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Dear friends bragging how far they have gone ,
I walked all the way to the super market yesterday
Dear girl trying to grind with me,
... I'm gay
Dear Testicles,
Thank you for not bleeding every month. You're the best!
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Dear guy who just woke up,
Surprise!
Dear Humans,
Please Sorry about all your socks. I'm just trying to free house elves.
Dear girl sitting next to me on the bus,
Thank you for sneezing right in my face.
Dear Mc Donald's ,
Thank you for not serving hot dogs, I don't think I could order a super-sized Mc wiener with a straight face.
Dear Bruno Mars,
Okay, it was cute the first few times you sang Just The Way You Are, but this is getting ridiculous. Will you just answer my question? Does this dress make me look fat?
Dear dad,
Please never refer to my flip flops as "thongs" again.
Dear girl in my English class,
"I always thought the right to bare arms was the right to wear t-shirts
Dear parents,
Please stop using the saying "Till the cows come home"
Dear Woman,
It's not small, it's fun size...
Dear Men,
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
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