Dear people who say"Isis militants",
Finally someone who agrees with us
Sincerely, war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength. AKA 1984
Dear über deep teenage girls,
Don't judge me by the past, I don't live there anymore. Kisses!
Sincerely, Adolf Hitler
Dear bitter women,
Please understand that all men aren't the same. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I offered him a 3sum (two girls) for his 28th birthday and he declined saying he only had eyes for me.
Sincerely, happily engaged.
Dear people who call evil beings "heartles",
WE TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!
Sincerely, The Planaria worms who don't have hearts because they don't need a circulatory system.
why is it that peter pan can take little girls out of there house in the middle of the night but when i do it its kidnapping?
Sincerely, i just wanted to show them my never land...
Thank you for staining every single sheet, blanket and pair of underwear that I own.
Sincerely, It looks like Tigger murdered Pooh on my bed.
did you seriously uber to school?
Sincerely, I think you can figure out a ride...
Dear Nicki Minaj,
Thank you for teaching me that anacondas like bread.
Sincerely, South America, here I come!
So my brother isn't hungry for dinner and you yell at me, saying it's my fault. I haven't even seen him all day!
Sincerely, I just can't win
Glitter is like herpes but safer
Sincerely, theater people
I believe you, but if you're going to cheat on your diet with a piece of chocolate, do not do so in the bathroom.
Sincerely, It's easy to misconstrue licking your fingers as you leave the stall.
Dear best friends teacher,
Please stop imagining we are dating. I just like listening to music and catching up with him at the end of the day.
Sincerely, He is not ready for a relationship after his last girlfriend. Which I helped him get over!
Dear "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve",
Please I think you should Adam and leave.
Dear loving parents,
Thank you for not getting me the $15 birthday present I asked for and then buying yourself a $60,000 car two days later.
Sincerely, your newly 16 year old daughter
Dear person who said that America has the highest obesity rate in the world,
Please stop saying stuff like that and not judge us by our country! You don't hear me making jokes about your country!
Sincerely, Every and All Americans