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Dear Neville,
Your Grandmother is a blast-ended skank.
Dear Reader,
I've had so many of these published I'm starting to think they're all written either me or like one guy I hate.
Dear Teacher who threaten female student of becoming housewives,
I find it hilarious.
Dear Customer,
The fact that you made me make you a tea with not only whipped cream but marshmallows as well makes me feel both queasy and sad.
Dear Body,
Please tell me why you always complain your exhausted and then waste energy on stupid things we don't need?
Dear Heterosexuals,
I don't hate you. I don't care about your sexual orientation. I just don't even like homosexual people who get all PDA. So please forgive me if I say "gross" when you are making out. It's the act that's disgusting, not the person. Just like it's the sin, not the sinner.
Dear people who eat a lot of fast food,
I just spent a month with no kitchen, not even a fridge or a microwave. That limited my protein options to about peanut butter.
Dear Self Defence Instructor,
No matter how much peril I am in, I am not going to "grab and rip" someone's groin.
Dear crush,
Roses are cool, violets are sub par, I know you don't love me......
Dear girl I like,
My finger slipped. I didn't mean to say "I think you're adora8ht895flhjdig759th02"
Dear Harry Potter,
I am the real saviour.
Dear pro-gun Americans,
Please realize that yes, guns "got" us America but they won America by murdering the people that lived here before us (with your precious guns).
Dear so called 'sluts',
Congratulations on your self belief. Don't let anyone degrade you.
Dear People Who Don't Mind Hearing A Bad Joke,
Just think that Jack and Rose fell in love with each other on the Titanic. Let that sink in.
Dear "Virgins are like unicorns!!!!",
They're horny?...
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