Dear Bronys that go see my Mom for their doctor,
Please stop going to her, she comes home everyday very confused about humanity.
Sincerely, her 16 year old daughter that has to explain everything to her
Dear table of loudly bragging frat boys,
Oh please, give it a rest. Do you see the 40-something gentleman with the gray beard, sitting quietly at the table in the corner? I promise, he got more action this weekend than all of you.
Sincerely, His exhausted and grinning wife
Dear loving older sister,
I didn't understand why you wanted me to give the creepy quiet guy who hit on me a chance, but i thank you. Never in a million years would i ever expect for him to be my one and only, but you did. He loves me so much and got me out of a depressive rut in my life. He is the love of my life and you are the best sister ever.
Sincerely, planning our wedding while decorating the nursery. :)
Dear "Violence is always wrong",
My neck still hurts from the last time I tried to kill myself. And when I came back from the hospital, the first thing I heard was: "So you didn't manage to kill yourself this time either? No wonder your mommy's ashamed of you!"
Sincerely, I just dislocated my bully's jaw and I sure as hell don't regret it
Dear guy friend,
Remember when I said I wasn't looking for a relationship?
Sincerely, I lied
Stop worrying about what others think. It's not a freakin' pin cushion, and it will happen when you're ready.
Sincerely, proud to be different
Dear chocolate ice cream,
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sincerely, a 15 year old with very few friends
Dear Mapquest Users,
Please Stop... Just stop...
Sincerely, Google Maps
Dear Old Woman at the Mall,
Please stop yelling at me for having a baby so young, It is a robot baby that I was assigned to for a school project. I didn't ruin my life, my teacher ruined my weekend.
Sincerely, the poor 16 year old you you yelled at for 20 minutes straight
Dear neighbor dog,
Please stop barking at 3 A.M. It has been 12 years and you have not shut up yet. Please die already.
Sincerely, the sleep deprived neighbor 2 doors down
I don't hate you solely because you're a cheerleader. I hate you because my best friend, who's on the squad with you and your clique, comes over in tears all the time after practice.
Sincerely, I don't know what you say to her, but you're tearing her apart.
Dear angry "attractive" girl,
Please understand that we go to a small school, and there are right around half as many boys as there are girls. My girlfriend may not be as physically pretty as you, but she is much more attractive as a person. I'd rather dance with her at prom.
Sincerely, the guy who understands that beauty is more about manners and kindness than physical appearance
Please don't make fun of me because I have a hard time calling people on the phone, ordering at a resteraunt, or even ringing the doorbell at people's homes.
Sincerely, an anxiety filled, socially awkward human
Dear people who think chivalry means holding doors,
The other night, my car broke down on an empty gas station. A man stopped and offered to help, but being a mechanic myself, I told him I'd got it. Then, he noticed a suspicious-looking gang moving in our direction, and so he told me he'd stay until I was done. That, my dear friends, is true chivalry.
Sincerely, a very grateful woman