You're amazing in bed.
Sincerely, practicing safe sex by masturbating
Dear Shop class,
Sincerely, The girl with a failing grade.
If you're reading this, you've been in a coma for almost 20 years. We're trying a new technique. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we're getting through. Please wake up.
Sincerely, The scientists in year 2035
I love you!
Sincerely, Marshawn Lynch
Dear Jon Snow,
You know nothing.
Never be hot.
Sincerely, the girl responsible for the toilet clog and recovering from Taco Tuesday
Dear other melon,
I'm sorry I just can't run away with you and get married.
Dear Bill Belichick,
Nobody believes you. Stop cheating!
Sincerely, NFL fans everywhere!
Never trust women.
Sincerely, John Bobbitt
I will not apologize for being an asshole to you.
Dear The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant,
Please stop marring my name.
Sincerely, Isis, the Egyptian goddess of the moon, love, magic, fertility and healing.
Dear atheists who are critical of Christians,
Why do you celebrate Christmas, St. Patrick's day or Valentine's day?
Sincerely, a Christian who is fed up with your hypocritical complaining
Equal rights come with equal obligations, equal accountability, and equal consequences. Stop trying to take the benefits without paying the costs.
Sincerely, a male who sees the inequality in your demands.
Dear students at my school,
No, I don't have cancer. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not a neo-nazi. I'm not going through a personal crisis. It's not a religious thing or an anti-establishment thing. It's just a haircut. I'm the same girl as before.
Sincerely, the girl with a shaved head