Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear air freshener,
"Do not spray directly onto throat "
Dear dreams,
I like how I can do anything in them and no one will ever know.
Dear teenage girl,
You like Disney movies? And Harry Potter? AND you're a virgin? What a special and unique snowflake you are!
Dear Americans who say spongebob is Asian because he is yellow, can't drive and does karate,
Well Patrick is pink, fat, lazy and lives under a rock. He must be American.
Dear Virgin Mobile,
Irony.
Dear Doctor,
Alright, so my iron levels are too high so I need to eat less red meat, and my vitamin B12 levels are too low so I need to eat more red meat.
Dear world,
How do mermaids reproduce?
Dear teachers,
When we accidentally fall asleep or are daydreaming in class, there is no need to point a nerf gun at us...
Dear dad,
Going up to my boyfriend with a fake CIA badge and a water gun is not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet
Dear girls at school dances,,
Those dresses are WHOREifyingly short.
Dear girl who says she likes bad boys,
Guess what? I went on Disney Channel.com WITHOUT my parents permission.
Dear everyone who was in the Liberty Tree Mall at the time of my cartilage piercing,
I'm sorry.
Dear doctor looking in my ear,
I broke my ankle...
Dear Gay Brother,
How come you get kiss all the hot guys?!?!
Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
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