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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear customers at work,
Please stop calling me a good girl for doing my job
Dear parents,
Why did you have to give me a name that has not one, but three possibilites for wrong spelling?
Dear Caitlyn Jenner,
Please have an amazing, honest, and happy life
Dear John Smith,
Please explain why you're English and everyone on your ship is English but they all have English accents and you sound like you born when a Bald Eagle made a nest in the Stars and Stripes.
Dear Dumbledore,
Please tell me why you used a broom instead of literally any other form of magical transport to respond to that 'urgent' owl from the Ministry.
Dear People Who Don't Mind Hearing A Bad Joke,
Just think that Jack and Rose fell in love with each other on the Titanic. Let that sink in.
Dear "Virgins are like unicorns!!!!",
They're horny?...
Dear Opinionated TA,
Please shut up, I wasn't pressured into getting my nose done. And I'd do it again.
Dear Skinny girls,
Don't listen to the body-shamers. You're beautiful too.
Dear PB and J,
Wanna have a threesome?
Dear World,
Why can't we just learn to tolerate each other for who we are, and learn to love our differences?
Dear people who think Paula Deen is The Devil,
Please take a good look at yourself, and ask the question "Have I never used a racial epithet or thought myself better than someone else, based solely on my own prejudices?" If the answer is yes, good on you, but you're probably lying. If the answer is no, stop judging her and worry about your own life.
Dear muggle friends,
Please stop giving me socks for gifts. Seriously, I'm wearing a rag and a shirt and need decent clothing.
Dear laptop,
When I set an internet connection to "Connect Every Time", that means I want you to connect to it, every time it is available. I don't want to have to dig into the connection list and click a button to make you realize, "oh, so you wanted me to connect to it thi~is time".
Dear airport security agent,
Did you SERIOUSLY AND FOR REAL just SWAT my six-months-pregnant belly and demand, "What is this?" I know it doesn't take a degree in rocket science to do your job, but how did you get this far in life without learning where babies come from?
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