Dear Cleaning industries,
Make a disinfectant that kills .01% of germs, and then tell the buyer to buy your other disinfectant that kills 99.99% of germs and use them together to kill all of the germs.
Sincerely, I'd buy it...
1 in 5 American's still believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth.
Sincerely, I'm sorry.
Please stop sending books
Sincerely, all people in war over religion
Dear boy who walks with me after math class,
No, I did not know that giraffes die if they throw up.
Sincerely, but you've got serious potential.
Please relize that red hair is a mutation, and that is a form of evolution. Therefore, as long as gingers keep having sex and don't have abortions, they can not become extinct.
Sincerely, humans might all be gingers one day; think about it.
Dear boy who I asked to prom and rejected me,
I am going to become an engineer, make tons of money, and find a guy who loves me for me.
Sincerely, I went alone to prom
Dear writer's block,
I know you have helped me with my school work, but I need my space.
Sincerely, it's not you, it's me.
Please continue making me live with a dangerous older brother, who is a legal adult who you don't HAVE to house, feed, pay the bills to keep him from getting sued, and letting me live my adolescence locked in my bedroom scared for my safety.
Sincerely, your other son
Dear People Who Complain About Spelling and Grammer,
U r lyk the whyn conasewers ov th inglish luggage. Keep it up. Your reactions are hillarious.
Sincerely, A Certain Blundering Troll
Dear overgrown boys who came through the drive through yesterday,
Please remember we sell burgers, not women.
Sincerely, no I will not give you a 360.
Dear Boy Scouts,,
Please stop teaching boys that gay people are aliens.
Sincerely, just let them in
I know you're holding my fiancee hostage, with some help from your co-conspirator, homophobia. Give her back. I want her around by the time it's legal for us to get married.
Sincerely, I love her.
Dear guy who works for the city,
Please stop ringing the doorbell and just leave
Sincerely, trapped downstairs in my underwear
Dear people who glorify being in college and spending weekends with their significant others building pillow forts and watching Disney movies,
While this is indeed fun, perhaps consider that instead of using these activities as an alternative to sex, you could have sex in said pillow fort.
Sincerely, it's not ruining childhood, it's embellishing it. (Also, there's already cushioning on the floors)