How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Sincerely, and ask him what period it's from...
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Sincerely, supposed to be a mommy...
Dear guy who held his newborn son up Lion King style,
You do know that in the movie it was Rafiki the doctor and not Mufasa the father who held Simba up, right?
Sincerely, the doctor who delivered your baby (now gimme gimme gimme!)
Please stop texting my girlfriend from my phone...
Sincerely, she thinks I'm schizophrenic.
Do you REALLY want us all to look like Barbie?
Sincerely, last I checked, she doesn't have a vagina...
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
Dear guy who just woke up,
Sincerely, the farts under your blanket
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Sincerely, you said what all of us were thinking
Sorry I don't put any meat in my mouth.
Sincerely, a vegetarian
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Sincerely, Abercrombie and Fitch
Dear boy who just said to me "are you wearing space pants because your butt is out of this world",
No, I'm wearing softball pants, because my butt is WAY out of your league.
Sincerely, look on your face was priceless.
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear $800 sweater,
Are you made of unicorn hair?
Dear Prince Charming,
Five more minutes...
Sincerely, Sleeping Beauty