Please don't ask me if i'm sexually active in front of my mom...
Sincerely, "Not really, I just lay there."
Dear Man with his young daughter in the history section of the bookstore,
Though I think it is wonderful that you are spending time with your daughter in an educational setting, please stop telling her that Abraham Lincoln was the first president.
Sincerely, maybe you should read that book too
Dear Professors I asked a recommendation from,
Telling me to write it and you'll just sign it?
Sincerely, Going to make myself sound like the greatest student you have ever had.
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
Sincerely, you jelly?
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
Dear Urban Outfitters Catalogue,
Who on earth goes hiking in the outdoors while wearing only a skirt, thick heels and a crop top?
Sincerely, Ohhh wait, you also have a beanie to protect you from harsh weather..never mind
Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Sincerely, just kidding, but your face was priceless considering I'm 15
Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Sincerely, put it on.
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear Lady at the park,
When you asked me if the baby was my sister, and I said no the look on your face was priceless!
Sincerely, 11 year old baby-sitting her cousin
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Sincerely, 15 admirers in 15 seconds.
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Sincerely, I LOOK LIKE A DRAGON!
My friends think it's weird that I have a frying pan in my car
Sincerely, they just don't understand…