SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear woman having me carry out your government subsidized lobster and cigarettes to your new Cadillac while you talk on your iPhone,
Please spend the $25 involuntarily taken out of my $200 check every week more responsibly,
Dear biased professors,
So, you only allowed one of my submitted works into the showcase, while everyone else got 5? Guess your plan backfired.
Dear ex boyfriend,
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you
Dear boyfriend,
Thank you so much for having a garbage can in your bathroom. It spares me a lot of embarrassment.
Dear people that write "bestfriend",
Hello. My name is Señor Spacebar. You killed proper syntax.
Dear Star Wars fans,
A suggestion: Next time you got to an airport, cover your luggage so that it shows a picture of R2-D2 and C-3PO. Then when TSA asks to take your luggage, you know what to say.
Dear teen mom at my school,
Your baby is adorable and I am so proud of you for sticking with this no matter the ridicule, hardships, and difficulties you knew you would face. I think you'll be a great mom, and your boyfriend will be a great dad. So what if it just happened a little earlier in life?
Dear World,
In the next 100 years, the word 'politician' will become one of the most offensive insults ever.
Dear Students,
Please stop using the word "extremely." It's not going to help you get what you want.
Dear body,
How did I manage to get tendinitis in my hip by walking across my college campus at age 21?
Dear Peanut Butter,
I was going to say yes to your proposal, but I've been hearing some rumors about you and Jam...
Dear principal,
Please do not say "Boys will be boys". That is not an excuse for asking girls for nude photos and stalking them. That is sexual harassment
Dear Friends,
Please stop judging me for not freaking out about boys.
Dear bullies,
you won
Dear Brother,
When you came home with your girlfriend, everyone knew you were gonna keep her when they saw you two playing video games, eating chinese food, and looking for comic book references in your favorite shows. We joke how she is your "snow bunny", but don't give her up, please
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