Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear cop who pulled me over,
When you asked if I was lost and I said "yes" I wasn't kidding.
Dear splits,
Just...a...little...bit...further....
Dear Selena Gomez,
Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend.
Dear "Baby It's Cold Outside",
Please let her go home.
Dear vegetarians,
In indigenous tribes only the village idiot, who cannot fish or hunt, is vegetarian.
Dear horrified sister,
Why are you looking at my browser history?
Dear diet,
Please don't take this personally but I kinda cheated on you with the chocolate cake... More than once a week...
Dear vampires,
Humans are annoyed with you too? You drink blood? You follow people around when they don't want you too? Join the club!
Dear America's Got Talent,
Two British judges and a Canadian judge?
Dear wall,
When did you get there?
Dear fans,
If Kayne managed to steal the mic, is Taylor really swift?
Dear cat,
Just because you bathe in the middle of the kitchen for all to see does not give you a front row seat to me getting in the shower.
Dear politicians,
Like diapers, you should be changed often.
Dear customer,
When I ask if you want your pizza for delivery or pick-up, please realize yes is not a suitable answer.
Dear world,
If a tomato is a fruit then is ketchup a smoothie?
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