Please "If you don't have an iPhone, well, you don't have an iPhone."
Sincerely, Tautology Much?
Calling black Republicans "Uncle Toms" is racist. Your political affiliation does not give you license to be hateful to the people who disagree with you.
Sincerely, Sensible Americans
Dear Star Wars fans,
What if the Indiana Jones stories are really Han Solo's dreams when he is frozen in Carbonite?
I ate a unicorn today. It was tasty.
Dear Certain colleges,
Please don't make it so hard to find the decline slip. Hiding it will not change my decision, only piss me off
Sincerely, Going Somewhere Else
I'm the reason anybody actually likes you.
Please realize stereotypes are there for a reason
Sincerely, I have a crazy Jewish grandmother
Dear Jobs I applied for,
Please think about getting back to me sooner. I found a better job while waiting, and 3 months is a dang long time to wait to hear that I wasn't accepted.
Sincerely, I hope you go out of business
Dear visting USS George Washington Sailor,
Please don't leave, you just got here.
Sincerely, the Australian girl you met in a Brisbane bar.
Dear visiting in-laws,
Please remember that there are latches on our toilet lids for three reasons: your very active, inquisitive grandchildren. When you leave the lids up, those latches are rendered completely ineffective.
Please know that I will never forgive you for making my childhood/teenage years a living hell. I was the best child I could be, but you still put me down.
Sincerely, And people wonder why I want to move out for college, even if I have to live in a trashy apartment.
We like sandwiches too!
Dear woman at my gym,
There was no real need to bitch at me the way you did. I didn't realize that looking at you was deemed offensive.
Sincerely, I just thought you were pretty...
Dear Republican Party,
You've got plenty of candidates that can beat Hillary. Jeb Bush is not one of them. Please, nominate somebody who can actually win.
Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen
Dear Boys who claim that girls only go for the hot guys,
Please remember that we feel the same way about how you pick your girlfriends. Also, please remember that we want to be teens, not 16 year old mothers. With that in mind, note that we don't want a hot guy, we want someone who understands us.
Sincerely, Girls everywhere