Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
SORT BY
TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Mom saying "But I used changed your diapers",
Yes, and I used to suck on your boobs. Times have changed.
Dear "guns kill people",
Yeh... Spoons make people fat, and pens misspell words.
Dear white girl bragging that she's "black on the inside",
Really? Maybe you should have that checked out.
Dear 11:11,
You owe me a boyfriend, a pony, and an acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
Dear girls in my school,
Facebook asked "what's on your mind," not "what's under your shirt?"
Dear Geometry Teacher,
I know you think "real life situations" are fun, but that is not how I would find the height of the empire state buliding.
Dear Donald Trump,
I am really, really, really, really proud of you.
Dear spider bite victim,
I could have told you waiting 2 days before receiving treatment wouldn't make you become a superhero.
Dear people who go to the bathroom just to get out of class,
Gee, thanks. Now they won't let anyone else go.
Dear guy at the car dealership,
When you said that the car that I chose "would be great during a zombie apocalypse," I knew it was the car for me.
Dear Users,
If you don't like your friend's status updates or pictures, just don't comment. Face it, the "dislike" button is never happening. Get over it.
Dear Shower Curtain,
Please stop trying to get in the shower with me. I like you as a friend, just not like that.
Dear cashier at the store,
Why yes, I am plotting horrible revenge on someone! How could you tell?
Dear Facebook,
Please create a "Delete all the pictures of you and your ex at once" button.
Dear boys who let their girlfriends pay for dinner,
Yes, we are judging you.
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