Please let me comfort you right now. The child in your stomach is mine too.
Sincerely, I thought I was going to get to move on with my life until last night
Dear Innocent Friend,
Please stay innocent. It's funny when you can't understand our jokes.
Sincerely, Your Perverted Friends
Please know that I was the one who bought your lunch today at Applebee's.
Sincerely, the Hostess
If you want me to clean my room, fine. Just don't look in my closet later.
Dear (some) black people,
It really isn't the white people's fault; try working hard.
Sincerely, a self made black person
Please stop crying. I promise I love you. I just really don't like physical contact, hugs included.
Sincerely, Didn't mean to upset you
Dear annoying girl in my class,
Please shut up. I don't care that you think that I 'could have killed you'. I accidentally threw a baseball near your ankle. It really wasn't necessary to threaten to throw a shotput at my head.
Sincerely, the girl who apologized.
To the girl complaining about not seeing her boyfriend:,
Please stop. He has a basketball game. You're seeing him later. Stop saying you're depressed because he isn't by your side and be happy.
Sincerely, You're older friend who threw away her high school years running after a guy.
Please get your butt out of my face.
Sincerely, just because you want to lick it doesn't mean I do.
Dear everyone I went to primary school with,
You were all right. Me and my boy best friend didn't stay 'just friends'. We live together now
Sincerely, we became super best friends
Dear women who say men shouldn't be grossed out by periods,
It is pretty gross.
Sincerely, and I've had to deal with them for the last 15 years of my life!
Dear girl at the bar,
Please understand just because I was in the marines does not mean I support war, guns and killing people.
Sincerely, I had a 4 year contract and I was enough of a man to see it through
Please realize that even though I miss your old girlfriend of five years, I will eventually warm up to your new one.
Sincerely, your sister who supports your decisions
Please forgive me for last night
Sincerely, the drinks were free