I do not forgive you for throwing things at me when your drunk. I do not forgive you for making me watch my back when your drunk because im scared you might hit me. Im sorry i cant explain to you right now why im not going to your house. Im sorry i dont think you deserve that kind of respect...
Sincerely, A daughter that needs to know you still love me
Please be generous.
Getting lost on the day that I have a speech to present and am performing with my choir was not very considerate!
Sincerely, I sounded like Donald Duck singing the Hallelujah Chorus
That wasn't very knife
You know what the best way to pass a drug test is? Don't do drugs.
Dear Anatasia Steele from Fifty Shades of Grey,
It is not BDSM. It is abuse. Run.
Sincerely, A REAL submissive
Dear school staff,
MY SON IS ALLERGIC TO WHEAT! I don't care about your damn healthy eating program, if you try to feed him wheat, he could have a major reaction.
Sincerely, Try and force him again and I will see you in court.
Dear children's book illustrators,
Where does it say I'm an egg?
Sincerely, Humpty Dumpty
Never ask a girl if she is PMSing
Sincerely, its never a good idea. Ever.
Dear slow walkers in the hall,
Natural selection, natural selection...
Sincerely, frustrated girl stuck behind you 10 minutes late to class
Dear parents against vaccines,
Homeschool your kids if you don't want them catching a cold from us. I also don't want the flu from them since they didn't get a vaccine.
Sincerely, annoyed person who doesn't like to be around people, but sick people in particular
So you called in, over the phone, because you want to disuss issues with your account, but you don't want to talk about your account over the phone because it might not be secure?
Sincerely, not sure where to go from here
Dear people asking about my track event,
"Oh, so you jump over hurdles?"
Sincerely, no... we hurdle over hurdles
You're right, your needs are much more important than my own. But, the great thing is that all of the other customer's collective needs are far, far more important than yours could ever be. So, it doesn't matter how much of a tantrum you throw, I'm still kicking you out for disturbing the other patrons.
Sincerely, deal with it
Dear people who use the "free speech" defence,
Free speech allows you to escape punishment for criticising the government. It does not give you free reign to say whatever you like. While you can say whatever you like, you will receive consequences. Try telling your boss to "go fuck himself" and watch as you get fired. Go threaten to kill a police officer and watch as you get arrested. Go spread bigotry and watch as everybody mocks you.
Sincerely, you will not get away with saying whatever you like