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ALL TIME
Dear Men,
I finally found a way to describe what cramps feel like. You know those really horrid gas cramps you get that make you double over in pain? Imagine that for a whole day to two days.
Dear crush,
Please notice the amount of butterflies you put in my stomach when you talk to me
Dear child of mine,
Please let me poop in peace...
Dear videogame companies,
Please stop rushing to develop new games.
Dear my dearly beloved cousin,
Please turn your music down. You may have earbuds in, but I can still hear every beat, word, and song you're listening to.
Dear bras,
How is it possible that the band's loose enough to yank the bra up over my boobs but I'm still getting stabbed in the sternum!?
Dear Time,
Please make more hours in the day so I can sleep AND get my work done.
Dear Customers,
Please remember that just because you think we work menial jobs, we are still humans. We work these jobs and if we didn't, you would be pissed that you aren't getting "the help you deserve". If you are kind to us, we will be more apt to be kind to you and go out of our way to make sure you have what you need.
Dear new seasonal guy who thinks only women have to vacuum,
Please enjoy the next three months of your seasonal job being on the night shift. Where at the end of every shift someone has to vacuum, that someone now being you.
Dear partner,
Thank you for taking a chance on me, I know I have bad days a lot, I'm so glad I saw your post about your art, and that we ended up Skyping. I had my suicide planned for not even a month later, you saved me.
Dear religious people,
Even if you force everybody to follow your religious laws, it doesn't make them religious or save them! If people want to follow religious rules, they will follow them willingly. And your salvation does not depend on what others choose to do.
Dear Han,
I shot first you little sh*t
Dear landlady,
Please stop smoking. You're killing us both.
Dear Sister,
I know you aren't straight. But I still love you. Do what makes you happy.
Dear Family,
Please don't talk about me and my problems in the car as if I am not there when I am.
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