How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Sincerely, and ask him what period it's from...
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Sincerely, supposed to be a mommy...
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Sincerely, you said what all of us were thinking
Do you REALLY want us all to look like Barbie?
Sincerely, last I checked, she doesn't have a vagina...
Dear guy who held his newborn son up Lion King style,
You do know that in the movie it was Rafiki the doctor and not Mufasa the father who held Simba up, right?
Sincerely, the doctor who delivered your baby (now gimme gimme gimme!)
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Sincerely, Abercrombie and Fitch
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Sincerely, still want that sandwich?
Dear boy who just said to me "are you wearing space pants because your butt is out of this world",
No, I'm wearing softball pants, because my butt is WAY out of your league.
Sincerely, look on your face was priceless.
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
Dear guy who just woke up,
Sincerely, the farts under your blanket
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Sincerely, Just Wondering
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Sincerely, your daughter with a mouth like a sailor
Dear "America runs on Dunkin",
Sincerely, you think we run
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Sincerely, writing from jail...