Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Dear people of the world,
I will always be ahead of you, and in the future.
Dear mom,
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
Dear math,
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Dear cute lifeguards,
I hope you can't tell that I just farted.
Dear Domino's pizza is now served with real cheese,
What were you using before...?!?!?!
Dear mom and dad,
I know you hate when I wear super tight skinny jeans because you think they look slutty. But, if I can't get them off, nobody else can either...
Dear NASA,
Your mom thought I was big enough.
Dear teacher,
When you say "Write in complete sentences", the majority of the class assumes you are saying "write incomplete sentences".
Dear hockey referees ,
Are you pregnant? Because you just missed two periods!
Dear Cowboys vs. Aliens,
How original.
Dear statistics,
6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
Dear chickens,
Why does everything have to taste like you? I should get some credit. What have you ever done but walk across a road? I've jumped over the moon.
Dear students,
Want to hear a chemistry joke?
Dear Snooki,
You remind me of basketball.
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