Dear Five Finger Death Punch,
Please explain to me how you punch with five fingers
Sincerely, a Nickelback Fan
Seriously, what is Ramen?
Sincerely, British and confused
Who do you think you're fooling? You are NOT milk's favorite cookie.
Sincerely, Chips Ahoy
Dear People who only preach about "equality" for a certain group,
If the LGBT community can have Gay,Lesbian,Bi, or Trans parades, then I want to be able to have a Straight parade or no sexual orientation gets to have one. If the Black community gets a whole month dedicated to their history then there should also be a White, Hispanic, and also Asian History Months or no race gets one. If women want to be treated as equals to men then they also need to take on the responsibilities and consequences it comes with and not get favored in places like courts.
Sincerely, The person who sees inequality everywhere
Dear English teachers,
Today I graded papers for my own teacher as I already read the book. The test they had was open book and about 5 out of 7 failed.
Sincerely, how do you do it?
Dear person who first ate an egg,
Who eats something that comes out of a chickens ass
Sincerely, confused and disturbed person
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.
Sincerely, Am I a freak of nature??
We need some good news! I just got engaged!
Sincerely, Happiest Girl Around!
Dear transgendered female patient:,
Please stop swearing at me and threatening to report me to the Board of Medicine. You don't have a vagina or uterus, so I can't actually do a pelvic exam. And I'm an OB-Gyn: I don't do prostate exams. I also can't prescribe you birth control - because it wouldn't work
Sincerely, Just trying to provide good health care here
When did the definition of "troll" become "anyone who disagrees with my views, even if he/she is doing so in a non-inflammatory manner"? Why are some of you so quick to want dissenting opinions silenced, censored, and/or disregarded? When did seeing all sides of an issue become a bad thing?
Dear Fellow Females,
How the heck do I go about learning how to dress properly? I go into a store and get overwhelmed by too many choices.Why don't women have an easy standard for nice clothes like men do?
Sincerely, 21 and incapable
Function you. I want you X'd out of my life 4 good. Y? Because you have foiled my overall GPA. I want you factored out of my classes and distributed into a science class. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat some pi.
Sincerely, Bored DBPBer
I do not forgive you for throwing things at me when your drunk. I do not forgive you for making me watch my back when your drunk because im scared you might hit me. Im sorry i cant explain to you right now why im not going to your house. Im sorry i dont think you deserve that kind of respect...
Sincerely, A daughter that needs to know you still love me
That wasn't very knife
WAit, wait, wait, back up. YOU are upset with ME because MY safe, where I keep all of MY personal documents and MY emergency fund, was locked and YOU couldn't get in? What POSSIBLE reason could there be for you to need to be in there, at all?!
Sincerely, Good to know you're a klepto