Dear Rock paper scissors,
Rock is no longer afraid of paper. Please revise.
Sincerely, avid RPS player
Dear Enlightened Friend,
Please don't judge other so harshly just because you've been enlightened by your religion. There are people out there that love you still even though they have different points of view. Just because your impact on someone isn't obvious, doesn't mean it isn't real.
Sincerely, A loving friend who misses their extended family.
Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!
Please stop making me re-write my older brother's college essays for him, and then yell at me when he gets bad grades on anything. I don't care if he needs a good grade, I have my own homework to do. He's five years older than me, he can figure it out.
Sincerely, I'm only 15. Seriously.
Dear best friends who thought they were being funny,
Please remember that just because im "innocent" doesn't mean i don't know what a vibrator is
Sincerely, the horrified friend trying to figure out how to take your gift home
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Sincerely, a gal from the Middle Ages.
Dear Barack Obama,
Why haven't you been impeached yet?
Sincerely, A true American tired of your tyranny.
Dear future husband,
Please Thank you for continually supporting and loving me as you discover my faults. Thank you for never being angry and just understanding my needs. No one has ever made me feel beautiful or worthwhile before. I love you.
Sincerely, your future wife
Dear "friend" ,
You dated 6 guys in the last 2 years. You're a freshman. And you aren't allowed to date.
Sincerely, stop acting like you're innocent
Dear guy I'm trying not to like,
Please stop being cute. Actually, just avoid me completely.
Sincerely, girl who cannot help picturing us together when you sing so off key
Dear Starbucks employee,
Please tell me why abbreviation is such a long word
Sincerely, Oh, so you aren't an English major? Oops
Please move the : and the ; buttons farther apart.
Sincerely, I just made that text VERY awkward.
Dear Kristen Stewart,
Look, I know we made a deal and all, but for once I'M starting to regret having you sign the contract. It was a fair transaction, you trading me all your facial expressions for an acting career, but the world can't take much more of this. I want you to consider giving me your first born child in exchange for getting the facial expressions back.
Sincerely, the devil
All I wanted was a loaf of bread,
Sincerely, Prisoner 24601