Dear customers at work,
Please stop calling me a good girl for doing my job
Sincerely, the throughly creeped out ADULT
Why did you have to give me a name that has not one, but three possibilites for wrong spelling?
Sincerely, wish-to-be Linda
Dear Caitlyn Jenner,
Please have an amazing, honest, and happy life
Sincerely, a straight, white girl who cares about equality for all
Dear John Smith,
Please explain why you're English and everyone on your ship is English but they all have English accents and you sound like you born when a Bald Eagle made a nest in the Stars and Stripes.
Sincerely, America wasn't even a country yet
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Sincerely, It's like you wanted Quirrell to get the stone.
Dear People Who Don't Mind Hearing A Bad Joke,
Just think that Jack and Rose fell in love with each other on the Titanic. Let that sink in.
Sincerely, BA DUM, TSS
Dear "Virgins are like unicorns!!!!",
Sincerely, are you sure about that one?
Dear Opinionated TA,
Please shut up, I wasn't pressured into getting my nose done. And I'd do it again.
Sincerely, No Longer Pinocchio and I LOVE IT
Dear Skinny girls,
Don't listen to the body-shamers. You're beautiful too.
Sincerely, the "curvy" girls
Dear PB and J,
Wanna have a threesome?
Why can't we just learn to tolerate each other for who we are, and learn to love our differences?
Sincerely, Christian girl proudly dating her Athiest girlfriend
Dear people who think Paula Deen is The Devil,
Please take a good look at yourself, and ask the question "Have I never used a racial epithet or thought myself better than someone else, based solely on my own prejudices?" If the answer is yes, good on you, but you're probably lying. If the answer is no, stop judging her and worry about your own life.
Sincerely, Your Common Sense
Dear muggle friends,
Please stop giving me socks for gifts. Seriously, I'm wearing a rag and a shirt and need decent clothing.
Sincerely, Dobby, the already very free house elf.
When I set an internet connection to "Connect Every Time", that means I want you to connect to it, every time it is available. I don't want to have to dig into the connection list and click a button to make you realize, "oh, so you wanted me to connect to it thi~is time".
Sincerely, your frustrated owner
Dear airport security agent,
Did you SERIOUSLY AND FOR REAL just SWAT my six-months-pregnant belly and demand, "What is this?" I know it doesn't take a degree in rocket science to do your job, but how did you get this far in life without learning where babies come from?
Sincerely, We're both lucky I didn't lay you out for assaulting me