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Dear girls,
And you thought your time of month was bad...
Dear people who call me a Grammar Nazi,
I prefer "Grammar Gestapo" because of the alliteration.
Dear room-mate,
If you're at the other end of the apartment and can hear the sound of me brushing my teeth, you should be aware that I can hear you having sex.
Dear male co-workers with whom we share a bathroom,
Please note: Seat up = OK. Toilet not flushed = Not OK. Seat up and toilet not flushed = REALLY not OK.
Dear period,
I spent years dreading your arrival, but now I am forever thankful when you show up.
Dear boy on the beach,
Please put your eyes back in your head where they belong
Dear Britney Spears,
Dear Britney Spears.
Dear poets,
Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.
Dear mom,
Buying low-fat vanilla ice cream will not keep me from eating it.
Dear people staring,
I am 15. The kid I am with is 8. Of course she's not my daughter. She's my sister. I was not pregnant at 7.
Dear college scholarships,
Gingers are minorities.
Dear French teacher,
No, conjugating that feminine verb in a masculine form is not incorrect.
Dear chemistry teacher,
We weren't cheating! We were covalently bonding our answers...
Dear "100 things to do before you die" creator,
Why didn't you include, "yell for help!"?
Dear teenage Facebook users,
Did you think that you were uploading your photos to a Playboy audition?
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