Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Disney,
I failed a history test because of you!
Dear OCD,
I'd like you a lot more if you were CDO...
Dear receptionist,
Yes, I just roundhouse kicked the elevator button.
Dear world,
Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope. What are you going to do when I die?!
Dear British guy in my AP World History class,
I thoroughly enjoy the fact that you know more about American history than half of our classmates.
Dear people,
While reading this sentence, the brain doesn't process that the word "the" was used twice in a row.
Dear Dad,
You always told me it's what's on the inside that counts, but you hate my black boyfriend?
Dear girl with writing on her t-shirt,
Excuse me while I read your boobs...
Dear guys walking behind me,
Yes, I have headphones on but I'm not deaf.
Dear guys who say condoms are uncomfortable ,
So is child birth...
Dear people on longboards,
We don't watch you board down the hills on campus because we think you're cool, we watch because we're hoping you fall.
Dear spider on the shower wall,
you can drown or get hit with a shampoo bottle. Your choice.
Dear substitute teacher,
Yes, that is my real name.
Dear middle aged man in dress clothes,
Eating your lunch out of a SuperMan lunch box where I could see it?
Dear Toy Story 3 in Spanish,
Does Buzz start talking in English after he's reset?
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