Dear People who say "why doesn't Voldemort use magic to give himself a nose?",
He used magic to make his nose smaller, why would he put it back?
Sincerely, actually read Harry Potter
Please Help with your 25 pound 6 month old
Sincerely, You're not getting laid
Dear Mother who is making me go out for a sport next year,
NOOOO!!!! I don't wanna! I'm fat and lazy and anti-social and I hate running....Oh wait, chocolate you say? and a spa gift card?
Sincerely, Rethinking this "sports" thing
Dear "Be Serious",
Last Time I tried that I was pushed through the veil by my cousin, leaving my troubled godson to fight the dark lord
Sincerely, Harry Potter Fan
What if oxygen was poisonous but it took 75-100 years to kill us?
Sincerely, Have fun with that
Trying to be a Jedi, I am. Appreciate it if you'd stop interrupting me, I would.
Sincerely, The Next Female Jedi.
Dear everyone over the age of 17,
Please stop dating middle schoolers. If her age is on the clock, she is too young for you!
Sincerely, its called statutory rape.
Dear male working at Victoria secret,
Don't look at me when I give you a pair of boy shorts at the check out counter!
Sincerely, it's called period underwear...
Dear People in Call Centers,
Please don't piss me off. It won't end well for you....
Sincerely, a seriously hormonal Ginger.
I didn't give you a chance before... I gave other guys my time... I cried so many tears... Finally I opened my heart to you... And you embraced me with all my mistakes.
Sincerely, hoping we last forever. <3
You won't be missed
You never see us picking up your poop! who's the pet again?
Sincerely, Dogs of the world
Dear people who own iproducts,
Never under appreciate a working home button
Sincerely, I can't leave any app without turning off my iPod.
Please consider dating the boy who threatened to castrate his friend unless he treats you well BEFORE you consider dating that friend!
Sincerely, Mom who loves you