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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear idiot kid in my U.S. history class,
No, Iraq is not a state in the US.
Dear annoying kid in my American History class,
I have a dream...
Dear Siri in iPhone 4S,
I asked, "where can I hide a body?" as a joke....
Dear friend who started arguing with her mom as soon as we walked in the door,
Um, okay. I'll just look sit on the couch and look at your guys' family pictures. Er... I'll pretend to be really interested in the floor tile... Uh... Yeah, I'll just sneak out the back door and go home...
Dear furbie stashed in my closet,
"Lets be friends!" really isn't what I wanted to hear at 11:00 pm while home alone.
Dear person who just cursed me out on the highway,
You should have seen your face when you saw I was your girlfriends dad!
Dear four-year-old little brother,
So let me get this straight. You've never seen Dragon Tails, Anastasia, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas or Mulan...?
Dear Boyfriends,
Please realize that the only reason you'll ever get your sweatshirt back is because it has lost its scent. We will expect it back as soon as you have made it smell like you again.
Dear teenage couple making out in the car next to mine,
Forget you. Being single is awesome. Watch me stuff this big piece of bread into my mouth unattractively because I've got no one to impress.
Dear hot guy at the gym,
Please refrain from removing your wedding ring before working out, so I don't make a complete fool of myself because I think you're single.
Dear Teacher who says "Anything that fits on one sheet of paper" for our psychology exam,
My friend (the 4th year Psych major) will be standing on a sheet of paper next to me.
Dear "Disney, please make an Interracial couple!",
I'm sorry, do we not count?
Dear college counselor,
Of course I was joking when I said the only reason I was applying to a school because they have a quidditch team...
Dear super attractive and popular guy,
It made my day when I heard you mumbled, "It's like the White Tree of Gondor" when you saw that tree covered in snow. I thought it too. I also saw you blush when I fist bumped you for it.
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