We had a good run. Your time in a coma was hard for everyone. When you were pronounced braindead we all cried. but when they realized you were an organ donor they prepped you for a surgery, which ended up saving 6 lives.
Sincerely, We're all stories in the end, I'm glad you made it a good one
Dear Mother in FredMeyer,
When your toddler ran off in excitement and you ran after him, I was sincerely worried you'd spank him once you caught up with him. You didn't, you simply took his hand and walked back to your cart with him. You restored my faith in today's parents.
Sincerely, The girl who believes strongly in peaceful parenting
Dear overreacting "friend",
Please stop freaking out every time any of joke around with you, in case you haven't noticed that is how we are all treating each other. You told us you wanted to be just like us...
Sincerely, annoyed "friend"
Dear Starbucks employee,
Please tell me why abbreviation is such a long word
Sincerely, Oh, so you aren't an English major? Oops
Dear College Board,
Are you lowering your standards? How did I pass the AP Environmental Science exam when I wrote a joke instead of one of the essays? How did I pass the English Composition one when I didn't even understand the second prompt?
Sincerely, confused (but happy) student.
Dear people who insist the hobbits could have used the eagles,
Mordor's atmosphere is poisonous until Sauron is vanquished. The eagles only came as a favor, they're not pets. The Nazgul on their fel beasts would have attacked, or the orcs would have shot the eagles and or the hobbits down. The point of the quest was stealth and eagles are anything but.
Sincerely, an observant LotR fan.
Dear rest of the world,
Just to tell you no one in Australia says "put a shrimp on the barbie" For one we call them prawns!
Sincerely, ALL Australians
Dear men of the world,
Did you know relative to its size the barnicle has the largest penis of all beings on earth
Sincerely, give up the macho facade
Dear guy friend,
I could handle the friends-with-benefits situation. However, now that you've started cuddling with me and kissing me, I'm confused big time...
Please WRONG LEVER
Dear people who care far too much about people's backgrounds,
I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.
Please move the : and the ; buttons farther apart.
Sincerely, I just made that text VERY awkward.
For once, can you please not put me in such a bad mood when I think about how lonely I am when I'm alone? Because it's starting to really get to me.
Sincerely, the thoughts in my head that are trying to be happy.
Dear girl I make awkward eye contact with,
I'm going to smile at you in the hall on monday, okay?
Sincerely, I like you too
Dear cultural stereotypes,
The French did not give up when the Nazis invaded during WWII; they started a resistance and became the symbol of independence. The Polish have produced such brilliants as Curie, Chopin, and Copernicus. Kazakhstan has one of the most modern capitals on the planet. Only 6% of terrorists are Muslim. Africa contains seven of the 40 nations worldwide that have been stable since their independence, something that no North American nation can say, and almost no Western European countries.
Sincerely, an (average weight, intelligent) American