Please how can you call me annoying when you've never spoken to me
Sincerely, il show you annoying, ill be a case of chronic stick in the ass
Dear guy who sold me his old car,
Please let me know if you want your blood soaked rag back
Sincerely, should I be concerned?
Dear daywalkers and the rest of the human race,
Please note that I have recently acquired a soul. If you find that yours is missing, do not panic. I have done you a favor as you will now survive the impending zombie apocalypse unlike the mortals. You're very welcome.
Sincerely, a ginger.
Dear Chickens of the world,
Please forgive me for eating your babies. I'm sorry! Would you rather have me eat you instead ... ?
Sincerely, but eggs are so YUMMY
Dear Chinese People,
Please don't speak your communist ching chong language in public. We're in America, we're capitalist, and we speak English. I expect you to do the same. Thank You.
Sincerely, A REAL American
Dear writer's block,
I know you have helped me with my school work, but I need my space.
Sincerely, it's not you, it's me.
Please tell me how it went from BRB to YOLOSOSMENOGIGYSAE
Sincerely, how do people come up with these things??
Dear any boy who wishes to win my heart,
Please don't ever give me flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, or love songs. I will just get embarrassed and hide.
Sincerely, all I want is Triscuits
You shouldn't use that here
Sincerely, professor Oak
Dear Nemo ,
Why would you touch the butt?
Sincerely, all your viewers
Dear high schoolers at dances,
Wait you mean you don't do a Samba to this song?
Sincerely, teenage Latin ballroom dancer
Dear people who own iproducts,
Never under appreciate a working home button
Sincerely, I can't leave any app without turning off my iPod.
Dear Steven Moffat,
If I kill you, you'll just find a way to come back to life, won't you?
Sincerely, Damn, now what am I supposed to do?
Dear male working at Victoria secret,
Don't look at me when I give you a pair of boy shorts at the check out counter!
Sincerely, it's called period underwear...