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Dear "Psychology of Sex" teacher,
Please stop using yourself as an example. You're seventy years old and I don't want to hear about your boners.
Dear fun fact lovers,
Snails have four noses, hippo milk is pink, a pregnant goldfish is called a twit, the dot above an "i" is called a tittle, the average person spends 2 weeks waiting for the stoplight to change, the cigarette lighter was invented before the match, platypuses sweat milk for their young.
Dear porn site,
No, I don't want to tweet this!
Dear people who believe that the world will end In 2012,
You realize that the Mayans also believed people were made of corn, right?
Dear roommate,
Please stop complaining about your homework. If you haven't noticed yet, everyone in college has it.
Dear boy that broke my heart,
I still have the video you made of you dancing around to "Womanizer" in a chicken costume.
Dear TSA officer,
Please stop examining my tampons, they're not bombs.
Dear hot guy at the party,
Why don't you look as hot on Facebook?
Dear Pope,
No, being homosexual is not a sin. But that robe with that hat?
Dear alcohol,
I made them dizzy first.
Dear Disney fans who praised Tiara as the first minority princess,
Please explain to us why we don't count.
Dear Snow White,
You took an apple from a stranger that made you fall asleep, woke up to a man on top of you and kissing you, then proceeded to call him Prince Charming?
Dear Black Music Awards,
Please tell me why it's ok that you have your own award ceremony, but if we had our own it would be racist.
Dear step mom,
Thanks for being a little less step, and a little more mom.
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