Dear woman having me carry out your government subsidized lobster and cigarettes to your new Cadillac while you talk on your iPhone,
Please spend the $25 involuntarily taken out of my $200 check every week more responsibly,
Sincerely, working 30 hour weeks and paying taxes
Dear biased professors,
So, you only allowed one of my submitted works into the showcase, while everyone else got 5? Guess your plan backfired.
Sincerely, the only student who actually sold work
Dear ex boyfriend,
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you
Sincerely, the girl you now ignore
Thank you so much for having a garbage can in your bathroom. It spares me a lot of embarrassment.
Sincerely, your girlfriend
Dear people that write "bestfriend",
Hello. My name is Señor Spacebar. You killed proper syntax.
Sincerely, Prepare to die!
Dear Star Wars fans,
A suggestion: Next time you got to an airport, cover your luggage so that it shows a picture of R2-D2 and C-3PO. Then when TSA asks to take your luggage, you know what to say.
Sincerely, "These are not the droids you're looking for"
Dear teen mom at my school,
Your baby is adorable and I am so proud of you for sticking with this no matter the ridicule, hardships, and difficulties you knew you would face. I think you'll be a great mom, and your boyfriend will be a great dad. So what if it just happened a little earlier in life?
Sincerely, someone who cares
In the next 100 years, the word 'politician' will become one of the most offensive insults ever.
Sincerely, A Random Person
Please stop using the word "extremely." It's not going to help you get what you want.
Sincerely, your extremely disappointed university administrator
How did I manage to get tendinitis in my hip by walking across my college campus at age 21?
Sincerely, aren't I a little young for this?
Dear Peanut Butter,
I was going to say yes to your proposal, but I've been hearing some rumors about you and Jam...
Please do not say "Boys will be boys". That is not an excuse for asking girls for nude photos and stalking them. That is sexual harassment
Sincerely, Afraid to leave my house.
Please stop judging me for not freaking out about boys.
Sincerely, I can like them without squealing, jumping up and down, and talking about them constantly.
Sincerely, the kid you used to beat up every day who now suffers severe social anxiety
When you came home with your girlfriend, everyone knew you were gonna keep her when they saw you two playing video games, eating chinese food, and looking for comic book references in your favorite shows. We joke how she is your "snow bunny", but don't give her up, please
Sincerely, . Your sister