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Dear guy who lives down the hall,
Please next time you see me using a feature on my phone you don't like, keep it to yourself. Chewing me out for having a phone you deem "inferior" and then telling me to never use that feature in front of you again was very uncalled for.
Dear Sink Fairy,
Please be real. Wave your magic wand over those who put the dishes in the sink in the first place. Then you wouldn't have to visit so often.
Dear AP World teacher,
Please stop complimenting me on my study schedule, and how you wish more students were as "diligent" as me. When you asked how my grades had gotten so high so quickly after them being so low, and I told you how I had started scheduling time for panic attacks while studying. You should not take this as a good thing
Dear pirates who kidnapped me for ransom,
Please know I enjoyed my time with you, am glad you took my advice of more than doubling my ransom (what you demanded hardly matched my worth), respect you for holding up your bargain upon being paid the aforementioned ransom, and hope there are no hard feelings with me honoring my promise to return to execute each and every one of you
Dear Technology,
You mean to tell me we've come up with nuclear bombs yet we can't find a way to get rid of the painfully awkward lag on news channels when going to someone "on the scene"?
Dear people who think all kids born '98+ are lost causes,
Actually, some of us don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, babysat for our phones, read and write every day, and know how to spell and use the parts of speech correctly. I know being bit in 1999 doesn't make me a 90s kid, but I still function properly.
Dear 6 year old brother,,
Please never lose your innocence. The way you look at the world as if it is a beautiful place without fault or malevolence never fails to make me smile.
Dear judgmental virgin girls in my school ,
Please, we've been together for years, talk regularly about marriage and kids, and I wear the promise ring he gave me
Dear Dad,
Thank you for singing Mom the song that you sang her on your wedding day 17 years ago. That made both of our days.
Dear world,
Please learn that there is a BIG difference between "retarded" and "stupid" and when this difference is ignored, people's feelings get hurt.
Dear Ladies sitting next to me at Panera,
Please don't talk about me. I know I don't look the best, but I have my reasons.
Dear people who call me a hipster,
Please stop calling me one, I wear beanies because I am a little bitch when it comes to the cold.
Dear smokers at the bus stop,
Thank you for putting them out
Dear Obama haters who think he's both a Marxist and a Muslim,
Marxism teaches that religion is the opiate of the people. Islam is a religion. Marxism and Islam conflict.
Dear homework,,
I always win
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