Thanks for proving the stereotype wrong and making ME a sandwich in front of all of your fraternity brothers. Before we were even dating!
Sincerely, I always knew you were a good one!
Dear Kind Man in Philadelphia,
Thank you for paying for that notebook. It was an integral part in my proposing to my girlfriend and I just never carry cash.
Sincerely, Happily Engaged!!!!
Dear artsy girls on Facebook ,
Yes, I always find myself in an artsy place while wearing my best clothes and looking longingly off into the distance when a photographer pops up and takes my picture, which I then use as my profile picture.
Sincerely, how does that work?
Oxygen and Magnesium? OMg!
Sincerely, bad chemistry jokes
Dear Today's parents,
Please teach your kids manners, They scare me more than people older than me
Sincerely, a scared 18 year old.
Dear "white people have had it easy for hundreds of years",
Did you ever hear of this tiny little period in history called Nazi Germany?
Sincerely, most Jews are white, did you forget about that?
Dear women who care more about the wedding than the marriage,
Please, the wedding and the honeymoon are about .5% of your marriage.
Sincerely, the marriage is a lot more different than the wedding, ma'am.
Dear judges on Toddlers and Tiaras,
So...you make a living...off of judging five year olds...on how good they look in mascara and bikinis?
Sincerely, you're worse than the moms
Dear Awesome Person,
Thank you for leaving the $4 Off coupon next to the baby formula.
Sincerely, trying to make ends meet
Dear Chick-fil-A customer,
We don't carry McNuggets or Happy Meals. Please stop asking.
Sincerely, Chick-fil-A cashier
Dear apartment tenants,
There are only two washing machines and two driers for everyone in the complex. Remember that when you have multiple loads to do
Sincerely, it's been 3 hours and I'm still waiting for you to remove your stuff
Dear group of teenagers TP'ing the house across the street,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, it's 8:30 pm and still light out.
Dear friends without glasses,
I see blurred images not extra fingers
Sincerely, annoyed friend
Dear cat who jumped out from behind the shower curtain,
The one time I don't check for murderers.
Sincerely, we'll played.