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Dear Body,
Please tell me why you always complain your exhausted and then waste energy on stupid things we don't need?
Dear Teacher who threaten female student of becoming housewives,
I find it hilarious.
Dear advice givers,
Please stop telling me to imagine everyone in the audience naked when I'm nervous about making a speech. That just makes me horny and is not helpful.
Dear Sincerely,
I don't think you are.
Dear those who are planning on participating in Kick a Ginger Day,
Think about it, do you really wanna piss us off?
Dear Gays,
If you want the same rights that's fine, I have no issue with that. But why do you have to take my name, it's kind of sacred.
Dear Billy Goats Gruff,
You would sell out your own brother just to get across a stupid bridge? Man... that's cold. I don't even want to eat you anymore. I'm... I'm going to go think about stuff...
Dear Reader,
After eating half a pack of gummy vitamins I think I've worked out why they make medicines taste so bad.
Dear Math Textbooks,
Stop trying so hard to be multicultural. Every problem does not have to be about "Mohammed, Jose, and JaQuonn". We promise we wont be offended if you use Bob Joe and Steve instead.
Dear dad of most popular guy in school,
thank you for telling me i looked beautiful at prom
Dear people of this world,
I'm attracted to men. You're attracted to men, too? Great, we have something in common! You are not attracted to men? Great, more men for me!
Dear Homosexuals,
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like straight people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Why did you give everyone from the Battle of Hogwarts and automatic pass? Was it just so you didn't have to write that final year book?
Dear Fairytale Lovers,
Cinderella's shoe came off even though it fitted perfectly because the Prince smeared the steps with pitch.
Dear Heterosexuals,
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
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