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Dear boys,
My daughter is available for dating again...
Dear person walking slowly up the stairs,
Please walk faster. I don't like having my face near your butt. It smells funny!
Dear Big Time Rush,
Nice video for "Worldwide." Where'd you get the airport and white outfits idea?
Dear guys,
I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!
Dear health-freak parents,
If you ever try to sneak protein powder into my pancakes again, I'm pouring acid on your vegetable garden.
Dear sister walking into my bedroom uninvited,
I'm trying on my bikini to see whether I need to lose any weight... not taking stripper photos like you think I am.
Dear Domino's pizza is now served with real cheese,
What were you using before...?!?!?!
Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Dear judgmental looks,
I'm at Safeway at 11pm buying a cube of cheese, you think I care what I'm wearing?
Dear kitten that likes to play with my eyelashes,
I'm afraid to blink.
Dear kid that yelled "I'M OUT OF GLITTER!" in the lunchroom,
You just made my day.
Dear blowpops,
I liked you better when i was innocent...
Dear world,
Red hair: redhead, brown hair: brunette, white/yellow hair: blonde, no hair: bald. What do you call someone with black hair?
Dear teachers,
Why do you say that what we're learning applies to us in the real world?
Dear mom,
Is it as awkward for you as it is for me?
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