Dear bespectacled dark-haired friend and ginger friend,
Just finished reading Harry Potter series. On a completely unrelated note, I also figured out why we get all those weird stares when we hang out together...
Sincerely, Your bushy-haired, bookworm friend.
I bet you feel really stupid for dumping me now.
Dear guy who just called me a lesbian,
Yes I am.
Sincerely, your mom would know...
I'm not sure we can fix it...
Sincerely, Bob the Builder.
Dear web MD symptom checker,
"Abdomen pain made worse by swallowing chemicals or poison?"
Sincerely, yes, everytime I have a dose of bleach and cyanide.
Could I get an Bin Laden?
Sincerely, two shots and a splash of water.
Dear U.S. government,
My teacher taught me that "pro" and "con" are opposites. So wouldn't the opposite of progress be...?
Sincerely, is that why nothing is getting done?
Dear middle schools that start with "P",
So your schools initials are PMS? And your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Sincerely, that's just awkward...
Dear cute guy i stalked on Facebook,
Oops, forgot I wasn't supposed to know that...
Sincerely, I'm psychic?
You complain that you can't take your shirt off on a hot day like boys can. But please know that you are more than welcome to.
You are us with too much makeup on, and you dare call us the ugly ones!
Sincerely, self aware muffin.
Dear Washington D.C.,
Calm down, it was just an earthquake. These things happen.
Sincerely, Los Angeles.
When I asked if you could check me out I meant my groceries....
Sincerely, thanks for calling me sexy though.
Please know that that "purse" you just stole was actually a diaper bag.
Sincerely, I hope you enjoy that diaper rash ointment.