Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear insecure guy on top of me,
Please stop asking if I "like that." If I didn't, I wouldn't still be under you.
Dear people I know who see me at the movies and ask me what I'm doing,
Giving birth.
Dear 6'2" boyfriend,
You realize I can hear your heartbeat when we hug, right? That means I can hear how fast its beating after we kiss, too.
Dear pants making companies,
Please stop making fake pockets.
Dear aliens,
I have done more probing than you can imagine...
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