Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear biology teacher,
Yes, your comment during class yesterday was hilarious, but really, you are WAAAAY too old to be saying stuff like that!
Dear girls who say all boys are the same,
You mean all boys YOU LIKE are the same.
Dear teacher,
If you know the whole class is going to see your computer screen, it would be smart to delete the email verifying your eHarmony account.
Dear girls,
Please stop mistaking our flirting for kindness.
Dear guys,
Yeah, I get it. You don't want the cake makeuped, half plastic, plucked, waxed, tanned and dyed chicks that are faking themselves up for attention. You want some chick that naturally looks like that.
Dear World,
I'm not waiting for my Prince Charming, I'm waiting for my King Arthur!
Dear girl who keeps taking mirror pics,
It loses its effect when your Super Jumbo Tampons box is in clear view.
Dear 16 and Pregnant,
Your prequel should be 15 and Slutty, and your sequel should be 20 and Unemployed.
Dear teacher making your highschool students sit in boy, girl formation,
It's high school, we don't think the opposite sex has cooties, we're going to talk no matter what.
Dear TV,
I'm sorry that I threw a shoe at you.
Dear kids who make fun of me because I am adopted,,
My parents got to choose me. Your parents got stuck with you...
Dear guys in the friend zone and like a brother zone,
You think YOU have it bad?!
Dear english teacher who just told me that Harry Potter isn't "written well",
How about YOU write a book "well" and we'll see how popular it is.
Dear Police Officer,
Well, in dog beers, I've only had one!
Dear math,
I used to like you; then you hooked up with the alphabet.
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