Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
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THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear doctor,
Please don't ask me if i'm sexually active in front of my mom...
Dear Man with his young daughter in the history section of the bookstore,
Though I think it is wonderful that you are spending time with your daughter in an educational setting, please stop telling her that Abraham Lincoln was the first president.
Dear Professors I asked a recommendation from,
Telling me to write it and you'll just sign it?
Dear guy shopping with your girlfriend,
I saw that look you gave my girlfriend when she started talking about her bedazzled nerf gun.
Dear Emma Watson,
I understand why you quit school. I would get angry if every time I answered a question someone yelled, "10 points for Griffindoor!"
Dear God,
Thanks for making me sit next to a hot boy on the day the pastor gives us a sex talk.
Dear Urban Outfitters Catalogue,
Who on earth goes hiking in the outdoors while wearing only a skirt, thick heels and a crop top?
Dear cashier looking judgmental when I buy a tub of ice-cream and a pack of oreos,
"I'm eating for two...".
Dear men who say that condoms are uncomfortable,
So is childbirth.
Dear world,
What did sodium say when chloride attacked it?
Dear Lady at the park,
When you asked me if the baby was my sister, and I said no the look on your face was priceless!
Dear British guys looking for advice on how to get girls,
1: Go to an American classroom. 2: Say some stereotypical British things.
Dear winter,
Thank you for making my breath visible.
Dear Tangled,,
My friends think it's weird that I have a frying pan in my car
Dear Claire's employee,
Please try not to yell "OMG THAT ISN'T GOOD AT ALL!!!" while jabbing a needle through my ear.
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