Dear ramdom girl in my math class,
"Umm, he's my twin brother..."
Sincerely, "You two make such a cute couple!"
Dear menstrual cycle monthly,
I would like to unsubscribe from you.
We know that you like to dress a little more provocatively than our otherwise conservative family, and we're happy to leave you to your decisions normally, but seriously? A hot pink sleeveless midriff that basically functions as a bra and daisy dukes? It's our grandma's funeral. Have a little respect.
Sincerely, At the very least you could have worn black...
Dear middle schoolers I heard talking the other day,
What?!?! Youre bragging about seeing your girlfriends boobs? You need to learn a lesson from The Beatles
Sincerely, "I want to hold your hand"
Dear pop-up ads on the internet,
When you cover the whole page and make me search for the close button, you actually make me NOT want to buy your product because I'm so annoyed
Sincerely, you didn't think that would backfire on you, did you?
Please don't throw a fit when I can't serve you alcohol because you "forgot your ID". It doesn't matter if my coworkers know you and say you're old enough to drink. It's the law that I check. If something happens to you or because of you, it can come back to haunt me, too.
Sincerely, Your Waitress
Dear friend who just posted something about best friends and tagged me and 1 other,
Please know that even if it was no big deal to you, i was almost crying
Sincerely, the girl who never had friends before you
Dear mom and dad who say they don't like my older boyfriend,
Please stop treating him like a creep. He treats me better than ALL of my exes and actually cares about me.
Sincerely, your daughter who's tired of the judgement
Dear teenage girls,
Excessive amounts of overwhelming, flowery perfume smell JUST AS BAD as overwhelming, sweaty B.O.
Sincerely, you may like it, but it gives others headaches
Dear baby stuff marketers,
For many generations, babies were swaddled in regular cloth, slept in baskets/cradles/parents' beds, ate mashed-up whatever their parents ate, bathed in washtubs/the sink, were transported tied on their mothers' backs, and learned from INTERACTING with family and exploring their environment (not a screen!). Other than a new car seat...why do I NEED all your latest and greatest specialised gear?
Sincerely, Overwhelmed new mom
Dear kid at my school,
Not all white people are rich. I've almost been homeless 3 times, my parents can barely get food in the cup board, and I haven't gotten new clothes in 3 years.
Sincerely, I'm white not a millionaire
Dear sweatpants and sweatshirts,
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but to lazy to show it
Dear Suzanne Collins,
Please write a prequel to your popular series, The Hunger Games. This prequel should involve the first Hunger Games and how the nation crumbled and came to such a low so as to allow a dictator to separate citizens into districts and demand they send their children into an arena and fight to the death.
Sincerely, these are things I need to know
Dear guy on the bus,
Thanks for stopping me from falling when the bus suddenly stopped. I thought that only happened in cheesy movies and shojo anime.
Sincerely, a clutzy girl