Please salt your sidewalks.
Sincerely, tasted a little bland when I fell
Dear "pretty girls",
I love watching your face when I say, "Did it hurt when you fell from..." and then proceed to say, instead of Heaven, "...the whore tree and bang every guy on the way down?".
Sincerely, if you want respect, earn it
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people.
Sincerely, but none of them really work...
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Sincerely, you call it gay, I call it strategy