Dear world,
Please stop ending.
Sincerely, Oklahoma tornados, Newtown, Boston, Sandy, and more.
Dear friends who are "too cool" to go to prom,
Have fun sitting at home by yourselves while I'm having a great time with our other friends.
Sincerely, It's a once in a life time experience you'll regret missing
Dear World,
When I die, please cremate me.
Sincerely, Someone who has been watching way too many zombie and vampire movies.
Dear Mike Jeffries CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
I am disgusted by your hurtful comments that say your store will only sell to a certain type of person, aka the "popular, skinny" type, which is the only type of beauty in your head. I may physically be the type of person you want shopping at your stores, but please know that I will never shop there again, and my friends are doing the same.
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear men,
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
Sincerely, don't get so cocky next time.
Dear girl in my class who said Jesus led the Jews out of Egypt,
That was Moses, honey.
Sincerely, I want to hit you.
Dear hair,
Thank you for flipping perfectly when I looked up to talk to my crush.
Sincerely, awkward quiet girl who left the class clown speechless
Dear Period,
Where'd you go...?
Sincerely, still a virgin
Dear anyone who feels fat just because they're not a size 0,
The smallest size available in most NZ stores is a six, which is a US size 4.
Sincerely, You're beautiful, size 2, or 22.
Dear Psych major,
Please stop trying to tell me what I feel. I think the gut wrenching pain I'm feeling does affect my mood, thank you very much.
Sincerely, a woman on her period.
Dear stereotypical Americans,
You do know that Indians eat more than just curry right?
Sincerely, Indian who hasn't had curry in two years
Dear Morgan Freeman,
I wish I was you. I would do commentary for everything in my life.
Sincerely, I could even THINK in that epic commentary voice
Dear boys who criticize girls for 'friendzoning',
Girls are not required to date you. We do not owe you anything. Just because you treated us like human beings does not give you the right to guilt us into going on a date with you. Just because you do not approve of who some of us date does not give you the right to say girls only date jerks. We don't owe you anything because everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, and treating someone the way they deserve to be treated does not make you special or unique. It makes you better than some, yes, but you are not the only person out there who deserves her.
Sincerely, I'm sorry my friendship was a crappy consolation prize.
Dear Future Me,
Please never fight in front of your kids. You already know what it does to them.
Sincerely, daughter of almost divorced parents
Dear eight year old little brother,
I am incredibly proud of you for saving your friends life by dragging her above the water and out of the lazy river while the life guards that were getting paid to be guarding lives were too busy eating, talking, and texting to pay attention to the fifteen young kids in the lazy river when a parent just so happened to not be right there.
Sincerely, your forever proud big sister
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