Dear hungry humans,
I give you aspara-piss!
Please don't stop the sleigh so fast...
Sincerely, Randolph, the brown-nosed reindeer
Bring it on!
Sincerely, a cheerleader
Dear Downton Abbey,
You didn't have to kill off the dog just because it shares the same name as ISIS.
Sincerely, a dog-lover
Dear "Doctor Who",
Can you please explain to me how the Doctor -- who can take on ANY HUMAN FORM -- always turns out to be a skinny, white guy?
Sincerely, someone who is tired of white-washed, male dominant media
May I please borrow your time-turner? I just accidentally tooted in front of my crush!
Sincerely, a mortified girl on her first date
I love you.
Sincerely, Marshawn Lynch
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hemsworth,
Sincerely, girls and gay boys everywhere
Please require vaccines for park entry!
Sincerely, someone who loves the park but doesn't want to die!
Dear those who are pro-vaccines,
I would like to enjoy my decision to not shoot my body full of unnecessary chemicals in order to have a chemically-induced immune system. I would like to build up my immune system naturally.
Sincerely, someone who lives in a "free" country
Dear Mother Nature,
I think you are going through menopause.
Sincerely, snowing in October
Dear men who don't understand lesbian sex,
If you don't understand what we do intimately, I feel bad for your girlfriends...
Sincerely, lesbians - girls who know what girls want
If you don't want us watching porn, have sex with us.
Sincerely, your boyfriends
Dear porn site,
No, I will not "like" you on Facebook!
Sincerely, someone with common sense