Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear guys,
I don't need tight clothes or tons of makeup to get you to like me. I will seduce you with my awkwardness.
Dear little sister,
Bras are suppose to support your boobs, not create them.
Dear radio stations all playing commercials at the same time,
You guys definitely coordinate this.
Dear raisin cookies,
They only ate you because they thought you were me.
Dear friend,
You said you were giving away your jeans because they don't fit you... don't be mad because they fit me!
Dear 2000 word essay,
So, if I turn in 2 pictures, it doesn't count?
Dear Americans,
"Gay" means happy or jolly, "queer" means odd or strange, "retarded" means slowed or hindered, "dumb" means unable to speak, and "lame" means incapable of walking.
Dear little sister,
Working as a glassblower does not mean I "...do blowjobs" all day...
Dear Math teacher who insists we wait for the bell,
31 > 1.
Dear vegetarians,
Ever thought of calling yourselves herbivores? Sounds a bit cooler...
Dear British boys in the row in front of me,
WHY ARE YOU NOT MORE TALKATIVE!?
Dear Amazon,
Thank you so much for slashing that price! I could really use the extra cash you're saving me!
Dear boyfriend who pauses Call of Duty to text me back,
Please continue making my friends jealous.
Dear guy with a mullet,
At what point did you look in the mirror and decide that looked good?
Dear "no you hang up",
Okay then *...click...*
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