You have nothing on me, cos' tonight, I am going to sleep at 11.30 p.m.
Sincerely, world-class lingerer
Thank you for "shipping" me and my crush!
Sincerely, maybe he'll take the hint
Dear Guy in my building,
Please don't glare at me when I open the building "only" two minutes early. Next time, don't be wearing shorts in a snow storm maybe?
Sincerely, disgruntled building worker in Wisconsin
Dear job seeker,
If you do not meet our minimum requirements, and are not willing to do so, you will not get a job. No, the fact that you are female, or Hispanic does not change anything, and it is not discrimination for us to hire someone else.
Sincerely, if you want to work at a library, you need to be able to read English
Dear author of a book i just read,
So you're trying to tell me that in a world of vampires, a human girl pretended to be a vampire successfully for 17 years? You do realize that girls BLEED every month, right?
Sincerely, she would have been eaten as soon as she hit puberty
Dear woman driving the car next to me,
Please stop painting your nails while driving. You almost hit me.
Sincerely, the woman in the car next to you.
Please realize that just because you weren't here when I did my chores, and therefore didn't see me do them, it doesn't mean I didn't do them, and just because I missed a few spots on the floor while sweeping doesn't mean I didn't sweep.
Sincerely, Really? I have extra chores tomorrow for the chores I "didn't" do???
Dear people who try to win in an argument online,,
Remember to use "your" and "you're" correctly.
Sincerely, it just ruins your whole argument.
If you are so keen on saving the environment, please stop sending me things I never asked for and don't even read.
Sincerely, it just goes straight to the recycling