Please allow my nail varnish to dry next time I decide to treat myself.
Sincerely, Almost wee'd myself.
Dear Mozzy the Cat,
Please feel free to sit on my face as a sign that it's time for your breakfast, I don't need to breathe anyway.
Sincerely, nothing like the smell of your arse first thing in the morning.
Dear man on the street,
Please reconsider the claim that you're "making my day" by spewing sexist slurs as I pass. I am worth so much more than my body. I am beauty, I am ancestry, I am faults and flaws and hunger. I am both woman and person, and I am not here for your pleasure.
Dear people who say that girls have to 'earn respect by not being sluts',
Please just stop. Girls, just like everyone else, deserve respect no matter how they want to dress. Who they sleep with is their choice, not yours. No deserves to feel like a lower life form because they get laid more often then YOU think is right or good or 'normal.'
Sincerely, tired of slut-shaming and victim-blaming
Please consider pursuing a career in pest control.
Dear Drama teacher,
Thank you so much for telling me that 'maybe Shakespeare just isn't your thing' shaming me into quitting the production. I decided that I want to be involved in this really badly so I become stage manager (hard work for a teenage girl at school to end up being the whole tech team and co-director). When I ended up working harder and doing more than you, even though I have school work I thought my name would at least be in the programme or something. No one knew how much time and effort I put into this; sacrificing my school work.
Sincerely, I just wanted a little bit of recognition
Dear people who want you to report bullying to the authorities,
They'll get 5 days suspension at best, and then make fun of you for thinking that works. My best friend's dad works for the school board, and people constantly tell her to kill herself. Her dad knows and they don't do anything about it.
Sincerely, girl who knows they only help good kids
why is it okay for Adele to make an album about her breakups but people make fun of Taylor swift for doing it?
Sincerely, think about it, they are doing the same thing
Please tell me why watching trashy TV (like the Real Housewives) makes me feel better about my life? I complain...too much. I REALLY hope I don't sound like these women though.
Dear English teacher who challenged a student to a handstand contest and won,
Sincerely, you just made my day.
Dear girl on the bus,
I am sorry that your boyfriend broke up you. However, that does NOT give you the right to assault the lady who came over to ask if you were alright. If the bus driver hadn't made you get off at the next stop, I would have forced you off myself.
Sincerely, a pissed fellow traveler
Remember that time we tried to put our names in the Goblet of Fire? I wish that wasn't the only time that we'd see each other old.
Dear Fellow Classmates,
Please realize that I'm not gay because I'm in marching band, I'm gay because I prefer men over women.
Sincerely, I still have more sex than you.
Dear Marine Corps,
Thank you for the four years of life experience and the travel opportunities. I've seen the world, been shot at and blown up, and matured immensely since I was 18.
Sincerely, I'll make sure to take my experience to the civilian world
Please tell me why an "A" is now an expected grade when it used to be F for failure, D for bad, C for average, B for Good, and A for damn near perfect?
Sincerely, Solid B/B+ student not accepted to college