Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear boys,
The friend zone is easy to escape. Just be happy you're not in the "you're like a brother to me" zone.
Dear people wearing skin-colored clothing,
WHOOOOOAAAAA! .....oh wait.
Dear men,
Please wear suits more often. It is probably the sexiest thing ever.
Dear life,
If you get hit with a dictionary, is it verbal or physical abuse?
Dear Australian female exchange student,
When you asked for a "rubber," I was so happy that you were talking about an eraser.
Dear Harry Potter Fans,
Did you know "muggle" used to be slang for marijuana?
Dear little boy standing up in the middle of church,
When you said "wait for me Jesus I'll be right back! I have to use the potty!" You almost made me pee myself.
Dear people with lip rings,
When you drink a beverage and you're not wearing your ring, can you squirt it out the hole?
Dear cat,
Please stop, please stop..no wait! Don't.. step gjfdkl32423lkkjlrjlklrqw.
Dear Karma,
I bought a Michael Jackson album, he died. I watched the Dark Knight, the Joker died. I bought an iPad, and Steve Jobs died...
Dear TV show "What Not to Wear",
Please start doing makeovers for men.
Dear Mom,
I'm sorry that when you unexpectedly grabbed me, the other night, I karate chopped you in the throat.
Dear omegle,
Please stop flashing me with a penis every 3 seconds.
Dear Microsoft Word,
That's a word, I swear!
Dear Asians,
Please stop getting offended when I don't know what nationality you are.
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