Dear people who eat a lot of fast food,
I just spent a month with no kitchen, not even a fridge or a microwave. That limited my protein options to about peanut butter.
Sincerely, I get it now!
Dear Self Defence Instructor,
No matter how much peril I am in, I am not going to "grab and rip" someone's groin.
Sincerely, no. Just no.
Dear "big boobs don't count if you're fat",
Big dicks don't count if you are one.
Dear Recruitment Agencies,
Please stop calling at 9:00am. You're dealing with the unemployed. If we don't answer the phone it's not because we didn't get to it in time, we're just enjoying what little benefits we have.
Sincerely, Tired and Frustrated.
You're kidding, right?
Sincerely, I mean... really?
Dear people against discrimination,
Please stop reverse-discrimintion because being white is something to be proud of as well!
Sincerely, white person who can't get into "diverse" schools
Dear Creepy man getting out of his car,
Please stop staring at me like you're going to break into my car and kidnap me.
Sincerely, already locked the doors.
Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Sincerely, Yeah guns being used to commit genocide is great
Dear Broken Heart,
Please be patient. Hell, it wasn't too long ago we realized we're gay. Love isn't a race - let's figure ourself out first.
Sincerely, Reasoning Mind
So you wish I was more like that pretty girl at my school who has it all?
Sincerely, did you know she recently found out she was pregnant and can't go to college anymore?
Dear customers at work,
Please stop calling me a good girl for doing my job
Sincerely, the throughly creeped out ADULT
Why did you have to give me a name that has not one, but three possibilites for wrong spelling?
Sincerely, wish-to-be Linda
Dear John Smith,
Please explain why you're English and everyone on your ship is English but they all have English accents and you sound like you born when a Bald Eagle made a nest in the Stars and Stripes.
Sincerely, America wasn't even a country yet
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Sincerely, It's like you wanted Quirrell to get the stone.