Dear little sister,
I told you not to feed your sick goldfish Advil.
Sincerely, this is the last time I am giving the toilet funeral ceremony.
Dear 'it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball',
Then it's a new game, 'FIND THE EYEBALL!'
Sincerely, Did you not see that one coming?
Thanks SO much for having your penis out at the zoo today. THAT was fun to explain to the kids I babysit.
Sincerely, "oohhhhh what is that bird doing over there???"
Dear Secret Life of the American Teenager,
I find it quiet funny your sponsored by Nike.
Sincerely, "Just do it"
Dear little brother,
No matter how much jello you put in the pool, walking on water will never be possible.
Sincerely, not cleaning that up
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Oh? You sell clothes here? I came in to buy the hot shirtless guys you advertise...
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Sincerely, there's a pregnant woman in your ad...
Dear Trojan Vibrator Commercial,
Thanks for making it just a tad bit awkward as I was watching TV with my parents.
Sincerely, glad it can be bent into different positions.
Thanks for not bleeding every month
Dear children of the next generation,
Please accept this early apology for all of your names
Sincerely, yes I'm talking to you, Albus, Severus, Prim, Katniss, Cato, Rue, Sherlock, Rory, Merlin, Morgana, C
Dear guy at my school,
Just because we had a similar idea doesn't give you the right to say "great minds think alike."
Sincerely, last 4th of July you lit your pants on fire with a roman candle.
I didn't know you were serious when you said you'd show him the guns...
Sincerely, I think he pissed his pants.
Dear gullible boys,
I loved seeing your face when I told you girls go to the bathroom together because there are two toilets in a stall and girls don't want to go to the bathroom with a stranger...
Sincerely, Your reaction just made my day.