Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear guy who just asked how I like my eggs in the morning,
Unfertilized.
Dear boyfriend,
The only reason I'm making you this sandwich is becuase I broke your Xbox last night when you didnt come home.
Dear homework,
I'm saving myself for marriage...
Dear guy I have a crush on,
You're the reason I get up in the morning <3.
Dear Candace,
Why dont you just take a picture of Phineas and Ferb?
Dear legs,
Did we just accidentally participate in no shave November?
Dear iPad,
The guys might not get it, but when you first were created we all laughed.
Dear friend,
No, the fact that your vacuum is broken doesn't suck, it blows.
Dear pessimists and optimists,
Look at the glass... Now it's wine!
Dear Facebook ,
Please add ridin' solo as a relationship status.
Dear dictionaries,
Please stop putting such big words in your definitions.
Dear LMFAO,
You are the whitest black guys I have ever seen.
Dear irritating teenage boys,
Our department didn't stretch to buying you calculators just so that you could write "boobs." Grow up.
Dear Luke,
Who's your daddy?
Dear world,
I think we should change the phrase to "bubble wrap is the best medicine."
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