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Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear teacher buying condoms,
Well this is awkward...
Dear USB,
Are you the backup plan for when the USA fails?
Dear Airport Security,
How is this gonna work??
Dear world,
I wear stripes so that I am not spotted.
Dear Readers,
Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to go down on you. And you're gonna love it. But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it, then I'm going to come back up and screw you, big time.
Dear teenagers,
Romeo and Juliet had sex, and then they DIED.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
Dear Captcha,
I see how you work now. With images impossible for humans to read, there is no way a robot would be able to read it either. But I want to use this webpage!
Dear pinkie toe,
I am going to bang you so hard tonight.
Dear Sister,
Please realize that your boyfriend is not going to change. You've given him multiple chances, but he continues to treat you like shit. You have a five-year-old son who is starting to think it's okay to treat girls the way your boyfriend treats you.
Dear Pokemon Go Creators,
Thanks for creating a game that brought my child hood back to life.
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