Dear clueless mom who just told me my scarf looks gay,
Thanks! I found it when I was in the closet!
Sincerely, proud homosexual son.
Dear awesome guy friend,
Please keep going to Zumba classes with me. It makes you that much cooler.
Sincerely, YEAH!! Shake what ya mamma gave ya!!
Sorry you got put in the middle of this.
Sincerely, men and women.
Why was it necessary to go to such lengths to make Harry compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament? There much have been easier ways to get him to touch a horcrux.
Sincerely, "Hey Harry, will you hold this for me?"
Dear kids in class who ask the teacher "when are we ever going to need to know this",
On the test next week.
Sincerely, now shut up and pay attention.
Dear toothpaste commercials,
How do you do that?!
Sincerely, I look like I have rabies.
Dear Willow Smith,
When I whip my hair back and forth, I get whiplash.
Sincerely, doesn't it hurt?
Just because I got Bs on my report card does not mean you can nickname me "stereotype breaker!"
Sincerely, your "B-sian" friend.
Why are all the princesses only 16 in the movies and marry after only a few days of knowing the prince?
Sincerely, this is why we have 16 And Pregnant.
It's not men's fault they look at your boobs. More massive objects bend more light.
Dear 7th grader who hit on me during 5th period lunch,
I told you I was a teacher. Now do you believe me?
Sincerely, welcome to 6th period English.
Dear sex scenes in movies,
Wow that spot on the floor is very interestng!
Why did the hipster burn his lip while eating pizza?
Sincerely, he ate it before it was cool.
Thanks for showing up on that first Thanksgiving. We needed a break.