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Dear Gay Rights Activists,
Please don't get pissed and lecture people who say "faggot" and then turn around and call black people "niggers."
Dear fedora haters,
Please just stop this irrational hatred, and stop stereotyping young men who wear them as virgins (and implying that virginity is somehow terrible). Why are you so mortally offended by their hat choice? They wear it because they like it, the same reason anybody wears anything. And no, I don't care that it's "actually a trilby" as if your self-righteous pretension somehow makes your bullying okay.
Dear boy,
When you said that you thought we could kill Prince Joffrey together, I think I fell in love with you.
Dear pokemon fans,
Don't worry I didn't Pikachu while you Togepi
Dear People of the world,
If you are waiting for a sign, this is it.
Dear people who make Hufflepuff jokes,
Please know that we don't FIND your jokes very funny.
Dear Cinderella,
Please understand that employing rats to make clothing is frowned upon in all kingdoms.
Dear nicest boy I know,
You're right. You do deserve to get the girl. Unfortunately, appearances do matter and she can't get over your smell, size, and acne.
Dear classmates,
Thank you for "shipping" me and my crush!
Dear "Best Friend",
Really? I can't have my best friend over because he is your ex? Oh and now you're ignoring both of us. Well that's fantastic. Really. I wonder how you're going to react when I told you he gave me a hug because of my great grandmother dying. Oh wait I didn't tell you she's dying because you never listen anymore.
Dear world,
Why do we cry about animals getting abused, and not HUMAN BABIES BEING MURDERED!?!?!?!
Dear person who said that America has the highest obesity rate in the world,
Please stop saying stuff like that and not judge us by our country! You don't hear me making jokes about your country!
Oi! Teachers!,
LEAVE US KIDS ALONE!
Dear scientists,
Please hurry up with making uterus transplants safe. I'd love to give up mine, especially to make an infertile woman happy.
Dear best friend,
No, it's not ok to go see a movie with my boyfriend when I'm gone. Thanks for asking though
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