Dear people who say"Isis militants",
Finally someone who agrees with us
Sincerely, war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength. AKA 1984
Dear über deep teenage girls,
Don't judge me by the past, I don't live there anymore. Kisses!
Sincerely, Adolf Hitler
Dear bitter women,
Please understand that all men aren't the same. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I offered him a 3sum (two girls) for his 28th birthday and he declined saying he only had eyes for me.
Sincerely, happily engaged.
Dear people who call evil beings "heartles",
WE TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!
Sincerely, The Planaria worms who don't have hearts because they don't need a circulatory system.
Please shut up. If I walk around singing "Let it Go", it might not be because of my kid, it might just have gotten stuck in my head after we watched it together 3 times in a row. And if I'm wearing a fairy band-aid, it might be because I like Tink, as well as because I had an ouchy. And yes, it made me feel better.
Sincerely, she kissed it for me too.
Dear older kids in the hallway.,
Please acknowledge the fact that we are existent as well and that there is a reason the hallway is so wide.
Sincerely, tired of having a mini heart attack every time the bell rings and I'm in the hallway.
Dear Nicki Minaj,
Thank you for teaching me that anacondas like bread.
Sincerely, South America, here I come!
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.
So my brother isn't hungry for dinner and you yell at me, saying it's my fault. I haven't even seen him all day!
Sincerely, I just can't win
I believe you, but if you're going to cheat on your diet with a piece of chocolate, do not do so in the bathroom.
Sincerely, It's easy to misconstrue licking your fingers as you leave the stall.
I don't like that you're secretly dating a priest. You're literally replacing my father with a Father.
Sincerely, Your Atheist daughter
Glitter is like herpes but safer
Sincerely, theater people
Dear best friends teacher,
Please stop imagining we are dating. I just like listening to music and catching up with him at the end of the day.
Sincerely, He is not ready for a relationship after his last girlfriend. Which I helped him get over!
Dear loving parents,
Thank you for not getting me the $15 birthday present I asked for and then buying yourself a $60,000 car two days later.
Sincerely, your newly 16 year old daughter