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Dear Whole Foods Employee,
I just asked if I could get that in a plastic bag, not if I had permission to conduct a satanic ritual in your store. Please save that glare for when you really need it.
Dear ex boyfriend,
At least try to not suck her face in public, it's only been a week....my friends see you and I can too.
Dear world,
Does anyone else get extremely pissed off at people who make "mmMMMm" noises every time they eat? It's just food, calm down.
Dear parents ,
Thanks for listening when I told you what foods I can't eat.
Dear Cosmo,
Please kindly take your ideas of "plus size" and shove them up your ass sideways.
Dear Al Sharpton,
Please shut up. You're not improving race relations; you're making them worse.
Dear DBPB,
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
Dear 5 week old kitten we rescued,
I understand you are just being adorable and playful, but my legs are not scratching posts and my toes aren't chew toys...!!!
Dear annoying boy,
Please stop telling me to get a boob job, put on makeup and straighten my hair everyday, and wear tight, revealing clothes. Contrary to what you may believe, I'm perfectly happy the way I am and am starting to really resent you.
Dear person to whom I told "I like you",
Please, just honestly give me a 'yes' or a 'no', I swear I'll be fine. The 'not yet' helped but now I worry you might feel trapped.
Dear website,
I was going to submit this as a comment, but I figured it'd be best posted here, for anonyminity. It's really sad how some many people don't realize that they have value in life. I know that had internalized that I was worthless for a long time, but after some life events forced me to realize that I couldn't find my self-worth in others (what I had always done) I turned to finding worth my purpose and who I am. It's been liberating. While I haven't severed all of the old thought processess where I let others determine my worth, I now see through that veil. I actually impact people. No matter how small that impact is, it's one action towards a better or worse world. You impact people too. Be you because who else can you be?
Dear Geniuses,
Please stop being dead. Our generation needs saving.
Dear Minecraft creators,
Please consider Blast-Proof obsidian armor.
Dear Gandalf,
Narnia when I was 8, Hogwarts when I was 11, and Camp Half-Blood when I was 12... They've all failed me. Ill be waiting when I turn 50.
Dear my Psychology teacher,
Please stop saying how easy everything is in the exam. You would think it is, you have a degree in it.
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