Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear Rachel,
I can't concentrate on my test when you randomly burst into song to express your feelings.
Dear guys,
I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!
Dear teachers,
Why do you say that what we're learning applies to us in the real world?
Dear mom,
Is it as awkward for you as it is for me?
Dear dog who just sniffed my crotch,
Whoa! Please don't.
Dear "you are what you eat",
Weird, I don't remember eating a sexy beast today.
Dear guy in the aparment next door,
Thank you for not having protected wi-fi, now will you pay for my cable too?
Dear older brother,
Please stop making me do all your chores.
Dear boyfriend,
It's a bra, not a Rubik's cube!
Dear wizards,
What does spell check mean to you?
Dear world,
Maturity is like a parabola. After a certain point it begins to decline.
Dear super sharp pencil,
Thank you for making me feel like I'm writing with a quill and am therefore a wizard.
Dear uterus,
Please stop. You're overreacting to the whole no sperm thing.
Dear dude who said "it's raining like hell out there",
Rain in hell? Do go on...
Dear stomach,
You're absolutely positive you don't want another sandwich?
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