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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Girl flirting with my boyfriend,
Roses are red, violets are blue, he is for me, and not for you, so if by chance you take my place, I'll take my hand and smash your face.
Dear Couples who are 'trying',
Does anyone else realize that is just a polite way of saying you have sex a lot?
Dear boy who just told me that if I was in a detective movie that I would be killed first because "they always kill the pretty girls",
I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.
Dear Myans,
Same time next year?
Dear "One-size-fits-all",
Challenge Accepted.
Dear friend,
Sorry I unfriended you on Facebook. I had 556 friends in total, and you know I'm OCD.
Dear Kate Midleton and Prince William,
If you have a son, does that make him a Half Blood Prince?
Dear monsters inc.,
mike and sully live together, adopted a human, and came out of the closet
Dear crush/best guy friend,,
When The teacher yelled at me for putting on makeup in class, thanks for grabbing my compact and eyeliner and whining "But I only have one eye done!!!"
Dear English guys,
Girls may love your accent, but when I say "Potato", every uterus within a 50 mile radius explodes.
Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Chocolate lovers month? I see what you did there.
Dear Judgmental Idiots,
Just because I'm slim, fashionably dressed, have a slicked-back hairdo, and a sexy accent, does not mean that I'm gay.
Dear best friend who made codewords for the reproductive system in 7th grade,
Now, I can't hear the words Virginia or pencil without giggling. Thanks.
Dear Nasa,
Is a Dwarf still a human? That's what I thought.
Dear Everyone,
If con is the opposite of pro, then what's the opposite of constitution?
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