Also By Us Slow Robot I Waste So Much Time I Waste So Much Money
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TODAY
THIS WEEK
THIS MONTH
ALL TIME
Dear Phineas and Ferb,
Don't worry, when we make fun of Disney Channel, that obviously doesn't include you.
Dear parents,
If you buy sugar-free hot chocolate mix, please know that I will use massive amounts of marshmallows to make up for it.
Dear dreams,
Please find some way to be recorded so I can watch you again and not forget five minutes after I wake up.
Dear idiot,
The correct response to "No, we're not twins" is not "Are you sure?"
Dear squidward,
I don't get it, you get out of the shower and have a towel around your lower half. But when you get dressed you only have a shirt on.
Dear 7-year-old cousin,
Yes I'm serious, they don't have recess in college.
Dear parents,
So Santa has the same wrapping paper as us, the same handwriting as you, and an elf named China that makes most of the toys?
Dear schools,
Why is it that the classrooms are so cold? My iPod can't register the nonexistent heat of my fingers... Oh wait...
Dear Mom,
You always say that the sign of a great cook was their burn marks, but I think the true sign is the stories that go with them.
Dear people who can't get over the fact that Dumbledore's gay,
...but you believe he's a wizard?
Dear 5 year olds skiing,
I thought you were so adorable, and then you skied past me, going straight down the hill with out losing your balance.
Dear People who say "If your age is still on a clock then you shouldn't be having sex",
Are you talking about military time or regular time?
Dear person who egged my house with plastic eggs full of glitter,
You are my hero.
Dear English Paper,
I'm not exactly for sure what the main character's fatal flaw was, but I think mine's procrastination.
Dear "Wow you're so pretty! You look just like your sister!",
Thanks, but she looks like me.
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