It must have been the watermelon seeds I ate...
Sincerely, Mary (while unknowingly pregnant)
If you want us to stay virgins, you should promote, not denounce, masturbation!
Sincerely, horny teenagers.
Dear women on Valentine's Day,
Don't make us see "Fifty Shades of Grey". We will never live up to that!
Sincerely, Men everywhere who aren't handsome millionares with plenty of sex-pertise.
Dear fake ALS supporters,
You are not a good person when you do the ice bucket challenge. You're just a cheap person who gives into peer pressure.
Sincerely, Someone who donated money.