Dear white girls,
Ok, so like how much Starbucks can you can't before your Uggs literally can't even?
Please, I really like keeping you inside me. However, when I find you on my hands or shirt at an otherwise inappropriate times does worry me a bit. Could you at least show me where you came from? It would be the least you could do.
Sincerely, A leaky person
If god isn't real then how did zip zop zoopity bop razzle dazzle jello pudding?
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
Dear Edward and Peter,
Please stop fighting. You are both terrible dates. We've decided to become lesbians.
Sincerely, Wendy and Bella
We have the same middle name. Let's be friends!
Dear women who complain about feminism,
Are you having a good time on the internet? You're Welcome
Please don't barge into my room unannounced when I am finally figuring out how pleasant "alone" time can be
Sincerely, Newly Frustrated
Sorry I peed in your bushes.
Sincerely, I really had to go.
I don't love summer because I see you in skimpy bikinis, I love summer because I never need to wear a shirt
Sincerely, Self Proclaimed Narcissistic Douche
Dear Gay Rights Activists,
Please don't get pissed and lecture people who say "faggot" and then turn around and call black people "niggers."
Sincerely, a concerned individual
When you said that you thought we could kill Prince Joffrey together, I think I fell in love with you.
Dear church leaders who say cutting is a sin,
I wasn't aware that having depression was Biblically wrong
Sincerely, I cut because of your condemnation
Horses don't have periods. Cows, mice, rabbits, dogs, cats, mooses (meese?), reindeer, antelope don't have periods, and they can all reproduce just fine, Why, oh why, are we the unlucky ones?
Sincerely, lady in pain
Please change your mind and ask me out again...
Sincerely, so I can reject you for being so horrible to me.