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Dear jerk who prank called me at 2am,
I hope you don't mind that I put your number all over the internet.
Dear musicians,
For the love of all that's holy - stop putting sirens in your music!
Dear Romeo,
I was just taking a power nap.
Dear world,
You don't have to worry about the world ending in 2012. Phil of the Future came back from 2121.
Dear " spiders are scared of you",
If they ARE scared of me, then why did the GIANT one near the garage door sit and stare into my soul?!
Dear God,
Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT let this thing fall down on me.
Dear general population,
When I said, "How stupid can you be?" - it wasn't meant as a challenge.
Dear teenagers,
We wore our pants like that first!
Dear jerk,
I didn't slap you. I gave you a flatbread knuckle sandwich.
Dear Julius Caesar,
What did you think Brutus meant when he said, "I got your back"?
Dear teenagers,
Please stop saying "OMG!" all the time. I hate prank calls.
Dear essay,
I only like you for your body.
Dear Edward Cullen,
You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.
Dear internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Dear Canada,
How come you're always on top?
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