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Dear readers,
How do you confuse an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon...
Dear guy trying to make miscarriage jokes to me,
Please realize you're really ignorant and need to shut up.
Dear guy in algebra that yelled "HOW DO YOU ADD LETTERS",
I'm pretty sure I love you
Dear boys,
Do you REALLY want us all to look like Barbie?
Dear guy who held his newborn son up Lion King style,
You do know that in the movie it was Rafiki the doctor and not Mufasa the father who held Simba up, right?
Dear buyers,
Welcome! Our sizes are small, extra small, and anorexic. Our prices are high, higher, and OMG you're in debt!
Dear Men,
Please know that it's been proven that most women kill with poison.
Dear boy who just said to me "are you wearing space pants because your butt is out of this world",
No, I'm wearing softball pants, because my butt is WAY out of your league.
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Dear guy who just woke up,
Surprise!
Dear Curiosity,
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to here it, is it still Obama's fault?
Dear Mom,
I actually DO play the Mario Kart game you bought me. I love it! I just don't play it around you, because I get so into it that I scream horrible things at Princess Peach and I don't think you wanna hear that
Dear "America runs on Dunkin",
That's cute
Dear Febreze,
So I took someone to a sketchy warehouse, blindfolded them, and then told them to take a deep breath.
Dear older brother who got the mustache tattooed on your finger ,
Please don't show me your 'thinking face' in public
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