Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear ROTFL,
Laughing So Hard I Fell Off My Dinosaur Just Kidding I Don't Have A Dinosaur But If I Did I Would Name It Frank!
Dear world,
You take so many unecessary showers.
Dear people who think friend-zoned is bad,
Try cousin-zoned.
Dear confusing boy,
So, taking me out on an expensive date, telling me I look wonderful, and holding my hand for three hours doesn't mean you want to be more than friends?
Dear bald people,
Do you wash your head with shampoo or soap?
Dear math students,
You only have 4 problems of homework tonight! 1.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 2.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 3.a.b.c.d.e.f.g. 4.a.b.c.d.e.f.g.
Dear middle schoolers,
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
Dear unsuspecting furniture store customers,
"FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!"
Dear Kermit,
You're right, it isn't easy being green.
Dear people staring,
I am 15. The kid I am with is 8. Of course she's not my daughter. She's my sister. I was not pregnant at 7.
Dear "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands",
Screw you.
Dear skirt,
Did you really have to tuck yourself into my underwear? It was a first date!
Dear really big guy at the tattoo parlor with so many tattoos and piercings,
Thank you for asking my friend if her purse was a Vera Bradley and perfectly naming the style
Dear optimists,
The closer it is to the weekend, the closer it is to Monday.
Dear guy that just tried to rob my apartment,
I have a 180 pound mastiff, my boyfriend is a professional boxer, and I have been a black belt in Tai Kwon Do since the age of three...
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