Dear guy who sold me his old car,
Please let me know if you want your blood soaked rag back
Sincerely, should I be concerned?
Dear writer's block,
I know you have helped me with my school work, but I need my space.
Sincerely, it's not you, it's me.
Dear daywalkers and the rest of the human race,
Please note that I have recently acquired a soul. If you find that yours is missing, do not panic. I have done you a favor as you will now survive the impending zombie apocalypse unlike the mortals. You're very welcome.
Sincerely, a ginger.
Dear fashion designers,
Please make colored jeans that aren't skinny jeans.
Sincerely, size 14 with a sense of style.
I am so looking forward to the excuse to wear tiny shorts and cute tank tops with micro mini bikinis
Sincerely, I love my body. Is there a problem?
Why WOULDN'T I touch the butt? Butts are great!
Don't say your a vegetarian because you don't like killing. Plants are alive too.
Sincerely, I'll respect you when you find a different reason to not eat meat.
Dear person judging me for loving Bob Dylan,
His music is poetry, speaks to my soul and is my inspiration. I'm sorry that you think he's crap.
Sincerely, the person who isn't judging you for loving One Direction and Katy Perry.
Unhand my mother, you bitch.
Sincerely, not about to lose her yet.
Dear lazy public schooled friends,
Just because I can never hang out, doesn't mean I "have no life." I can't hang out because I spend 7 hours a day doing school work, volunteer multiple times a week, go to the gym every other day, and am on a national volleyball team that has a lot of practices and travels a lot.
Sincerely, a hard working home-schooler who understands there's more to life than partying.
Dear obese people,
The concepts of "thin privilege" and "fatphobia" are ridiculous. Discrimination based on weight is different from discrimination based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, etc. Weight is something you can actually control, it's not an inherent part of you. And it's perfectly reasonable to judge people based on their lifestyle choices.
Sincerely, an overweight person who isn't a victim
Dear elevator in my apartment building,
Please stop doing that thing where you pause between floors (and maybe start to go back down a little if you were ascending before you paused) as if you're deciding whether or not to fall and kill me
Sincerely, terrified resident
Dear American government,
Please realize that although my parents make decent money, I am paying for college on my own. $1,000 in financial aid a semester isn't enough to help me with a $16,000 tuition.
Sincerely, a broke college student trying to make something of herself.
Please understand that the reason I don't tell you my problems is that I don't want to burden your happy with my sad.
Sincerely, I'm strong enough to suffer in silence
Please stop judging me for having a housekeeper. My parents work long hours and can afford it, so why shouldn't they pay someone to clean for them? They're able to relax, and the housekeeper gets a well-paying job.
Sincerely, everybody wins