Dear girl who hit my grandfather at a red light,
My grandmother was two months from retirement. She now has to work for another five years until she's 71. My grandfather loved that car, it was practically his baby. It's now in the junk yard. My grandparents no longer have a way to get around, and my grandmothers work is literally driving mentally disabled people to programs. She may now be fired. My brother, who was in the car you hit, has a concussion and my grandfather has a broken collarbone. Our health insurance won't cover it. We don't have enough money for food now.
Sincerely, All because you had to check your phone.
Dear Spanish Teacher,
Please have us do a group project that requires us to work outside of school
Sincerely, the only girl in the group with five attractive guys
Just roll with it, apparently I now have 9 lives, reap souls, make hummus out of them, and have a new super power every day, oh and I'm a fire bender.
Sincerely, my friends make the most of the ginger jokes.
Dear Dad and Brothers,
I realize that my ability to shoot a gun better than you might threaten your masculinity, but making fun of me won't make you any better.
Sincerely, Your daughter, who just wanted to be part of the family
Dear people who like to get offended by everything,
Saying the word "asian" is not racist
Sincerely, get over it already.
They recently just created an illness called Internet Addiction Disorder.
Sincerely, see you all rehab!
Thanks for proving the stereotype wrong and making ME a sandwich in front of all of your fraternity brothers. Before we were even dating!
Sincerely, I always knew you were a good one!
Dear George Lucas,
The sound effect of Storm Troopers marching was made by someone walking in crunchy snow, wasn't it?
Sincerely, figured it out
Dear students complaining about reading Hamlet,
Trust me, if you don't read it now, you're going to be KO'd come college. This is nothing compared with Chaucer, Donne, Johnson, Milton . . .
Sincerely, English teacher with your best interests at heart.
Dear 3 Month Old Daughter,
Please continue sleeping through the night until you're 18
Sincerely, One Extremely Well Rested Mommy!
Being stuck up and unapproachable doesn't make you more attractive.
Sincerely, guy wanting to meet new people
Dear 105 degree summer weather,
Can you not?
Sincerely, wishing it was always 67 degrees
Dear makers of Lucky Charms,
Please flip the ratio of marshmallows to cereal.
Thank you for teaching me to sew when I was a kid.
Sincerely, the only kid in her class with a Hogwarts robe.