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Dear readers,
How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Dear guy who held his newborn son up Lion King style,
You do know that in the movie it was Rafiki the doctor and not Mufasa the father who held Simba up, right?
Dear friends,
Please stop texting my girlfriend from my phone...
Dear boys,
Do you REALLY want us all to look like Barbie?
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Dear guy who just woke up,
Surprise!
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Dear guys,
Sorry I don't put any meat in my mouth.
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear boy who just said to me "are you wearing space pants because your butt is out of this world",
No, I'm wearing softball pants, because my butt is WAY out of your league.
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
Dear Prince Charming,
Five more minutes...
Dear Taylor Swift,
Please don't collaborate with Selena Gomez and write a song about me.
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