Dear straight boy who said "you'd look better without makeup",
I highly doubt that.
Sincerely, a drag queen
Dear kids who always know the gossip,
Well...I saw my teacher and my principal kissing...
Dear teacher buying condoms,
Well this is awkward...
Sincerely, your cashier and student
Are you the backup plan for when the USA fails?
Sincerely, severely, uninformed
Dear Airport Security,
How is this gonna work??
Sincerely, abs of steel
I wear stripes so that I am not spotted.
Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to go down on you. And you're gonna love it. But it's only going to be long enough for you to start enjoying it, then I'm going to come back up and screw you, big time.
Sincerely, Fuel Prices
Romeo and Juliet had sex, and then they DIED.
Sincerely, Coach Carr.
Dear Justin Timberlake,
We're very sorry but you cannot return sexy unless you have a receipt.
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
I see how you work now. With images impossible for humans to read, there is no way a robot would be able to read it either. But I want to use this webpage!
Sincerely, you're damn right I entered the verification code wrong first time!
Dear pinkie toe,
I am going to bang you so hard tonight.
Sincerely, the coffee table
Please realize that your boyfriend is not going to change. You've given him multiple chances, but he continues to treat you like shit. You have a five-year-old son who is starting to think it's okay to treat girls the way your boyfriend treats you.
Sincerely, If he really loves you, he shouldn't treat you this way.