Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear crush's boyfriend,
When I said "Nice to meet you" I meant "Prepare to die in your sleep."
Dear Harry Potter Fans,
Did you know "muggle" used to be slang for marijuana?
Dear student whose paper I'm grading,
I quote; "i thnk abraham linkin was som rndom guy, i guess. idk. he hd a funny ht. he shood c som1 abut tht............"
Dear enormously tall black football player walking by me,
That really made my day when your phone went off and Taylor Swift started singing "Our Song"
Dear stupid people in my physics class,
Please keep getting really low grades on tests, forcing the teacher to curve the grades
Dear Jocks,
You may get a lot if girls, but it's not even comparable to how many we COULD get!
Dear judgemental fathers,
Hitler wanted to be a painter, but his dad said no...
Dear beggar who's sign said, "I bet you $1 you can read this.",
Clever…
Dear 11 year old,
Really? Your weekend plans are to get your eyebrows waxed, buy makeup and text your boyfriend?
Dear pervert,
Yeah, that's what she said. But not to you...
Dear Vice Principal with a lisp,
FYI, none of your students take you seriously.
Dear baking soda,
You whiten my teeth, remove stains from my clothes and bake in my cookies.
Dear Biology students,
I enjoy seeing the paranoia set in as you realize every answer on the test is A.
Dear little sister,
Did you really ask if I was a "cereal" killer after I stepped on a cheerio.
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for saying "Yeah, like YOU'VE never done that" to Mum while she was screaming at me!
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