Dear people who ask me why I'm not disruptive in math like I am in my other classes,
My aunt's the teacher.
Sincerely, anything I do will be reported to my mom
Dear kid who came into my class late,
Wow, I love that your mom brought me a note telling me how your dog ate your homework. Actually, I was super excited and entertained by my first "dog ate my homework" note. Hilarious....but then I heard you telling your friends about how you taught your dog to eat paper....
Sincerely, your teacher who knows you are going places
Dear ex-best friend,
I love finding out about your new relationship with my crush via Facebook. It made my day.
Sincerely, I hope he has a tiny penis
Dear doctor looking in my ear,
I broke my ankle...
Sincerely, confused patient
Dear Nerdy Husband,
You're lucky I love you...
Sincerely, Now the proud owner of a Princess Leia slave costume...
Today, I successfully said "Pika" before sneezing.
Dear High School Bully,
You were right. You're STILL taking my lunch money.
Sincerely, I thought I asked for no mayo
Dear Starbucks Barista,
I'll have a venti mocha cappuccino upside down double blended extra hot two shots of espresso three pumps of vanilla soy milk heavy cream and a tall water.
Sincerely, just kidding! But you should've seen your face
Please invest in the possibility of brain bleach.
Sincerely, just walked in on my parents
Dear Chinese best friend,
I love how you got a tattoo that says "made in China"
Sincerely, you're hilarious
So, if nobody jumps off a cliff, will YOU jump off?
I thought you were texting in class. Instead, I see you playing Pokemon on a Gameboy Advance. Carry on.
Dear person who came up with hugs,
Was the very first hug really creepy?
Sincerely, It must have been like "What are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me."
What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?