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Dear Joseph,
It must have been the watermelon seeds I ate...
Dear religions,
If you want us to stay virgins, you should promote, not denounce, masturbation!
Dear women on Valentine's Day,
Don't make us see "Fifty Shades of Grey". We will never live up to that!
Dear fake ALS supporters,
You are not a good person when you do the ice bucket challenge. You're just a cheap person who gives into peer pressure.
Dear humans,
We are the ones that own YOU!
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