Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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Dear girls who think it's cool to take pictures in their bathroom,
Seeing your toilet is not attractive.
Dear Boyfriend thinking he's going to do "No Shave November",
Of course I support you! As a matter of fact, I think I 'll do it with you!
Dear Future,
Please let me marry a guy named Jesse so I can be Jesse's girl. Have a dughter named Stacey so I can be, Stacey's mom. And have a son named Luke so I can say "Luke I am your mother!".
Dear Guys,
What do you call guys who make jokes about women belonging in the kitchen?
Dear White people,
You all look the same too...
Dear whoever invented tampons,
How awkward was it for you to explain your device to people?
Dear Harry Potter,
We have a colorless, odorless liquid that makes people tell the truth too. Except we don't call it Veritaserum, we call it Vodka.
Dear whoever made the desk/chair combo for colleges,
Please fix the center of gravity on those things.
Dear Mr. Diggory,
No, vampires do not sparkle.
Dear guy at the gym,
Smooth.
Dear Kate and Willam,
If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal then will that make your son be the half blood prince?
Dear Boyfriend and Girlfriend,
I don't swim in your bed, so please don't have sex in my pool.
Dear Girls who have Orange spray tans,
Oompa loompa doopity dooooooooo.....
Dear Victoria's Secret models,
Don't you just hate it when you're wandering the woods in your bra and panties and someone takes a picture?!
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