Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear homophobic moron currently in considerable amounts of pain,
Next time don't be so quick to assume that gay means weak.
Dear parents who burst into my room,
We weren't screaming because we were having sex...
Dear Lady Gaga,
My dresses are still way cooler than yours.
Dear Ronald McDonald,
It's really sad that kids recognize you more easily than our president, or even a picture of Jesus.
Dear newborn babies,
Welcome to our society. When you grow up, you will be judged on what you wear, which music you listen to, what you look like, how you act, who you hang around with, and on practically every other personal trait and imperfection about you, and you'll be made fun of for being who you are. Enjoy your stay.
Dear friend,
You say I'm dirty-minded, but somehow knew exactly what I meant?
Dear little brother who just told me he'll be my prom date after no one asked me,
Don't ever grow up. Ever.
Dear parents,
Please be nice to me. After all, I do choose your nursing home.
Dear Mom,
Please realize LOL doesn't mean Lots of Love.
Dear black kid calling me "vanilla",
Vanilla beans are black...
Dear girls who wear make up significantly darker than their actual skin color,
You're not fooling anyone.
Dear Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle,
It's kinda hard to advertise your clothes when your models aren't wearing any...
Dear cocky boyfriend,
Please realize that you are not hurting me because you are "sooo biggg," but more because you are hitting all the wrong spots.
Dear fat girls,
Please stop calling skinny girls "fake". You are what you eat. I eat organic, you eat processed crap. I think we all know which one is fake...
Dear "I'm never going to use this in real life",
That awkward moment when a someone holds a gun to your head and demands you recite the quadratic formula...
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