Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyAttack of the CuteGrouchy Rabbit
Dear People who keep telling me I'm skinny,
Please stop. I never would have thought I was skinny until you all told me. My eyes see my body much different than yours do, apparently.
Dear SJW's GSA and LGTB,
I'm trying to be an ally, don't discriminate against me because I'm a white male who happens to be cis and identifies as straight.
Dear Friend,
Please don't freak out when I tell you this. You are the reason my eating disorder was fueled. Your brief period of body hatred and sending me "thinspo" led me down a long path. Now I have 1-2 appointments a week. But of course I can never tell you that you fueled me to diet...
Dear Baby,
Please EXIT! I can't take being THIS pregnant anymore!
Dear crush,
Please take a hint. You're the most amazing girl I know. We were Eric and Ariel for the school musical, the Beast and Belle the next year, and Romeo and Juliet this year. I've known you since we were 5. Words cannot describe you. Can't you see the way I look at you every day? All the other relationships in the world wouldn't compare to ours.
Dear Society,
Why does my level of success in life depend on whether or not I'm in a relationship?
Dear Dad,
Please stop getting mad at me for not being able to watch a show about sex crimes anymore.
Dear Christians,
Please stop sharing "Christian" memes over Facebook. Get your Bible out, read, and use your brain to interpret scripture. Share insights with people face-to-face. Don't trivialize your faith by making a show of it and/or without critically assessing your views. And for God's sake, show love and spiritual discernment in all you do, not pride-filled judgment and condemnation.
Dear High School PE Teacher,
I forgive you but it will never make it acceptable for what you let slide under the rug. You HAD to break me out of a gym locker because girls in my class put me there. But you never had to say, "There's nothing we can do about it because there was no video evidence." Me being pad locked in a tiny locker should have been enough evidence. Not to mention the amount of blood and bruising that was left on my naked body after being raped by the girls who put me in there.
Dear fate,
Since my two of my closest friends are dating now, can you get all the other couples I'm sure will get together at some point, you know, get together sooner? I'd like to place some bets.
Dear Juggalos,
Please take off the clown paint already. It looks retarded. Grow up already.
Dear co-workers,
yes, I know you all have children. Yes, I'm also positive I never want any. Do you want to amputate your left foot?
Dear Mom,
Thanks for this beautiful life and forgive me if I dont love you enough.
Dear Angry person on the phone,
Mmhmm. Mmm. Yeah. Excuse m- Yup. Mmhm. Hmm.
Dear Well-meaning Americans,
Please cut it out with the "white people can't experience racism" stuff. You think an Irish traveler can't experience racism? Or a Polish person? Similarly racism is not only something white people do; do you think there's no racism at all between, for example, Asian people and black people? You want to redefine racism so that institutional racism is the only kind that matters, as if a racially aggravated assault hurts less or is less awful depending on the colour of the fist throwing the punches, and that's ridiculous. The American experience of racism is not the only one.