Dear Bruno Mars,
Wouldn't YOUR eyes have to be open to know that hers were?
Dear person who stole our trashcan,
Well you know how the saying goes, "one man's trash is another man's treasure..."
Sincerely, not really sure how, but...
Dear room-mate watching Japanese anime,
Please explain why the characters' words don't match the movements of their mouths, and why there are abnormally shaped, floating, talking animals everywhere.
Sincerely, confused and slightly concerned.
Please respond when I answer the phone and say "Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?"
Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Sincerely, doesn't do "forgiveness" well.
For the love of all that's holy - stop putting sirens in your music!
Sincerely, just slammed on my brakes looking for the cop.
Dear " spiders are scared of you",
If they ARE scared of me, then why did the GIANT one near the garage door sit and stare into my soul?!
Sincerely, I think they'll take over the world.
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Sincerely, wearing a strapless dress.
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
We wore our pants like that first!
Sincerely, a very angry plumber.
I was just taking a power nap.
Sincerely, what did you think I was doing?
You don't have to worry about the world ending in 2012. Phil of the Future came back from 2121.
Sincerely, all under control.
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, just had a heart attack.