Dear "How would you like to die?",
I want to fall asleep peacefully, like my grandfather did.
Sincerely, not screaming in terror like his passengers...
Dear Health Teacher,
Thank you for informing us that "Consuming too much alcohol usually causes you to vomit out of your mouth."
Sincerely, really? Thought I vomited out of my butt...
Dear Peter pan,
You call it pixie dust, I call it crack!
Sincerely, either way we both get pretty high
Dear "Wanna come bungy jumping?",
Dude, I came into this world because of broken rubber I'm not going out that way too.
You make me wet
Dear Bible app,
Please tell me how you have an update!!!
Sorry you had to find me naked in the hallway conversing with our hatstand.
Students give you apples for a reason
Sincerely, Snow White
Dear friend whom I don't know very well,
Please forgive me for being awkward around you. You didn't do anything wrong...
Sincerely, ...I just had an erotic dream about you last night
Dear Top Hooker,
Oh, you're a fishing competition!
Sincerely, I totally thought you were about something else!
Dear Nutella I just got on my elbow,
Thanks for the help. Turns out all you need is proper motivation.
Sincerely, Licked it.
Dear person checking behind the curtain for serial killers,
DO YOU MIND?!?
Sincerely, serial killer trying to take a shower
People are a lot like Crayons; all the colours taste the same.
Sincerely, Hannibal Lecter.
Dear anyone whose interested,
If you say "beer can" with a British accent, you're saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
Sincerely, am I the only person who thinks that is freaking amazing?
Dear Students using Wikipedia,
I hope you know that I got on and changed the page about Hilter. It was however amusing that half of you wrote that Hilter was in a secret relationship with one of his Nazi commanders.
Sincerely, your teacher