Dear ex-boyfriend in Afghanistan,
We may not be together anymore, but I still miss you.
Sincerely, your ex-girlfriend who hopes you'll come home soon
Dear Donald Trump,
Please note that putting a wall on the US's southern border would be expensive (Mexico ain't stupid enough to pay for that), and accomplish nothing.
Sincerely, The Wall of China- which the Mongols went AROUND
Dear people who get offended at everything,
Will you stop it already? Just laugh about it and get over it!
Sincerely, whatever happened to being a good sport?
Please understand that while I am on the internet much of the time... It doesn't mean I have no life and no friends. It's not my fault that the few friends I have in this town can't ever hang out. Please stop comparing me and my lack of sociality to my extremely popular brother. If he's happy hanging out with a bunch of people that don't really like him... The more power to him. But it's time you realized that I'm not that person and I'd much rather be lazy at home, talking to people I like who live thousands of miles away, than to be with the jerks who live nextdoor.
Sincerely, Happy Online
Dear music store customers,
If you want to try out a guitar, feel free to ask and our staff will be happy to help you out. But please, no Stairway to Heaven, Nothing Else Matters, Smoke on the Water, Iron Man, Sweet Child O Mine, Crazy Train, Back in Black or any other ridiculously overplayed riffs and licks.
Sincerely, the owner who has come to hate these riffs now