SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Married Men,
Because Me not being able to control my blood flow is TOTALLY grounds for you to break your marriage vows, cheat on someone you claim to love and commit an immoral, senseless and disgusting act.
Dear bank account holders,
That awkward moment when you walk into a bank, and you recognize a teller working there but you don't want them to know how much money you have so you walk out the bank and go to another branch.
Dear all,
I once had an ex-convict, who spent 11 years of his 40 year old life in prison, tell me I was disturbed.
Dear goofy,
I suggested we meet at a bistro, and you asked if that was a pub.
Dear Hyde Park of Chicago,
You are the nicest predominantly (and historically) Black neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. I'd like to think that the good quality of the area has little to do with the world-renowned University of Chicago, but something tells me that U of C plays a big part in it.
Dear readers,
Wanna hear a jokey joke? Ok here it goes: Why did MLK always get his wife roses? Because he was non-violet.
Dear Uncircumcised Guys,
I don't want an anteater anywhere near me.
Dear World,
We got the millennials and the 90's kids, what are we called?
Dear self,
You're amazing in bed.
Dear awesome father of mine,
Please teach my brother sex ed like you did with me. You took an extra-small condom and taped it to opposite sides of a room, then hung yourself by your ankles with it, explaining that condoms can never be 'too small'. I hope I can be as awesome as you one day.
Dear porn stars,
I admire you because of how suck-cessful you are.
Dear ex-boyfriend whose now dating my younger sister,
If I find one hair out of place on her head, I will mess you up.
Dear white guys,
I know some of you like to think you're so funny and cool but I've got news for you: you're just a snarky douchebag.
Dear Married Women,
If you cannot control your hormones for the entire month don't expect us to either.
Dear School,
Columbus discovered America, Al Gore created the internet, and Dinosaurs never existed? Really?
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