Dear girls in the dressing room getting dressed for our Musical screaming "I can't get the dress over my boobs,
You do realize that we can hear you outside of this door.
Sincerely, the male members of the cast
I liked you better in my soup.
Sincerely, confused algebra student
Dear Cheating Ex- Boyfriend,
You are the reason that I bought a female dog named Karma.
Sincerely, Careful... She bites
Dear English teacher,
Thanks for noting how much time I put into this essay, and thanks for the A.
Sincerely, I wrote it during lunch.
Dear high schoolers,
You know how you hate those annoying twelve-yr-olds trying to be cool? That's how we feel about you.
Sincerely, College Kids
Dear guys who hate Twilight,
So I'm the gay one when I just went to a movie theatre full of girls and got half of their numbers?
Sincerely, you call it gay, I call it strategy
Dear girl with a flashlight shopping at Abercrombie,
You made my day
Cross walk buttons don't work. They're there so you have something to do.
Yes, the mailman has come to kill us all. Thanks for the warning.
Sincerely, your owner who nearly had a heart attack.
Dear daughter's prom date,
Come on in, son! Would you like to see my gun and knife collection?
Sincerely, have her home by midnight
Yes, I see you checking yourself out in the shop windows.
Sincerely, amused driver.
Dear Head and Shoulders Shampoo,
Please make a soap called knees and toes.
Sincerely, And while you're at it, make a face wash called eyes, ears, mouth and nose
Dear Crying Girl,
What's wrong? Heartbreak? Rejection? Cheating boyfriend? Wishing you could go back to December?
Sincerely, there's a Taylor Swift song for that
Dear Manufacturers of the Straw,
Please make your straws longer than the bottles
Sincerely, reaching for it with my tongue like a retarded chicken