Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Dear alphabet,
I liked you better in my soup.
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Dear high schoolers,
You know how you hate those annoying twelve-yr-olds trying to be cool? That's how we feel about you.
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
Dear world,
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Dear dog,
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Dear runner,
Yes, I see you checking yourself out in the shop windows.
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Dear Crying Girl,
What's wrong? Heartbreak? Rejection? Cheating boyfriend? Wishing you could go back to December?
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Dear writers of The Lion King,
About that "Cats always land on their feet" thing...
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