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Dear society,
Please how can you call me annoying when you've never spoken to me
Dear guy who sold me his old car,
Please let me know if you want your blood soaked rag back
Dear daywalkers and the rest of the human race,
Please note that I have recently acquired a soul. If you find that yours is missing, do not panic. I have done you a favor as you will now survive the impending zombie apocalypse unlike the mortals. You're very welcome.
Dear Chickens of the world,
Please forgive me for eating your babies. I'm sorry! Would you rather have me eat you instead ... ?
Dear Chinese People,
Please don't speak your communist ching chong language in public. We're in America, we're capitalist, and we speak English. I expect you to do the same. Thank You.
Dear writer's block,
I know you have helped me with my school work, but I need my space.
Dear acronyms,
Please tell me how it went from BRB to YOLOSOSMENOGIGYSAE
Dear any boy who wishes to win my heart,
Please don't ever give me flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, or love songs. I will just get embarrassed and hide.
Dear Ash,
You shouldn't use that here
Dear Nemo ,
Why would you touch the butt?
Dear high schoolers at dances,
Wait you mean you don't do a Samba to this song?
Dear people who own iproducts,
Never under appreciate a working home button
Dear Steven Moffat,
If I kill you, you'll just find a way to come back to life, won't you?
Dear male working at Victoria secret,
Don't look at me when I give you a pair of boy shorts at the check out counter!
Dear Owners,
You never see us picking up your poop! who's the pet again?
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