Dear Steve Jobs,
You are the apple of our 'i'.
Sincerely, the rest of the World.
Dear [insert: current president here],
You suck! You're the worst president ever! The [insert: other party] would do such a better job! It's totally your fault that [insert: foreign power, gas prices, natural disaster, or lack of parking places] is ruining everything!
Dear Rihanna ,
Chains and whips excite us too.
Sincerely, the creators of saw.
Dear upset, overweight woman,
Since we were both sitting in the OBGYN office I thought it was safe to assume...
Sincerely, oops, you were just waiting for a friend...
Dear guy I like,
What you just said made liking you really awkward...
Sincerely, "you remind me of my sister."
Don't worry about magazines telling you you're fat; porn sites tell us we need penis enlargements all the time.
Dear teacher who says "don't get arrested" every Friday when the bell rings,
Sincerely, my bad.
Dear girls that are afraid of blood,
What do you do during your period?
Dear teenage girls,
If you have succeeded in copying our style and make-up. Congratulations!
You're just like Justin Bieber. I always think you're a boy. then I hear you talk, and I change my mind.
Dear person who can't stop sneezing,
BLESS YOU ALREADY!
Sincerely, I'M TIRED OF TELLING YOU!
If I watch the movie backwards, it tells the story of a decorated war hero who goes back home to get a sex change.
Sincerely, next I'm trying trying Lion King!
I bet you feel really stupid for dumping me now.
Dear guy who just called me a lesbian,
Yes I am.
Sincerely, your mom would know...