sincerely, c and y.
Please return the beans to the man.
Sincerely, Cow, soon to be soup.
Please realize that although my chewing on ice may be inconvient for you, putting stuff like raw chicken, pork and beef on top of the ice trays is down right dangerous for me.
Sincerely, Iron deficient daughter who doesn't want to get Salmonella or E.Coli
Dear Brides everywhere,
We hate you. The dresses you said we would "just die for" are hideous. They make us feel like slutty cows from how small, short, and revealing they are, we would like you to know that your death will be just as ugly and tacky as these dresses.
Sincerely, Every bridesmaid in the history of weddings
Please extend wabbit season.
Sincerely, Elmer Fudd
Dear women who are complaining about size of breasts and vice-versa,
Please realize that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Sincerely, your urban messiah.
Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop using those bears as your commercial.
Sincerely, supremely annoyed TV viewer.
Dear Girl at the gym,
Please stop screaming every 5 minutes. It is really hard to concentrate on my workout when you scream so loud and often.
Sincerely, I just want to work out in peace with my music, not your screaming
Dear Gilderoy Lockhart,
You are being forced to a hearing on February 26th for writing a book about sparkling vampires. This is very uncalled for and the Ministry of Magic will not stand for it!
Sincerely, The Ministry of Magic
Dear scientists who say the universe was created by a big bang,
When a print shop explodes and the papers settle, is it possible for a dictionary to be created, ordered perfectly?
Sincerely, yeah I didn't think so.
Dear Hot Guys,
Please don't ignore me just because I'm not the same color as you...
Sincerely, brown girl who just wants some love
Dear Stephane Myer,
Please make some more twilight books, the fuel for my fire is running out
Please Know maybe some reassurance would help. Instead of you staying on the phone speaking to your "boyfriend" while your husband and kids are in the next room.
Sincerely, your daughter suffering from depression.