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Dear little kids,
Please stop saying "I quit" before I tag you. It defeats the whole purpose of the game.
Dear Mom,
Please stop keeping unhealthy food in the house. Yes, I understand that willpower is important. But it is really hard to have it when there is tempting food right under your nose, all the time.
Dear fat,
Where in the name of all things did you come from? I'm too busy to eat anything more than a quick meal or two a day and I haven't touched soda in months.
Dear Cupcakes,
The fact that you cover yourselves with icing really says something about your self-esteem.
Dear girls,
Please stop complaining about how bad your periods are. At one point or another you're going to have to accept the fact that this is going to happen for 30 to 40 more years. Get over it.
Dear Science Plus Teacher,
Thank you for the magic sand and bubbles we got to play with in class
Dear everyone,
Feminism is not about girls being better than boys, or girls not letting guys holding doors. If a woman gets angry at you for holding a door open for her, then that is not feminism. That is being rude. Feminism is about everyone being equal and happy.
Dear parents,
I promise I wasn't switching windows just because you were coming in the room!
Dear people who ask why doctors ask if your pregnant or sexually active when you have a broken bone no matter how young you are,
Please realize that if you have a broken bone, then they will need to most likely do an X-Ray. If you are pregnant, then an X-Ray might cause harm to the baby, no matter what limb it is, because the Ray is short for Radiation, which can cause damage to the genetic code of cells if concentrated enough or done repeatedly enough times, so a baby would have even more of a chance of genetic damage. If you are sexually active, there's a chance that you could be pregnant and you wouldn't know it quite yet, so they would check for that before giving you an X-Ray. The lead apron they give you doesn't always get rid of all of the radiation. If your doctor isn't asking this question, and you are a woman, and you need an X-Ray, that is malpractice, and they run the risk of losing their job.
Dear gay friends who criticize me for being Christian,
You ask me not to judge you for your life choices, so please don't judge me for mine
Dear Some Christians,
No no no....the Bible doesn't say to hate gays; it says to love your neighbor as yourself. It's fine to disagree, but never hate.
Dear Fellow College Student,
Yes, I did put your clothes (including your boxers) on top of the dryer. I waited for 30 minutes after your load was done, and you never showed up. This is a dorm, not your mother's house. You can't just take up the dryer until you feel like coming back for your clothes
Dear U.S. School System,
Please make it a high school graduation requirement to pass the citizenship test.
Dear other military significant others who submit regularly to this site,
Seriously it's not a pissing contest. Telling some girl to be thankful her boyfriend's not deployed isn't going to lessen your pain. It's not impossible to deal with a deployment either. It sucks, but it's part of this life and we all just have to deal with it. Instead of trying to tear someone down just because they're at a different stage in their life with their husband's career, or trying to negate someone's pain just because you feel yours is worse, we should be lifting each other up and supporting each other.
Dear older guy friend,
Just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I didn't get your sex joke.