Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
Dear world,
What's the difference between transsexual and transgender? One of my friends says there is no difference, but another says there is...
Dear best friend's parents,
Please don't call me asking for our boss's number and tell me it's because she's really sick and in the hospital then NOT TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE OR ANSWER ANY OF MY TEXTS OR CALLS! What hospital? What happened?
Dear black customer,
You dropped and cracked a jar of jam at the counter and wanted to put it back. I politely told you that you had to buy it because you damaged it. You called me racist and said I was trying to force sub-par goods on black people. Don't you know that if *any* customer damages something, they have to buy it? You're one of the rudest, most stupid customers I've ever met.
Dear government providing benefits,
I am thankful for the unemployment benefit, and I guarantee you I'm not intending to scam you or just live on the benefit forever. I do want to be employed and independent. But I spent 5 years doing shitty (literally, even cleaning public toilets) jobs while studying, giving me the motivation to never do these jobs again. And when I cannot find a job in my field, I want to work jobs that can give me experience or promotions. I WILL NOT take a cleaning job, just because its the first job on offer. In fact, that will be my last resort.
Dear fellow restaurant diner,
If you're going to accuse me of stealing your friend's coat in front of the entire restaurant, the least you could do is apologise when you realise you're wrong
Dear 'Husband',
Please realize that when I said 'I do', I didn't mean that I will be washing your underwear, doing all the housework for you and letting you abuse me, asking me to leave if I don't follow your orders. I didn't say I would be fulfilling your every sexual need anytime you want it and will be ok with you going to other women if you're not satisfied. So, I'm leaving. You can go hire a maid to do that for you. Too bad you don't like spending money from your pocket.
Dear teacher out on maternity leave,
Please don't come back.
Dear Heart,
Please do no allow these emotions to get to you.
Dear guy who ruined my life,
Please know that now every time I look at myself, I want to cry because I hate it. I get flashbacks and think about what happened all the time. You made me believe you, and the worst part is, you made everyone else believe it was my fault
Dear Vegans,
Please eat a snickers. You get really forceful and arrogant about your worldviews and personal choices when you're hungry. If you really want to win people over to your side then try being persuasive and convincing, not insulting and hostile.
Dear gay classmates,
Yes, I'm to~otally asking you to stop making out because I'm an 'evil' Christian who hates all gays, and it is not at all because you've been making out directly in front of my locker every day for the last week, preventing me from getting my books for class and staring at me tauntingly when I try to get passed you.
Dear America,
The real problem with this election is that one of them is going to win.
Dear America,
Please realize that I, a gay Muslim, exist. Stop pretending like those are mutually exclusive identities, and allow us to grieve in peace.
Dear America,
Please vote for me. I AM the lesser evil this time!
Dear couple at the store,
Please don't judge me for running into things while on my phone. My best friend is in Germany and the time zones only let us talk now.