I am sure I will find the humor in this prank after I change my pants. Thanks for scaring me to death at 2 a.m.
Sincerely, NOT BLINKING! Call the Doctor and Clara.
Please understand that we all know that it's NOT one time sale...
Sincerely, relaxed steam users.
No, it was not because I plagiarized that you found my entire essay as one answer on WikiHow. I posted it there.
Dear English Ph.D,
I'll have cream with that.
Sincerely, the Med Student
I've told you this before and I'll tell you again: I do not suffer from multiple personalities!
Sincerely, and hey, neither do I!
Did you know that roosters start their cockleedoos at 1 in the morning and not the sun rise?
Sincerely, I didn't either until I stayed up all night
Please understand this - Twilight didn't ruin this generation's readers on its own; In fact, bad though it might be, it didn't ruin them at all. Justin Bieber didn't ruin music, either. If one series of books, no matter how bad, and one singer - regardless of any potential - ruined books and music for you, then you weren't much for them in the first place.
Sincerely, Signed, Seventh Sage
Sincerely, college application process
Please stop worrying about me leaving you. Yes, I know that you are going to deploy to Afghanistan in a few months, and that a lot of your friends who had already deployed told you about guys getting "Dear John" letters. We survived high school, boot camp, Advanced Individual Training, orders that sent you all over the country, and two additional years of you being stationed really far away. We can survive this too.
Sincerely, your fiance who will be waiting when you get back
Please start to make more sense.
Sincerely, hopelessly lost and feeling stupid
Please be accepting of ALL people. Not just gays, atheist, wiccans, and minority groups. I'm really tired of being painted as a judgmental freak just because I'm Caucasian and I believe in God.
Sincerely, I really don't care what you are... Can't we just have fun?
Dear Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear,
Please realize that not all women want to dress "feminine" and "sexy." Seriously, that's all you ever really tell them.
Sincerely, annoyed watcher
Dear girl who called me a 'dumb jock' throughout high school,
I don't know what's better. The fact that I got valedictorian over you, or the fact that I got into your first choice college and you didn't. Either way the look on your face was priceless.
Sincerely, I've been waiting four years to say SUCK IT!
Dear witty comeback,
Next time I need you, come at the right time. Not three years later.
Sincerely, I could've used you!