Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear dad,
Should I be offended or creeped out that you bought me a push-up bra for my birthday?
Dear Powell Middle School,
So do your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?
Dear crush,
No, I'm not Facebook stalking you. I'm doing character research in case I get to make a movie of my life and you're are in it.
Dear guys at the beach,
Just because you're wearing shiny sunglasses doesn't mean I can't tell where your face is pointed.
Dear guy bragging,
Great, you slept with your teacher...
Dear religious nut,
If you knew the baby would turn out to be gay, then would you approve abortion?
Dear microwave manufacturers,
Please add a "Stealth Mode."
Dear Mom,
"I was at work all day!" is not a valid excuse to make me do stuff for you.
Dear USB port,
This is awkward...
Dear Prince Charming,
What were you gonna do if i didnt wake up?
Dear education,
Why am I getting an A+ in Spanish and a D in English?
Dear little brother who opens my mail,
Jokes on you! It's tampon samples!
Dear judgmental people,
Why yes, I did just leave the high school parking lot blaring the Pokemon theme song out of my car.
Dear three impossibilities of the world,
Can't count your hair, can't wash your eyes with soap, and can't stick out your tongue and breathe out of your mouth...
Dear teacher,
Please understand that I don't call you "Professor" to show respect. I do it because it makes me feel like Harry Potter.
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