You truly do have a sweet heart.
Please don't fail me now.
Sincerely, man with erectile dysfunction
You humans do realise you are omnivores [can survive on a herbivore diet] and I'M a carnivore, right? WHY ARE YOU JUDGING ME FOR THE THREE LITTLE PIGS?! Isn't one of the most overrated food obsession on the internet BACON? THE THING THAT COMES FROM PIGS? Hypocrital assholes. Of course, this doesn't count the humans who don't eat pigs. You continue hating me, I can understand that.
Sincerely, The Big Bad Wolf
If you have a problem with who I am, take it up with the manufacturers. I operate on factory settings, bitch.
Sincerely, your daughter who tries her best
Dear "I hate all humans equally",
Hey buddy how's sixth grade going?
When your little inquisitive ones ask you where babies come from and you're not ready to talk to them about sex, just tell them God blesses mommies and daddies to have babies when they pray. I know it's a lie but so is santa claus, the tooth fairy and the easter bunny.
Sincerely, I think this is rather creative
If you're reading this, you've been in a coma for almost 20 years. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we're getting through. Please wake up.
Sincerely, The scientists in year 2035
Dear bisexual people,
You are attracted to men and women, yet some of you don't like to be labeled as bisexual. Well, if the shoe fits....
Dear Polar Bears,
You wish you were biracial like me.
If you have a child that looks like your ex, please don't project your negative emotions towards your ex onto the child.
I love you!
Sincerely, Marshawn Lynch
Dear aesthetically challenged people,
When people say you have a face that only a mother can love, it means you're not very attractive looking.
Sincerely, eye candy is sweeter
Dear other Libertarians Constitutionalists Voluntarists AnCaps Minarchists and Anarchists,
We all have different ways we believe we should get to the end, but our end result is the same: limited to no state. Instead of getting distracted by the differences, we need to pull together the similarities in our ideologies to work together to shrink the state since the statists have no issues growing it and putting our country in danger. We're united against a common enemy and we have the ideas to fix the problem; now we just need to pool them and figure out the most practical solution.
I am so proud and happy about the social changes that have occurred in our country over the years. Marriage equality is now legal in most states, the sale of marijuana is increasingly being legalized, women are now the breadwinners of their households, many women now even initiate dates and propose to men, immigration policies are more lax. I couldn't imagine living in the old times when everything was the other way around. I think I would've gone crazy. I would've definitely been a rebel back then.
Sincerely, Today is a better day