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Dear people who glorify being in college and spending weekends with their significant others building pillow forts and watching Disney movies,
While this is indeed fun, perhaps consider that instead of using these activities as an alternative to sex, you could have sex in said pillow fort.
Dear men,
You have nipples too, why can I show mine.
Dear girls who say they shouldn't have to cover their shoulders in school because it distracts boys,
Please realize that, like you, we also have a hormone called testosterone which does makes you destracting to us and it was proven if guys are around a girl they find attractive our IQ drops, also schools changed testing grammar and room decor and color to make girls test better.
Dear Nemo ,
Why would you touch the butt?
Dear Ash,
You shouldn't use that here
Dear Mom,
The fact that you just said you would let me try my first shot on my 21st birthday.....
Dear Ladies,
Please remember going to a gay bar is fine, but slapping and swearing at gay guys who don't want to sleep with you makes you an arse
Dear World,
If I opened a bakery I would call it Dat Cookie Dough and just chuckle about it forever.
Dear roommate,
I don't think you fully understand how compromise works. You've had full control over leaving the window open or closed in the middle of January. I have no controll when you are in the room (you have the right to be comfortable), but I shouldn't have to freeze to the point of having muscle cramps when you're not around. That's why, "I'll leave it closed more often if you leave it open more often" makes no sense.
Dear Google,
Please create Google Global: an app that pairs two users across the world and allows each to chat in their respective tongue. Each time a user opens the application, there will be a new user from another country on the other end.
Dear "Be Serious",
Last Time I tried that I was pushed through the veil by my cousin, leaving my troubled godson to fight the dark lord
Dear women who complain that men are "oppressing" you by sitting with their legs open on public transportation,
They are trying not to squish their genitalia because it hurts and will close/move their legs without complaint if you ask them too. Women are just as bad when they put their purses/bags on the seat next to them and usually get an attitude when you ask them to move them, but you don't see men complaining about women "oppressing" them by taking up too much room.
Dear Everyone,
There's nothing wrong with having sex!! There's nothing wrong with not having sex!! Just chill out and eat some nachos and do whatever you want, man,
Dear DBPB,
What comes with the new Divorced Barbie??
Dear everyone over the age of 17,
Please stop dating middle schoolers. If her age is on the clock, she is too young for you!
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