The only time I have penis envy is whilst waiting in long bathroom lines.
Sincerely, Happy with my femininity
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sick.
Sincerely, saying 'It's my version of a cappuccino' just makes it worse
Dear white people trying to replace #blacklivesmatter with #alllivesmatter,
All lives obviously do matter, but saying all lives matter when people are trying to identify racism is like going to a breast cancer walk and saying, "You can't have a walk only for breast cancer because all cancers matter!" . Yes, we're going to judge you for it.
Sincerely, black people
Please stop making me pick at my skin.
Sincerely, Crater Face
Dear guy who followed me through the parking lot at a slow roll while blasting misogynistic rap from his overcompensatingly tricked-out pickup truck,
Please stop being such a creeper. You're not fooling anyone when you pass literally dozens of empty spaces.
Sincerely, I hope you are the first known fatality from genital warts.
Dear divorced parents,
Stop blaming each other and realize it's both of you who put me in the middle. This doesn't have to be a war.
Sincerely, even your eighteen year old son cried saying he couldn't take it anymore so cut it out.
Dear Director of the Percy Jackson movie,
Please do not ruin Sea of Monsters. The Lightning Thief was bad enough.
Sincerely, an avid Percy Jackson reader
Why do we have to wear makeup to look "attractive" and you can go around with zits and shiny noses galore? Anyone smell sexism?
Contrary to popular beliefs, we do exist!
Sincerely, conservatives that support gay rights
Dear Women in Society,
Please be happy with life. I know we're fighting for equality but it doesn't give us the right to turn into raving lunatics. Fight fair, fight kindly, and fight without degrading our gender. Men are not the enemy. Some men suck, some men rock. Fighting fire with fire just sets the whole arena ablaze. Stop blaming everyone for your insecurities about yourself and learn the truth: you have to love what you are.
Sincerely, a gal sending out truth bombs.
Dear mom and dad,
When you say I'm not thinking about the consequences, please know that all I think about are consequences.
Dear Rachel's boss,
You can't just go around buying people's babies!
Please forgive me for being a Feminist Killjoy. I was under the impression that a class focusing on sexism, racism, and homophobia would draw people who care about those things.
Sincerely, why would you even sign up for this class?
Dear running helps the cramps go away.,
So does sleep.
Sincerely, let me handle my period my way.