Dear overweight boyfriend,
You have boobs too...
Sincerely, play with your own.
Dear guy cussing his friend out,
Let's return to the ways of Shakespeare, shall we?
Sincerely, thou art a gleeking, flap-mouthed cankerblossom!
Dear Ron Weasly,
No, there is not a potion that can cure ginger.
You're adorable, but please stop stepping on me while I'm lying down.
Sincerely, Ow! Not the boob!