Dear power outage,
Thank you for ending when I said lumos
Sincerely, my friends think I'm a wizard
Dear teenage boys discussing how hot I am in french,
Please realize that although I don't look it, I'm fluent in four languages. Bet you were surprised when I answered "Thanks but I have a boyfriend"
Dear Person using the Big Bang Theory to study for Biology,
I am a theoretical physicist. Not a biologist.
Sincerely, Dr Sheldon Cooper
Please stop telling me to bang 'em hard when I go to drumline rehearsal. It's.... awkward.
Sincerely, your 14 year old freshman snare drummer
Dear purple grape,
Sincerely, green grape
Dear people asking math teachers "when will I ever need this?!",
When you're buying 68.5 cantaloupes and your friend Joe steals 1/3 of them and you need to know how many he stole, duh.
Sincerely, now that is a life skill!
Students give you apples for a reason.
Sincerely, Snow White
Please send my regards to global warming. Karma's a b****.
Dear guy who just woke up,
Sincerely, the farts under your blanket
Proactiv has a new cream for removing dark marks.
Sincerely, how do you feel about that?
Dear girl who said she could get ten times the number of guys I could,
Well... i have 0
Sincerely, 10 x 0 = 0
I will find you...
Sincerely, Hand Sanitizer
Dear Prince Charming,
Five more minutes...
Sincerely, Sleeping Beauty
When you said that I suck, did you mean it in a good way or a bad way?
Sincerely, your vacuum
Please stop going in bars when you're underage... or at least, go in another bar!!! You're not supposed to see me like this!
Sincerely, a 25 year-old teacher who goes in bars and is tired of running into students!