Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear world,
Wearing tight, white shorts is every girl's way of telling you that she is not on her period.
Dear mom,
Yes my project is finished!!... Wait you want to see it?!!!
Dear Facebook,
Please never make a legitimate "who's viewing your profile app."
Dear girls complaining about bad cramps,
Try being afraid of blood.
Dear peanut butter,
I think we should have some time apart.I just feel like I am getting in between you and bread.
Dear life insurance company sending mail to my grandma,
She has been dead for three months.
Dear never ending story,
Why are the credits rolling?
Dear Dairy Queen,
Will you marry me?
Dear "gangstas" with low pants and backwards hats,
This is a toy store.
Dear innocence,
Sorry I have to leave you behind now.
Dear guy who "slowed down" at the stop sign,
If I beat you with a stick, would you want me to stop or just "slow down"?
Dear planking fanatics,
I plank in bed every night...
Dear ABC,
Please make me the next Bachelor! I want to date a bunch of drunk, tan, dolled-up girls while still being considered a gentleman.
Dear Justin Bieber,
The country music awards? Really?
Dear boyfriend,
Please realize that my date with you is the only reason I have not eaten the chicken garlic pizza sitting in my fridge.
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