Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Sincerely, Abercrombie and Fitch
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
Please note that the door you just kicked in was locked for your protection, not mine.
Sincerely, the guy calling an ambulance and the police for you
If you think about it, God was the original hipster. He existed before existence even existed
Sincerely, but everything else was made in china
Dear 'it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball',
Then it's a new game, 'FIND THE EYEBALL!'
Sincerely, Did you not see that one coming?
Dear "Do you surf to school?",
That or we ride our pet dolphins.
Sincerely, the Hawaiians
I've been struggling to get my license since 1999. Which makes me at least 29, and still working in a fast food place. And you're still letting your kids watch me?
Dear people who ask if I don't eat meat because I love animals,
No, it's because I hate plants
Sincerely, vegetarians everywhere
Dear Ceiling Fan,
Was it really necessary to decapitate the Angel?
Sincerely, Our Christmas tree looks like a crime scene
Dear my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard,
And I'm like...
Sincerely, this is private property
Thanks SO much for having your penis out at the zoo today. THAT was fun to explain to the kids I babysit.
Sincerely, "oohhhhh what is that bird doing over there???"
Freshmen are friends, not food.
Sincerely, you were a freshie once too
No no no, guys...I said I hate FIGS!
Dear person who said sports make guys 600% hotter,
Please realize boys in Marching band are really good with their fingers and mouths
Sincerely, Think about that one!