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Dear Mum,
Please leave me be with my oversized shirts and skinny jeans and lack of makeup or motivation. And while you're at it, stop picking on me so much for not being a 'normal' girl.
Dear crush,
Please take a hint. You're the most amazing girl I know. We were Eric and Ariel for the school musical, the Beast and Belle the next year, and Romeo and Juliet this year. I've known you since we were 5. Words cannot describe you. Can't you see the way I look at you every day? All the other relationships in the world wouldn't compare to ours.
Dear Society,
Why does my level of success in life depend on whether or not I'm in a relationship?
Dear fate,
Since my two of my closest friends are dating now, can you get all the other couples I'm sure will get together at some point, you know, get together sooner? I'd like to place some bets.
Dear fiance,
Please help me. I have a busted ankle and can't walk yet you still want me to make supper. I have to "remind" you to make something for me too when you make something. And I really appreciate having to get my own ice packs and water and figure out how to carry them with crutches.
Dear Christians,
Please stop sharing "Christian" memes over Facebook. Get your Bible out, read, and use your brain to interpret scripture. Share insights with people face-to-face. Don't trivialize your faith by making a show of it and/or without critically assessing your views. And for God's sake, show love and spiritual discernment in all you do, not pride-filled judgment and condemnation.
Dear IRS Scammers,
Please stop calling me and threatening to take my whole life away
Dear friend,
So you don't drink coffee to avoid addiction? You do realise that only the caffeine is addictive, right? Caffiene addiction is not harmful. And your energy drinks have over double the amount of caffeine as a standard cup of coffee
Dear sister,
I'm glad your new husband shares your love of Egyptology, and I don't mind your having an Ancient Egypt-themed reception, but WHY did you have to have it in a marquee on the coldest, rainiest day of the year so far for it?
Dear Vegans,
Please eat a snickers. You get really forceful and arrogant about your worldviews and personal choices when you're hungry. If you really want to win people over to your side then try being persuasive and convincing, not insulting and hostile.
Dear People who complain about working,
I'll take your unwanted job
Dear world,
What's the difference between transsexual and transgender? One of my friends says there is no difference, but another says there is...
Dear co-workers,
yes, I know you all have children. Yes, I'm also positive I never want any. Do you want to amputate your left foot?
Dear Mom,
Thanks for this beautiful life and forgive me if I dont love you enough.
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