Dear Life,
Please don't ever make me fall in love with a guy then realize he's my cousin, again.
Sincerely, Heartbroken
Dear scarred teenage girl,
All of my clothes were in the laundry...
Sincerely, man wearing his wife's yoga pants at the grocery store
Dear Lesbians,
Please leave other boobs for us, you've got your own
Sincerely, boob lacking heterosexual male
Dear School System,
Please quit using us as guinea pigs
Sincerely, Rosetta Stone, Block Schedule, 1:1, Year Round, CBE
Dear Dog,
Please learn to use the grass on the side of the road
Sincerely, sorry cars behind me going to work, he'll be done a sec, I swear.
Dear smoking person I passed on my bike this morning,
Please forgive me for fake coughing. That was a seriously jerky move on my part. I have habits just as bad and worse; it's not my place to judge you.
Sincerely, guilty passerby
Dear World,
Americans are only considered fat because everyone is classified as fat here unless your a size 00
Sincerely, average-weight American
Dear Roommate,
Please clean your pubes off my bar of soap after you use it.
Sincerely, at the very least...
Dear Woman,
It's not small, it's fun size...
Sincerely, Men
Dear Latin teacher,
Thanks for says, "That would make you a prostitute." when the girls in my class said they wanted to wear a toga.
Sincerely, that was great.
Dear guy that everyone says is a douche,
You brought me food at 10pm to my practice as I bawled my eyes out, makeup running, in costume and just sat and held me.
Sincerely, anonymous.
Dear women,
PMS is a social construct. You only experience mood swings and food cravings because you're told it's expected of you.
Sincerely, psych major who no longer has PMS
Dear fellow Americans,
At an airport, a man had to strip down to his boxers- to reveal the fourth amendment written on his chest. (The right of the people to be secure against unreasonable searches and seizures shall note be violated)...... The TSA arrested him for "disorderly conduct".
Sincerely, Concerned.
Dear world,
Please realize that being a size 0 or 2 doesn't automatically make you skinny.
Sincerely, a very short girl
Dear guy friends,
Please don't be scared to go to the gay bar with us.
Sincerely, if girls don't throw themselves at you, gay guys certainly won't.
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