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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Mr. Pibb,
What, couldn't handle med school?
Dear mom,
When you ask what my "high" for the day is, don't expect a serious answer
Dear girls in my art class,
When you ask each other how many boys you've slept with and you say "seven" there should not be an "only" in front of it.
Dear friends who are "too cool" to go to prom,
Have fun sitting at home by yourselves while I'm having a great time with our other friends.
Dear World,
When I die, please cremate me.
Dear Mike Jeffries CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch,
I am disgusted by your hurtful comments that say your store will only sell to a certain type of person, aka the "popular, skinny" type, which is the only type of beauty in your head. I may physically be the type of person you want shopping at your stores, but please know that I will never shop there again, and my friends are doing the same.
Dear fellow actors in my high school drama department,
Thank you so much for this award. It means a lot to me.
Dear men,
Please. Trojan extra-large condoms are made to fit most regular sized men to boost their confidence and ensure further purchased.
Dear extremely passive English teacher,
Please slap some sense into these hooligans in my class or else I will.
Dear boxed mac and cheese,
Why do you taste better with fun shaped noodles than the traditional elbow?
Dear friend who went to The Hobbit with a date,
Do you even know what the movie was about?
Dear world,
Please stop ending.
Dear Dora,
Just one question. How do you get that t-shirt over your head?
Dear Psych major,
Please stop trying to tell me what I feel. I think the gut wrenching pain I'm feeling does affect my mood, thank you very much.
Dear Future Me,
Please never fight in front of your kids. You already know what it does to them.
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