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Dear World,
One day, I will be your Empress......KIDDING! That's way too much work and I'm lazy...Or am I just lying to give you a false sense of security? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! HAHAHAHAHA >:)
Dear Doctor,
Please, do you really expect me to believe you made my ear bleed on purpose...
Dear snail,
When I named you Baggins I never thought you'd actually live up to the name
Dear genetics,
Why couldn't I be born with pink hair?
Dear 15-year-olds these days,
When I was your age, I was raising babies, not Pokemon! Get your life together, you old maids.
Dear friends,
When I ask "How are you?" or "How've you been?" and you respond with good, then ask the same of me, don't be shocked when I say evil.
Dear work,
I'm violently throwing up and you expect me to go to a doctor's to figure out if something is wrong with me?!?!
Dear Comrade Obama,
This is a capitalist society, not a communist dictatorship.
Dear Dad,
Quit acting like every girl I date is a gold digger trying to get at my money. You think I wouldn't recognize that?
Dear anti-gun extremists,
So you don't want any more innocent children killed, but you think the NRA members' children should be shot so they'll know how the school shooting victims' families felt. Not only are you hypocritical, you’re despicable.
Dear Folks who wear make-up,
All in favor of changing the name from make-up to war-paint, say aye.
Dear Europe,
How do you live without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
Dear King Arthur,
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.
Dear Auntie,
Stop sharing photos about how important it is to spend time with your kids. Get off your ass and do it.
Dear boys who are embarrassed when their voices crack,,
Don't worry; we think it's cute
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