Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear cats,
Curiosity never killed me. Let me show you how it's done...
Dear boys,
Our balls are bigger than yours!
Dear 'when life gives you lemons',
Squeeze them in the wounds of your enemies.
Dear girls making kissy faces,
You're just jealous.
Dear "popular kid",
If you're "cooler" than me, doesn't that make me "hotter" than you?
Dear inventor of tampons ,
Please tell me you're not a guy.
Dear Santa,
Please bring me coal for Christmas.
Dear teenagers,
Please stop saying "OMG!" all the time. I hate prank calls.
Dear ignorant person that told me that clarinets are gay,
Elton John is gay, a clarinet is a clarinet.
Dear Americans,
Isn't it amazing what we can do when the PlayStation network is down?
Dear mom,
Thanks for yelling at me throughout my whole childhood, it makes my former marine corps lacrosse coach look like he was talking to me sweetly.
Dear parents,
"Please" and "thank you" are not the magic words.
Dear children of today,
You can be anything you want to be!
Dear Twilight,
Please stop pretending Edward vs. Jacob is about choosing between two guys. One is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. It's more like necrophilia vs. bestiality.
Dear Virgin Islands,
Yeah, that was your name before I got there. Now you're called The Islands.
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