Dear pandas in a blender,
what is black, white, and laughing?
Sincerely, the panda who pushed him.
Dear opportunist that drank the half empty glass of "water",
We never said it was water
Sincerely, you just drank arsenic...
Dear "you realize that a banana is just as fast right?",
Puh-lease, bananas taste nothing like hamburgers
Sincerely, they also don't count as meals
Dear life,
I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction. First, I didn't ask to be here. You put me here. That started us off on a bad foot. Given that rocky start, I'd think you'd strive to be a good host. But no. You fill this place with unpleasant surprises. As if that's not enough, at some point I apparently cease to exist, in a manner that is most likely shocking, painful, and tragic. Can you say rip off?
Sincerely, Please provide a refund
Dear one strand of red hair on my blonde head,
Please don't go away
Sincerely, stay safe my precious!
Dear Earthlings,
Which is better? Back-breakig work or soul-crushing boredom?
Sincerely, curious.
Dear classmates,
Please realize there is a reason I am in drama.
Sincerely, girl who hides her pain every day.
Dear student that gets my textbook next year,
Please be happy and your welcome
Sincerely, the unicorn princess
Dear this generation,
A girl in my World History II class asked "Hitler was the one who bombed the world trade centers, right?"on the day of our final exam.
Sincerely, Take a good look at our future, folks.
Dear JK Rowling,,
Why did you have to announce that Lily was pregnant with her second child when she was killed? More over, why did you have to announce that she talked James into making peace with Severus, and that she wanted to make him the baby's godfather?!!
Sincerely, A (yet again) heartbroken Harry Potter fan
Dear Taylor Swift,
Thank you for the sudden and depressing realization that I am past fifteen and no one has told me they love me.
Sincerely, Should I be worried?
Dear people who think that rich kids have it easy,
My parents may be rich, but I am broke. My life sucks. Since elementary school, I have gone to five schools (not because I am expelled or a bad kid, but because we can't find a good fit). This has left me as the most socially awkward person you will ever meet: I have no close friends; I am unable to talk to girls, and am rarely included in groups. My family hates me: my sisters blame me for everything that goes wrong, my parents yell at me if I don’t get straight A’s, my mom has told me repeatedly that I will amount to nothing in my life, and my father’s business requires that he constantly travels, so he no longer even knows me. The only being I can count on to love me is my old dog, who may not be around much longer. I am pretty sure that I will have to join the military in order to pay for college, because my parents have very little hope for me. I have bouts of severe depression, and have more than once considered suicide.
Sincerely, don't you DARE tell me have rich parents makes life easy
Dear people who judge people that are gay,
In Ancient Rome it was encouraged because a man would fight better if he was trying to impress his lover.
Sincerely, pwned
Dear girl in Starbucks whose hair I liked,
Please make it more obvious you're my teacher when I compliment you. You looked like you were hardly 20.
Sincerely, feeling really awkward now listening to you teach us.
Dear Class,
Yes, This is a ukulele. Yes, I can play it. No, I will not serenade you in the middle of class.
Sincerely, ...and his name is Roger.
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