Just because I eat my burritos sideways doesn't mean you have to stare at me like I have two heads.
Sincerely, it's fun to pretend to be a zombie.
Dear girl who I saw wearing my clothes that I left on the bus,
Yeah, that's creepy.
Sincerely, well, I'll be taking those back now...
"If you don't have an iphone, you don't have an iphone".
Sincerely, oh really now?
Dear freshly polished coffee table,
Spinning around on my stomach has never been so fun!
Dear Mr. President,
Roses are red, violets are blue, Osama is dead, can I now bring my shampoo?
Sincerely, I need my hair products when I travel!
Dear girls who's prom dresses look like two pieces of cloth held together by a beaded string,
Are you dyslexic??
Sincerely, it's "Prom" not "Porn".
Dear people of the world,
I will always be ahead of you, and in the future.
Sincerely, a girl in New Zealand.
Just because I'm a redhead doesn't mean this is like The Little Mermaid. There is no talking crab who's going to tell you when it's okay to kiss me.
Sincerely, DO IT ALREADY!
Please clear your internet history...
Sincerely, mentally scarred teenage daughter.
I found the $100 without needing to clean. I think you need to find a better hiding place that isn't under my pillow.
Sincerely, son who is now $100 richer.
It's not men's fault they look at your boobs. More massive objects bend more light.
Can you please be as easy as half the girls in my class?
Sincerely, failing student.
Dear pet cat,
Thank you for taking a bite out of my unwrapped McDouble and giving me a literal icanhazcheezburger moment!
Sincerely, maybe your cute kitteh face will finally make it to the main page!
You only had one life left? Oh, my bad...